章 1: Darkness gets a Gift
It was a wonderful bright day in Axel. A wintery chill had clung to the air in these shorter days, but the sky was clear and the sun had stayed shining to warm the townsfolk as they went about their days. And I was miserable.
We had come to Wiz and Vanir's shop around midday. Megumin had to gather some supplies for her trip and we had all come along to see her off. She and Yunyun were going to be visiting her home town for a week. Yunyun had some test to become the true chief of their village and had chosen Megumin to assist her, which she had accepted with a smug grin and a clear intention to show up her rival.
It was a pretty typical day other than that, us all doing our own things while we waited for Yunyun to arrive. Aqua was munching on some crackers on the table near the window, Megumin and Wiz were bundling up her supplies and settling up the bill, and Kazuma was selling his latest patents to Vanir. I honestly wasn't sure where he came up with this stuff, the kingdom he came from sometimes seemed incredibly advanced for someone like Kazuma.
I was just idly browsing the store's wares. Row after row of items more useless than the last. I had tried some of these here and there but one can only be physically burned by a toothbrush so many times before they become wary of the wares.
So why was I bothering to look? Well, it was something to keep my mind occupied. Honestly, I was feeling rather depressed these days.
Megumin and Kazuma had grown close these last few months, and though my own feelings towards him had also deepened, the gap between us had as well. With Megumin leaving I could try spending more time with him, but every time I try it ends with him keeping me at arms length. This week would likely be the same, and he would be spending more time around the house so less chances to avoid him. Being stuck with the man I liked and without the ability to do anything… once a fantasy of mine now struck painfully close to home.
I picked up a snow globe with a paragraph length warning label before Vanir's voice caught my ear. "Aha! Such beautiful designs boy, Moi will begin the development stage as soon as he can. But before we get to payment, Moi would like to show you one new, very rare, extremely interesting item he has for your exclusive purchase."
Kazuma frowned, "From this store that makes me more worried than excited."
Vanir just waved him off, "Where will such attitudes get you in life? At least let Moi show you… these!" He whipped his hands into his top pocket and brandished two small objects in his gloved hands. They were small and shiny letter Ns with a hook on top of them.
"Earrings." Kazuma bluntly stated. Quirking an unimpressed eyebrow.
At this point I had walked over and joined him in studying the item. "They're quite nice, but why the letter N?"
He shrugged, "Just a style choice. Moi had them delivered from a friend of his, but Moi does not need them. Consider them a free gift to the boy who gives Moi such wondrous invention opportunities." His wide grin gave both me and Kazuma a shiver.
Kazuma took the earrings in his palm and considered them for a moment before turning to me. "Do you want them, Darkness? You go to more fancy evenings than any of us with your nobility stuff."
A gift from Kazuma? My heart fluttered at the thought. Such a little gesture but to me it showed he still cared a little for me, and seeing Megumin raise an eyebrow to us made it just that slightly sweeter.
"Thank you Kazuma, that's very thoughtful of you." I smiled, taking the earrings from him.
He gave me a small smile in return, "Just don't lose them alright? I'm not going to buy more if you lose them by the time we get home."
I nodded, deciding to just clip them to my ears now so I would know where they were. Plus to rub it in Megumin's face one last time before she left.
As soon as they were on my ears I saw Vanir's grin deepen and I got a huge pit of worry in my stomach. In the process of getting a gift I'd totally forgotten about him and his chaotic nature. "They're not going to do anything weird are they?"
"Moi? Weird? I will have you know those are quite the normal earrings." He said, winking to camera. I eyed him cautiously but still proceeded to clip the second on. "Unless of course by 'weird' you mean, 'never able to come off and give the user powers beyond imagination'? Then yes. They are weird."
"NGH! I knew it! You've cursed me in some weird way haven't you,?! You damn demon!" I yelled and quickly tried to take the earrings off to no avail. "You want me to be your slave! To toil in your underground jail while you whip me every day!" I snarled, breathing becoming deeper.
He just ignored me. "The item was originally labelled as cursed, yes. Moi even jazzed it up with a few bonus curses for good measure, can't have power like that go into some goody-two shoes hands. That would dull Moi to tears." He shook his head at the thought.
I pulled and pulled but no matter how much strength I applied they would not budge from my reddening ears, "Kazuma! Help me get these off!"
He shrugged at me, "Why? Seems alright to me."
"What?! He just said they're full of curses!" I snapped but Kazuma didn't even blink at me. Cruelly just watching my struggle with an air of boredom.
Vanir's hand reached my shoulder, suddenly looming over me. "Please stop trying to get them off. Even if you were to rip your ears from your head you'd find those earrings still attached to you, and the mess of blood would be quite a nuisance. Moi says when they come off, not you."
"Fine." I growled. It seemed I was under his thumb for now, and whatever terrible things he had planned for my body.
"Mm, fear, trepidation, confusion… jealousy. You really do have some good emotions girl-who-is-dreaming-of-ripping-her-friends-clothes-off-and-taking-his-cock-deep-into-herself-right-here."
"Vanir!" I yelped, redness spreading over my face at his brashness. I looked at Kazuma to see how excited he was but he still just looked on unfazed. Even Megumin had stopped looking over to us and just continued talking to Wiz. I gave Vanir a confused look and he chuckled at me.
"A simple showing of their first power my dear. See how there is no rise from the perverted boy you care for so deeply. Even when finding out how deeply an attractive girl wants to ravage him."
It was true, Kazuma just stood there uninterested in what we were saying and just thumbed through the money he just received.
I whispered to Vanir. "Is he deaf now or something?"
"Nope." He replied. "Just doesn't really bother me."
Vanir cut in before I could ask anything else. "Well said boy! You'll find that everyone in this world now does not mind one bit what you do!" He presented Kazuma to me, "Poke him, slap him, tickle his special area you humans care so much for, his reaction will stay 100% neutral!"
I tested the waters with what Vanir suggested, poking Kazuma right in the face. Nothing. A few more pokes. He blinked but nothing. I brought both hands up and rapidly attacked his face. And when I stopped the only thing he did was rub an area of his reddened face and say "Ow."
Looking at Vanir, he rolled his eyes at me. "Yes, well. The idiot still feels things obviously."
I nodded. "Okay, I think I get it. So it's like I'm invisible but not?" I reached out and held Kazuma's hand in mine, he turned away but didn't let go. "Everyone will let me do what I want with them. My actions will look totally no-"
He raised a hand to cover my mouth. "Up-bup-bup! Not so fast, you nearly found out rule two of the earrings."
"Rule two? I thought this was the power."
"Well, technically it's the power of the left earring but since you'll never take them off that doesn't really matter." He said as he walked around behind me. "But allow Moi to demonstrate Power Number Two you now possess!"
He put his hands on my earlobes, the sudden motion causing me to jump. But Vanir and his demon strength just ignored me. "Using the word 'normal' in a sentence changes the perception of reality for those around you. They can even change reality depending on how you word it! Por example, take that lowly goddess, eating Moi out of house and home with her constant visits. If you wanted to, say the magic words 'it is normal for that goddess' hair to be bright red while she eats crackers'." I watched as Aqua's hair faded from it's regular light blue into a vibrant deep scarlet. Just completely changed, without her having a care in the world and dunking another biscuit in her tea.
"T-they change reality?!" I gasped, staring at Aqua who just looked at me confused.
"They do, you catch on quick." He said. I watched as Aqua swallowed her mouthful of cracker and her hair shifted back to it's usual light blue. Aqua was now quite confused by the staring and tried wiping her face for any crumbs on it.
Vanir let go of my ears and Kazuma spoke up again. "Hey, maybe you could make it normal for you to actually hit things when you swing." He suggested but my mouth had other plans.
"It's normal for people to slap my ass as a greeting!"
For the briefest of moments, Kazuma had a look of deep disappointment on his face. It quickly returned to his neutral look, though a little quizzical now. "Hm? Why'd you say that? That's already a normal thing you idiot."
Huh? I-it was?
"Of course it is!" Vanir cut in again. Dramatically putting a hand on his back and dragging Kazuma slightly away from us. "That's one of the many bonus curses Moi put on it to drag out despair! She'll only ever say things are normal when they already are! Truly just another terrible item from this house of lies!"
"You really shouldn't be advertising like that." Kazuma warned before shrugging it off. "But I guess it's good that they're not that strong. I was about to feel regret that I pawned them off to Darkness."
Vanir gave a chuckle and lightly patted his back towards Megumin then walked back over to me.
"I don't get it. I can't change anything now?"
"No no. Moi just wanted to give you a cover, no one will worry about what you've changed now as they will interpret it as having been that way all along."
I rested my chin in my hand. "But everything seems the same…"
Honestly I was still having my doubts about the power of the rings. Maybe Vanir was paying off everyone in the shop in order to prank me into saying or doing something embarrassing, even adding some magic potion into Aqua's tea to change her hair. It'd definitely be his usual style to reveal it was all fake and bask in my feelings of shame.
My confusion was interrupted by Yunyun bursting through the door, completely out of breath. She scanned the room then let out a frustrated groan. "Aw… I wanted to beat Megumin here so I ran from my house but you're here already."
Megumin just put a hand on her face in embarrassment, "Such a loser."
Yunyun shook it off quickly. "Well, are you ready for the trip, Megumin?"
Her rival nodded back and threw her new bindle full of items over her shoulder. "Yeah, got the last of the supplies and I'm ready to go! We'll take this test by storm Yunyun!" She punctuated the final point with a pose.
Kazuma patted her on the shoulder. "Good luck over there you two. Try not to blow everything up and leave it all to Yunyun to clean up."
She rolled her eyes at him then donked him with her staff. "You guys have fun here too. Try not to do any really big quests until I get back."
"Don't worry, we're not going to do any qu-" Aqua paused when she caught an angry glare from Kazuma. "Uhh, we won't! Just small, big payment quests!"
With a smile and wave to everyone Megumin walked out the door with a wave, Yunyun starting to join her when she suddenly stopped.
"Bye everyone! Oh right."
When she saw me she started rubbing her hands together. Strutting straight towards me and winding back her arm before letting loose a palm across my ass.
SLAP!
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