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75% Reincarnated As A Villain Ugly Bastard In A Yuri Novel / Chapter 3: I Haven’t Cleared My Browser History Yet!

章 3: I Haven’t Cleared My Browser History Yet!

He glanced at the most obvious culprit—Midia.

Sure enough, he spotted a faint milk stain on her veil.

'Is she an assassin?' Daniel wondered, dumbstruck. 'I was sitting right here the whole time. How did she manage to pick up my glass and drink it without me noticing?'

Despite his confusion, he was also a bit impressed by her stealthy talent for devouring food and drinks.

'In any case, I'd better not bring this up,' Daniel thought. 'Women are sensitive about this kind of thing. If I point it out, I might embarrass her.'

Just as this thought crossed Daniel's mind, he heard a small nervous hiccup from Midia. "Hiek, I'm sorry. Your drink was just so irresistible, I couldn't help myself," she confessed.

Daniel blinked. 'Yup, this lady's a weirdo.'

"Don't worry about it, I'll order another one," he said, waving it off with a smile.

"You really like sweet things, huh?" he asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

"Hmm," Midia hummed in agreement, then surprised him by adding, "I do, but my attendant is always around to keep my sweet cravings in check. So, I usually don't get to indulge in sweets very often."

'Attendant?' Daniel quickly latched onto the word and couldn't help but grow more curious about her background.

But asking directly about that on a first meeting seemed too forward.

So, he resisted the urge and instead took a more subtle approach, asking her seemingly harmless questions that might provide a small glimpse into her life.

Ten minutes later, Daniel sat with a puzzled expression while Midia continued enjoying her dessert, her eyes narrowing in delight every now and then. This time, she was eating the cake slowly, but whenever he tried to sneak a peek at her face as she ate, something would distract him.

Sometimes it was as simple as a fly buzzing too close, making him blink. Other times, a girl would trip and fall straight into his lap. Then there was the couple fighting nearby, causing part of their drinks to spill onto him.

In short, some strange disturbance always happened right when he finally got the chance to catch a glimpse of her face.

Eventually, he gave up on trying to peek under her veil and focused more on their conversation.

As they talked, he began to wonder if Midia and he were from completely different worlds.

From her responses, Daniel could assume she led an extremely conservative life—almost like that of a nun. But even nuns nowadays should know about things like cars, phones, and modern technology, right? Yet Midia spoke as if she had lived in total isolation, far away from the world's advancements.

How is that even possible?

'Could she be lying?' Daniel sipped his freshly ordered iced coffee, watching her curiously. 'But she doesn't seem like the type of a girl that can lie with a straight face.'

"I'm done eating," Midia's voice snapped him back to reality.

"You're done?" Daniel quickly smiled. "So, what do you want to eat next?" he didn't know why, but watching her eat seemed to improve his mood.

"I'm going back," Midia shook her head.

"Then, at least let me send you off," Daniel offered.

"There's no need for that," Midia replied, then slipped her hand inside her dress, reaching toward her chest.

Daniel nearly jumped in his seat at the unexpected action.

"Here," she said calmly, pulling out a thick notebook.

Relieved, Daniel exhaled and took the notebook from her. "What's this?" He casually opened it.

At first, the pages were filled with a string of foreign characters. But after blinking, the text suddenly transformed into English.

'Yup, I must've overworked myself with all those girls,' he mused. 'I should probably start setting some limits so my body doesn't get overburdened.' Daniel thought he was simply exhausted from all those crazy sexes, which was why he kept hallucinating today.

"Is this a novel?" he asked, looking up. But when he did, there was no one in front of him.

Midia was gone. She was nowhere to be found.

"Midia?" he called out, frowning as he stood abruptly and scanned the café.

"Sir, you haven't paid your bill yet!" the waiter called out anxiously.

Daniel paused, turned back, and walked toward the cashier.

As he paid, he couldn't help but ask, "Did you happen to see where the woman who was sitting with me went?"

"A woman?" The cashier looked at Daniel with confusion, then a hint of pity appeared in his eyes. "Sir, what woman are you talking about? You were sitting alone the whole time."

Though the cashier found the man in front of her quite handsome, it was a shame he seemed to have some sort of psychological issue.

"Alone?" Daniel's frown deepened. "Then which glutton ate my cakes if it wasn't her?"

"Weren't those cakes ordered and eaten by you, sir?" The cashier's tone was growing more sympathetic.

Noticing the increasingly strange look she was giving him, Daniel hurriedly paid the bill and left the café.

'Too bad I can't ask for the CCTV footage. Only the police can do that,' he thought as he stepped outside.

"What a strange day," Daniel muttered, looking up at the sky before glancing down at the thick notebook still in his hand.

After pondering for a moment, he decided to head to a nearby park. Finding an empty bench, he sat down and began inspecting the notebook.

Finding nothing unusual about its cover, he opened it again, skimming through the first few pages, then the next, and the next.

Before he knew it, he was flipping through the pages faster and faster, completely engrossed. Time slipped away unnoticed, and by the time he finished, the sun had long set, replaced by the cold glow of the moon.

Tears suddenly streamed from his eyes.

"Ahh! My eyes, my eyes!" Daniel rubbed at them, feeling a stinging dryness. He rolled on the ground, screaming in pain. Fortunately, there was no one around to witness this embarrassing display.

It took several minutes for the pain to subside.

"What the hell just happened to me?" he muttered, blinking rapidly. "It's nighttime already?" He was shocked; it felt like he had just left the café. How had hours passed so quickly?

"I need to get home. Too many strange things today, I don't feel so good about this," Daniel murmured, quickly packing up the notebook. He hesitated briefly about whether to leave it but eventually decided to keep it.

As he walked back to his apartment, the streets felt eerily quiet. Normally, by this time, the area would be bustling, with homeless people setting up tents. But tonight, there was no one.

"Strange..."

Screech!

"What the—?" Daniel suddenly saw a blinding light speeding toward him. As the light got closer, he realized it was coming from the car's headlights.

"Fuck! Is this guy drunk?" The car was rushing down in his direction.

Though his mind was fatigued, Daniel's reflexes kicked in. Drawing on the skills his martial artist girlfriend had taught him, he sidestepped at the last second, narrowly avoiding the car.

Bang!

The car smashed into a fire hydrant, sending water gushing into the air.

Splash!

Angry and shaken, Daniel walked up to the car and kicked its front door. "You crazy bastard! Trying to kill me?! If you want to get yourself killed driving drunk, don't drag me into it!"

Bam!

Bam!

Despite kicking the door several times, his anger still wasn't calming down. He yanked on the door handle, surprised to find it unlocked.

But when he opened it, Daniel froze in shock.

The driver's seat was empty.

There was no one behind the wheel.

"HAHAHAHA!" A cold laugh escaped Daniel's mouth. "You think you can hide from me? Come here, you little bitch! I'll make sure to beat you up before handing you over to the police."

Daniel quickly entered the car through the front and reached for the backseat.

He quickly climbed into the SUV, assuming the driver must be hiding in the back. The vehicle had three rows of seats, so Daniel started searching through the second and third rows.

But no matter how thoroughly he checked, the driver was nowhere to be found.

"Damn it! Did they already escape? But how? This makes no sense!" Daniel fumed, growing increasingly frustrated.

Just then, another light caught his attention—this one heading directly toward him.

"Ah, finally! Someone who can help," Daniel muttered with relief as he prepared to exit the vehicle.

But then, his relief turned to panic.

"What the hell? Why is it locked now?!" He yanked at the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. He kicked at the door in desperation, but it remained stubbornly shut.

"Help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped!" Daniel shouted, pounding on the windows as the light grew closer.

To his horror, Daniel realized the approaching light was from a truck—a massive truck speeding down the road, showing no signs of slowing. In fact, it seemed to be picking up speed as it headed straight to his position. 

"Are you kidding me? Another drunk driver? Just as I dodged one, there's another coming at me? What are the odds of being this unlucky?!"

The truck was like a raging bull, and the SUV he was trapped in was its target.

"Holy shit! It's not stopping! I'm really gonna die this time!" 

"Ahhh, I haven't cleared my browser history yet!"

"And my chat logs! If I die, the cops will surely comb through my contact list and contact everyone on my phone! If that happens, won't all my girlfriends find out I've been cheating on them? Damn it!

"For fuck's sake, this can't be how I go!"

"I'm unwilling! I swear, all drunk drivers should go straight to hell—" Daniel's roar was cut short by the deafening crash of the truck slamming into the SUV.

Crash!


章 4: Waking Up

Argh...

What a terrible migraine…

My head... it hurts so much…

It feels like someone's pounding my skull with a hammer…

Suddenly, a flood of memories rushed back into his mind.

Wait, I remember… a truck… crashing into me…

Did I survive?!

As this thought crossed Daniel's mind, his eyes snapped open, revealing a vast, unfamiliar clearing.

Instinctively, his hand reached for his chest, right where his heart was. To his shock, he felt it—his heartbeat.

Thump!

Thump!

"I'm alive... I survived..." The sound of his own heartbeat was strangely comforting, more than he ever realized it could be.

Perhaps it takes facing death to truly appreciate life. He had always taken his heart beating for granted. Now, after nearly losing his life, he understood just how precious it was to simply live.

Daniel quickly sat up and began checking for injuries, but what he found left him utterly bewildered.

"Why is it that, instead of feeling pain like anyone involved in a traffic accident should, I feel strong… and energized?" he frowned in confusion.

Other than the lingering headache, Daniel felt no other discomfort in his body, which was strange, considering he had been hit by a truck.

"But how's that even possible? Unless I somehow awakened some kind of supernatural power like Qi, Haki, Chakra, or whatever other bullshit you see in anime, there's no way to explain how I came out of that crash unscathed."

He frowned, shaking his head. "But that's unlikely, right? This isn't a novel!"

Daniel tried to recall the accident, but the moment he did, his head throbbed intensely, forcing him to stop thinking.

"Whatever. It's better than being crippled. I don't think I could handle living as a disabled person. I suppose I can just ask the nurse what happened to me." he spoke to himself and finally lifted his head.

That's when he realized—this wasn't a hospital room at all.

As he looked around, he found nothing resembling a hospital room. There were no electrical devices to monitor his health, no IV drips, nothing.

He also realized he wasn't lying on a simple hospital mattress. Instead, he was resting on a luxurious queen-sized bed. Not only was it unbelievably comfortable, it didn't creak or groan whenever he moved.

This was far different from the bed in his apartment. His bed was practically a rock, squeaking every time he shifted positions, and sleeping on it had never been pleasant. It was one of the main reasons he often slept at his girlfriends' places—where their beds were much comfier and smelled nice.

"If this isn't a hospital room, then where the hell am I? Don't tell me I've been kidnapped…" wild thoughts began to race through his mind.

"But who would even bother to kidnap me? I'm not the heir to some conglomerate, and I don't have any assets worth blackmailing. I'm just a broke guy who happens to be handsome and good at flirting. Wait! Could it be one of those husbands found out about me sleeping with their wives and now they're out for revenge?!"

As he was lost in thought, the door to the room suddenly swung open. Two men entered. One had a stern expression, while the other seemed more carefree. Both had swords scabbard hanging from their left waists.

The two men who had just entered the room didn't seem to notice he was awake.

The carefree one scoffed loudly, "Has Lady Abraham lost her mind? Letting the Lord bring in his illegitimate child? And from the badlanders no less! Did you see him? He's as ugly as a goblin! And now, the Lady wants us to wake this beast up? Ugh, my hands were itching to give him a good whipping!"

"Shh! You idiot!" the stern-looking man hissed, visibly anxious.

"What? What did I do?"

"You're talking too loud! Haven't you heard the saying? 'Walls have ears and mouths!' Do you want to get punished for gossiping about the Lady and Lord?" the stern-looking man grabbed his partner by the collar and shook him roughly a few times.

Realizing his mistake, the carefree man's eyes widened. He nodded quickly, lowering his voice.

"Just shut up and do your job quietly!" the stern-looking man reminded. He then moved cautiously toward the door, peeking down the corridor. After ensuring no one was around, he exhaled in relief and returned to the room.

That's when he noticed Daniel, wide awake, staring at them from the bed. His eyes widened in shock.

His partner followed his gaze and froze as well.

For what seemed like an eternity, the room was enveloped in awkward silence as the three men locked eyes.

Finally, Daniel, unable to suppress his curiosity, frowned and broke the tension. "Who… who are you guys?"

He had been listening to their conversation, but none of it made sense.

Also, judging by their attire, they didn't seem to be nurses. 'Was I right about being kidnapped?'

The two men exchanged uneasy glances, unsure how to respond.

They had been sent to wake the "beast". But how exactly were they supposed to treat him? As a guest? Or more like a criminal?

More importantly, how long had he been awake?

Finally, the stern man spoke up, his voice sharp. "When did you wake up?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Why does it matter when I wake up? Who the hell are you guys?" he stood up from the bed.

Immediately, Daniel realized something was wrong. He was towering over the two men in front of him, which was odd because, by all accounts, they appeared to be about the same height as him. "What the... since when did I get so tall?" but before he could fully process this, he noticed both men abruptly drawing their swords.

"Don't move!" the stern man warned, sword aimed at Daniel.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down!" Daniel raised his hands in surrender, his eyes widening as they locked onto the gleaming blades. He had never taken the sword scabbards seriously, assuming they were just decorative accessories. Little did he expect he was fully mistaken!

"Let's just talk, alright? No need to point those swords at me."

"So... when did you wake up?" the stern man repeated.

Daniel gulped. 'Should I tell the truth?' he glanced at the tense man, sword still drawn. 'Nah, he looks like he'd stab me if I told him the truth.'

"I only woke up just now. Is there a problem?" Daniel said, feigning confusion.

"So you didn't hear our conversation?" the man pressed.

'Ah, so that's what he's worried about,' Daniel thought.

"What conversation?" Daniel replied, playing dumb.

The stern man narrowed his eyes, studying Daniel's expression for a moment before sheathing his sword. He gestured for his partner to do the same. "Nevermind,"

Daniel exhaled in relief as they withdrew their swords.

"You, come with us," the stern man ordered.

"Where are we going?" Daniel asked, hesitating. If he weren't afraid of provoking the two men, he would've outright refused. Who knew where they planned to take him?

"We're taking you to meet Lady Abraham."

"Lady Abraham?" Daniel had a huge question mark on his face. On second thought, he felt the name sounded somehow familiar.

"You don't know Lady Abraham?! You were brought here without even knowing who she is?" the stern man asked, astonished.

"Yeah? Is she someone important?"

"Well, obviously!"

"Never heard of her. Does she own something like Google or YouTube, or something?" Daniel asked casually, trying to buy time as much as possible.

The men blinked in confusion. "G-Gogle? Y-Yutub? What the hell are those?"

"Seriously? Have you been living in a cave or something?"

At his words, the two men's expressions turned strange.

"What?" Daniel asked, noticing their odd reactions.

"Living in a cave... isn't that basically what you've been doing all this time?"

"What?!" Daniel blurted, now more confused than ever.

Were they referring to his life in general? Or rather his crappy apartment? Was his place really that bad, to the point that his kidnapper would classify it as a cave?

Daniel felt like something was missing from their conversation. But whatever it was, he couldn't quite grasp it.

At that moment, the stern man continued, his tone shifting slightly. "I don't know what this 'Yutub' or 'Gogle' is that you're talking about, but Lady Abraham is someone very famous. However, given your… unique circumstances, I can understand why you might not know her reputation. So, let me tell you about her achievements."

He paused dramatically before listing them off:

"She's an Eighth-Circle Ice Archmage."

"The Honorable Counselor of Altinova City."

"Leader of the Abraham Family's Second Branch."

"A rare talent, the kind that only appears once in a thousand years!"

"Founder of the Eternal Ice Spire."

"And she's better known as the Ice Queen—Lady Adelaide Abraham!"

The titles rang out like proclamations, each one more impossible for Daniel to process than the last. He blinked a few times, still not entirely sure how to respond to such a grand introduction. Eighth-Circle Ice Mage? Ice Queen? What kind of fantasy world did I wake up in?

Or rather, what kind of moron is bored enough to come up with a list of achievements like that? It's like something out of a chuunibyou fantasy…

"Pff-" he was about to burst out laughing at the absurdity when a flicker of memory flashed across his mind.

"No way…" Daniel muttered in disbelief.

The stern man, interpreting Daniel's shock as awe for Lady Adelaide's titles, scoffed. "Even an illiterate badlander like you should understand the significance of those titles, right?"

But what the man didn't realize was that Daniel's shock ran much deeper than simple awe. Inside, his emotions were twirling into chaos.

Adelaide Abraham… Ice Mage… Badlander… Two people dressed in medieval armor…

And then, the fact that he had no injuries despite a life-threatening crash.

Suddenly, the puzzle pieces were beginning to fit together.

"No... no... this can't be," Daniel whispered, shaking his head in denial. But as he did, his eyes fell on a mirror across the room.

There, staring back at him, was his reflection—or rather, his new reflection.


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