章 75: Training Towards Destruction
"As I guessed, it's really a guide for cultivating the mind…they call it 'psyche cultivation', and at a high level, it's the cultivation of 'psyche power'. At least the book also briefly explains how this path links to the other forms of cultivation and the differences, so- ah, I don't have time for this!"
Yaan leapt to his feet as he felt a pang of pain in his stomach. He knew that it wouldn't be long before these waves of pain became so intense that it could drive a grown man to suicide, just to alleviate the temporary suffering.
At first, Yaan naturally went to grab medicines which would reduce the pain, relax him, heal him, and so on, but he stopped himself.
He glanced at the booklet again, then gazed towards the strange scroll. He walked across and picked up each, before slowly walking around the table, using his power of will to ignore the now 256 fold stronger pain, as he carefully took certain resources. These were not the sort of resources that you would expect to use in this situation.
He previously considered just using the form tempering pill right now in the hope that the golden orb in his stomach might fuse with this additional pill and assist its effect. Unfortunately, after feeling the perfect fusion between the hardening organs pill and the golden orb, Yaan knew there was no room for any other fusion. The orb was releasing shockwaves of gold out through his body, but nothing else could be fused into it at this point.
Every ten seconds, the pain he experienced doubled. But at the same time, the rate of absorption also doubled, without effecting the near 100% efficiency!
Over 500 times the original pain. Yaan sat down shaking, he was able to feel his body trembling and his mind screaming for an end to this. He ignored it. Yaan had been forced by circumstance to become a ruthless individual, both to others, and to himself.
As the pain surpassed 1,000 fold, it was now at the strength of the worst pains he had felt from body cultivation in the past when he was young and his pain tolerance was lacking.
Yaan lifted up a black pill and, without hesitation, he swallowed it whole. The look in his eyes was crazed, driven to this extent both by the excruciating pain and the insane idea that arose within his mind after reading through the guide on psyche cultivation.
Yaan did not know the name of this pill, because he created it by extracting a severely terrific poison from his body in the 3rd trial and fusing it into a pill with force. Actually, Zue Yin had mentioned the name of this poison at some point, but his mind had been too focussed on trying to survive at that time, so he did not remember this.
He didn't know the exact identity of this poison, but he was familiar with its effects, and he knew all too well just how powerful it was. This black orb of toxicity was stronger than some Rank 5 poisons!
Were it not for that time a few days earlier when he tempered his meridians with the purple meridian poison, he would have never dared to attempt this. That process massively increased his resistance to poisons, so he was entirely confident in his survival.
Yaan used his astral power to quickly transfer the poison through his throat without burning his insides, then dropped it down, balancing on top of the golden orb. The golden orb had no reaction, but the golden shockwaves which were infused with organ hardening medicinal power came into contact with this poison continually. As the waves were released by the golden orb, they streamed directly into, across and past the black noxious poison.
The medicinal effect that nourished Yaan's body, was now filled with an unknown fatal poison with no known cure!
At some point, Yaan's entire body turned dark purple. Those astral tattoos which guided the poison into his stomach seemed to become damaged. They were forced to retreat into the one place that was free from poison and danger; Yaan's mind.
Normally, he wouldn't allow these weird demonic spirits into his very mind, because they made him feel suspicious, and letting anything into your mind was a huge danger. Even if they had been subdued by him, it was a risk since he still didn't understand this power fully.
But if Yaan was trying to avoid danger and pain, he wouldn't have swallowed that known noxious toxin, would he?
Despite agony racking him from all directions and from multiple sources, Yaan calmly threw back a handful of pills. Each and every one of these pills was a poison, a poison that directly targeted the internal organs!
See, Yaan had realised two key facts.
Firstly, the trio of accelerated agony pills only ceased in effect once all of the remaining medicinal power from the infused pills within the golden mist had beeen successfully absorbed into their target location. This suggested that the power contained within the golden orb was actually huge, far beyond what he had drawn out so far!
Yaan was resistant enough to poisons that these things would not be immediately fatal, if he deemed it necessary, recovery medicine would restore his condition. However, he believed that as the 12 different poisons assaulted his organs in an all out barrage of toxicity, that the golden mist would increase further, healing over the injuries and developing his body even further!
Yaan was betting it all on this…since the pill he combined with this trio was the Rank 3 organ hardening pill, then he was sure that the golden mist had fused with this medicinal energy which should be helping to refine his organs. Whether the organs were being built up and cultivated, or just hastily recovered from near fatal damage, did not make a difference to the golden mist!
As Yaan watched his internal scene play out exactly as he predicted, he released a hearty laugh. Whilst poisoning himself just because it wouldn't kill him might sound dumb, this was actually the nature of the body tempering path.
To destroy, and to reform. From destruction, a new creation is born. From the ashes of the damaged body, the newly formed flesh is refined with greater strength in order to adapt to the received damage!
However, there was another key motive for his actions, one which was perhaps even more important than the body tempering itself. That was, to temper his mind!
As the golden mist fought the poisons and restored the body, its duration of effect was substantially extended. And yet, even so, the pain and the effect were continuing to double every ten seconds!
But Yaan was far from done, he was far from feeling regret, because right now, he felt such an immense, overpowering sense of desire, resolution and ambition, that he could only continue walking forwards!
Yaan trembled uncontrollably as he placed the 4 paths scroll on the wall, low down such that he didn't need to crane his neck up to see it. He sat down on the floor, occasionally reading a passage from the booklet…
"Psyche cultivation…" Yaan muttered the simple name of the book. Almost everyone overlooked this for thousands of years in that 1st level pagoda. It looked like some old, dusty, overpriced cultivation technique, who would want it?
Well, Yaan would, because he always desired to learn about that which he didn't understand. By always searching for new knowledge, eventually you might come across something interesting.
Something like an entirely separate path of cultivation, barely even known to Foundation Step cultivators! A path that cultivated the mind! The mind's knowledge, the wisdom, the sentience, and the overall intelligence!
To cultivate one's own consciousness to such an absurd degree, that they became able to refine a unique power, 'psyche power', which existed within the consciousness and strengthened the mind itself.
At first, Yaan just wanted to use this opportunity, making use of the pain to stimulate the strength of his mind. But after he read the entire psyche cultivation guide, as the pain kicked in, then ramped up, building further and showing no signs of stopping, he felt something well up inside him.
The desire to push this opportunity further, to increase the pain he felt in this moment, so that he could properly temper his mind alongside his body!
After devouring these potentially fatal poisons, the desire to push it even further only increased ten fold!
Yaan looked around crazily, reaching out and grabbing individual, high strength pills, whenever a thought more crazed than the last struck him.
Looking at this objectively, Yaan's actions made no sense. He was risking his life to a fairly extreme degree, and for what? Seemingly, for no reason other than to inflict more suffering upon himself!
As Yaan stared at the pills in his hands, he heard a whooshing sound followed by a slamming of a door behind him…but he didn't care. Or rather, he hardly even noticed.
"Crazy, just wait-!"
The three individuals, each esteemed, revered and shrouded in mystery, all stared at Yaan with completely dumbfounded expressions. They wanted to reach out and stop him, if only to ask what the hell he was doing! This child had caught their attention in his last fight for multiple reasons, but now…
Was he trying to commit suicide?!
Because devouring that golden cloudy pill, soon followed by the calamity of insanity pill, could only be a suicide attempt, right?!
But for him to then drain back a full vial of a fluid they immediately identified as a complete vial of 108 chaotic drops of blood essence each from different entities….
And to then watch this mere child take out not one, not two, but a sack full of astral crystals…from which he actually retrieved 82 1-Star crystals, sliced his forehead open with a knife, then slammed all 82 crystals against the cut…?!
The three figures stared, all wearing dumbfounded expressions as the astral spirits stormed directly into the open wound. They didn't usually display this level of emotional range, but this was just…what did they just watch?
Was this just the weirdest, most obscure suicide ever devised…?
Because the chances of surviving any one of the insane acts this boy just showed them, was zero.
Yaan was unaware that he had company. He vaguely heard the door, but immediately stopped caring and forgot.
Whoosh!
Suddenly, a fourth figure appeared, The other figures all stepped backwards, showing respectful expressions towards the old man who seemed to be the only person present not overcome by shock.
Yaan actually noticed the old man and turned to him. His eyes were blood shot, but he still recognised this old man as the same spirit who sold him resources in the 1st level pagoda. Yaan gritted his teeth as he forced himself to look up, whilst blood was spurting out all around him. He was a mess. A dying mess.
"Don't you feel that you overdid it somewhat, just to obtain this one thing?" The old man asked softly. "You could very easily die…in fact, your survival would be a miracle at this point. Do you regret being so rash and acting before knowing the first thing about this path?"
Through gritted teeth, Yaan growled out a response. He wasn't trying to be rude, he was just struggling to speak or stand.
"No…I didn't overdo it…"
The four powerhouses stared at him doubtfully, watching him stand up with dazed expressions. He stumbled forwards, yet somehow, never fell. Yaan forced himself to look up through the pain, showing a ferocious expression that surprised those three…but in his eyes was something else, only noticed by the old man. When he saw this gaze, he trembled slightly for unknown reasons.
"My only regret…is that I didn't do enough!"
Yaan's words silenced everyone. As the old man stared at him for a moment, he had a thought.
'That look…master also had such a similar expression back then…'
With a wave of his hand, the old man dragged forth all of Yaan's scattered belongings, as well as Yaan himself. He held Yaan's wrist, took a step forwards, then they vanished from this place, leaving those other three behind silently.
Yaan's condition was rapidly worsening, he was quickly losing consciousness and it was taking every ounce of his willpower to persevere.
"I will give you a choice. Either, I can save you by undoing the self inflicted damage. Or…I can truly push you forwards, towards the limit that one must overcome, in order to step onto the path of psyche cultivation. In truth, I and anyone else with a modicum of sense would choose the former. Psyche cultivation is just another path, and a path that is far less arduous once you possess greater strength."
"The second choice!" Yaan almost yelled out, his eyes totally red and screaming as his body convulsed. Seemingly unhurried, the old man simply ask:
"Why?"
"Because I follow my own path! Because without risk, I cannot hope to become strong! Because…my experience of this world, has proven to me that nobody truly understands it…life, cultivation, the meaning of suffering…the reason we all step onto this path to chase after a grander tomorrow, even though the path behind us, around us and that beneath our feet has only ever been the same, barren road…what I want…is to unveil the truth…to find the answer to this lonely world…and I…I want to…"
The old man's eyes were growing brighter and brighter as Yaan spoke further. He slumped towards the end, but the old man leaned in and seriously listened to the end of his answer.
"…I want to understand…why is it that I continue to struggle so desperately…through a world so desolate as this…"
"You want to understand yourself, more-so than than the world around you?" The old man quietly asked, whilst pointing a finger at Yaan's forehead. A blue light shot out, making Yaan almost scream in misery. He gritted his teeth at the very last second and held it back though. Even in this delirious state, he did not want to show weakness to those around him.
"The world around me? Ka…ka…ka…" Yaan's laugh was dark and disjointed, surprising the old man as he showed his unhidden ridicule towards this question.
"This world is filled with countless people, countless places, countless times…I don't care to learn it all…everything in this world is filled with unavoidable webs of complexity…the people live their truth by embracing lies…whilst illusion is merely an alternative truth…when seeking truth, only understanding oneself matters…only the path of the self lacks all falsehood and doubt…"
Yaan was now rambling, collapsed on the floor but being forcibly kept alive by the strange old man. His eyes were shut and he spoke in slow, broken sentences. He was saying things that he had never said to others before now. No, truthfully, these words flowing out from Yaan's mouth, seemed to stem from his completely distorted and delirious mental state.
He was delirious right now, on the verge of death. He had clearly overestimated himself, or perhaps he just underestimated the danger of combining so many medicines together.
Since he left Heavenly Path Mountain, Yaan had developed the bad habit of combining many dangerous medicines together to stack the effects whilst tentatively stabilising one another. In the past, he always managed to pull through, but finally, he had truly pushed his body's tenacity too far.
The moment the old man removed his finger, Yaan would be done for.
At the same time, his survival relied on himself. His mind was a scrambled mess, but if he lost consciousness for half a second, his mind would collapse and he would surely die.
"The path of the self lacks falsehood and doubt, huh…it's not the first time I've heard someone say something like that. But what if there was someone whom's entire self was a falsehood, their existence a lie, their very own path laden with doubts and lies…a deception of the self..."
The old man was only muttering to himself, but Yaan still replied.
"If my path was ridden with lies, falsehood and doubts…I would just make a new path…" Yaan spoke, finally unable to hide the exhaustion from his voice. The old man's eyes widened before he smiled and chuckled.
'They really are too similar…I can't prove it right now, but regardless, on the chance that I am correct, I absolutely must help this child!' The old man thought to himself as he gazed down at Yaan.
'If this was truly only about training his mind, I would just heal him for being so stupid. However, he is…trying to resist his fate…'
A look of resolution crossed the old man's face, as if he had finally come to a decision. With a rapid flick of his wrist, he quickly dropped three pills into Yaan's mouth.
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