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87.5% CLOWN / Chapter 14: 14

章 14: 14

I awoke with a jerk, my mind clear and nary with the drowsiness that came with awakening suddenly from willing unconsciousness. I took in my surroundings, noting that it was the same room I had was reborn in, barely giving it a second thought as I was unprepared to accept the fact that I was dead, that I had lost contact with my family, that I was unable to watch the ones dearest me grow in power, that I had lost three years of time with my family.

Yep, definitely wasn't ready to deal with it yet, thus without further ado, I kicked off the covers and tossed myself off the bed with practiced ease, this was something I had done one too many times before my abrupt demise and reawakening. How I'd love not to be reminded of that very matter, but at least, I'm alive and kicking again and ready to send the world into a vortex of chaotic love.

Within minutes, I was out the door and running through the bland and undecorated corridor of whatever building I was in. phantom flashbacks of when I was running through the corridor of my house from the bastard trio flashed through my mind, halting my movement to a jarring stop. I looked up, half expecting to see a chandelier, there was none. The source of light for the peace infused and memory invoking corridor came from the many oil lamps lined up on the wall.

Deciding to walk rather than continue my sprint, I took the time to feel my body as I moved, memories of dad teaching me subtlety in movement zipped through my mind, I didn't force it down this time, I savoured it, and in moments, my body began imitating the movement in my head.

"Do not slam your feet like a juvenile golem throwing a tantrum, be like the mist that flows through dark lands at dusk, silent and unheard. Step with your heel and swivel if you must with your toes. Crutch low, with emphasis on your laps and breathe with every step. Be the jungle terror that strikes with stealth and skill, unseen and unheard. That is the way of sneaking to steal your mother's table cookies".

For a father, he was a tad ridiculous and half of his words at the time didn't make much sense to me, yet right now, they did. As I prowled through the corridor, my feet padded the ground with almost no sound, the new clarity that flooded my mind at my rebirth made understanding the initial jargons of his words much more understandable, as I neared the door and reached for the handle, a soothing feeling of near completion spread through my being, in a bit, my soul would be fully nestled with my body and my body be made anew.

I jerked the door open and stepped out, a cool breeze made my shoulder length grey hair flutter, I closed my eyes and breathe in deep. My perception pinged me that a figure stood under the shade on the far right of the house I had slept in, somehow, I knew it was my brother.

"Three guesses to figure out why you are up at such ungodly hour. Guess one, you're training, guess two, insomnia, guess three, you suddenly became a selenophile in my absence. Which is right?" With my eyes still close, I muttered, very well aware he could hear me clearly.

"All wrong guesses kid bro, simply came to see you is all. I felt you jerk awake". Was his reply.

"Colour me surprised, since when did you care? If my memory serves me right, which I'm certain it does, you're a bully who deserves to be beaten up by me someday when I become stronger than you". I say with a smile as I walk into the light of the moon. His reply is delayed by his chuckle and smothered shuffle of his feet as he walks out of his dark corner and into Luna's silvery grace. The sky clear without clouds, making her shine even brighter.

"I do care kid bro, always have. Besides, you can't call our little charade bullying now can you?"

"Ha, I can, and I will. Just be ready for a whopping someday, I won't go easy on you even if you beg".

That made him burst into barely stifled laughter, I giggled too. It was an inside joke we shared, but not so inside if looked at deeply. Elens' don't beg, even if their life where on the line. I stopped giggling when I recalled this point, I did beg for my life, I cried and sobbed when inevitable capture that could have led to my death was thrust in my face. It may have given me the opportunity to rid her of her origin breathe, still, I begged for my life, to be spared, and yet, I died anyway.

"I begged Salvatore, I begged for my life, to be spared from the sickle of death that had hung ready to reap my life. I had begged when a sense of capture hung heavy, like a dozen wet blanket above me, ready to cover me in darkness. I had sobbed and wept and cried, when I felt hopelessness because I had lost faith in myself and in my family's ability to save me. And yet, here I stand, laughing and giggling because we do not beg, I feel so foolish". I whispered, my voice barely an echo over there constant chirps of the nocturnal insect. I felt like a fool as I gave my confession.

"Edel, you seem to forget that three years ago, you where ten. A child of ten, fighting two Tier 9 Rank 0 and a Rank 1 Tier 0 trained mercenaries. You where ten years of age, with almost no training whatsoever, zero awakener skill, zero affinity, and pretty much no weapon to use for defence and yet, you fought, you clawed your way to victory, you killed them three as a non-ranker. There's no one, no one on Rheat who can claim to have done what you did. So then, what if you begged? What if you pleaded for your life? It's only natural that you would do so, you were only 10". Salvatore stared at me as he spoke, I didn't even have to look at him as he spoke, with my ungodly ability to perceive my surroundings, I could feel his eyes on me whilst he spoke words to make me feel better.

"You where thirteen Salvatore, yet you held your own better than I did, you drew first blood for Saints sake, three went down before anyone else could react and for all my excitement, I begged!" My tone was a harsh whisper that ended in a half shout. I was shivering with rage and shame at this point, my eyes misty with unshed tears as I balled my hands in a fist. I was looking at him now, I could see his eyes, they spoke of pain and hurt, for me, it made me feel even worse.

"Edel, father begun training me from when I was six, every day and without fail, he beat the act of self-defence into me. Three years of constant ache and pain and another three years to learn how to inflict said pain on others. Edel, I'd be very dead without it and without a single kill to my name surely, and yet, you had three. Again, so what if you begged? There's none who would dare hold it against you, none".

I threw myself at him and broke down crying, all the emotions I was unwilling to deal with, the thoughts, the memories, and everything else about my new life that had threatened to drown me all day came crashing out in a waterfall of tears. At the end of the day, I was but a child still, untrained and in no way battle hardened and prepared for the harshness of all that I had been put through, the fact that I had held on this long before I broke down in a fit of tears was quite admirable.

When sleep claimed me back to it domain, I knew not, I had pretty much cried myself to sleep that night whilst I clung to Salvatore like my life depended on it.


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