章 6: 'Things change..or not?'. Chapter 6
" It's been seven years... seven painful years my angel. I failed you. I failed to find you and tell you how sorry I am." He shut his eyes,taming his urge to cry yet another night but the tears insisted. The glass in his hand was as empty as his existence. Every single day and night was a futile tussle of conflict and sorrow for the man.
" Where are you? Are you happy my angel? Have you found someone to make you smile? Someone to cherish and love you? Do you belong to... someone else?" The words clogged in his throat. That was his worst fear. The one thing he dreaded every minute of every day for seven years.
" No...no... you can't be with someone else...I love you...I breathe for you...only you... You're mine...mine...mine..." In a moment of weakness he flinged the glass, scattering it to pieces.
He ruffled his hair , leaning forward, his forehead touching the huge window in his dingy room. His hot breath fogged the glass as his jittery fingers formed the word' Kookie'.
Even after so many years his love for Kookie hadn't diminished but had grown stronger and deeper. More powerful in a way that allowed him to keep living, hoping and dreaming. Awaiting the day he would finally face his angel.
The truth was his life had been a rollercoaster of emotions. He attended therapy for four years, battling to overcome his trauma, get over his fears and understand the reasons behind his derange actions. He had made significant progress with one exception. His fear for fire. His frequent panic attacks, a side affect of his trauma, nightmares and insomnia were troubling him till now and the doctor was forced to prescribe pills. However it wasn't working.
After graduation, he attended university, studying really hard and became a topper. He enlisted and for the last two years, since his mother retired,he had been the CEO of Kim Industries,a multi corporation company with head offices around the globe involved in Management, Advertising, Finance and Fashion. He had also established numerous organisations fighting against school bullying, cyber bullying, domestic violence, supporting children and their families. The least he could do to compensate for his inexcusable past.
His mother was always there to comfort him, give him strength and encouragement .It hadn't been easy to gain her trust. On the contrary she was a hard nut to crack!
Seojoon became his only friend. A valuable ally, a great listener and advisor. He had Kai to thank for that! Seojoon's lovely husband! Back in their school days, Kai was bullied by a bunch of idiots. The two cousins stepped up, saved him, punished the jerks and that was the beginning of a wonderful love story. They tied the knot two years ago and had a cute baby boy,who Taehyung absolutely adored, being his godfather.
All this time Taehyung never stopped searching for Kookie. Hired private investigators, begged Mrs Min to reveal his location but he fought a losing battle. She refused by telling him to give up and move on.
Taehyung wouldn't surrender. Retreat. Lose hope. He intended to locate him even if it was the last thing he would do before dying.
He stared at the silver frame in his hand with adoration. His long, slender fingers caressed the photo, leaving a soft kiss on it. " I miss you my angel... I'm yours for eternity..." Carefully he put the picture inside a unique, wooden, Chinese box, with tne name Kookie carved on top.
Closing his deep, ocean eyes,he tossed his head to the right , letting Kookie's image take over his mind. A gentle smile formed on his pink lips, feeling two warm hands wrapping around him.
" Mmmm...angel?" his voice a soft whimper filling the air.
" Taehyung."
The man got startled by hearing his name as if he had been electrocuted., recognising the voice.He unfolded the hands circling him, pushed the person aside , rotating and moving towards the closet. He securely hid the box in a small volt inside and closed the swing doors.
" I like the nickname!"
" What are you doing here? I thought you went home." he asked sternly, avoiding her gaze.
She stepped closer swinging her hips seductively. Her shiny, long hair were gracefully blowing from the light breeze , coming from the open window." Wanted to spent time with you. I hardly ever see you...Tae I'm your fiancé after all....By the way I like the nickname."
"Taehyung. My name is Taehyung not Tae." he corrected her blantly, walking out into the balcony, both hands stuffed in his pockets." Dinner was enough! Why on earth did you come to the family gathering uninvited?"
"Why are you always this cold and rude? I'm family."
He so wanted to rub to her face she wasn't but held back." Aecha you shouldn't be here. Please leave."
The woman left her handbag on the white sofa, following him outside. She hugged her arms,looking at the clear, midnight sky." It's such a beautiful night. It's a shame to enjoy it apart." She trailed her fingers along his shoulder but Taehyung pulled back." Should I get us some champagne?"
" Aecha you're making me uncomfortable."
" Why? We are two independent people with no obligations or responsibilities, offering comfort to each other. I don't see the reason we can't be more intimate."she complained, pouting. Taehyung 's stomach stirred. Acting cute was definitely not her thing.
Taehyung 's patience had reached its peak. Being kindhearted was one thing but a cheater was not an option. He loved Kookie and wouldn't be unfaithful." Our engagement serves only one purpose. To protect you from your in-laws and their threats. I promised your late husband to keep you safe. There can't be anything past that between us as I explained from the beginning. Don't make me regret it." His straightforward reply left her heartbroken, crashing her expectations once again.
Every attempt she made in gaining his affection or love ended in total failure. Aecha wasn't the type of woman to surrender easily, without a fight but that man was a stubborn mule. She wanted Taehyung, she would have him.
Her late husband, Sinwoo, his army buddy, died last year after battling cancer. His parents accused Aecha of ignoring her husband 's wishes regarding his treatment, leading to his death and spending his fortune on luxury. Mistreating , cheating on him and Sinwoo's parents turned her life into a living hell. Three attempts were made against her, forcing Taehyung to take actions in order to protect her, hoping his power and family name would impel them to leave her alone. Adding Taehyung 's need to redeem for his awful past ,led them to a fake engagement.
Up until now, their interactions were restricted only to social events. Living in separate houses, not sharing a bed, or any other form of intimacy, relieving the man from stupid marriage proposals, he regularly received,giving him time to continue searching for Kookie.
During the last six months her attitude towards him gradually changed. Her constant demands and absurd requests, her unexpected visits to his house or company, her desire for closeness was irritating him , wigging him out, making it impossible to keep his promise to Sinwoo.
" Give me a chance to make you forget your sorrow and bitter past. Whatever hurts you. Haunts you. We are compatible... can't you see?"
" Who told I want to forget? No...I need to remember and there's nothing in this world that can stop me !Don't assume or draw to conclusions." he threw at her, curbing his urge to slap her for daring to speculate. But he'd never raise a hand on anyone.
" I understand you're stressed. We'll talk about it later." Her insistence was intolerable, giving him a splitting headache so he snapped.
" We'll never...ever be together. My heart, soul, whole existence belongs to someone else. I have no wish to forget. I will be his till the day I die. I love him more than anything and will wait until he comes back to me! Don't insist or cross the line !" Taehyung growled, swifting and heading to the bathroom. He needed to wash away her touch immediately.
Aecha followed like a wildcat, clenching her fists. His confession brought rage and swath , ruining her plans. Taehyung in love with a man? Was he joking? She had no idea he was ...gay!
" Why didn't you tell me? I had every right to know! You are my fiancé! We are engaged and you confess your love for a man?" she snubbed in despair but detecting Taehyung's dour features , retreated scared of his reaction.
" My personal life is none of your business.! I have no obligation in revealing anything concerning my past. I love a man and will continue to love for the rest of my life! Once this arrangement is over we'll take our separate ways. And it's not negotiable! Don't force me to terminate our deal!"
Just as he was about to shut the door to her face, she grabbed his forearm and the man growled " WHAT NOW?"
" May I at least spend the night here? I hate the thought of returning to an empty apartment.!" She wanted to buy some time to think and reconsider her approach. No man or woman would steal Tae from her!
The man removed her hand from his arm. He knew it was very late for her to go home and had no choice but to concur.
" I'll ask a maid to prepare one of the guest rooms."
" No! Let me sleep here with you." she quickly suggested , smiling innocently.
" Impossible. It's either the guest room or your house." he replied, crashing her hopes.
" Think of the gossip among the stuff. What will they think If they understand we aren't sharing the same bed?" She said the silliest excuse because Taehyung didn't give a fuck!
" I don't share my bed with anyone except HIM! AND ONLY HIM!" he emphasized on purpose." I'll go to the guest room."
Before she could argue, he had already grabbed his clothes and fled.
Waiting patiently, making sure he was sound asleep, Aecha began snooping around to find something regarding the man , her rival in Taehyung 's heart.The volt was locked, she didn't have the combination so searching every inch of his bedroom was all that left. After a while, stacked under a pile of documents in his desk drawer, she came across a diary. Scowling with satisfaction, she opened the first page and the word ' Kookie' was written. She frowned.
" What kind of a name is Kookie? It sounds like a biscuit!" She grimaced in disgust ready to flip the page when noise and movement from the next room, haulted her. She hurriedly placed it back and laid under the covers.
Unable to sleep she kept pondering about her rival. Who was he? Why weren't together? Had Taehyung been rejected by the man he loved? If so, she had plenty of chances to gain his love and wipe that fool off his mind.
New York USA.
" KOOKIE!" Aera pratted excitedly, hopping like a bunny, her long waving in the air, throwing herself in her favourite uncle's arms, who gladly picked her up.
" Hey princess! How's my favourite niece?" He kissed her fluffy, pink cheeks and then pinched them.
The girl rolled her eyes cutely." I'm your only niece Kookie!"
" I forgot!" he answered dramatically, flinging his forehead." I've missed you so much!"
" Missed you too Kookie but..." She crossed her little arms on her chest." I'm also angry at you!"
Jungkook chuckled at the view of his darling princess being angry." Really? What has your Kookie done to make you angry, beautiful?"
They moved, sitting on the brown couch, stuffed with Aera's dolls and plushies,placing her gently on his lap.
" You forgot to take me with you to Hawaii! Left without me!"
Jungkook laughed and pinched her round nose." Sorry princess! It was a business trip not vacations. To make it up to you I brought so many presents." He winked mischievously.
" You're spoiling her, you know that, don't you?" Jimin sat next to them , hugging his younger brother." Welcome home!"
" Nice to be back!" He smiled seeing his hyung after a fortnight." I can spoil her as much as I want! She's my precious princess!"
" Exactly papa! Now give me my presents!" Ordering, whining and acting cute were three things the girl was a master at.
Jungkook swang his head towards the huge pile of bags near the small, round table and Aera rushed to open them.
" I swear this girl is sassier than me!" Jimin exclaimed, sighing, admiring his daughter, unwrapping the presents in a rush.
She looked a lot like Jimin and Yoongi. Long, light, brown hair in an oval face with big, chestnut eyes and full, pink lips. She was to die for! The moment she was born, held her in his arms and those eyes landed on him...it was love at first sight!
" More like an explosive combination of yours and papa's sassiness in an overdose!"
Both butst into loud laughter.
Jimin tapped his leg." So...how was the trip? Tiring?"
" If you consider the shootings took almost twelve hours every day, the guys dragging me for drinks afterwards, leaving me with only five hours of sleep ... I'd say it was. You have no idea how many beauty masks I had to use to bring my tired skin back to its dazzling form!But the agency and Klein are so pleased with me , they offered me an exclusive contract as their ambassador." He was beaming with enthusiasm watching his dream come true! He loved Calvin Klein's brand and working as their ambassador had him bouncing off the walls.
" That's wonderful! Congratulations bun! You've work so hard to succeed!" He hugged him again." You make me so proud! Wait till the others hear the news!"
" Thanks, hyung! Where is everyone?"
" Appa and papa at the hospital. Yoongi at the record company. "
" I guess I'll see them later."
" Hobi was starting to get impatient about your return!"
Jungkook laughed." I'll tell him his gorgeous husband was a perfect gentleman! Bogum hyung got on my nerves! All he thought about was his husband back home! Hobi this....Hobi that...Rhew! He's crazy over heels!"
" That's love!" Jimin exclaimed without thinking.
Aera came back, holding one of the dolls her uncle had brought her, a Hawaiian dancer.
" Kookie, how is Hawaii? Is it as big as New York?" the girl asked , fixing the doll's floral wreath.
" Not like N.Y but it's full of sandy beaches, warm sun, lots of volcanos and beautiful girls dancing with flowers on their heads ,like your doll." He stretched his arms and legs, feeling the weariness of the trip affecting him.
Aera jumped up excitedly." Wow! Can I dance too?"
" I can teach you. I'm a bit of an expert after so much wild dancing." He picked her up again, placing her between his legs , stroking her hair." Tell me what you did while I was gone."
Aera started bubbling nonstop about her new school, friends, teachers, her first award from a cooking competition.
" You've been busy, princess. So many things happened and I missed them." He pouted." Did you at least keep a cookie for me or are they all in your tummy?" He tickled her neck and belly and the girl was giggling.
" NO SILLY! It would... hurt my... tummy..." He kept giggling,trying to escape." I gave them to my friends!"
" No cookie for Kookie?" He pretended to cry, rubbing his eyes.
Aera turned around,hugged him then nazzled her head on his broad chest." Don't cry.... I'll make more for my Kookie!" she suggested and Jimin panicked.
" Hold it right there,young lady!" He raised his hand , stopping her." Your grandpa will start rapping again if he finds his kitchen erupted like a Hawaiian volcano!" The thought brought him chills.
" That bad?"
" An understatement! It was like a war zone! It nearly gave him a stroke. He lashed out on poor appa since scolding his princess wasn't an option and made us clean his kitchen until he could see the image of his worldwide handsome face on the counter and floor ,after thorough inspection!"
Jungkook 's face lit with a sparkling smile." Glad I was away! Stressing is bad for my skin!"
" And overconfidence is bad too!"
" Nothing wrong with that!" Flipping his imaginary hair ,he wiggled his shoulders." I saw where shyness got me!"
Jimin's face turned slightly serious, cupping his brother 's hand." I have a very handsome associate at the firm. Gay, rich,an absolute gentleman. Should I fix you up?" He wiggled his eyebrows smirking. Jungkook smelt trouble!
" He sounds like a catch... Thanks but I'll pass."
" How long are you going to continue this? It's been almost a year you broke up with Morgan. Time to move on. Go out, mingle, have fun, date, fall in love! " He leaned forward, whispering to his ear so that Aera won't hear ." Get some action...get laid!" Jimin found it ridiculous his brother was living like a monk, depriving himself from the pleasures of life! He deserved the best! One of the many reasons he insisted in fixing him up on blind dates with every gay guy he knew, despite Yoongi's objections. He always told him that a man would eventually find his way to his brother's heart and bed! Jimin couldn't wait that long! So he did what he knew best... Interfere.
Jungkook took sharp breaths , crossing his legs." Not 'the conversation' again, hyung." he protested." My life is my choice. You know very well Morgan has nothing to do with it. My work and studies is my focus at the moment. Besides I'm very content with my life. Don't need a man to distract me.!"
" Content not happy!" Jimin gave him a questioning look." Don't tell you still think about...him!"
"Jiminshi stop! Not a word!" He deliberately averted his gaze, looking at Aera, squatting on the thick carpet, playing with her new toys. Jimic could see right through him. Read him like an open book. Jungkook was too scared to deal with the terrifying truth of his emotions. After blocking them for many years he was accustomed to hiding them.
" Kim Jungkook if I suspect you still love that asshole, I'll spank your butt!" Jimin warned him, scrunching his lips.
" We have made this stupid conversation too many times. Stop pressuring me. Fixing me up on silly blind dates! Give me a break!" he begged his brother but Jimin insisted.
" If you're thinking about him... don't. Move on .. He's..."
" Engaged. I wasn't expecting anything different. It was stupid of me to love that jerk. It was pathetic. I have no illusions but I refuse to make two people miserable only to satisfy your wish to get me laid!"
" It hurts to see you alone, throwing away your chances to be happy. Time heals all wounds."
Jungkook huffed as he couldn't control his brother's stubbornness. He would insist till he managed to convince him to meet another boring man." Next person who tells me time heals all wounds I'm gonna run him over with my car and wait for him to heal!" he blurred out, puffing and stirring in his seat.
" Brat!"
" Love you too hyungie! But no more dates!" He stood up, grabbed his bags and went fo his room. After unpacking he indulged himself in a hot bath, soaking in the tub for half an hour,he returned to his room, naked. After drying his hair and body, stood in front of the mirror closely observing his features.
Kookie the ugly nerd was a shadow of the past. Jk was every man snd woman's fantasy. A famous model.
During the first year in N.Y, his parents insisted in receiving therapy and it took him a significant amount of time to get over his justified fear of intimacy and allow others to touch him. The next year he got an eye surgery and the thick glasses disappeared. He replaced all his teeth with porcelain ones and gained the perfect denture, allowing him to smile without fear.
He had a flawless skin complexion,with only a tiny scar on his left cheek,to remind him of the incident that changed his life. His rosy, plump lips were extremely kissable. But his most prominent feature was his jawline.
His involvement in martial arts, boxing and frequent visits to the gym ,molded his body.
Broad shoulders and chest, a six pack stomach that could kill and that damn feminine waist that made people drool. Mascular thighs in a perfect inverted triangle body.
The tattoos on his right shoulder and hand were an impulse to try something wild, out of the ordinary. His piercings on both ears and lip, the result of a drunken night and a lost bet with an ex boyfriend . His duality was exceptional !His commanding modeling presence contradicted his light-hearted off camera demeanor. A giant, Aera gave him the nickname, with an adorable, baby face.
For a significant amount of time he went wild! Partying, drinking, smoking flirting,burning up the dance floor. He knew his limits and how far he was willing to go. Jungkook was at the Pinch Hitter hadn't reached Touch Base yet! He didn't feel ready to take the next step. Have sex...at least for the time being.
Two years ago he met Morgan. A model at his old agency. They hit it right away. Handsome , thoughtful, gentle, charming ,graced with a hot body! Morgan was crazy about Jk and rather patient with his mood swings and restrictions.
The first time they kissed,on the ferry on Hudson river, after a romantic dinner date, Jungkook found it pleasant. Soft and tender as a light,summer breeze. He expected to see sparkling stars or fireworks feel that jittery stir in his stomach, that entices you, the one he hadn't experienced when kissing.He wanted fire! Flaming , blazing lava that burns your soul, body and makes you lose your sanity from desire.
He was happy at first. He tried so hard to fall in love. Enjoyed a ordinary, flat relationship. No fighting, shouting, disagreeing. He was treated like a prince!
But when Morgan asked him to have sex , he froze. A certain image, a ghost from his past flooded his vision and Jungkook realised that person,who haunted his life and dreams , had always been present. Denying him was futile.
Jungkook wanted to experience every aspect of a relationship with him.
With Taehyung.
Wanted to go on romantic dates. Hold hands. Kiss under the moonlight. Cuddle in bed under the covers. Go on trips to discover new places, gain lifetime experiences. Have passionate, rough, wild , unrestrained sex all night long. He hated that Tae occupied his mind and made his heart flutter instead of Morgan .
So he broke up and that was the kick off of his lonely life. He was better of alone than torture a poor guy he doesn't really like.
The news of Tae's engagement didn't surprise him. It was natural for him to continue his life in spite of the past. He got away scot-free from his assault and made a life for himself. As he should...
The one in love was Jungkook not Taehyung. He was completely oblivious to the younger 's feelings.
Jungkook ,shook his head, fend off the big mirror, grabbed his clothes,wore only his favourite black shorts and went straight to bed. Under the covers he finally closed his eyes and dreamt of the one an only he ever really wanted.
Kim Taehyung.
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