章 30: Chapter 30: Self-Loathing
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Maria had been cheerfully humming just moments ago, but now she was working with dead eyes.
Should I praise her for continuing to work despite her state? Or is she simply using labor as an escape because she doesn't want to think about what happened?
All I gave her was some ordinary holy water, which I've used before. To begin with, there's no such thing as medicine that can prevent succubi from possessing people. Y-you couldn't expect men to create something like that, could you? After all, Succubi are a blessing that allows guys to cheat on their wives openly!
Drinking holy water has no harmful effects on the body. In fact, it might even improve one's health slightly. So Maria should be feeling physically better than ever; her mental state is just awful.
I wish she would at least pretend to be happier now that she isn't possessed by a Succubus anymore, but I decide not to push too hard. After all, there's something cute about seeing her so dejected like this.
Over these past three weeks, Maria has learned how to cope with her overwhelming libido fairly well.
But really, the only reason she could manage was because we were releasing some of the tension each night. Now that she can no longer blame the Succubus for her desires, she'll have to fight those urges alone.
"Today is a special treat. Even the goddess must be pleased."
"Oh... Ha-ha... Thank you very much..."
Meanwhile, I maintained my unnecessarily high spirits.
Was it appropriate for a boss to be so ecstatic that his precious subordinate had been saved? This would help reinforce the idea that everything I'd done up until now was out of concern for her, not affection—simply fulfilling my duty to rescue Maria from her curse.
I'm sure she must have thought otherwise.
After all, we spent so much time entwined together; surely I must care about her at least a little bit?
But those illusions were shattered with ease.
My actions were driven entirely by obligation, and even that reason no longer existed.
The reality that she had selfishly taken advantage of me must have sunk deeper within her consciousness. Nurture it, nurture it. Let Maria's guilt grow stronger.
"I suppose we can allow ourselves a small drink tonight as well. I'll just run out quickly to pick something up."
"Y-you don't have to go that far!"
"What do you mean? I absolutely should."
Which of these factors—losing access to sex with me or realizing she'd only been using me all along—is hitting her harder?
Either way is fine by me, but it would make me happy if the latter was stronger.
Later...
"Ahh... ♡ Hnnn... ♡ Uuugh... ♡ Nnngh... ♡♡"
That night.
After enjoying a slightly more extravagant meal than usual, I should've drifted off comfortably to sleep...but no such luck.
Since there's no longer any need for us to share a bed, we're back in separate rooms again. After waiting a little while, I press my ear against the wall.
As expected, I can hear Maria indulging herself on the other side. But unlike before, her voice doesn't sound blissfully lost in pleasure; instead, it seems somehow frustrated, sorrowful, and unsatisfied.
How pathetic.
Despite having such a caring boss who goes out of her way for me, I still couldn't resist my sexual urges.
Even if masturbating alone brings me pleasure, it only makes me feel more wretched afterward.
Still, if I don't take care of myself now, tomorrow will be unbearable.
I've already experienced what happens when spending too much time near someone you desire while consumed by lust.
Although tempted to peek at Maria indulging herself amidst self-loathing, I decide to restrain myself this time.
It's not because watching would be distasteful or anything; it's just too late for that concern now.
The real issue is, once I start observing, I doubt I could stop...
"...aah ♡ faah ♡...gugh ♡ ugh ♡...huff ♡ huuuff ♡"
As Maria's moans gradually diminish, sounding almost uncharacteristically soft compared to her usual animalistic fervor, I continue pressed against the wall.
Just a little longer.
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