章 47: XLVI
"Li Suo… can you discipline me?"
"...?" She raised an eyebrow.
All the animals in his Inner World seemed to cease moving, turning to him. Only the insects kept up their buzzing sound… allowing it to sink in.
"Okay, that does sound a little bit mad…" Rokas chuckled, shaking his head. "What I meant to say was can you help me with my focus in training? I was certain someone as wise and dedicated as you can have plenty of answers."
"Discipline comes from within." Li Suo replied, tilting her head slightly. "It means withdrawing yourself from distractions and even pleasures to achieve something you would not otherwise. The most disciplined individuals have complete control over themselves and the lives that they lead."
Rokas nodded, glancing away slightly. "I… have plenty of distractions, guilty pleasures and the like. One side of me knows I could be so much better while the other wishes to indulge in all the pleasures of the world with as little effort as possible."
"It isn't strange or unordinary, these desires. Gods have them too. Do you believe that I was born the way that I am?"
"I mean…" Rokas glanced around, stroking his chin in thought. In the end, he ended up looking her in the eyes. "The circumstances of your birth weren't ordinary, were they? The fact that your divine power is based around life itself and you possess a beyond kind heart… well, it all doesn't seem like a coincidence. Not to discredit you, of course."
"... Perhaps." Li Suo looked away for a moment, nodding. "And yet… I've known anger. The sort of anger that leads to destruction and death. I've lost friends, allies, those who believed in me… to devils, most of all. I've almost lost my life to them."
"And yet… you want peace between their successors. You want to see the 'dark' side of the Universe to prosper alongside the light." Rokas added, raising an eyebrow. "That…"
"That… is the point I am making, Rokas." Li Suo looked him in the eyes, her emerald gaze staring into his very soul. "Discipline. Control over oneself. If I fell into the same wheel of conflict and death, would it not spin for all of eternity? We must be better than that."
'We…'
"If you truly wish to embody my ambition and ensure its fruition, you need to change as well. For how will you change the world and bring peace to all of its people if you can't change yourself? It begins here…" Li Suo closed the gap between them, pointing her finger at his chest. "Here… and nowhere else. The very fate of the entire universe lies in your hands."
"... I know. I've always known that." Rokas nodded, grabbing her finger and putting it down. "I want to change, I really do. I know I'm not perfect and I never will be. Hell, I don't ever intend to be perfect because it's impossible. However… I want to be the finest version of myself possible. To achieve that, I need discipline. That's why I asked you… the woman whom I admire most. I want you to guide me, like you said you would, Li Suo."
"Lead me to the light… enlighten me with your endless wisdom."
[System: You may as well bend over and kiss her feet.]
'I need a humble pie straight in the face, honestly… those feet would be more of a blessing, besides that.'
[System: Nah, g, they stink like grass, rocks, sand, mud and shit mixed all together.]
'Right.'
"As I said, it comes from within. Alas… you are correct. Words enough are not enough to set you on the right path." Li Suo turned away from him, stepping forward. "Sit down and start to meditate."
"... Alright."
Rokas nodded and did as she bid. Getting into a state of meditation was as easy as breathing at this point (it mostly was just that anyway). He took in all the fresh, heavenly energy around him. His Inner World was no slouch in terms of an environment for cultivation… it was among the best, if not the best. The best part was that it grew with all the energy that he consumed and recovered anything that was lost. It was… boundless, almost.
"Your breathing alone says much about your state of mind. Determined… yet your heart beats still with confusion, uncertainty, regret and disappointment. There is anger there, too. Anger aimed towards yourself most of all."
"I wouldn't want to change if I loved myself." Rokas replied, shaking his head. 'Guess I'm in a therapy session now. Can't say I don't need it.'
"What is it, other than discipline and control? What is it that you despise about yourself most?" Li Suo questioned.
"After my laziness, it would be my powerlessness. My ego, after that… the more I think about it, the more it has consumed me. It keeps being fed, either by myself or those around me. I've grown so blind to it. I just… think that I'm better than everyone else, unconsciously. Or it seems like I am. This ego makes me believe that I'm always right, that it's everyone else's fault if something goes wrong and makes me treat everyone around me worse. I… lack accountability, I'm extremely selfish, a liar, a cheater… I'm just a dickhead, plain and simple. That's what it seems like to me and this realization is eating me from the inside, bit by bit. I keep asking myself… when was the last time I achieved something genuinely good, outside of my own interests? It seems like never."
"It's not all about me, I have a daughter which makes it all the worse. How can I be a good role model if behind the mask is such a person?"
"..." Li Suo waited for me to finish, turning only when I was finished. "What happened in the past can never be changed. However… it is the finest way of learning. You've made mistakes and even admitted to many, if not all of your faults. The path forward is clear, is it not? Though, I must say, you are too hard on yourself."
"No… I-"
"No matter what you do, do not ever kill your own confidence. In truth, to achieve what you intend to, you need that ego. You need to truly believe that you are better… how else will you challenge the Universe's ways?"
Rokas raised an eyebrow. "It's a good thing?"
"Yes. You are the complete inheritor of a Creation God and so many other True Gods, making you one of a kind. No one else has your potential… so why pretend that you are inferior? It will only hinder your future. Though… the negatives of that ego should be controlled. You understand, don't you?"
"I think I got an idea, yeah." Rokas nodded, taking a deep breath. "Sort of. Have an ego but don't be a dickhead about it?"
"I suppose that's one way of putting it. The balance is of rather paramount importance… but tricky to find." Li Suo nodded, tilting her head. "Change does not come at a flick of the fingers, however. There are steps to it… gradual ones. It takes time and effort on your end."
"The first step is being freed from the shackles of the past. Remove yourself of the confusion and disappointment of the past… gain clarity over yourself."
Rokas closed his eyes and did his best to dispel the clouded thoughts in his head. As he did so, Li Suo tapped his forehead and a manual appeared in his mind.
[Divine Heart of Gold Art attained.]
"Use this manual as a guide to your journey."
~
Rokas did as he promised, showing his draconic nature to the whole world. This made Long Yinping more proud of who she was and no longer fear her dragon side. She embraced it completely, even. She flew around with her wings more often than not. As a father, he couldn't be more happy to see her smile, be proud of her lineage and have no fears regarding it. Being a dragon was cool as fuck… after all.
As he cultivated the Divine Heart of Gold Art, he found himself having a more positive outlook on things. Less worries clouded his mind and he was generally calmer, more focused. Though, to advance in it, he needed to take bigger steps in his 'enlightenment'.
So, he went out to do some good with his supreme power. The first stop was the Floating Cloud City. The only time he had gone there was years ago… to snag all the crystals and nothing more. Partly because he had a slight grudge against the Ancestral Goddess.
However, he was long past that.
He went out alongside Cang Yue and Long Yinping, treating it as a day out with the family. He wore a plain, casual, set of white-black Adidas shirt and shorts with Kobe 6 Grinches for shoes. Long Yinping wanted a pair of sneakers too so he gave her the reversed pair which was primarily red instead of green.
[System: Perfect shoes for you.]
'I know, right? I usually don't like the color green but these are too fresh.'
Cang Yue, meanwhile, was easily recognisable as the Blue Wind Imperial Princess due to her lavish dress and compelling beauty. In turn, Rokas was also recognised as the Lord Phoenix God… even in such a remote region. His fame was widespread like the clouds in the heavenly sky.
Even upon their unexpected arrival, the Xiao Clan's prominent figures gathered swiftly alongside the other notable individuals including the mayor.
"Never in my lifetime did I think that I would even have the opportunity to face the almighty, benevolent, Lord Phoenix God." Xiao Yunhai, the clan master, joyfully smiled from ear to ear. "You are welcome to see my humble Xiao Clan in its entirety, if you so wish. We would all be filled with joy to serve you as best as we can."
"Right…" Rokas nodded, not even bothering to pretend to smile. "Y'all got some peeps locked up in the back mountains?"
"Well…yes, we do. How does Lord Phoenix God know?"
"When you reach my level, you can read through mortal minds like open books." Rokas waffled a little, grinning. "I'd like to see them, those Xiao Clan members that you've locked up."
"Of course… though, may I ask why?"
"You don't need to know, my good sir." Rokas pat his shoulder. He glanced back at Cang Yue, turning to Long Yinping. "It would be best if it were just us going, I believe."
"It would be a pleasure to know the people of the Floating Cloud City better. I don't believe a person of royal status had ever walked here before." Cang Yue nodded.
"It will be arranged, your highness." The mayor smiled, lowering his head. "I believe a proper your is in order first."
"Go ahead."
"Don't cause too many issues, Yinping. Play nice." Rokas chuckled.
"I won't." She shook her head. "Maybe I'll make some friends here…"
"Let's go."
Xiao Yunhai and Rokas went to the back mountains at a rather slow pace. Rokas took his time, admiring the scenery. It wasn't anything mythical but it was peaceful… small, comfy. It gave the kind of sweet feeling you'd get visiting a starting village. Rokas was specific in regards to who he'd like to see and so, Xiao Yunhai led him straight to Xiao Lingxi and her father.
"Clan Master…" Xiao Lie's eyes widened as he saw light. He glanced at Rokas who had his arms behind his back.
"Would you free these two of any supposed crimes they may have made?"
"Well… certainly." Xiao Yunhai nodded. "Your word is the law here if you so wish."
"My word is law? I suppose so." Rokas stroked his chin. "I'd like to see you locked up for a good hundred years."
"What?-"
"You heard me." Rokas turned to him and effortlessly conjured a formation, sucking him into it and sealing the clan master away. "A person like you should not have any power."
"What… have I done to deserve your animosity, Lord Phoenix God? I beg you… I-"
"Doesn't this bring you back? Maybe you need to search deeper in your memories. Why is it that these people are locked up here in the first place… for how long?" Rokas questioned, tilting his head. "All because you wanted to see your son in the Xiao Sect. Heh, how low some people will go for a speck of opportunity. Throwing your own kin under the bus is pathetic. Though you did nothing to me directly, I consider this a fitting judgment for you and your crimes against the Xiao Clan."
"..."
Xiao Lie and Xiao Lingxi had looks of disbelief.
"As for you two, come with me. It's about time you had some fresh air."
~
Though he barely gave any explanations, the two were grateful for their freedom. Xiao Lie did not dare to be too suspicious considering what Rokas' status was. The Xiao Clan had to accept their clan master being named a criminal and thrown in jail indefinitely. As such, Xiao Lie was appointed the new Clan Master and Rokas gave him the resources needed to maintain that title.
Xiao Lingxi and Long Yinping seemed rather fond of each other, playing more often than not. Despite the underlying issues with the Ancestral Goddess, Rokas started to see her for the kind person that she was. Naive, too. She hardly had any experience compared to her canon self.
Her bright personality matched Yinping well… though Rokas did not intend to stay around for too long. Other places needed his attention.
"It's time we leave." Rokas stated, having a sip of Coca-Cola. "There are other places I'd like you to see."
"Why can't we stay here a little longer?" Long Yinping pouted, glancing at Lingxi. "I really like Miss Lingxi and if we leave, I don't know when I'll see her again."
"Well…sometimes, you have to make difficult decisions, hm?" Rokas bent a knee next to her, pressing her little nose with his index finger. "All the people you like can't always be around you. When you're all grown up and strong, you'll be able to go wherever you want and whenever without a worry. For now, daddy has very important duties and they can't be put to the side forever or else very terrible things will happen. Unless Lingxi wishes to be a maid, you'll have to wait to see her again."
Lingxi being a maid was almost a joke he put out there. He didn't believe it to be possible.
Long Yinping turned to Lingxi and widened her eyes into two undeniably cute, large azure puppy eyes… while putting her hands together.
'Please say no.' Rokas thought to himself. 'We do not want you.'
"Aww… you are too cute!" Lingxi's eyes glittered. "How could I say no?"
"Yay!"
Long Yinping jumped, turning to me. "That means we're all going together, right?"
Rokas scratched his hair, managing a smile. "I suppose so…"
'Kill me now… is she going to bring her father too? The 2-1 package is not something I want.'
Lingxi turned to me.
"Lord Phoenix God is truly kind and compassionate beyond words. I've been thinking about how I could possibly repay his kindness towards me and my father. I suppose… this would be the best way to do it. I will faithfully serve you and your great family as a maid for as long as you'd like."
'How come the one time I do something good it backfires like this?'
"I'm glad to hear that." Rokas smiled with 'joy'. 'Fuck the Ancestral Goddess. I bet the Mirror of Samsara thought this shit was funny.'
"We'll gladly welcome you." Cang Yue nodded.
[System: Good things happen to good people, ain't that right?]
'Shut up.'
~
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