章 15: ANOMALY.
He was in a situation of no return, trapped in the darkness of loneliness. What he once considered unknown now stretched out before him like an old friend, a presence without body or face. He listened to the empty echo of nothingness, unable to feel even a limb. In that formless gloom, he was unable to see himself to check his own state.
In the deepest shadows, I heard whispers, barely audible voices. He could do nothing, he could barely reason enough to question whether he was still alive.
At the moments when his consciousness gained ground, the darkness receded as if inviting him to enter the path of memory. It was a strange feeling, a cold peace devoid of hope.
The sounds he heard intermingled, confusing him as darkness transformed into earth rushing toward him. An endless number of images and sensations enveloped him, a chaotic dance in the middle of the darkness.
Some memories were fresh, as if they had just happened. However, among the scenes he relived, there were moments of his life that he thought he had buried in oblivion.
She remembered her first hot meal, her first bath with clean water, the first pajamas she ever had... and his first bed. And then there was the constant presence of his father, who was always there to say goodbye to him every night and greet him at every breakfast.
Shinki was reviewing his life, as if he was watching a movie about someone else's life. At the time, he was reflecting on why the Kazekage had decided to adopt him, a street child.
"Because I had no choice. Everyone was watching him, and Gaara-sama is quite cunning. The reason he didn't cast you away was because the rumor that you were his son came before he thought about getting rid of you."
Although he couldn't feel it, Shinki let out a sigh as the memories flowed along with the gloomy earth that slammed into his callous face.
Shinki of the Desert. That was him, the only son of young Kazekage of the Sand.
Although they were not biological father and son, they shared many similarities. Some of these similarities were not mentioned in his presence, but Shinki frequently heard them in adult conversations.
He heard stories of how his father won the respect of his peers with his loyalty and honor, of the friendships he forged outside the walls of the Arena, and of the maturity he quickly gained from his painful past.
All of that was the path Shinki followed when people began to recognize him as the Son of Kazekage.
As he grew older and understood better, Shinki came to understand more deeply the events that his father rarely spoke of with pride.
If Shinki had been born in a different era, it is likely that he would not have been rescued. He could have starved to death or, even worse, been killed.
From an early age, adults feared his power. Even his own mother abandoned him after an incident in which she inadvertently forced his father to brush the depths of the Underworld with the iron controlled by the young six-year-old Shinki.
From the beginning, he was alone because of that innate affinity that always accompanied him since birth. When his family found an excuse to get rid of him, Shinki was forced to face the streets at a young age.
However, his father, the most important figure in his life, eventually rescued him from obscurity. For the first time, Shinki felt relief. His father was the first person who managed to survive his attacks, as he possessed the same skill as the young Shinki.
What would have become of him if his father had not recognized him? What if that incident had been handled differently and the Kazekage had not intervened?
Would Shinki have continued to live in the Sand?
Abandoned by his parents, who set off in unknown directions, Shinki found himself alone in the world. Except for his father, the Kazekage, he had no one else to call family. Not even his grandparents were alive at the time, and his few cousins rejected him.
Once, his father asked him a question that Shinki clearly remembered, though he couldn't pinpoint when exactly it took place, given his current situation. He was sure it was before the catastrophe in the Arena.
"Do you think I've given you a good life?" The Kazekage asked, questioning his own paternity.
Shinki, surprised by his father's self-criticism, quickly replied:
"I see no reason to say otherwise, father! You have given me a roof, food, clean clothes, a bed to sleep in. You've even neglected your duties on many occasions to be with me."
That day, both his father and the adults around him seemed to behave strangely, as if they were making sure not to stray too far from Shinki.
Despite his constant attempts to get answers, Shinki always lost out. Eventually, his lingering curiosity led his father to call him directly into his office.
On this occasion, his father did not speak like the Kazekage, but like his father; the man he rarely saw when the Kazekage retired to rest.
"I see." His father replied, with an almost resigned and tired expression, which worried the brown-haired young Chunin.
Disagreements between Shinki and his father were few, they could be counted on one hand. This would be the first and last time.
Thirty-three-year-old Gaara rested her elbows on her messy desk, which was full of suspicious and troubling papers for Shinki. Hiding the lower half of his face behind his clasped hands, he gave Shinki the news he had feared to receive.
His father's words seemed to slip between Gaara's lips. For Shinki, accustomed to seeing his father always correct in his speech, it was strange to notice a lack of interest in his tone.
With a drooping and gloomy look, Gaara for the first time in her life, directed a penetrating and serene gaze towards her son. The tension between the two was palpable, something they had never experienced before, especially not coming from Gaara to their own son.
"Tell me, Shinki. Do you really think that having a good life comes down to that?" Gaara's stern and tired tone made Shinki swallow hard. "Love, support, protection... I offered you everything. Everything that was denied to me as a child, I gave to you. I'm sure that if I hadn't held this position in my life, you wouldn't consider having a clean bed and clothes as a good life. You simply need to have an important person by your side."
Shinki instantly regretted his words, seeing his father's expression. "Is something wrong with you, father?"
This was the first significant confrontation Shinki had with his father. He was neither explosive nor worthy of the legends surrounding the exploits of his father and grandfather. But for Shinki, simply receiving that look of disapproval was enough to break his heart.
Many times he thought about that meeting. It was the last one she had with her father, and the separation lasted about two weeks.
The cycle was the same. Each mission was simpler than the last, and the rest days were longer. Shinki spent his breaks, reflecting on that meeting.
The nights staring at the ceiling became endless. "Who was Shinki? What became of his life once he took the position of Kazekage?"
Someday, it will be all you will wonder. And he didn't have the answer to any of those questions.
His father had been protecting him all this time. He did not grow by himself. His father had to suffer to mature, and Shinki only had to enjoy a bed and external rests to be satisfied.
Wasn't that someone quite content with the wrong thing?
What did his father want to get out of him? What did Father want to tell you?
His look back then... it reflected the desire he had to spit everything out at Shinki. But currently, Shinki himself agreed with the Gaara of that time, not to tell him anything. I don't know he deserved it.
Because someone who couldn't face his father's future killer didn't deserve to know the truth from the Kazekage's mouth.
Shinki was nothing. Being adopted by that man didn't change anything about him.
His ears did not hear his father's screams. His body didn't react when the Arena forced him back, and his mind at the moment was only wondering what had triggered that attack on the village.
If only he had listened to his father, perhaps he would have understood the threat that person posed.
"The death of the heir is the key to access the demon of the Sand. When the container is emptied, the seal anomaly will open the way. When you gain the power of that anomaly, you will be able to control the demon. Having it will grant you power and respect. The Sand village will surrender at your feet once the vessel containing it is in your hands."
It all happened too quickly. Suddenly, his home was destroyed along with his father. And then, Shinki found himself practically prostrate in the Sand, while a cloaked man weighed on his back before the eyes of the catastrophe survivors.
His friends were among the spectators, like everyone else, and they were terrified. Shinki could only hear sharp bangs and Kunais' clash, and then hear the moans of his two teammates.
Yodo and Araya were defeated in the blink of an eye.
Then, everything faded into gray, and only the pressure of the wind took over his ears. He had no idea how long he had been in the air, moving quickly towards an unknown destination. Within minutes, he calculated that he was quite far away from his friends, and soon after, darkness took over his mind.
It was only for a second, a brief instant, that he had a chance to see his attacker. A blue-haired man, with an imposing and stern presence, keeping his distance from a Konoha ninja.
"Konoha has arrived... Finally a village has arrived." Shinki thought as he faded into unconsciousness. "Someone has to save the Arena. Someone has to save my father."
In the eyes of others, Shinki was a child whose existence was assured from the moment his father first looked at him. But for him, just breathing was proof that everything his beloved father taught him hadn't been lost.
I wish he had understood then, when his father barely touched breakfast. Perhaps if he had had the courage to dig deeper and demonstrate his maturity, he and his father would have shared one last satisfying memory, even if the Kazekage was sacrificing itself for its own.
But now it was too late. When Shinki closed his eyes, the world continued to spin at its own pace. No one was going to wait for his maturity to arrive.
"It's better that way." He affirmed in the silence of the dark landscape of his mind. "I couldn't do anything. And they're all better off without me."
When Shinki was little, there were many times when he faced challenges that seemed insurmountable. His father was always there, offering a helping hand or some conversation that might distract him from his problems.
But Shinki didn't remember facing such problems. And he was pretty good at remembering.
His father, discreet and faithful to his ideals, never pressured or discouraged him from facing his own battles. At all times, Shinki was guided by his teammates.
Why did he never stop to think about it?
Now that he had more time to reflect, he could clearly see the gaps in the memories that outlined his father's figure in his life.
Despite being the Kazekage, he was still her father... Why did he never say anything to him? Even knowing what was coming, why did his father never take a moment to talk to him?
He thought it would be a good idea to laugh at himself. But I didn't even have the mood for that.
His father had wanted to talk to him. There were high chances that perhaps Shinki was the hope in his eyes, and he spoiled it himself with a vague answer.
Now he was facing the consequences of being negligent with his attentions. This was what he deserved for being a naïve Ninja. No, now he could not be considered one.
Yodine and Araya would be better off without him. They always turned to him for everything, and if he gave orders under these conditions, he would most likely put them in danger.
"I just hope they don't worry so much about me..." She whispered, with one last breath before falling into the arms of unconsciousness again.
At least he was able to briefly confirm that he was still alive...
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