章 15: By Dusk (Eremika)
Fuhh... Here goes nothing... Now after you've read this do tell me your thoughts about the chapter just curious ngl. This chapter was ass I had to do so many alterations in it anyhow enjoy.
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The moon hung high, casting its pale, silken light over the field, brushing everything in a silvered glow, yet even that softness couldn't calm the weight in the air.
My pulse quickened, every beat loud and insistent as Eren stepped closer, his gaze locking onto mine with an intensity that pinned me in place.
His eyes searched mine, as if trying to uncover something hidden deep inside me—something I didn't even know was there.
Silence stretched between us, vast and endless, until his voice, low and uncertain, sliced through it, and my heart clenched. "Mikasa... why do you care so much about me?" His words seemed to hang in the air, sharp and unsteady, like a confession wrapped in doubt.
My face heated instantly, the warmth creeping across my cheeks as he turned fully toward me, his eyes now fixed on me, vulnerable and raw in a way I hadn't seen before.
But before I could gather my thoughts, before I could find any words, he continued, his voice softer this time, almost hesitant. "Is it because I saved you back then, when we were kids? Or is it just... because I'm family?"
A soft gasp escaped me, barely audible, caught off-guard by the weight of his question. His words lingered, leaving a hollow ache in their wake, and his gaze was unyielding, waiting—hoping, maybe—for an answer.
"What am I to you?" he asked quietly, the uncertainty in his voice cracking something inside me. His question sank into the silence, dissolving into the soft, distant chorus of owls and crickets singing in the night.
I could feel my face burn, a crimson warmth flooding my cheeks as I searched for a reply, something—anything—that could reach him in that moment. My lips parted, trembling with words that I wanted to say, needed to say, but then…
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"Who the hell are you to decide that for me? To decide who I marry? Huh Erwin...?"
"Then who, Eren? Mikasa Ackerman?"
"NO!"
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The memory flared vividly before my eyes—the day I felt that crushing truth, the realization that I… I was never meant for Eren. That someone like me could never deserve someone like him.
He was like a beautiful dream, fleeting yet unforgettable, weaving moments of light into my life. The times he saved me, his arms around me when I was shattered, vulnerable.
And this scarf—this simple piece of cloth that felt like his silent promise. Everything he ever gave me was all I could have ever asked for. And yet… my selfish heart wanted more.
A faint smile ghosted over my lips as my gaze found Eren again, standing there, shadows dancing across his face, his eyes filled with a sadness that pierced straight through me. "Eren… you're my fam…"
But before I could even finish, something cold and unrelenting coiled around my throat, tightening with a force that stole my breath. Panic surged through me as I struggled, choked gasps escaping my lips, but Eren… he just watched.
His expression stayed blank, almost as if he were somewhere else entirely. My vision blurred with tears, and I fought to reach him, but his face, his sadness, all of it seemed so painfully distant.
My hands clawed at my throat, but it was useless—there was nothing there, nothing I could grasp. In front of me, Eren stood, frozen, and yet the world itself felt as though it, too, had stilled.
Behind me, flames licked higher from the camp, casting a scorching glow across the frozen figures of refugees, locked in a moment that seemed to stretch into eternity.
"Don't..." A faint, haunting whisper broke through the night, laced with a heaviness that gripped my heart. "Don't say that... You have no idea... what your words will lead to, what this mistake would force him into.... He's so... so innconcet.... Just asking for so little... Just look at him. And... And look at you... Pathetic as always."
My eyes drifted up as the iron grip around my throat slackened. I choked, gasping for air as I looked up at her—a figure both familiar and foreign, her face wet with streaming tears that seemed to etch trails of sorrow down her cheeks. My gaze lowered, and then I saw it—her arms, trembling, wrapped tightly around something.
A silent gasp escaped me as I realized what she held. My vision blurred, boiling with tears as I took in the sight that shattered me in an instant: Eren's head, cradled gently in her hands.
My heart stopped, a dam of grief breaking open as I looked on, barely able to breathe. It felt like a dark dream, one where terror and sadness seeped into my bones.
The girl—no, the broken reflection of me—spoke, her voice fragile, cracking with a despair that shook me to the core. "Don't... please, don't say that... or you'll end up like me."
Her words were laced with a sorrow that felt ancient, and as she stepped toward me, I felt my knees weaken. She moved forward, inch by agonizing inch, carrying Eren's head like a cherished memory, mournful and irreplaceable, her every step soaked in regret.
I took a trembling step forward as well, my gaze locked onto hers, barely understanding what I was seeing or the depth of her agony. She stopped, looking down at my face handing me the cold yet peaceful Eren in my arms before slowly advancing towards (other) Eren.
Her fingers brushed softly over his cheeks, her lips pressing a tender, broken kiss to his skin. Her eyes shone with grief, her voice barely a whisper, lost in shattered hopes.
"I'm sorry... I couldn't understand what you wanted to hear..... I was scared..... Scared of rejection....I thought... we had more time, that I'd get the chance to say what I kept buried in my heart. But you knew we were running out of time that's why you asked… but... But I failed you. But.... But I promise you that it won't happen again... You're so cute... So frail... Yet so strong... Why?"
My chest tightened as I watched her crumble infront of my eyes , clutching Eren's head in her arms, my teary gaze shifted at my arms before shifting back to her form flickering as she began to dissolve into the air, taking his head with her.
The last thing she did was turn her gaze back to me, her broken eyes pleading with a desperation that felt endless. "Please, don't make my mistake…"
And then she was gone, vanishing into dust, leaving me behind—shaking, crying, and screaming, clawing at the emptiness where she had been.
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"Uh... That just now...?" The thought lingered, my mind scrambling as I looked around, searching, reality seeping into me until my gaze met Eren's. His eyes—a dull, hollow sadness brimming with tears—seemed lost, as if drifting through shadows too heavy to escape.
"What am I to you..." His voice broke the silence, soft yet piercing, loud enough for only us. For a moment, I froze, his words sinking in, carrying a weight that brushed against my heart.
"Heh?" I thought, Rejection? Acceptance? Somehow, it didn't matter anymore. Even if Eren turned me down, at least—unlike her—I'd never leave this world with words unspoken.
A faint, trembling smile surfaced as I took a small step closer, each movement bridging the space that had felt so vast for years. Gently, my hands rose, brushing against his cheeks—warm, flushed, but tinged with the sadness he couldn't hide.
I felt the tears slipping down my face, a heavy downpour I couldn't contain, yet through it all, I kept smiling, even as I sobbed. Each tear seemed to carry years of yearning, sorrow, and unspoken words.
"My everything… You… Eren, you're my everything." The words fell from my lips like a confession, each one soft yet searing. "My most dearest..... my most precious… my most beloved….. Eren Yeager, I love you."
In that moment, I poured my heart into those words, willing him to feel every beat of mine that had always belonged to him. The courage it took to say it felt like standing at the edge of the world, yet a warm calm washed over me.
I held my trembling smile, even as my tears spilled over, my heart pounding fiercely against my chest, vulnerable yet unafraid, but wanting the end of this long stretching silence that seemed to sniff the soul out of me.
And then gathering enough courage l, I opened my eyes, meeting his, and he let out a quiet chuckle—a sound so soft and rare, it felt like music, one I'd never realized I needed to hear.
His smile was wide and radiant, more beautiful than anything I'd ever seen—a glimpse of pure, unguarded innocence. But then, just as quickly, his expression shifted, and a single tear slipped down his cheek. Another followed, and before I even knew it, he was crying at the top of his lungs—finally letting go of all the weight he'd been carrying alone.
He drew me close, his smile fading as he clenched his teeth, wrapping me in a fierce embrace. His head pressed into my shoulder, one arm wrapped tightly around my waist while his other hand held the back of my head, fingers tangled in my hair. He cried into my shoulder, his voice muffled yet clear, each shuddering breath sinking into my skin.
"I... I was scared... really scared…" he whispered through choked sobs. "Because... I thought you'd... you'd turn me down... Thank... thank you, Mikasa!"
His words broke me apart inside, each one carving deeper into the guilt I felt, as if I'd been blind to the weight he'd been carrying. And here he was, broken down in my arms, finally free to feel without restraint.
My chest tightened as I clung to him, realizing just how much I had missed, how oblivious I had been to the burdens he had faced alone. I was such an idiot… he'd been in so much pain, all because of me…
Our tears mingled, our cries blending together in the night as the relief washed over us, freeing us both. We sank to the dry, barren ground, clinging to each other with everything we had, like an unspoken promise to never let go again.
But as much as I hated it, I slowly pulled back, breaking the embrace. I looked at Eren, watching as he tried to wipe away his tears, offering me a small, tremulous smile. I looked down, my hands twisting as I whispered, "I'm… I'm sorry… I'm the reason you went through all of that. Because of me… everything happened, all of it… and…"
But before I could say anything, before I could even comprehend the words I was choking on, Eren closed the space between us. His lips, soft and trembling, met mine in a kiss so gentle, it was as if the world itself had stopped to hold its breath.
For a moment, I couldn't understand what had just happened, but then the warmth of his lips took over, and I felt my body give way, collapsing into the sensation. I loved it. I loved it more than I could ever find words for.
His eyes were closed, our noses touching, and for a fleeting moment, everything around us faded. It was just him and me—two souls entwined in the quiet of the night. The world had disappeared, and all that remained was the rush of warmth between us.
Slowly, my hand found its place around his neck, pulling him closer, as though I couldn't bear the thought of him ever pulling away. My other hand grasped at the soft fabric of his coat, curling the material with a weak but desperate grip. I wanted to stay here forever, to live in this instant where nothing else mattered but the feel of his lips, his touch, his warmth.
But time, as always, was cruel. After a while, he slowly pulled back, his lips leaving mine with the gentlest of sighs and ragged breaths. His smile—soft, sweet, and tender—was the only thing that kept me grounded in reality.
I could still feel the warmth of his breath lingering on my mouth, and even though I was in a lightheaded daze, I just wanted to follow the warm air back to its source and just stay there forever.
But then his fingers, so gentle yet so certain, cupped my cheeks, his touch sending a ripple of warmth through me. I could feel my tears mingling with the warmth of his hands, and it shattered me.
There was so much we hadn't said, so much we couldn't say, but in this moment, in his gaze, there was an unspoken promise. Fate could bring whatever it wanted—it didn't matter anymore.
I would face it, because the man I had loved since childhood, the man who had always been my world, had just given me his heart in a way that made every ounce of pain and regret worth it.
But then, in the softest voice, like he was whispering the very weight of his soul to me, he spoke, shattering me completely:
"It's not your fault… it never was…"
His voice cracked as he continued, his eyes never leaving mine, his breath shaky but his words steady:
"Hey… Mikasa… I'm sorry you had to hear what Erwin said. Me and Historia having a child... I—I don't want that. None of it. Just like always… I've been giving my will away… for humanity… but I don't want that anymore.... I... I just want you...."
The tears fell freely now, unable to be stopped, as the moonlight bathed his face, illuminating his eyes—eyes that seemed to live again, filled with a light I hadn't seen in so long.
The weight of his words, the rawness in them, cracked open the walls I'd built around myself. All I had ever wanted was him. And now, he was here, saying he wanted me too.
In that moment, all the pain, all the doubts, and all the confusion melted away. It was just us. And no matter what the future held, I knew this truth—he had always been my everything, and now, he was finally mine.
Our lips met once more, but this time, I was the one who initiated it. Both of my hands rested gently on his chest as he held me, his warmth enveloping me as he locked his lips with mine.
With every passing second, I deepened the kiss, pouring my gratitude, my longing, my entire heart into that moment. My tears flowed freely, unchecked and unbidden, no matter how desperately I tried to hold them back.
When I finally pulled away, a thin trail of saliva still connected our lips, but all I could focus on was the raw emotion that hung in the air between us.
"I'd love to be with you too…" My voice trembled as I spoke, my heart racing with every word. "That's what I've always wanted... Being with Eren... Being by his side... Spending nights with him... Kissing him... Hugging him... Savouring every last moment with him... Without Eren, my world would just fall apart..."
I smiled through my tears, clinging to him like he was my anchor, my only reason to hold on to life. I could've fainted in his arms right then from sheer happiness, my heart aching with how full it felt.
"Umm... Me too..." Eren's voice, so soft, so sincere, reached me, and I looked up to find him smiling at me. But it wasn't just any smile. His smile was as beautiful and rare as he was, and in that moment, I felt as if I'd succeeded at life—not through battles or victories, but by making him smile like that.
I slowly adjusted my position, resting my head against his chest, listening to the erratic beat of his heart. His fingers brushed through my hair, the touch soothing, yet I could feel the tension in him. I closed my eyes, savoring the rhythm of his heartbeat, a constant reminder that he was here, with me, now and forever.
Without thinking, the words slipped from my lips, a plea, a desperate hope.
"Er… Eren... Let's run away... From everyone, from everything... Our responsibilities, our burdens, all the things that tie us down... Let's throw it all away, just for once... And be together... Far, far away... Just us... and no one else..."
My eyes were shut tight, my hair brushing against his black coat, as I braced myself for rejection. I was asking alot right now: humanity's hope. I expected him to say something like, "Sorry, Mikasa, I can't risk the lives of Eldia," or "It's not possible, Mikasa, I can't risk Historia," or some other excuse that would tear my heart apart.
But when he spoke, the words that came from him shattered all the walls I'd built around myself.
"Why not?" His voice was steady, calm, but there was something in it—something that made my heart skip a beat. "I'd love that... Being with you... Sleeping under the same roof... Far, far away with my beautiful Mikasa... I'd love to do that..."
The shock hit me like a wave, and before I could even process what he'd just said, tears began to fall again, this time not from sadness, but from a deep, overwhelming relief.
His words were a balm to a wound I hadn't known was so deep. For the first time, I truly believed in the possibility of something more—something beautiful, something just for us.
A faint gasp escaped my mouth as Eren gently pulled me back, our foreheads touching, then our noses, the closeness making my breath catch. I could feel the heat of his breath against my wet cheeks, each exhale more tender than the last.
"That shorty once told me..." His voice was low, thick with emotion, as his eyes met mine, "Even if I were to become selfish in pursuing my dreams, I shouldn't hesitate. So that by the time I die, I wouldn't have any regrets…" He paused, a heaviness in his gaze. "And my only dream is you. My ambitions, my goals… fuck it all. For Mikasa Ackerman, I'll do anything…"
He moved his lips to my forehead, pressing a soft kiss that lingered, sending a warmth through me that I never wanted to leave. When he pulled back, his gaze was so raw, so vulnerable.
I swallowed, my voice barely a whisper, cracking with the weight of everything I couldn't hold back, something I always wanted to ask. "But… I... I thought you didn't want to be with me… When Erwin asked you… you rejected me… Why?"
Fuck why would I say that.
The words hung in the air, regret flooding my chest. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. Eren's eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, he seemed unsure of how to answer.
But then, with a gentle movement, he pulled me close until I was sitting in his lap, our faces mere inches apart, the world around us fading into the background.
"Because… I wanted you to forget about me…" His voice cracked as he spoke, a fragile vulnerability lacing his words. "After I died, I wanted you to live a long, peaceful life… with another man. I.... I wanted you to find true happiness..."
The words struck me like a punch to the gut, and before I could even think, I grabbed him by his collar, my heart racing with a mix of anger and hurt. "How dare you think that..."
My voice trembled, but it was laced with fierce determination. "I would never… ever think about anyone but you… You are the only one I could ever have eyes for… Only you. I can't find happiness if my Eren isn't part of it."
I looked into his eyes, my vision blurred by the constant stream of tears. My chest tightened, but I refused to look away. There was no more pretending, no more hiding. My heart was laid bare before him.
Eren's expression softened, his lips curving into a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry… Mikasa… I… I was being an idiot…"
And just like that, his words faded as he pulled me into another kiss, silencing all my doubts, all my fears. His lips were so soft, so gentle, that my mind spun in a haze of warmth.
I closed my eyes, my hands instinctively reaching to caress his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his skin, the steady pulse beneath.
"Umm…" A soft moan slipped from me as our tongues met, hesitant at first but soon growing desperate, hungry. I felt every part of him, tasted every corner of his mouth, savoring it all. I deepened the kiss, our bodies pressing closer as the world outside us melted away.
But like before, Eren slowly retracted his lips, leaving me breathless once again, my chest heaving in protest. "Ereh… not… not again…" My voice was shaky, a plea, a longing that seemed impossible to satisfy.
He chuckled softly, pressing a lingering kiss to my cheek before I felt my hands slide down his loose shoulders, my gaze shifting downward. That's when I saw it—his hand, clutching a small white box illuminating in the moonlight.
"Eh?" My brow furrowed, my hand trembling as I wiped away the flood of tears. My gaze fixed on his hand, as his fingers gently caressed my earlobe, sending another wave of emotion through me. He was breaking, but he still tried to hold himself together, his voice thick with regret.
"I... I really am the dumbest person," he whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. "I fought for years... trying to pursue the freedom I desired... yet I failed to see... the freedom I craved so much, ... It was always right by my side... and I never realized it... Taking it for granted...."
"Eh?" The words barely registered as I gasped, my heart pounding in my chest. I watched him, his eyes trembling, his tears falling freely now—just like mine. His struggle was laid bare before me.
Then he spoke again, each word piercing the stillness, "Mikasa Ackerman... You're my freedom... My world... My love... My life... My everything... I can't imagine a life without you."
"Eren?"
"That's why... will... will you marry me and become mine forever?"
I froze, unable to comprehend the depth of what he was offering. A small white box in his hand caught the moonlight, and when he opened it, I saw it..... the ring—an emerald stone resting at the top that matched the beauty of his eyes, shimmering like a promise I'd always dreamed of but never thought would come true.
My hand flew to my mouth, muffling my sobs. This couldn't be real. It felt like a dream—too beautiful, too perfect to hold. But then, through my tears, I nodded. And in a single, trembling motion, Eren lifted the ring and slid it onto my finger, his hands shaking as if he too couldn't believe what we were doing.
"Eren... My Eren..." I cried out, my voice raw with emotion. The sobs spilled from me, unrestrained, as I clung to him, burying my face in his shoulder. The sound of his own muffled cries mixed with mine, creating a symphony of shared grief and joy, of all the years we had spent apart and now finally together.
We cried and cried and cried together, with no more words to say, only the sound of our weeping filling the air. It was a release, a healing, as if the weight of everything—our past, our pain—was being washed away in this moment.
Finally, between broken breaths, I whispered, "I love you…"
And in the same breath, he responded, his voice shaking but certain, "I've always loved you…"
Those words, so simple yet so profound, shattered every last wall around my heart. More tears fell, soaking into our clothes, but I didn't care. The warmth of his embrace, the love that wrapped around us both, made the moonlight seem like a distant, insignificant thing.
There, in that quiet, sacred moment, we were everything to each other. And nothing else mattered.
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Ahh fuck..... It was a pain in the heart and in the ass writing this chapter 4k words never done that. And never wrote a romantic chapter with confessions and shit so don't mind me if it sucked but this was all I could ever think of. I hope you enjoyed it. The next arc would start soon or tomorrow. Now tell me how was it?
:^]
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