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71.42% A Fragile State of Mind (Revised) / Chapter 5: A Bittersweet End and a Curious Start

章 5: A Bittersweet End and a Curious Start

Once Kaneki had voiced his somewhat reluctant agreement, the younger blonde of the group, Jasper, gave the nod to his father and jogged off into the trees, with Edward following a moment later.

Kaneki raised an eyebrow. So, they can wander the woods alone, but I can't?

"Where are they going?" Kaneki asked.

"To start up my jeep," Emmett replied. "We have it parked back on the trails."

It wasn't cold enough to preheat your vehicle beforehand, so it made little sense to Kaneki, but he didn't speak on it. Emmett, meanwhile, was just glad that they decided to drive out there instead of running.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Kaneki began their walk in the direction the other two boys had taken. Carlisle took the lead, walking ahead of Kaneki and Emmett, who remained at Kaneki's side. The silence was tense. It was for Kaneki, anyway.

"So…have you been in America long?" Emmett asked, breaking the silence and making Kaneki jump slightly. He glanced at the larger male out of the corner of his eye.

"What makes you think I wasn't born here?"

Emmett sputtered. "I—Sorry, I didn't mean to assume—"

Before he could continue rambling, Kaneki interrupted him. "We moved to America two years ago. From Japan."

Carlisle snorts from ahead of them.

"Mean…" Emmett muttered. He silently hoped Kaneki was just being snippy because of the situation, not because he was always like that. "Are you and your family staying in Forks for a while?"

Emmett assumed they were settling in the town, considering they were opening a café. Kaneki shrugged, reaching a hand up to push a tree branch out of his way. Emmett's large, pale hand shot out so quickly that Kaneki barely saw him move, and he lifted the branch before Kaneki could even touch it.

Kaneki blinked, shooting Emmett a strange look, but continued walking. "The plan is to settle here officially. We've been moving around so much since getting to America."

"Well, if you'd like, my family and I could help you settle in. Show you guys around or something. We've been here for a year already."

"Do you normally volunteer your family's time without their consent?"

"Not often, but yes, sometimes," Carlisle mused.

"Hey!" Emmett exclaimed while Kaneki hummed in response. Kaneki neither denied nor accepted the offer Emmett had given.

Minutes later, the group of three was approaching the trail Emmett's Jeep was parked on, its headlights lighting up the path and the surrounding trees. Jasper exited the driver's side as they walked up, Emmett leading Kaneki to the back seat. Emmet went to help Kaneki into the Jeep as the vehicle was higher than most. Still, Kaneki was already pulling himself into it without difficulty. He did, however, seem to have trouble with the belt and off-road harness.

"Here, let me." *Emmett swatted Kaneki's hands away, taking the belts from him. He felt Kaneki tense when Emmett came close, and their bodies brushed against each other, but Kaneki didn't protest the help. Emmett's eyebrows furrowed despite his own body and mind reveling from the contact. Emmett tried not to dwell on the fact.

Kaneki clearly did not like being touched. Emmett quickly finished with the buckles, and making sure the harness was secure, he moved back.

"Thank you," Kaneki said quietly, making Emmett feel slightly better.

Emmett nodded. "No problem." Emmett shut the door and turned to Carlisle.

"I'm going to ride in the back. He doesn't seem to like physical contact, so I don't think having someone squashed in the middle is a good idea," Emmett told him in a quiet tone.

Carlisle nodded in understanding. "I'll keep some distance." Carlisle got into the back seat with Kaneki, leaning more towards the door, while Emmett hopped into the small trunk space where the cover was let down. Emmett would have liked to sit in the back seat with Kaneki, wanting to continue their conversation—no matter how one-sided it may be. But he didn't want to make the man any more uncomfortable and weirded out than he clearly already was.

With Emmett's instincts going off the rails, his impulsiveness worse than ever, the instantaneous attraction to Kaneki's scent, and the euphoric feeling from just touching Kaneki, there was no denying that this whole 'true mates' theory held a lot of ground. This was a lot more to handle than it had been with being mated to Rose. Rosalie, the situation more like, had been easier. When they had started their relationship, it had been shortly after Rosalie had saved him, and Carlisle changed Emmett. Accepting that vampires existed not only in fantasy had been rather easy to get used to when you 'wake up' as one. There were no complications when Rosalie and Emmett came together.

This was going to be an entirely different experience. Kaneki was human, which made this uncharted territory even more difficult. But Emmett had never backed down from a challenge before. If it all went the way it supposedly would, if Kaneki should want Emmett, he would have him.

The drive was relatively quiet, aside from Carlisle asking Kaneki if it would be all right if they dropped off Emmett, Edward, and Jasper at home since it was on the way. His wife was most likely still up waiting for them. He'd have one of them drive him home. Carlisle cut his eyes in Emmett's direction as he stated that.

Kaneki agreed just as they pulled off the forest trail onto the main road of the backwoods of Forks. It wasn't long before they pulled up in front of the house.

Esme, whom Edward had texted explaining the situation, stood out on the front steps in a night robe—playing the part. The Jeep parked in the driveway, and the four got out of the vehicle, Kaneki only getting out himself when Carlisle prompted him to. Jasper tossed Emmett his Jeep keys as Esme came down the steps, her eyes fixed on Kaneki. Mom mode was clearly activated.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" She asked. "Edward told me what happened. What on earth were you doing out there? That is no place for a child to be by themselves."

Kaneki's eye visibly twitched.

"He's twenty-four, Mom," Edward said as he passed her to go inside the house.

"Oh. Sorry, dear."

"It's fine," Kaneki dismissed.

Esme smiled, taking the young man before her, Emmett's supposed true mate. He was a very beautiful man, handsome. Under other circumstances, she would understand if Emmett already found himself smitten. Her eyes trailed down and back up, clicking her tongue slightly at Kaneki's dirty, disheveled clothes, frowning.

"Would you like to shower before we drive you back?" Esme asked. "I'm sure we can find something that could fit you."

Kaneki looked uncomfortable again. "I've already burdened you guys enough, and I wouldn't want to intrude further…"

"Nonsense. Come." Esme ushered the unsure-looking Kaneki towards the front door. He looked to the other three males of the family as if asking for help, but he found nothing other than amused smiles. He sighed.

"Alright." Kaneki followed Esme into the house.

"Where's Alice and Rose?" Carlisle asked his wife. Jasper excused himself to bed, leaving Emmett and his parents with Kaneki in the foyer.

"Bed," Esme replied. "Like you all should be." She gave them a stern glare before turning back to Kaneki. "You can use our guest bathroom. Let me show you where it is, and I'll get you some towels and fresh clothes."

The two disappeared up the stairs. Emmett stared after them before speaking. "I'm surprised you two weren't down here."

Alice and Rosalie appeared in the foyer in an instant at Emmett's words.

"Trust is, we wanted to be," Alice said. "But it would have been weird if we were all up waiting."

"We'll meet him officially another time," Rosalie added. "We didn't want to overwhelm him."

Rosalie peered at Emmett, tilting her head slightly. "So…is he 'it'?" She didn't need to elaborate.

Emmett sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

Rosalie smiled, though a sad glint remained in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her now ex-mate's shoulders. "It's alright," She whispered, feeling him wrap his arms around her waist tightly. "I'm glad you found him. What was he even doing out there?"

Emmett leaned back slightly from the embrace, pressing his forehead against Rose's. Emmett shrugged. "No clue. Said something about taking a walk." Emmett closed his eyes, his hands gently squeezing the sides of Rosalie's waist. "I'm going to miss you…"

Rosalie chuckled. "There will be nothing to miss. I'm not going anywhere, you know that. Who else will give you advice about dealing with this new situation?"

Emmett gave a huffed laugh, releasing his hold on Rosalie and stepping back. "I'm going to grab him some clothes," he said, kissing Rosalie's forehead briefly before heading for the stairs.

Esme was then coming down the stairs. "I already set some clothes out for him, Em. Some that Alice had bot for Jasper; they still had the tags on them."

Emmett nodded at his adoptive mother but still continued up the stairs to his and Rosalie's bedroom. He grabbed one of his hoodies and walked to the guest bedroom, laying it on top of the clothes Esme had placed, neatly folded, on the bed. He could hear the water running in the bathroom. When Emmett returned downstairs, the others had all migrated to the living room. He paused at the knowing looks he was receiving.

"Shut up," Emmett grumbled, leaning against one of the lounge chairs.

"You know full well that he won't fit any of your clothes properly," Carlisle commented.

"He won't fit Jasper's clothes either," Emmett argued. Carlisle just chuckled at him.

It was a strange battle for Emmett between his instincts and rational mind. He was finding it hard to find the balance he needed. Even now, Emmett was unsure, despite all the evidence and the blatant pull he felt towards Kaneki. The feeling of merely touching him, his intoxicating scent, it told a lot. It wasn't like the few singers Emmett had encountered over the years, having no desire to drink the man's blood. Quite the opposite, actually. Emmett wondered if Kaneki felt something on his end or if it wasn't possible to feel anything like Emmett could due to being a human. He would ask Carlisle about it sometime in the future.

The water turned off upstairs, and about ten minutes passed before footsteps descended the stairs. Alice and Rosalie stood up and went to sneak back upstairs. Alice flashed Emmett a thumbs up and a cheeky smile as they passed Emmett to go around to the kitchen.

Kaneki stepped into view of the living room, and Emmett couldn't help but stare a little. Jasper and Kaneki were somewhat similar in physical build, mostly muscle, but they were different in height. The clothes fit Kaneki enough to be seen as comfortable and purposefully baggy. The man had to roll up the pants legs a few times to walk without tripping. He was wearing Emmett's hoodie, practically drowning in it. The sleeves were pushed back to reveal his hands, which held his dirty clothes. His white hair wasn't completely dry, but Kaneki had clearly run a towel through it based on the messy way it lay.

 "Thank you for the clothes," Kaneki said, bowing his head towards them slightly. "And for allowing me to use your shower. I'll get them back to you once I get the chance."

Carlisle waved his hand at him. "Don't worry about it. It's no loss to us."

Emmett straightened up, his Jeep keys in hand. "I'll drive you back if that's okay with you. If not, I'm sure my dad can."

Kaneki visibly hesitated for a second, then nodded, muttering another 'thank you' to Esme and Carlisle before following Emmett back outside.

"Drive safe now," Esme called out to Emmett as they approached the Jeep, Kaneki getting into the passenger's seat.

"We aren't off-road, so we won't need the harness or anything," Emmett said to Kaneki as he settled behind the wheel. Kaneki clicked the regular seat belt into place.

"I'm sorry about earlier, by the way," Emmett continued as they pulled out of the driveway, and the large, fancy house disappeared amongst the thick wilderness. "I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. At all, actually."

"I'm just not fond of being touched if I don't initiate it or if I don't know it's coming." Kaneki wasn't going to say it was okay or acceptable, in no mood to try and reassure the other male.

Emmett nodded. "I get that. I didn't notice that until I was helping you with the harness. I'd be apologizing regardless, though."

"I appreciate that." Kaneki preferred to initiate physical contact himself, or at least know he would be touched beforehand, mainly when dealing with those outside his found family. Even with Touka and the others, Kaneki sometimes still flinched when touched unexpectedly. It was just reactionary. However, Kaneki had realized in the past hour or two that his usual aversion to physical contact was a contradicting mess in his head regarding the man behind the wheel. Perhaps it was the tingling sensation he'd experienced, that overwhelming feeling that ran all over his body. It could have probably been an after-effect of his mental episode, but Kaneki wasn't entirely sure. He wasn't about to test the theory, no matter his complicated feelings.

"I'm surprised you noticed at all, to be honest," Kaneki admitted.

Emmett glanced over at him, then back at the road. "You tensed up pretty bad."

Kaneki hummed, internally cringing. Had he always been that easy to read? Sure, Kaneki knew that he would sometimes show some physical reactions, but he hadn't thought they were that obvious. In the past, before Rize, Kaneki had been a person who wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions clear as day to anyone who may be watching. A naïve little college student, he had been.

But Kaneki was long past those times. He thought he had been. Kaneki had thought he had gotten a good grip on his reactions and how he responded to things and others. It wasn't good to be so open, especially to those on the outside. People would take advantage with little to no remorse; Kaneki had heard that the hard way.

Unconsciously, Kaneki ran his fingers back and forth across his wrist. He had healed to near perfection from his many past injuries, but some scars stubbornly remained with no fading. The scar across his stomach from his operation and the indention scars around his wrists and ankles from the shackles that had bound him to a chair in that torturous, checkered room. The shackle scars were the main reasons Kaneki wore long sleeves often or bracelets that hid them from sight. He didn't like being questioned about them.

"You okay?" Emmett asked. Kaneki's eyes cut over to him. Emmett's eyes shifted a couple of times from the road to Kaneki. He gestured towards him when Kaneki raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Your hand. You didn't pick up anything while in the woods, did you? Poison Ivy or something?"

Kaneki glanced down, noticing his involuntary movements. He quickly pulled down the hoodie sleeves to conceal his wrists from sight. "No, I didn't. I'm fine."

The hoodie, much more oversized than the pants and shirt Kaneki had been given, clearly belonged to Emmett. Kaneki had known that immediately when he picked it up. The male's scent was all over it, and he was the only member of the Cullen family that Kaneki had seen who would own clothing that size. Kaneki hadn't intended to wear the hoodie at first; the shirt that he had been given was already long—longer—sleeved, and it wasn't cold enough to need the extra layer.

Kaneki wasn't sure what made him change his mind, but after a rather confusing internal debate, Kaneki had found himself pulling the black material over his head. Maybe it was the scent itself. Emmett did, admittedly, smell nice. Kaneki could not explain it beyond that it was a sweet scent, and it calmed him to an extent.

"Are you sure? I don't know any place open this early, except maybe the hospital. If you need something for a rash, we could find you something."

"No, it's fine. I'm fine," Kaneki insisted. "Promise."

"If you're sure…"

The two fell into silence. They stopped at one of the town's red lights. Kaneki checked the time on the illuminated dashboard. It was thirty minutes past 5 a.m.

"So," Emmett spoke. "Your family, how are they? They must be worried about you, with you being out all night and stuff."

Kaneki sighed. "I'll certainly be hearing about it later. But they're doing okay, and they'll get over it."

"You guys bought the place next to the Newton's, right?"

"Yes. How'd you know?"

Emmett smirked. "It is a small town. Word travels, even when hardly anyone is around during the summers. Forks doesn't get a lot of newcomers. My family and I were the most recent." They turned onto the main road of the town, Forks High School in sight up ahead. "What are you guys going to set up?"

"A café, coffee place."

"Nice. I'm surprised no one's thought of that before. Most we have here to compare is the diner."

"Touka, she used to work for a café back home in Japan. She's always wanted to open her own one day," Kaneki said. Kaneki missed the way Emmett's fingers tightened slightly around the steering wheel, twitching.

"That your girlfriend, or wife, or something?" Emmett asked, sounding casual though a bit strained.

Kaneki shook his head. "No, nothing like that. She is like an older sister despite being a few years younger than me."

"Ah…okay."

Forks' streets were empty and quiet in the early hours, and a moment later, the Jeep pulled into the parking lot of the soon-to-be café. The shades of the downstairs windows were drawn closed, as were the ones upstairs. Kaneki couldn't tell if anyone was up and about. He muttered a curse, unfastening his seatbelt as Emmett put the Jeep in park.

"Thanks for the ride," Kaneki said as he moved to step out of the vehicle, tilting his head down at Emmett.

"No problem."

Kaneki paused as he glanced back up, catching Emmett staring at him with a curious expression. "What?"

Emmett blinked as if pulled from a daze, then cleared his voice. "Sorry, um…is that a normal thing where you're from? The whole bowing your head thing?"

Kaneki's lips twitched upwards a bit. "It's a way of greeting someone or showing thanks," he explained.

"Oh, okay. That makes sense," Emmett nodded, mentally filing that information away. "Also, before you go, could I get your number, maybe?"

"For?" Kaneki wasn't all that interesting; not enough for anyone outside his family and those back in Japan to want to keep in contact with him. And Kaneki had figured that he'd made a weird enough impression on Emmett and the other Cullens not to warrant any further contact aside from Kaneki returning the clothes he was borrowing in the future.

"Well, you are new to town, and I assume you don't know many people yet. It might be nice to have contact if you, or your family, need a helping hand or something."

Kaneki sighed. "Fine." He held his hand out to Emmett for something to write on or for his phone. He got the phone. It looked to be one of the latest models out. That wasn't surprising; the Cullens seemed like a very well-off family. Kaneki created a new contact and put in his number, as well as his name, before handing Emmett his phone back.

"Thanks again," Kaneki said, stepping back, shutting the Jeep door, and walking towards the building. Unlocking the door, Kaneki peeked over his shoulder. He couldn't make out Emmett very well due to the bright headlights. He was probably waiting for Kaneki to get inside safely before leaving. It was oddly kind. Kaneki waved at Emmett as he stepped inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Kaneki leaned heavily against the door, sliding down to a sitting position on the floor. Well, this has been a long 24 hours… Kaneki wasn't sure what to make of most of the events of the past few hours, especially the human—maybe not—Cullen family.

Kaneki stood and pulled one of the shades in front of the window next to him to the side, peering out in time to see the Jeep and its headlights driving out of sight. His chest grew tight, and his heart sank. This made Kaneki growl nastily, eyes narrowing. What the fuck is wrong with me? 

He went upstairs, lost in thought, and nearly walked straight into Yomo, who stood right in front of the doorway at the top of the stairs. Kaneki took an abrupt step back, taking in his taller friend. His arms were crossed over his chest, and the disapproving and irritated look on Yomo's face made Kaneki swallow nervously. Kaneki suddenly felt like a child about to be punished for having his hand in the cookie jar.

"We were worried," Yomo said lowly. "Touka only just went to bed an hour ago when I told her I'd stay up to see when you decided to return."

"I'm sorry, Yomo, really," Kaneki said. "I didn't mean to be out all night or make you guys worry." Kaneki didn't know what else to say that wouldn't involve explaining the episode he'd suffered through.

Yomo exhaled heavily, gently taking Kaneki by the elbow and leading him to the couch in the living room area. He sat down next to the half-ghoul. "Hinami said you'd been acting strangely yesterday and that you took off."

Yomo's words trailed off briefly, eyes scanning Kaneki's form intently. "And when you finally come home, it's morning and in someone else's clothes."

Kaneki watched as Yomo's eyebrow arched up his forehead, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the strange tone of Yomo's voice. Then, realization dawned on him. Yomo thought—

"No," Kaneki said, his voice definitely not picking up in pitch at the unspoken accusation. "No, absolutely not. That—That's not what happened, or where I was—I would never, I—"

"Calm down," Yomo cut him off, rolling his eyes slightly. "I don't care what you do with your sex life." He ignored the choking noise of protest from Kaneki. "What I do care about was you disappearing without a word. You had them drop you off, I assume. You aren't normally so…trusting. Or reckless, at least since we left."

"I'm not," Kaneki huffed. He explained the events of the past few hours, leaving out his episode and hoping Yomo wouldn't question it too much under the other flow of information. Yomo sat back against the couch, silent as he took in what Kaneki was saying.

 "And you don't think they're human?" Yomo asked.

Kaneki shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know. They didn't smell like any human I've ever encountered or any ghoul."

"Do you think they could be a threat based on your interaction with them?"

Kaneki grimaced. Based on appearances, most would assume that Yomo was the standing 'Head of Household' in a sense, which, for the most part, is true. Yomo had taken on Yoshimura's previous role regarding Kaneki, Touka, and Hinami. Should anything require profound and impactful decision-making, they would turn to Yomo. But then there were instances like these where they would turn to Kaneki, pushing him into the position of a leader, where he would essentially have a big, or final, say. It always confused Kaneki when that happened.

"I don't think so," Kaneki said after a moment. "I mean, they had many opportunities to try and harm me, but they didn't. Aside from one of the sons there grabbing me, but…I don't think he was trying to attack or intimidate me."

" Please tell me you held back," Yomo chided with a sigh.

"Of course I did," Kaneki snapped weakly. "I doubt I even caused any damage with what I did let out. Guy was a fucking tank," he grumbled.

Yomo snorted. "At least we won't have to worry about an assault charge."

"It would be classified as self-defense."

"Regardless, as for now, I don't see any reason to do anything unless they obviously pose a threat. You said they seem fairly civil, so we will be the same." Yomo gives Kaneki a knowing look. "So, play nice, got it? Touka and Hinami like it here so far, and I'd hate for us to have to move again."

Kaneki didn't respond to that last bit. He wouldn't need to 'play nice.' He had no plans to interact with any of the Cullens unless necessary, like when he eventually returned the clothes he was wearing. The family of the members Kaneki had met seemed nice enough, if not a little weird. However, Kaneki wasn't going to be buddy-buddy with them or anything. He had no need to.

Yomo patted Kaneki on the knee and stood. "Go get some rest while you can. You're going to need it once the girls wake up. I'm heading to Port Angeles, then Seattle, to scout potential feeding grounds."

Kaneki remained on the couch, watching Yomo grab his coat and duffle bag from the hallway closet. "Be careful," he said.

"Always am," Yomo replied, then he disappeared downstairs, shutting the door behind him. The building fell silent again, and Kaneki slumped against the cushions for a few minutes. He eventually mustered up the energy to get up and retreat into his and Yomo's bedroom, where he shed the borrowed clothing in favor of his pajamas. He tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper beside his bed, setting the Cullens' clothes on top. He'd return them once he had the chance to do the laundry.

Kaneki shut the blinds to block out the steadily rising sun and crawled into bed, curling up on his side. He was exhausted, but his mind refused to shut down, and Kaneki couldn't decide whether that was a relieving fact or not. He'd hate to return to dreams with Rize and Yamori and whatever other nightmares conjured up. That was usually how it played out after an episode, especially one of that magnitude.

Kaneki tossed and turned for a good thirty minutes, then let out an irritated groan. Clearly, he wouldn't be getting any sleep; he couldn't calm himself enough. His eyes drifted around the room slowly, running his fingers over the point between his eyes before they fell on the hamper. More specifically, they landed on the hoodie, the black material lying over the side, halfway in the basket. Kaneki stared silently for a moment, unblinking as his mind spiraled in a wave of contemplation.

Finally, with a roll of his eyes, Kaneki sat up and reached out to gather the hoodie in his hands. Before he could start overthinking again, he pulled the hoodie back on and laid back down. Lying on his side again, Kaneki let the scent rolling off the hoodie surround him like a comforting barrier, and Kaneki's eyes widened slightly as, almost immediately, he felt himself calm. Why did he find it soothing?

Kaneki didn't have much time to think about it further as his eyes began to droop heavily, the scent slowly lulling him into a dreamless sleep.


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  • テキストの品質
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