概要
Info: The book is the process of being revamped! Continuation will start from July 2021!! Please fans stay tuned!!
A world where mages rule the world. Elemental power is considered the supreme. Magic is considered the nature of the world.
Kiel, a world renowned scientist of the modern world sacrifices even his life to create his own ideal world.But now is given a chance to reincarnate in a magical world where possibilities are endless.
But alas, he who thought that he had a great future waiting for him, witnessed that he was awakened without even an element? Is this the end? Or is this the start of a new journey?
What will Kiel do, loaded with his knowledge from the previous world. Join Kiel as he traverses the path of magic now instead of science. Join him as he takes you into how a real fantasy world should be
A new chakra cultivation! A whole new path. A whole new world. What will the world have in store for a little mortal?
***
Note- If you are bored with all the regular trade off the mill novels, this is something that you want. Give it a try.
This is my first novel. So please don't take too much offence!
Story may have a lot of buildup. So only for patient readers.
Note: Guys I am trying to reform the earlier chaps. So don't complain and be patient. I am a human too.
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78レビュー
4.42
- テキストの品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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This review is part of a swap. What I like is the originality to the cultivation and Rebirth themes, utilizing Chakra and known methodologies into the story. Quite ingenious actually. I really enjoyed MC's moment with the gods and the trials. His Rebirth is gold, brilliant. MC is coming across as a well rounded character. Kind of like an anti-hero. The telling of his family is cleverly executed. A few things this story needs. Revision for technical quality (grammar and typo fixes, novel format), especially in the first chapters up to when MC meets God. I'm going to be honest, those chapters were really sloppy. These are your opening chapters, which need to hook your readers line and sinker. Also, when it comes to opinion type perspectives like the prologue, be aware that some readers may take offense or feel awkward by it. When formulating such character opinions, they need to be written so it's clear that the perspective is from the character and not propaganda. It has to come across objective, non bias and (of course) story related. I've seen a lot of authors get in hot water because the narrative comes across as propaganda, political agendas and so forth where it really isn't. Even I've fallen into this trap and faced some nasty hate mail for my self pub stuff because peeps thought I'd spoon fed them gay. You don't want that. If you revise these things, you have a potential 1m+ viewer with power stones raining in. I'm even cocky enough to say this can be a contract worthy story WN can proudly show off provided the technical and storytelling quality is smooth and tight. Lift the bar. Thanks for sharing. I hope my feedback hel** a bit.
Hi author here! Just giving myself a 5star review to achieve 10 reviews. And no... This is not shamelessness. This is called self help. Anyway this novel is about a new system of cultivation in a magical world. I'll focus more on the life of the author and how he achieves his dreams. So hope you give it a try.
It’s a really good story. Right now it’s just short because the author is in college(I think, he could be in high school, I’m not sure on the specifics). The MC is actually really smart and actually acts like it too. He calm in tense situations and very observant of his surroundings(these qualities are shown in the story). Even better the MC seems to question the very things that readers would think about. The world building is impressive so far as it doesn’t take away from the MC “screen time”. The quality of the authors work is really good as it’s improving noticeably over the course of a few chapters. The author, despite not being able to put his full attention into the novel at the moment, has shown that he wants and is willing to improve his work by listening to the readers. At least that’s my take on it. Enjoy!
So, the story begins in an interesting world, with an interesting concept. It then suddenly shifts into this incredibly messy and overly cringy story about an ***** in a child's body pretending to be a child so he can keep hugging his mother's breasts. Sure, sure the author used the excuse of child hormones as the reason for that but.. why even put that in? Aside from personal afflictions with the story, the writing style is fine, a bit messy at times, but fine. There are a lot of mistakes, grammatical errors and straight up random letters thrown in many places, so beware. The world building is quite nice. Plenty of world development in the right contexts, but far too many big breasted beauties. Genuinely think the author has a breast fixation. The magic system is actually somewhat different to most I've seen - especially the mind glyphs. Although the magic system is nice, I feel like the chakra system he developed was... Vague at best. Although I just got to chapter 39, it may have been explained better but up to that point it was lacking. Overall, I had to drop the story at chapter 39 because I'm sorry, I cannot accept that a 5 year old, unaccompanied, can walk through the city late at night and be fine. Let alone go out into the woods at 3 years old when everyone supposedly knows that's where all the beasts are. There's a lot of logic leaps here that don't sit well with me. Definitely had a lot of potential but has been ruined by fetishism, and genuine oversight by the author. As a personal note to the author; please get a proof reader for the people who actually enjoy your story.
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well i read the whole 1st volume(41 chapters) before i dropped it... the story is well writing, no grammatical mistake, its quite a good book. i ll definitely tell someone to read it... But to me its too boring, too slow i had to force myself to finish some chapter. I read to get excited but read the whole first volume all i felt was annoyance.. If you like slow pace, boring, 41 chapter prologue, probably another 200 chapter before this MC can probably do something worthwhile, with good update, no grammatical errors, and quite an ok MC type book than this is for you. and you will enjoy it.. But to me this is torture if i read this book while on my bed i would have probably slept. well my opinion.. Bye.
Dropped, this book went from a solid 9 to a solid 1, it was good but for someone apparently smart he doin g some stupid ****, like he doesn’t have common sense....like who tf as a child even in a alternate world goes around and tries exploring, might I remind you he’s 5? Then the time skip just felt forced, like someone just cut that part of the chapter, can we also talk bout his incestual habits? which apparently because he loves his family so much, clearly, and for a smart man hes making some dumb choices.......
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Worst clifhangers all over the chapters. Timeskip are sudden and doesn't descrive what happened during that time leaving out important piece of imformations. Many important information was left like how he was saved, who attacked him with arrows. who impriosoned his dad. why they did that. really the worst way to skip time.
Thank you uuuuuuuùuùuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
writing reviews everyday so that the author would feel like coming back to write next chapter ;*;*;*;*;";";";*;*;*;*;*;*;";"!"!""!"!;"!";"";";"!"!"!!"!"!₹!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!""!"!!"!"!"!"!"!"
author please come back ::::::::::::::"::""::"":"::":"":":":"::"":":"::""::":":":';';";";""::"":":":";";";;"";;"";";";';';';';';;';';';';';';';';';';
The story started great, had a good prologue and a nice childhood. The time skip really messed up the story and seemed forced. What happened during the time skip seems skipped and there seems no real progress from the beginning of the time skip and the end. The chakra system seems vague at best and has to real structure. The author seems to just add thing to make it work or interesting. Also although the main character is supposed to be really smart, when the father dies (at least that is what showed) he ignores that saying that it was a “dream”. Even when his aunt suggests that something happened to his daughter he blatantly ignored what his aunt said, like it never happened. I get that people can force them self’s to not think about the matter, but in their subconscious they remember it. As a 200 year old person (mentality) (don’t quite me on that) he should have realized that. ALSO that he has pasted the gate which were different mental challenges that should have made the previous sentences negligent. In conclusion, the novel seems forced and vague. I believe to improve this novel the author should rewrite a lot of what I said and what other people have said. This is a bit of flaming but it is supposed to be constructive criticism. 3.5 stars for me.
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Here we are. Writting quality: I will only use one word to describe it 'AMAZING' 5* Stability of update: not bad, it's still early to talk much about that, since the story just began. 5* Story development: I must say it's one of a kind❤ 5* Character design: it's cool, but it's a 3* World background : not bad, 3*. Please don't drop this, am sure it will do good, the story has a nice premise, 'it's scary in the first chapter though' I was actually thinking, what if someone think about doing such thing for real😢 But am relieved in the next chapter, glad he did not anhiliate the world, 'phew' 😥 But I love it, so am gonna keep reading. Keep up the good work.💪💪💪💪💪
super read ............!";';';;'"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!'!'!!""!"!"!!"!"!"!"!'!'!"!'!!"!"!'!"!'!"!"!"!'!"!:!__!!_!__!!"!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_
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Apparently I have to write 140 words to rate this so I'ma say make more author you have a too inconsistent updates and it's like your starting one of those comment Patience Sects
Bala bala bala bala modi ka saala Bala bala bala bala modi ka saala Bala bala bala bala modi ka saala Bala bala bala bala modi ka saalaBala bala bala bala modi ka saala
I love how the MC is challenged. No really... This MC has such mixed luck that his life might be a Gatcha game or like his fate is determined by a fortune cookies. That is how randomly good and bad his encounters are. Watching how he rolls with the challenges, might make you think he has a death seeking habit with his life. Well what i mean to say is that, this isn't some cheesey MC with bull**** good luck with a smooth journey. No this dude has to deal with life!!! Shocking concept I know. Sometimes you may get frustrated with him, But he's real character. MC does not feel forced nor is the story forced. It has a delicate balance that few originals or fanfics have. I put this story development with Dragonborn Saga and the like. Good Job Author.
Goooood.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,,,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,.
I like how the mc grows as a person and this last chapter explains a lot since the mc was making some dumbass decisions before now. Anyway, I love the book so I hope you continue writing.
As of chapter 18, the story is coming along beautifully in regards to the plot, but what really stands out is the world building of the author. The author makes me want to delve deeper into the world that he has shown us, and continue reading more. The author has a flair for drawing in readers into the world that he has created. There are a few grammar mistakes. There are a few parts where you should check how you phrase certain things. I realize that the author likes to use double punctuation like ?? or !! once in a while is fine, but if it is used too often then it detracts from the effects that it should give. Other than that, there is nothing else for me to criticize. With a bit more polishing, this story will really shine. The chapters are wonderfully long, too. Keep up the good work, author! :)