章 49: Don't Give Up! I'll Save You...
"...You don't understand. You can't... No one can..." Reena said and covered her head with her both hands.
"Huh?"
"You...you don't even know what I felt all the time when I was like this. Even though I lied on the bed for past few years, like half-dead, I was awake all the time!"
She was clearly struggling.
"I was afraid of death all the time... Whenever I fall asleep I have nightmares. They were Brutal. Violent. Too Hurting... Depressing..."
A tear fall from her eye. Her voice was shaking.
"All the time I was afraid that if I fall asleep, I might not woke up again but at the same time I want to sleep cuz I was tired of everything, cuz I hope that i wouldn't be haunted by those nightmares anymore. No... Even now I hope that if I sleep, I might not... But that doesn't matter."
It was clear that she had suffered a lot. I was all due to that damn curse. It was the real power of that curse.
"I tried my best to stay awake, but in the end, when I sleep... I had those nightmares." She was trembling.
"But they were also somehow true, related to reality... I don't want to experience them even it just as a dream... or it might come true." A voice carving for help.
"I don't even know what I want! I don't want to fall a sleep, I don't want to rest on this bed but at the same time... I want to forget those cruel dreams, want to fall a sleep without any care of world, peacefully and carefree and have a beautiful dream."
She was confused.
I don't know what she saw due to curse. What type of dreams she had, what type of nightmares she suffered up until now.
"I... I, I even saw my loved one... d-die." It must have took much effort to come out of her mouth.
But, it was clear, that she must saw a side of harsh reality.
"They all fall... Died in my hands... My parents... Lucia... Brother Laren... Brother—" She overflowed with tears before she could end.
I thought of comforting her, but didn't cuz it will make it even worse.
"... Day after day, I prayed. Prayed to the God inside my heart, to end my suffering but until now I'm still afraid."
Due to curse, she didn't slept well during all this time.
One other common cause of depression is also the lack of sleep.
𝘐 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱.
𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘊𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦...
Normally, sleeping well gives a proper rest to your body both physical and mentally. It really helps in many cases, but, not all the time.
The time Reena was cursed, the time she fall asleep she suffered nightmares. She can help herself physically by having a proper rest with sleep but, due to nightmares...she wouldn't be able to get peace of mind. Her mind would not get a proper rest.
After that, she tired to keep awake as much as possible which caused even more strain on her mind by being awake. Slowly, her mind get weaker and weaker, she'll get depress.
Mind and body are connect to each other not just systematically. If you're mentally weak, it'll directly affect your physical health. Same goes for being physically weak. If your body is weak, no way you can train your mind.
You can take the example of a depressed person. They usually have bags under their eyes. You can also point out other things of their body but that's that.
"H-Hey... can you please kill me." Reena said while looking down.
Though I know it was normal due to curse, was still shocked.
"Do you really think I can do that?"
"Even if you can't... don't treat me. Don't waste your efforts on saving me."
𝘌𝘩, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭... 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.
I thought she would reply with a 𝙔𝙚𝙨.
Does she really think that I can't kill her? I mean, I can... I don't think there is any problem with that since she herself don't want to live.
"If you are afraid that my father and others, just tell them you tried your best but I couldn't make it. I'm sure they wouldn't blame you..."
H-Hey, why would I be afraid of anyone?! That's rude!
I kept that to myself though.
This girl, up until now, she tried her very best to fight. Just a while ago she was teasing me and was making jokes, though she was annoying, I understand it now.
I remember Lucia saying that Reena was a cheerful girl back when they were kids. Always making jokes, making everyone laugh with her acts.
She was trying to clam the situation little bit. She gave up long ago, it's just, she wanted to live. Since she know that it's her ending moments, she tried her best to strong, acting cheerful with a smile on her face, joking around acting like an idiot.
Even after knowing that there is still hope for her, she just want to gave up her life. This shows how hard the curse hit her will, and shattered it. All she know is that... she don't want to live anymore.
"I-I... I saw such horrible things that I'm afraid that it might come ture... Before that, I don't to live anymore."
"Heh, must be hard on you right?" I smiled.
"...Huh?" She looked up at me. I can see, her eyes. They were empty, lifeless. Dark like the space, empty like the void.
I put my hand on her head, caressing her I said,
"You don't have to gave up it's alright. What you saw was nothing but just a bad dream so it's alright. You have lived your life better then anyone else up until now so live on, everything will be fine..."
"B-But..." I hugged her before she could say anything, while caressing her head with my plam.
"I know you have struggled a lot, more then anyone else. But still, lived up until today. You must have knew long ago that it's impossible for you to be saved but you still didn't gave up. You lived up until now, not just because you are waiting for death but, in the hope. A Hope, that there might still be a way to save you..."
She kept herself shut in from outside world... But was still hoping that someone will come, and lend her a hand.
"Don't worry. Nothing is impossible, so don't gave up! You lived until with everything you have got. You were like this all the time and no one was there for you. You were all alone in the darkness, lonely, waiting waiting and waiting that maybe... maybe, someday, you can free yourself, step outside of this room, and enjoy your life with the fullest. So please, don't gave up..."
This kid, she have suffered a lot. I really pity on her. I don't know which God she prayed but he must be deaf.
"There are still a lot of things you haven't seen out there so don't give up just because of some stupid dreams."
Giving up because of some dreaming, she really is a child. You haven't saw what's the actually hardship the life is.
"You are strong. You were, and should stay strong like this always. So, don't give up. You haven't up until now and you shouldn't... God help those who help themselve. I will save you, have a faith in yourself. I am sure, you will definitely be freed from those horrible things..."
. . . . .
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