My heart beats faster than usual. I stared at the mirror and tucked the sides of my hair behind my ear. I got out of the car afterwards.
The wedding song playing inside the church can be heard from the outside. It gets louder as I go nearer. Today is the day.
I entered the church and sat on the last row where no one would notice me. Minutes passed and the entourage began. I smiled as I saw tears falling from Kean's eyes. He must be that happy in his wedding. He rarely cries.
I stared at the woman walking down the aisle in her wedding gown. That should be me. I should be that woman. I should be the one who will be pronounced as his wife. We were close to achieving our dreams. We were close to achieving the thing that I didn't get to experience, the thing that he promised.
Family.
But he cheated.
Kean held her hand as they faced the priest. I felt my tears falling from my eyes.
"You might want to step out now." Zandro said as he gave me his handkerchief.
"I'll go with you to Spain." I said while sobbing. He smiled at me as he ushered me towards the exit.
"Congratulations Graduates of Batch 2019- 2020!" the host announced as students and parents hugged each other.
"Congratulations, dear," mommy said as she kissed my cheeks while handing me a bouquet of red rose.
"Thank you, mommy," I said then I kissed her cheeks. We became distant with each other after what happened to our family.
"Oh, dad!" I shouted pointing at the entrance of the auditorium when I saw daddy walking towards us.
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend the graduation proper. The traffic was heavy," he then gave a small smile to mommy. She just nodded as a response then she faced me.
"I should go now. I have pending cases left in the office." she said, refusing to give a look to daddy.
"Mom, dad, let's take a picture," I held mommy's hand to stop her from walking.
"Kylie," dad called in a warning tone.
"Please. Just this once," I asked the both of them and fortunately, they both agreed. However, the atmosphere is too awkward. We took photos which can not be called a family picture since we stopped being a family years ago.
"I need to go now," mommy said as she walks towards the exit.
We just watched her back and when we can no longer see her, dad spoke.
"Where will you go after this?" he asked.
"I'll go straight to my condo daddy. I have no other place to go,"
"Do you want to eat dinner with us later?" he asked looking sideways to avoid my gaze. I gave him an awkward smile. I am not sure if I will be able to eat with them.
I have already forgiven him for what he did to us but I'm not sure if I will be able to face them.
"Your Tita Lucy prepared something for you," he said with hesitation.
"Dad, I'm not sure if it's alright with mom," I answered. I appreciate Tita Lucy reaching out to me but I need to think of mom's feelings.
"I'm sure your mom has moved on,"
Dad cheated on us with Tita Lucy. I don't know how to call it. He had a child first with Tita Lucy before I was conceived.
What I only know is that my sibling is a year older than me. Daddy is cheating on my mommy, on us, throughout their marriage years but it was only four years ago when we found out.
This made my mom furious because she has been cheated on for more than 15 years. When he was asked why he cheated on my mom, his answer is that because mommy is always busy. She just passed the Bar Exam back then so she was struggling to find a job.
I'm drove my way to my condo unit. I'm sure Indira, my best friend, is celebrating with her family. Sometimes, I envy her. She has a complete and happy family while me, I don't know.
Daddy has a new family and mommy is always busy with her work so I don't know where to go.
My phone rang so I answered it quickly. It was Indira.
"Kylie!" I had to move my phone away from my ear because of her shout.
"Hey," I answered.
"Are you sure you don't want to come over? Mom is asking for you," she asked.
"I'm not sure Indira. Tita Lucy invited me to their house," I simply answered.
"Oh, does your mom know?" she asked with hesitation, afraid that she will poke a wound inside me.
"I'm not sure if I will tell her," I answered.
"Whatever happens, Kylie. I'm one call away,"
It feels good to have someone on your side during these times. She has been my best friend since elementary. She knows every thing about me. I even think she knows me more than I know myself.
"Thank you, Indira," she ended the call after because she is busy entertaining her guests.
I went to a nearby fastfood to order food. I am sure my batchmates have their families by their side during this important milestone in our lives while I am here, sitting inside my condo, with no one by my side.
I decided to sleep because it's just 2 in the afternoon. I woke up when I heard my phone vibrating. It's a text from daddy asking if I will be joining them for dinner.
Maybe I should not run away anymore. I should face this irreversible fact.
I agreed to go to their house since I won't be doing anything later and I have nowhere to go.
I took a bath and wore a white off- shoulder top paired with a blue high- waisted shorts. I drove towards their subdivision. The guard had to call my dad to give me access as a visitor to their subdivision because this is private and only the residents are allowed to enter. Well, I'm not a resident here so they need confirmation.
I wonder if my brother is there. I haven't seen him even once because he lives abroad.
I pressed the doorbell of their gate. I was greeted by a woman in a dress still wearing her apron.
"Kylie, I'm glad you came," she said as she hugged me. I don't know how will I react. This feels like I am betraying my mother by doing this. I just gave her a small smile as she ushered me inside.
"Your brother didn't come home," she said.
"Ah, I see," I don't even know how to answer!
When mommy found out about her and their child which is my sibling, four years ago, she kicked dad out of our house. We just found out that daddy and Tita Lucy are living together. This is the first time that I will talk to her so it's kind of awkward.
"Kylie, I'm glad you came," daddy said while fixing the button of his polo.
"Let me do it, honey," Tita Lucy walked towards Dad. I just saw myself smiling. During the time that mom and dad were living together up until my teenage years, I haven't seen them this close.
I'd like to believe that my father has a point on why he cheated on mom but no, cheating is cheating.
No excuses.
We sat on the dining table as the maids started to serve food.
"I personally cooked this caldereta. You're dad told me that it's your favorite food," she said as she put a serving on the plate.
Caldereta is my favorite food but only if it's cooked by mom.
I just smiled at her.
After the dinner, Dad walked towards me. "Do you want to drink tea?" When we were still living together, we were used to drinking tea after eating dinner. I nodded to him in response. When the tea was served on the table, Tita Lucy shouted.
"Honey! Honey! Your son is calling!" Daddy immediately stood up from his chair as soon as he heard her. He didn't even say good bye to me.
What am I supposed to do with this tea now? Will I drink these both? I knew it's a bad thing to go here. I just want to have a sense of belonging but I think I came to the wrong place. Maybe daddy didn't really see me as his daughter anymore.
I walked outside of the house without saying good bye to them because I don't want to interrupt them. I just found myself driving to a beach side. I always find peace by looking at the waves. I got my phone out of my pocket.
I was about to dial Indira's number but I don't want to bother her. I just dialled mommy's number.
"Mom-" I wasn't able to finish what I am about to say when she started speaking.
"Sorry Kylie, I'm doing something. I'll just call you back later,"
When she says later, it means never. I just sat on the ground. It would be better if I have a can of beer with me but I forgot to buy one earlier.
"Why is my life like this?" I asked the wind and the waves. It's as if they will give me an answer.
"I don't know," I quickly stood up when I heard a voice beside me.
"Oh, hello. I didn't know there's a person here,"
"It's alright. I don't own this beach," I didn't answer him. I just go back to silence while admiring the moon and the sea.
"Why are you here? Heartbreak? Family? No money?" he asked when minutes passed and I didn't talk.
"I don't experience heartbreak and I have lots of money," I paused as I faced him. "but I don't have a family," I continued.
"That's sad," he got a can of beer from the plastic as he handed it me. "Do you want some beer?" I accepted it because I really want to have a drink tonight.
I drank it in one go. I looked at him as he drinks from his can. I think he's 5' 9 in height. The sides of his hair sway with the wind and his jawline is very visible.
"Your stares might melt me," he said as he faced me.
"You wish," this is my first time drinking with a stranger so I will surely remember this because I value my firsts.
"How about you, why are you here?" I asked.
"She cheated." I just saw myself getting hurt with his answer. Why do they have to cheat? I mean, they can tell the other person if they no longer want to be in that relationship. Why do you have to resort to cheating?
"You can cry if you want," I said to comfort him.
"No. Men don't cry,"
"That is a social construct. Men are human beings. Your feelings are valid. Here," I said as I patted my shoulder. I don't know if I'm doing this right but at least I'm giving it a try.
"She what?" I asked because I can't believe what he just told me. "She cheated on you with his workmate?" He nodded as a response. "Workmates don't date," I continued.
"Have you ever got cheated on?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered while nodding. "My father is a cheater," he was taken aback by my answer.
"I'm sorry to hear that,"
"No, it's okay, He actually blames my mommy for being busy,"
"Typical characteristic of them. Blaming the other party,"
"Yeah," we just sat there in silence as we listened to the waves touching the shore.
When it was already 12 midnight, I decided to go home.
"I'll go now," I said while standing up. He also stood up.
"Already?" he asked.
"It's 12 midnight. You should go home too," then I started walking away.
"Will I see you again?" he asked. I turned around and gave him a small smile.
"If the universe permits us to meet again, we will surely meet again, just like how the waves go back to the shore," I said. He kept his hands inside the pocket of his jeans.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"I'm Kylie, and you are?"
"Kean."
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