章 21: Reminisce

Adam stared at the Shade, his expression unreadable. The Shade gazed into the distance, lost in his memories. Silence stretched between them, heavy and unbroken.

The air felt colder, the weight of the Shade's story settling in. Adam shifted, glancing at the Shade, who was still deep in thought. Neither of them spoke, both caught in their thoughts.

The Shade's eyes were distant, reliving the pain and loss. Adam waited, giving him the space he needed. The quiet stretched on, filled with unspoken words and shared sorrow.

Finally, Adam broke the silence. "What happened next?" he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

The Shade took a deep breath, his gaze slowly returning to the present. "We kept going," he said simply, his voice carrying the weight of years. "We had to. Little by little, we started picking up the pieces. The days were long and hard, each one a struggle to move forward. Eve was a ghost of her former self, but she pushed through, finding strength in the little things."

Adam nodded slowly, understanding the effort it took. The Shade continued, "We had to find a new normal. I focused on making sure we survived. Eve focused on keeping the family together. Aclima and Azura stepped up, helping out more, trying to fill the void Abel's death left behind."

There was a faint flicker of a smile on the Shade's face, though his eyes remained sad. "Azura, she was a tough one. She kept us going, kept us from falling apart completely. She'd make us laugh, even when there was nothing to laugh about."

Adam listened intently, seeing the resilience in the Shade's eyes. "And Cain?" he asked.

The Shade sighed deeply. "Cain was gone. He was lost to us, wandering, cursed by what he'd done. We never stopped praying for him, hoping he'd find his way back. But he was gone, in more ways than one."

Adam listened quietly, taking in every word. The Shade's voice softened as he continued, "That was our new normal. But we had a duty, Eve and I."

"Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

That was the Lord's command.

"You needed a son," Adam said softly.

The Shade nodded. "Yeah, we did. It was hard, but we had to keep going. For our family, for the future. So we prayed, and we worked, and we hoped. And in time, we were blessed again. Seth was born, and he brought light back into our lives"

The Shade looked at Adam with a nod, a hint of nostalgia softening his weathered features. "You know, sometimes when God creates certain people, he's showing off. That was Seth. The little bastard came into this world like a damn comet—bright, blazing, and leaving a trail of awe behind him."

He paused, reflecting on Seth's arrival with a mix of admiration and gruff humor. "Eve didn't even break a sweat bringing him into this fucked-up world. She held him in her arms, and it was like she was cradling hope itself. We looked at him, and I swear, it was like God himself was saying, 'Look what I can do.'"

Adam chuckled at the Shade's raw description. "Sounds like he made quite an entrance."

"Yeah, he was a mix of Abel's gentle heart and Cain's bullheadedness, but he had this fire in him," the Shade continued, his voice carrying the weight of paternal pride. His rough features softened momentarily, a rare vulnerability shining through the gruff exterior. "Seth... he was something else. Not just because he was our salvation after all that shit with Cain and Abel. No, he had a way about him."

The Shade paused, his gaze distant as he recalled the vivid memories. "Kid had a mouth like a sailor, but he'd cut through your bullshit like a knife through butter. You couldn't help but respect him for it. And then, just when you thought he was too damn blunt for his own good, he'd surprise you with a kindness that'd make even the hardest heart soften."

"He soothed the pain."

"He did. I mean...shit still fucked us up good, but...Yeah." the Shade muttered, his voice carrying the weight of years of sorrow and resilience. "After all the shit that tore us apart, Seth was like a balm on a raw wound. Didn't fix everything, no. Hell, there were days when it felt like we were drowning in grief, each of us struggling just to breathe. But Seth... he brought something different, something we hadn't felt in ages."

Adam listened intently, his curiosity piqued. "And your daughters? How did they react to Seth?"

The Shade's face softened as he recalled his daughters. His eyes lit up with fond memories. "Aclima and Azura? Oh, they fuckin' adored him. Aclima couldn't get enough of him, always fussing over Seth like he was the center of her fuckin' universe. She treated him like he was made of glass or some shit. And Azura... those two were like fuckin' partners in crime, sharin' a singular brain cell. They caused chaos wherever they went, like a goddamn tornado."

He chuckled deeply, a sense of pride and nostalgia coloring his voice. "They drove Aclima up the fuckin' wall sometimes, but she loved every fuckin' minute of it. Seth brought back a lightness to our lives, a sense of fuckin' family and belonging that we hadn't felt since... well since everything fell apart."

The Shade's gaze drifted momentarily, lost in thought, before refocusing on Adam. "We were a fuckin' family again, not just survivin' but livin'. Seth was the glue that held us the fuck together."

"Me and Eve..." The Shade's demeanor softened as he spoke of Eve. "We had our ups and downs, Blondie. After all the shit we went through, we held on tight to each other. She was my anchor, and I tried to be hers. Grief, it messes you up good."

He paused, his eyes distant as memories played out in his mind. "There were days when we barely spoke, lost in our own pain. But then there were moments... moments when we'd cling to each other like it was the only thing keeping us sane. We had our scars, Blondie. But love... She kept me going. Even when everything felt like it was falling apart, we held on. Don't get me wrong, the fucking sex was spectacular, but I guess...we just wanted to hold each other." the Shade barked out a hollow laugh.

Adam met the Shade's gaze with a sense of camaraderie, thankful that the Shade had opened up and shared these personal memories. In that moment, their connection went beyond mere words; Adam truly understood.

"So, yeah, man. That was life for a while." the Shade took a deep breath, his eyes distant as he continued. "After fifty years of wandering and settling, the kids were grown, strong, and capable. They could handle shit on their own, and it gave Eve and me some breathing room."

He paused, a hint of a smile touching his lips. "We decided to have more kids. It was different this time around. We were older, maybe a bit wiser. It wasn't easy, but we needed it. Eve was my rock through all that. After what happened with Cain and Abel, we were scared as hell, but we pushed through. Figured if we could survive that, we could survive anything."

The Shade leaned in, his eyes lighting up with pride as he animatedly recounted each child with colorful gestures.

"Jemuel, now that boy could charm the birds outta the damn trees," he grinned broadly, hands flicking through the air like playful sprites. "Elidad, quiet as a moonlit night, but sharp as fuck, like a fox's wit," he added, tracing invisible lines of cunning with his fingers.

"Ahira, fiery as a goddamn summer storm, could shake a room with her crying," he chuckled, hands mimicking the crackle of lightning. "Kesed, always with a question on his damn lips. Little shit kept putting me on the spot" he mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I knew that if I ever went to Hell it's because of all the bullshit I made up to answer his questions."

"Nebajoth, that wanderer couldn't keep his fuckin' feet still, always seeking the next great adventure. Poor Eve had to fucking tie him up one night cuz he kept fucking wandering at night." He laughed, his wrists coming together as if tied. "Zimran, the artist, saw beauty in every fuckin' thing, always with a stick in his hand drawing in the sand. "

"Ah, sweet Medan, had a healer's touch and a heart of fuckin' gold. She had a green thumb just like Cain had," he said, placing his hands gently together. "Midian, the strategist, master of the grand fuckin' design, always ten steps ahead, but only if it was about ditching his chores!"

"Ishbak, a dreamer with his head in the fuckin' clouds." he pointed skyward with a dreamy smile. "Shuah, steady as a damn mountain, the anchor in the storm, dependable through thick and thin," he clenched his fists firmly.

"Muppim and Huppim, they were like a pair of rowdy pups, always wrestling and causing a ruckus," he chuckled, gesturing with his hands to show their playful antics. "Ard, now he was a curious one, always poking his nose into places where it didn't belong," he said with a grin,

"Azriel and Arioch, they were like two peas in a pod, always pushing each other's limits, never backing down from a challenge," he grinned, illustrating their boldness with animated gestures. "Jarah and Farah, they had tongues sharp as swords. They looked fucking similar too, so they made it a game to confuse their siblings," he said with a playful twirl of his finger in the air.

Adam's eyes widened slightly as he listened intently to the Shade continuing to talk about his children. He realized with a mixture of surprise and amusement that the Shade was planning to describe each of his one hundred forty-four offspring. A small laugh escaped him, and he leaned forward with a genuine grin spreading across his face. If the Shade was going to share stories about them, Adam was determined to etch each name and description into his memory.

Adam spoke.

Adam listened.

From one father to another.

"After the children came the grandchildren. Seth's were the first: Enos and Enoch, with Azura and Aclima," the Shade recounted, a wistful grin spreading across his weathered face. "Before you knew it, our damn family was sprawling like a jungle. Sons and daughters started scatterin' like wild horses, obeyin' the Lord's command to spread out. Seth and his wives were the first to leave five hundred years after he was born."

"Where did they go?" Adam asked, cheek resting on his fist.

"Up north, near the Leviathan's territory... well, near where the Leviathan's territory was before Seth put it on a shirt," the Shade replied, chuckling. When he saw Adam's confused expression. "The big ass snake whose neck you broke."

Adam nodded, his eyes reflecting recognition. The gray serpent who tried to run away from him."And the rest of 'em?"

"Some stuck around," the Shade said, his voice carrying the weight of years. "Didn't wanna leave us alone in our twilight years. They tended to the homestead, keepin' our fires burnin' while the rest went off explorin'."

He paused, reminiscing about the bustling life they once had. "Grandkids, great-grandkids, and more," he gestured broadly. "Our family just kept growin'. I went from bein' a father to the damn All-Father, keepin' things together."

"Centuries went by," the Shade chuckled, his tone tinged with nostalgia. "Hung up my weapons, grew old and gray. Became a storyteller, teachin' the young'uns 'bout the Almighty, angels, and Eden. They were skeptical as fuck, of course. Angels hadn't been seen on Earth in ages." He shrugged casually. "Eve... she didn't say shit 'bout those days. After Eden and Cain, she wanted nothin' to do with 'em. Lookin' back, that was the first damn red flag."

Adam pressed him to explain.

"Remember when I told you 'bout the Almighty separatin' Roo from Eve?" the Shade began. "I said Eve was patched up without scrapin' her and startin' anew. I wasn't bullshittin'. Roo had dug her claws deep into Eve's soul. Even after they split, there was a remnant of it in her. Don't know if you ever noticed it—a small crimson jewel-like thing 'round here." The Shade pointed just below his sternum.

Adam tried to recall, but couldn't place it. At that time, he'd been too caught up in the chaos to notice such details. he was too focused on what wasn't there to actually see what was. "No, I can't remember."

"Well, that jewel was whatever residue of Roo stuck around. Couldn't be yanked out without killin' Eve," the Shade explained with a scowl. "It was there all along, the seal weakenin' bit by bit, and I didn't even realize."

The Shade paused, hanging his head in silence for a moment. "No, I didn't miss the signs. I pretended not to fuckin' see 'em. Over the years, as I grew weaker, Eve never lost her strength. She stopped spending time with the young ones. Used to love tellin' 'em stories, playin' games, then she just treating them like they didn't exist. Made excuses when her hair darkened—'Mine's goin' white too,' or when her eyes turned red—'Mine are losin' their bright color too.' when her radiant complexion dulled, her skin losing its glow. 'Just stress,' One excuse after another."

The Shade's gaze hardened, anger flaring briefly. "I lied to myself, Adam. Made excuses, turned a blind eye to every fuckin' clue until it was too late. 'Til my wife was no longer herself, but some twisted reflection of Roo. Because I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" the older man asked, his tone devoid of warmth or anger.

"Afraid of ruining it all again," the Shade admitted, shame bending his back forward. "Year after year, I kept getting weaker and weaker. My time was coming, and I was afraid. Afraid of Death. Afraid of going to Hell. Afraid of ending up like Abel. I was afraid of being alone again."

He looked at Adam, the pain in his eyes raw and unfiltered. "In the months leading to my death when I could barely move, stuck laying all the damn time, she... never left me. Clinging to my body like a damn koala. I fucking knew something was off. But I couldn't face it. The way she looked at me, it wasn't just love. It was something twisted with desire, hunger, and lust. It was Possessiveness. She didn't want to let go of me, and that....made me feel safer."

He let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow. "Ironic, isn't it? The very thing that should've scared the shit out of me made me feel secure. I was so desperate to hold onto her, to our life together, that I ignored the signs until my last breath."

"When I finally kicked the bucket, it was in her arms. She held me tight, whispering shit that should've felt like comfort but instead filled me with a deep, unsettling chill. I felt her grip tighten as my strength ebbed away. She never let go, even as I slipped away."

He paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "I died in her arms, feeling that twisted love, that possessiveness. It should've scared the hell out of me, but in those final moments, all I felt was a sad sort of relief. I closed my eyes, expecting darkness, but when I opened them again, I was in the Lord's embrace."

Adam's expression softened slightly, a hint of understanding in his eyes.

"In Heaven," the Shade said quietly, his voice almost reverent. "The pain, the fear, it all melted away. I was surrounded by light, warmth, and love—real love, not the twisted version I'd clung to. I was at peace, finally. But even in that peace, I couldn't forget. I couldn't forget the woman I'd loved and lost, the life I'd left behind, and the part of her that had been forever tainted by Roo."

The Shade's eyes flickered with old pain. "First thing I did was ask about Abel, but..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "The second thing was to ask about Roo. Told the Almighty everything, about how Eve had changed. The angels checked, though. The Seal was secure, no sign of a takeover in Eve's soul."

Adam looked at the Shade, confusion written across his features. "Then what was it?"

The Shade sighed, the weight of his memories pressing down on him. "It was her, Adam. It was all her. Eve was in full control of her actions." The Shade sighed, the weight of his memories pressing down on him. "It was her, Adam. It was all her. Eve was in full control of her actions. The relief and shame I felt at that moment damn near broke me. Shame for doubting her and relief that I hadn't fucked everything up by losing her."

"Except..." Adam asked, sensing the gravity of the revelation about to unfold.

"We were dead wrong," the Shade answered with a bitter chuckle, his tone tinged with regret and disbelief. He paused as if searching for the right words to convey the depth of his realization. "It wasn't her," he finally continued, shaking his head slightly. "It wasn't Eve."

"We figured it out later, after a shit-ton of thinkin'. See, Roo, she was the fuckin' opposite of God, you get me?" The Shade's voice held a mix of revelation and sadness. He glanced at Adam, his eyes showing the weight of his words. "Just like the Almighty could choose to show up or disappear, Roo, even if it was a much weaker fragment, had that power too."

The First man ran his hand through his hair in annoyance. What a messed up reality this was. "How did you find out?"

"A hundred years after I died, and the moment the Almighty disappeared again, that thing dropped the act," the Shade gritted out, his expression tightening with bitterness.

"It rampaged through Earth, sweeping from the southern reaches to the western lands, and then eastward, consuming every one of my descendants it found. Colony after colony fell to its relentless hunger until it reached the last remaining settlement in the north."

"Seth's,"

"Except Seth's." The Shade acknowledged with a solemn nod. "It was the biggest damn settlement around, nearly ten thousand souls,". "That thing wanted to suck up all the energy it could, so it came hard. No mercy."

He paused, his gaze distant as he recalled those dark days. "But it never got past the gates," he continued, a grim smirk touching his lips. "Seth met it head-on several kilometers away from home, all by himself."

Adam leaned in, intrigued by the Shade's intensity. "He was excepting it."

"Yep. Little shit wouldn't tell me how he knew, but..." the Shade recounted, his voice thick with a mix of pain and fierce pride "Seth stood his ground with nothing but a sword and a spear.

"And he held it off," Adam smiled.

"He sure as hell did," the Shade affirmed, his voice tinged with respect. "While we were up in Heaven clueless about what was going on, Seth fought that damn monster for seven days and nights. The whole fucking landscape changed."

"On the eighth day," the Shade continued, his eyes glinting with grim satisfaction, "Seth drove his broken sword through that beast's heart. It wasn't pretty, wasn't heroic. It was brutal and desperate. But it got the job done. The Abomination was weakened enough for his illusion to weaken, and the seal snatched it back to Hell. And Heaven received its second guest."

"Mutual kill," Adam murmured.

The Shade's smile widened, pride oozing from him. "He was the only death from that settlement. Told you that boy was fucking special"

"He made me pretty damn proud," the Shade continued, his voice thick with emotion. "But for the others, and Eve... it was too late. That thing got them. Seth's kids, his siblings who were there, they were safe. But Eve and the ones who were consumed... they were gone. Just like that, I lost almost all of my family because the fucking universe seems to have it out for me!"

The Shade's voice rose in anger, his face contorting with rage and grief. "What the fuck have I done to deserve this?" he yelled, jumping to his feet. He turned to Adam, eyes blazing. "Tell me! I was in fucking Heaven, so why the fuck do I keep losing?"

Adam remained silent, his eyes filled with a mixture of sympathy and sorrow.

The Shade's fists clenched at his sides, his body trembling. "I thought I'd finally found peace," he said, his voice cracking. "I thought my family would be safe. But no, the universe had other plans. It wasn't enough that I lost Abel, that I had to live with that guilt every fucking day. No, it had to take Eve and almost everyone else too. What kind of sick joke is this?"

He paced back and forth, the anger rolling off him in waves. "Seth did everything he could, fought like a damn hero, and he still couldn't save them all. So why instead of finally resting he had to break the news and console his shitty old man? How is that fair to him?!" The Shade raged.

"And me? I was up in Heaven, clueless, laughing like a fucking dumbass, thinking everything was fine. How the hell is that fair? How am I supposed to just accept that?!"

The Shade stopped and looked at Adam, his eyes filled with a desperate, burning need for answers. "Tell me, Blondie, since you apparently have all the fucking answers!" he said, his voice raw and broken. "Why do I keep losing everything? What did I do to deserve this endless pain!?"

"I don't know," Adam admitted, his voice low and full of regret. "I wish I had an answer for you."

The Shade let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Of course, you don't. No one does. That's the damn problem."

He scoffed and sat back down, running a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to continue, but his face contorted with rage. He jumped to his feet, his voice rising. "You know what? Fuck this! This is pointless. Why the fuck does it matter anyway? Why do you care?!"

His anger surged, and he started pacing back and forth, fists clenched. "Your job is to just go and fucking kill Lucifer and Lilith and those who fucking killed me, then fuck off back to the world or some shit. Do you think you understand? You think you can fix this?"

He whirled around, eyes blazing with fury. "I've lost everything! My family, my wife, my fucking life! And for what? So you can play hero and pretend like you know what the hell you're doing?"

He slammed his fist into the wall, the sound echoing through the room. "You don't know shit! You're just another pawn in this fucked-up game. You have no idea what it's like to watch everything you care about get ripped away from you, to feel so fucking helpless!"

He stepped closer to Adam, his face twisted with rage and pain. "You don't get to ask why, because there is no why! It's just one big, cruel joke, and we're the fucking punchline. So go ahead, do your job, kill them, and then get the hell out of my sight!"

The Shade's breathing was heavy, his chest heaving with the intensity of his emotions. He glared at Adam, daring him to say something, to challenge his fury.

Adam stood there, taking the full brunt of the Shade's fury without flinching. "Look," he said finally, his voice steady, "I don't know why this keeps happening to you. And you're right—I can't fully understand what you've been through. You've been dealt a shit hand, no doubt about it."

The Shade's eyes flashed with anger, but he didn't interrupt.

"I hate what you've done, and I don't think I would ever accept it but don't ever think for a moment that I don't care," Adam continued, his voice calm but firm, "because your story, your pain—it matters. Not just to you, but to me. To your children. You've been through hell, and I'm not here to belittle that or to pretend I understand it completely."

The Shade scoffed, unimpressed. "Yeah, right. Like you give a damn about my sob story."

Adam didn't flinch. "I do care. You think you're alone in this, but you're not. Your suffering isn't just yours. It's a part of all of us. We're all connected, whether we like it or not."

"You don't know shit about my suffering. You got your own cushy life." The Shade sneered, shaking his head.

"You've suffered more than I have. More than anyone should have. That is something I will admit readily."Adam shook his head, shoulders dropping. "But it's not about comparing pain. It's about recognizing it. You've lost so much, and I can't fix that. But I can listen. I can try to understand. And I can be here, with you, in this moment."

"You want me to kill Lucifer and Lilith? Fine. I'll do it," Adam declared, his voice firm as he stood facing his reflection."But what about you?" Adam continued. 'What happens after they're gone? What's left for you?"

The Shade looked at Adam, his eyes searching for any sign of insincerity. "Why...Why the hell would you care? What's in it for you?"

"I care...because someone has to," Adam said simply. He rose to his feet and approached the trembling Shade." Because you asked for help. Because you're human. Because we're both human, and my duty as a fellow man is to care about you."

Adam looked up at the Shade, despite the size difference between them, his arms reached for the Shade's shoulders. They shouldn't, but they did. The Shade stiffened as Adam's hands intertwined and brought him closer.

Adam hugged the Shade.

"And because, despite everything, there's still a part of me that believes in the goodness of humanity," Adam spoke softly, feeling the Shade's head on his shoulder. "I turned my back on a human once, thinking it was the right thing to do. Not a day went by when I didn't regret it. When I look at you, I see my son, Cain."

The Shade tried to break free from Adam's grasp and push him away. "So this is what it's all about? That's what I am to you, a fucking screw-up?"

"Do you consider your Cain to be a screw-up?" Adam countered.

The Shade's mouth snapped shut.

Exactly.

The two stayed like that, Adam's arms around the Shade in a rough embrace, despite the Shade's initial resistance. He stood there, tense and conflicted, while Adam held him with quiet strength. The tension in the Shade's body gradually eased, and he reluctantly relaxed into Adam's embrace.

"...this is so fucking gay." the Shade muttered.

Adam smiled. "Gay as in happy, right?"

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the Shade sighed heavily. "You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

Adam chuckled softly. "I get that a lot."

The Shade hesitated, then admitted quietly, "I don't know why you bother."

Adam tightened his grip slightly. "Because sometimes, even assholes like us need someone to give a damn."

After a several-minute pause, the Shade spoke up, his voice gruff yet tentative. "So ... want me to continue the story?"

Adam released his hold, allowing the Shade to settle back onto the ground. "Only if you want to," Adam replied gently.

The Shade glanced away, gathering his thoughts. He ran a hand through his hair, a habitual gesture that betrayed his anxiety. After a moment, he looked back at Adam, his expression guarded yet contemplative.

"Yeah, I guess I do," the Shade admitted grudgingly. "But don't expect any happy endings or shit like that."

Adam nodded understandingly. "I don't. Just tell it like it is."

The Shade exhaled heavily, as if steeling himself. "Alright then, here goes."

Again, Adam spoke.

And Adam listened.

From one human to another.

And through it all, a plan began to take shape in his mind.