章 13: Chapter 13
'It hurts! I-I-I don't want to die.. please don't leave me here! Please..' laying on the ground, the girl reached her small hand out. Her thoughts running wild looking at the blood all over the grass.
Her breathing unsteady while she looked at the boy standing over a mess of flesh. Looking at him turn his head to the sky. His purplish white hair blowing in the wind while his smile disappeared.
'I'm going to die like this? Like mother, koro, and akio? I'm all alone.. i couldn't do anything to help them and now i can't even help myself. It's my fault.. i fell for all his lies and let them die. I was too weak.. I couldn't even tell those things weren't them! They had killed them long ago.. why? Why?! Why?!! Am i so weak! So scared! I could just go meet them wherever it is we go.. then why don't i want to die! In the end.. i'm to weak to even accept dying..' inside the girls mind she beat herself down, the idea of being weak was born and the fear of dying consumed her. The only thing that remained was anger, anger for what she lost, anger for being to weak and the anger at being scared to die.
"Are you afraid?" While being dragged down into the black water of her unfocused mind, a voice reached her ears. It echoed out in each corner of her mind while she tried to find where the voice was coming from.
"Are you unwilling to die? Are you scared of it?" The girls eyes blurry while she reached out, trying to find something, anything to help her see clearly to know who it was that named her fears.
Feeling a hand touch her forehead, her arm latched on to it. Feeling the warmth that came off of their body. Feeling them gently rub her head and pull her close to them. Being pulled out of the black water a little from how gentle the person was with her. Unlike the worries, sadness and fear that threatened to swallow her.
"Please.. help me." The girls lips moved, scared to look back at the black water and only wanting to be free of this feeling in her heart.
"Not everything goes as planned. It is hard to accept one's short coming's and even harder to accept that there was truly nothing we could have done. You were to weak.. isn't that what you think?" The voice sounded soft, full of understanding for what the girl was going through while they rubbed their fingers through her hair.
The girl could only bite her lip, she knew she was weak that she couldn't save them. This only made her more angry as her breathing sped up. Pulling on the clothes of whoever was holding her.
"Are you afraid? Scared to die but unable to give up? I know those feelings weigh down on you." The voice asked again while the girl tried to turn her head away. Only to have it brought back to its original position by a hand.
"Y-ye-yes! I'm scared. Why? Why don't I want to die.. it was my fault.. all I wanted to do was make our lives better and save my mother. Instead of dying with them.. i'm here crying about not wanting to die.." the girl finally let out the feeling she knew she felt. Questioning all the things that had happened and pushing herself more into the water as she knew it was selfish.
"..you are stubborn.. that's good. Listen to me.. it is natural for all things to be scared to die.. to be scared of losing everything. It is even harder to accept that it makes us look so weak because of this.. listen, no matter your fears or worries there is always something born from them. Sadness can grow into happiness, weakness into strength, fear in to courage. Everything that has happened to you.. all of it has made you like this right now.. but hold on to that feeling, and let it wash over you. Trust me there is no growth with out pain.. if you are to live and move on you must expect it.." the voice spoke more, yet this time from the water below, the girl looked down at the water and listened but wouldn't move. The fear still creeping up into her heart about this night of hell.
"In the end.. it is up to you to let go. I can tell you this, the path you choose may seem hard but it is not.. for the time being. If you wish to die.. that is it. The pain will end and no longer will you need to think of what could have been. We all think it is the most painful thing to die.. yet this is not true. Through everything we have been through in our lives, the loss, the sorrow, the happiness, our pain, our weakness and even what makes up our very being. It is not truly painful to give them all up, to roll over and stop moving.. to just die.." the voice spoke words while tears fell from the girls eyes, each time it spoke the sea of black rippled. The girl knowing these feelings could all go away, this fear and the weakness started to lessen. She started to fade while feeling those bitter emotions move away from her heart more and more.
"That is a lie.. it is more painful to live, to push on even when your mind screams out, when your heart bleeds, when your at your end but you still try to get up. Even when your legs fail to support you. It is far more painful to live on, knowing if you just stood up.. if you just let yourself take that step forward, even into more pain. No matter how much it hurts.. If you are willing to stand up and keep moving.. that is what strength is.." The voice spoke its last words before going silent.
The words beat against the girls ear drums her heart a mess as the comfort of letting go called out. The more she thought the more she started to understand. Letting herself fall into that black water she felt it consume her and drag her under.
'In the end it is up to you.. whatever path you choose. It is easy to give up and die. It is painful to live on with the pain you fear so much.' The girl thought while she sank more and more. Watching images of the past come together of her family, looking at her mothers and siblings faces full of smiles. Smiling as she was dragged down more by the feelings that scared her.
"I don't! I don't want to let these go! These memories.. I refuse to let them go. I know it is selfish but I want to live.. to live not just for me but.. all of us." The girl spoke out into the never ending dark, a light pulsing at her chest as it pushed the darkness away.
The girls eyes shot open, breathing in hard as her lungs tried to pull in as much air as possible. Looking up to the moon while her eyes focused again. She blinked seeing the moons pretty blue glow and the strands of purplish white hair that hung over her face.
"Welcome back to the living.. that was a nice job. Not just anyone can get over that fear. Just like I thought, you are special." Gin spoke with a smile while he held the girl close to him, his hand rubbing through her hair while he opened his eyes.
"What are yo-you talking about!" The girl stuttered seeing gin's gentle smile and his pretty teal eyes. Pushing him a little as he moved back and stood up.
"Looks like you have your fight back.. good you'll need it. You'll come to understand my words later." Gin stood looking down at her as a smile came back to his face.
"What did you do to me? I thought I was.." the girl tried to speak only to get interrupted.
"Dead? Well you almost did die, but like I said your stubborn. I think that's your strength though.. i would have been disappointed if it turned out you didn't want to.. hm, never mind." Gin turned away talking to her while she leaned up.
"I didn't ask for you to save me! But.. but th-thank you.." the girl said, shaking her head as she tried to stop her cheeks from burning.
"Can I ask you.. what is your name." Gin hearing her act like this smiled more while moving away a little.
"Why would I tell you.. you just stabbed me.." still putting the wall up to hide her blushing she yelled a little. Watching him look back she turned her head away, not wanting to see his smile.
"That's fine to.. I won't force you to tell me. Still nameless girl I need a favor. That boy in the house, watch over him until he wakes up. When he does wake up, if he looks for me.. tell him to head north to the forest that borders the 79th district." Gin smiled looking back one more time, looking at her turn her head back to him he nodded to her.
"Why would I take care of him after everything that happened! Huh?! Why not just take him with you!" The girl turned her head to gins back fully and yelled out to him.
"Let's just say.. will be even. I saved you.. you save him. Ok? Nameless girl?" Gin walked slow and replied to her yells.
"It's not nameless girl! It's.. Hiyori! Hiyori Sarugaki! Ah! Fine but like you said were even now!" Hiyori yelled out as she saw his back move farther away, almost melting into the dark woods. Shaking her head when she couldn't deny he did save her.
"That's a pretty name.. we have a deal, Hiyori. Until we meet again." Gin waved his hand while he smiled more at who it was, even if it confused him a little.
"Pr-pre-pretty?! Uh, whatever. Umm, What's your name! You never told me?!" Hiyori's face blushed hearing him call her name pretty, standing up with great speed while closing her eyes to yell.
"Your a strange one.. huh, well I'm Gin. Listen, if you ever want to grow stronger one day. Come find me.. in the mean time. Take care of that new friend of yours, you'll need it one day." Finally disappearing in to the woods Gin's voice faded while Hiyori stood there.
'Gin Huh?.. I'll remember. I couldn't.. say it, but thank you.' Standing up Hiyori smiled finally seeing him leave as she thought to herself.
'But what did he mean by..' Hiyori thought on his last words while turning around, only to feel her foot step on something. Looking down to see a katana and sheath.
'A katana..?'
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