章 7: 7: Emptiness

(Natsuha POV)

It's been a month since we broke up.

I cut all my ties with Oga-kun and haven't seen him at all this month. Then I heard he was dropping out of school. I also heard the school was going to expel him anyway despite having to repeat a grade. He's older than me, even far older than Yuuta, but he has zero responsibilities.

These past few weeks, I've been thinking about the decisions I made and the things I regret.

Why did I do those horrible things to him? I could have avoided it in the first place, but I chose to play with fire.

When Yuuta learned the truth, he ended our relationship smoothly. He didn't show his wrath or anger. He just ended it, maturely.

Well, he did threaten me slightly. But I understand that. I should accept it since I was in the wrong. I know that he loves his family and cares for my mom too. We've been close since we were little, and he always puts them first as priorities.

Yuuta seems scared that they will find out what I did, so it's better to hide it from them. That's why, as long I kept this secret, Yuuta won't hate me.

Even after we broke up, he didn't ignore me, and we are still pretty much like we used to be, except I don't have the privilege to be clingy with him.

I see him becoming happier after that, which makes my heart shatter even more.

"S-Shinomiya, please go out with me."

Behind the school, there's a guy in front of me who put this letter in my locker.

"Sorry, I just broke up, so I don't want a new relationship anytime soon. Please understand it. I'm sorry."

I said, then walked off. But then I heard people talking in front of me, so I hid somewhere and peeked at them.

There's a tall man with black hair and a broad back that I know really well and a girl who is one of the popular girls in school.

Yuuta got another confession again.

"Ahaha. Thank you, I appreciate this. But, I couldn't handle any relationship now, so sorry."

"Co-Could you please consider it again?"

She's cute, but please just reject her, Yuuta.

"Sorry, we could just be friends."

The girl seems about to cry.

"Is it because you want to date your ex again?"

I tremble.

"Natsuha?"

My heart skips a beat.

"Look. I don't like talking bad about anyone behind their back. But we're just friends."

Just tell her. It's alright, I don't mind it. Please! I also want to know your thoughts about me.

"Ah, I'm sorry! Then, can I become close to you like her?"

"Yeah? Ah, sure."

"It's settled then! I know a good place nearby. Are you okay with karaoke?"

Why is she so insistent?

"I'm sorry, but next time. I've got something to do now."

"Ah, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm off then!"

The girl rushes off with her ears blushing red.

"Come out, you sneaky little squirrel."

Ah! I was found out.

"It-it's me, Yuuta."

"You again? Sigh..."

"I just, you know... the same as you."

"Poor guy."

He said, then walked away. I followed him and kept some distance. I looked down since I was shy, and guilt still weighed on my heart.

I peeked from behind, I could see his broad back. When the wind passed by, I could smell his good scent; I understood that girl's feelings before and why Yuuta, was more popular than before.

Yuuta is more mature now and growing better as a person and as a man. He's cleaner, taller, and bigger this month. I can't handle him like before, and it makes me nervous like I have a crush on him.

"Yu-Yuuta. Do you want to go to the cafe with me?"

I said it.

"Sorry, Natsuha. I'm working now."

He said shortly, his gaze might look forward, but he seemed to be looking beyond.

"Right, I'm sorry."

"Ah, that reminds me. Mom said to come later for dinner. If you're busy—"

"I'll go. I mean—I'm sorry for bothering you a lot."

"Okay, hm? Hello? Ah, you arrived? Cool. I'm on my way to the gate. Thank you."

He got another call like before.

We don't see each other outside of school that often. When we pass each other, I see him, and he just says hi and goes somewhere. I don't know, but he's so busy now.

When we arrived at the school gate, a woman in a business suit seems waiting for Yuuta. After that. They talked, and I could see another side of Yuuta; he seemed to be talking like an adult.

"I didn't know that you were still a student."

The woman said, and Yuuta laughed.

"They say you should never tell your next move. How is your trip, Iida-san?"

"That's right! Mou~ I thought you were a teacher before. The trip was nice, and I forgot the last time I was in Kyoto. Ara~ must be the girlfriend. So pretty~," the woman looked at me and I just looked away shyly.

"Ah, my childhood friend, Shinomiya Natsuha. Natsuha, this is Iida Ayano," Yuuta said. The woman reached out her hand to me.

"Iida Ayano, it's nice to meet you, young lady."

"Yes, me too. Shinomiya Natsuha. Nice to meet you."

The woman tilted her head, "Sigh~ a pair of beautiful young people. It's such a waste if you didn't date this handsome guy, ya know?"

"Ah, well, I-I—"

I'm so happy that I stuttered but then...

"Hey, isn't that Yamano-san?"

"Where?"

"Kyaaaa~ So handsome~ But why is he with her? Didn't they already break up?"

Both Ayano-san and I went silent when we heard a bunch of girls talking in the distance.

"A-Ah, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you both..." Ayano said with shame.

"N-No, it's alright."

Just now. Why this is felt so hurt?

Yuuta cleared his throat. "Well, shall we go then?"

"Ahem! Of course, sensei. Please hop in. I've already reserved the best place for this. Well then, Shinomiya-san, it's nice to meet you again."

"Ah, yes..."

Wait, sensei? What did that mean?

"Call me by my name, please. That nice car by—Ah, Natsuha."

Yuuta glanced back at me after ignoring me for a while.

"If you want to head home, it's cool. Sorry, I need to handle something first."

"Yes. I was about to go home. It's okay, Yuuta. Then, see you later."

He nodded, "Take care."

He went inside the car and they drove off somewhere. It hurts. It hurts so much like my stomach is twisted. I hate it. I want to know where he went with that woman, and what he's going to do. but who am I to him? It hurts! I wanna die. Even though he was nice to me, I felt so empty. And I can feel the distance between us growing.