/ Anime & Comics / Dragon Ball- Universe's Strongest Human
概要
Not going to be super omega strong, will hover around Goku and Vegeta, but the MC wants to be stronger than Goku! Goes through Dragon Ball- DBZ, DBGT, and DBS.
read if you want, or don't~ This is pretty much my respect for Toriyama
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The idea of having a superpower is interesting. Not out of place, and it fits. Especially the power of the fire of shinra, it's amazing. but you lost me at the 'shop' and his whole personality. first of all, having a shop is too out of place, and useless if you can just use dragon balls. and his personality left too much to be desired. He is an idiot. Goku kind of idiot. And acting superbly mad in love with launch? after saying that he doesn't support of dating, when you can just marry. i don't know why you decided to go with this path, but it would be a lot better if he's the hardworking type, that tries hard to keep up with goku. would be more exciting and better at least for me. It has a lot of potential, but unfortunately is executed poorly.
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Sinceramente o protagonista virou um figurante e triste dizer, porque a história, tinha muita pontecial, espero que melhore, _&&&&&_______&&&&____&&&__&&&&_&&&&&__&&&__&&&&&____&&&&__&&&__&&&_&&$&_&&&&&__&&__&&&&__&__&&&__&&__&&_&&&_&&&&&&_&&__&&_&&&_&&_&&&$&&&_&&&&&&&&&__&____&___&___&&___&&&___&&____&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_____&&____&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_____&&__&&&_&$&_&_&&&_
I came to check out this. I saw this because of your pokemon fiction, and I'll check it out
I only have one question, segs??????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
OK, this is the first time I'm writing a review for a fanfic this early but I hope the Author sees this and takes it as constructive criticism. the foundation of the story had tremendous potential with the human MC and fire force power but the MC lost all his brain cells when he transmigrated. He acts like a joke gag character for one-piece instead of a normal person with normal reactions which makes him feel dumb. Also, the dialogue is written too close together making it difficult to know who is talking. Author, I think you should keep the premise for the story but rewrite/edit it so the characters seem realistic instead of dumb