5/16 early morning
I felt a bit better when I woke up. Not great, but better. My working arm was basically back to normal, and most of my torso was in pretty good shape. I had pins and needles beneath my waist, which I hope meant that my dick would be ok by lunch. No need for my legs if the girl is doing all the work, right fellas? I'm sorry, I have to find joy where I can right now.
There was a dark green potion on my end table, which I drank, and Annetta was sleeping next to me. Aww, cute. I woke her up, she cast a renew and checked my progress, then she left for the kitchen to fix me some breakfast.
I called up Sadie, "Hey. Erich here. How'd it go?"
"Oh. You can speak through this?"
"Yep. You can too, to anyone in the team. There's some other things it can do on top of that, but transport and communication are the big ones. So, how did they take Caledra's proposal?"
"Well… we haven't had much success with the high elves up to now. Getting a request for aid troubles Lord Maxwell. He doesn't know if he can trust it, especially with the strangeness of me vanishing for a time. There have been many attacks on the chapel, and not all of them have been direct."
"That's fine. I won't be angry if they are slow to trust. I'll just need to put in a bit of effort and earn it. While it's important to Caledra, I don't think her people are in much immediate danger. My visions tell me they will last for a few years yet." Specifically until Cataclysm, though I definitely didn't intend to make them wait that long. Caledra was a ranger. Maybe I could just send her to make her way home with an amulet alone, or with a small group? Presumably if she came from there she'd made the journey before. Yeah. I was going to go with that unless she objected.
And then… I could send them to Southshore, where Tony was! Who cared about immediately teleporting them directly to their new lodge? If I got them somewhere relatively safe, where they would be traveling entirely through friendly territory the rest of the way, that's that job done. Hell, Quel'Danil lodge was in the Hinterlands. I could probably get military support against the dragon there, Emeriss, as part of the deal. An endless tide of robots was nice and all, but I was almost out of those and a few dozen Calendras doing hit and run would probably also do the trick, if I had an extra dragon or two thrown into the mix.
I pulled my newest necklace out of my inventory. The first was a complicated web of diamonds, so I tossed that back into the ether and pulled out a bronze pendant with an inlaid topaz. I sent it to Sadie, "Get this to Caledra, if you can. After that, come back here when you have spare time." I got confirmation, and closed the line.
I moved on to my missions. As I hoped, Vanessa got the job done overnight. One more mission ticket in the bag, and a new regional mission.
Westfall, Old Murk-eye, raid leader of the Westfall Murlocs
Relationship shift, disguise Etiquette
Scraping the bottom of the barrel there, eh? Murk-eye was a bit infamous, but a huge step down from Edwin. He was a pretty average murloc; individually not much stronger than his minions and with very little distinguishing him except that he pissed off a ghost pirate. Note: recruit ghost pirate?
Relationship Shift
Shift the nature of a relationship between two people by pointing this rod at each of them and willing it. This will not change whether it is a positive or negative relationship or its intensity, but you may choose whether it is affected in one or both directions. For example, you could turn lovers into best friends or vice versa, or could convince one member of a couple that they were only ever friends. This would likely sour the relationship, as only one person will remember their original relationship; others, such as their mutual friends, will remember them as just friends. Similarly, a murderer and the lover of one of their victims who had sworn vengeance could have their relationship reframed into a bitter rivalry, the aftermath of a particularly nasty breakup, or even a particularly abusive marriage. Memories of everyone aware of the relationship will change to fit the narrative.
Disguise Ettiquette
Grants all retinue members using their amulet to make a disguise a limited variant of communication talent, limited to informing them about general etiquette and social customs that their false identity would be aware of, and warning them when they might be in breach. It does not extend to particular interactions within smaller social groups of less than 10 people.
Pretty good rewards though. Not quite as much punch as hybrid runes or alluring whisper, but definitely usable. Plus, the fact that he's an easy target means that I could "feed" him to one of my girls strategically. Probably someone that was giving me diminishing returns, or someone who had a unique skillset. Lividia and Drusilla could be brought up to par with the more elite members of my team, or I could see about pushing Doris or Abby to an even higher level. I was pretty sure Onyxia didn't need the power boost, but I'd at least consider it.
Speaking of regional mission promotions, Talaada's limited soul talent was going to get a workout while I'm bedridden. I had missed a lot of the battle, but I'd seen a bit of what Sadie was capable of and by the time I was walking I wanted my retinue to have at least three people on that level: Sadie, Talaada, and me. I wasn't sure exactly how much we would be able to learn in three days, or how much Sadie might grow into Confessor Paletress in that time, but we needed to start somewhere. Sadie had told me that more healing wouldn't do much more than ease the pain when my limbs were this far gone, but not much does not mean nothing, so I was absolutely ready to be the target dummy for Talaada's early lessons. Until then, obsessively going over missions.
The path of the armorsmith
Bring Gromnus Steelshaper a hand crafted ornate Mithril breastplate, made according to his specifications.
Reward: mission ticket
Nope. Not worth the materials, time, or effort. Down with mission tickets. Hard Pass.
An Earnest Proposition
Convince Raena Flinthammer to assist the mercenary Deliana in acquiring 15 blood samples from the beasts of Winterspring.
Rewards: Mission Ticket, Seal of joy
What? No! That is so much worse. Convincing someone to go to another continent to fight some of the highest level animals in the setting is not even close to being a mission proportional to a mission ticket and a seal of joy. Not even remotely. You know what? Fuck Ironforge. Tony, you're getting tomorrow's minor mission.
Unless I wanted to antagonize the Argent Dawn, I couldn't just steal one of their priestesses full time, not until I had a more solid alliance with them. So I'd only get her when she was off duty or could otherwise be spared. That meant that I needed some other way to kill time, beyond getting lessons from my hot teacher. I made a list, taking another swig of potion. It had a syrupy texture and an aftertaste like muddy leaves. I could already tell I'd hate these potions a few days from now.
I started by planning what everyone else would be doing. Making an itinerary of things I was capable of doing felt like it would be a bad move. I might depress myself if it's too short, and I'd be at a loss if I made a list and then ran through the whole thing in a day or two.
Alright. Heavy combat may need to wait. Not only did I intend to monopolize the best healer in the retinue and most of the good trollsblood potions, all of my dragons except Talaada are in recovery after that chain lightning. I'd love to take the opportunity to burn down the Raven Hill Cemetery and get my damn cape, but we chewed through a lot of our potions and most of Ursula's soul shards. My team needed to recover before going to war again.
Of course, I don't think the Tower of Morganth is going to be very heavy on dragons. What with it being indoors and all. A strong team of ground troops, who didn't use magic, the same ground troops that I didn't want to risk against the dragons, would tear through the gnolls and dogs. Hopefully they could then kill the big baddie at the top. I wanted more potions and soul shard consumables if they'd be going in with few or no healers, though. Maybe Hamhock or a couple of these ghost druids could serve as support, but they'll be a distinct minority. I'll save the exact composition for when the souls have been harvested.
Alright. That's two people sorted: Drusilla and Ursula farm soul shards for the next big fight at the tower, preferably by burning through gnolls or Blackrock Orcs with some of the more open minded of the rampant lions. Eh, fuck it. Drusilla with a few Lions handpicked by Irma, Ursula teaming up with the new druids. I wasn't sure if I trusted them to interact with the nightmare any further, but slaughtering trash mobs seems entirely within the twisted phantoms' wheelhouse. For added points, have the druids and Ursula masquerade as gnolls so that any retaliation is to my benefit.
Obviously I wanted to set things up near the other nightmare dragons. I might be able to launch another tide of harvest golems at one of them, but it probably wouldn't work as well with fewer golems and more enemies. I'd like to have allies. Looking at each of the locations, I considered my options.
In the Hinterlands I was already planning on bringing along some high elves, but it was also close to a rather powerful faction: the Wildhammer clan of dwarves. The Wildhammers are a bunch of absolute mad lad griffon riders who are sort of members of the Alliance, but only loosely. I'd expected to see more of them, they were the fast travel system in the game, but the one or two times I'd asked around about griffon riders, mostly out of curiosity, I'd found out that they mostly just carry mail and news as they patrol from place to place. Hiring one to give you a ride is not as easy as I'd been led to believe.
That aside, if there was any faction inclined to hear about a giant psychotic dragon in their territory and immediately saddle up, it was the Wildhammers. They'd put in the work, too. Many of the griffon riders are shaman, skilled at throwing explosive hammers that return to their hands, or cutting out the middleman and shooting lightning bolts. They might be able to win the fight themselves with a bit of warning. Of course, they'd also be more likely to ask questions if I did anything too "fun" and would almost certainly expect a share of the loot. Possibly the corpse, too. Dragon parts are great crafting materials if you aren't overly concerned about the fact that they are sentient people.
Feralas has Feathermoon Stronghold, one of the largest night elven military bases in Kalimdor, led and named after General Shandris Feathermoon, who was probably the highest ranking night elf I knew of that wasn't basically a demigod. Maybe Maiev Shadowsong outranked her. In certain contexts.
In any event, if I approached them wearing scalygreenface or had Ysondre do the talking for me once she was feeling better, I could probably get the full support of the Sentinels. They might even believe me when I said that it was important to disable, rather than kill, Taerar. They were also, however, definitely among the most judgy factions about things like warlocks and necromancers, so I'd need to leave Ursula and Abby at home if I brought the sentinels.
Ashenvale was probably the worst situation. I might be able to get some support, but almost certainly not from the Alliance; they'd need to march an army through enemy territory to get to the portal. The Horde would probably also be willing to join in on a good scrap if I presented myself right, just like the Wildhammers, but unlike the Wildhammers their nearest settlement is a logging camp. A highly militarized one, but still. They were here for trees, not dragons. I think this one might be the last one I do, and I'll bring the remaining harvest reapers along, and probably also go ahead and use the Nightmare Skitterer on Lethon just to be extra sure it all goes according to plan. The positioning is just shit, but hopefully a 4v1 elder dragon battle with a robot army fighting in the background and a fucking Xenomorph thrown in for flavor would resolve in my favor. If everything between then and now goes well.
Well. With at least a cliff notes version of a plan for each of the dragons in place, what else?
I noticed that Tony was in Southshore. I got a little smile. "Hey, Tony."
"Uh, yeah bossman?" I heard the clink of him putting down a cup.
"I want you to look for a woman named Calia in Southshore. She should be a mother of one daughter, and her husband used to be a soldier but I'm not sure about now. She used to be the princess of Lorderon, and I want her to wear one of my necklaces."
"Uh. Sure; any reason you got me doin this? I'm pretty sure people will be nervous if I start asking around." Shit. He was right. Tony is a cool dude but he's also a giant bruiser. Hmm. Tessa. She could play the part of a messenger sent to covertly find a princess, I think. More importantly, through the power of sexism and classism people will be less threatened by the pretty blonde woman in shiny plate armor asking around than the actually less dangerous and less heavily armed man. In an ideal world I'd send Vanessa, but she's kinda busy with the Defias for now.
Note to self: if Tessa can't find Calia, send Vanessa and Darcell together. Or Prudence, once she has her own brain again. I need Darcell to start picking up infiltration and spycraft. In the meantime, "alright, fair point. Once I send Tessa to relieve you, I want you to get close to this monastery in Tirisfal, without making contact with the people there. You think you can do that? I'll send someone to swap places with you later."
"Oh yeah. Sure, that I can do. Do I get to know why I should avoid them?"
"They are kinda nuts. If they think you might be infected with the plague or a threat to them, or if you happen to meet someone particularly dickish, they'll just try to kill you on sight."
"Ah. Ok. Yeah that checks out."
"Stay safe."
Last but not least, I sent Eliza orders to catch and cage some worgen. She had authority to use any of the undead or ogres in the area, especially Stitches, but not humans. That was another thing I'd been putting off too long.
I wanted to get someone on the job for Mori Hildelve, but I wasn't sure who yet. Probably Dremuus, but he would cause a fuss if I just had him suddenly appear in the middle of Ironforge. Even if I transformed him or disguised him, he reeks of fel corruption. Prudence and Auffrey would be heading to Kharanos next; I'd just have them call him on the way there then part ways.
My stomach rumbled. What was taking Annetta so long? I'd gotten a bit hyperfocused, but she'd been gone for more than an hour at this point. I was starting to worry.
5/16 morning
I summoned Pryzhum; she was the only person in my retinue that I was pretty sure didn't have anything better to do. I faintly regretted that she didn't have her own amulet. Summoning her with a spell took about the same amount of time and a lot more focus in even ideal conditions; one handed, it took me five minutes to get it just right. "What do you want?" She asked plaintively; I noticed that the reddish skinned babe was still topless. She hadn't worn clothes when she was an imp and didn't seem inclined to start now. Far be it from me to deny her such choices.
I turned into my dragon form, "Carry me, carefully, into the other room." I was the size of a modestly large dog, but she was nearly nine feet tall and in peak physical shape; she could lift me easily. My wings were a whole new set of unpleasant sensations, and three of my legs hung limply, but I was mobile if undignified. I spurred my glorious steed down the hall, and found something fairly unpleasant.
The butler and Dena each had a knife, and Annetta was tied to a chair between them. My best guess, almost certainly another case of Martial Talent explaining my fuckups to me, was that they'd drugged her somehow, probably with a dose that was low enough to be "safe" and gently covered her mouth and restrained her arms, then "safely" tied her to one of the chairs and kept dosing her. She was still fighting to stay awake, so they probably wanted to have her totally out before they came into my room to start bargaining with me. I was still a caster, and they didn't know what other magic I might have here.
Everyone froze when Pryzhum stepped into the room, looking bored. I noted that Dena and the butler both seemed pretty nervous about the whole thing, but the noblewoman was far more resolved. Apparently I'd pushed her way too far with that speech; she might be willing to start a cult in my name a day or two from now but until that dam broke? She was pretty sure she needed to stop me at all costs. Monze and the two rogues quickly moved to form a wall between me and the people capable of violence.
"Alright," the rogue on the left, a black haired woman who had the scars and bent nose to show how many fights she'd gotten into, "if you don't want her dead, you're going to take these fucking collars off us and let us go." Really a very reasonable request, actually.
"That's your plan?" I asked, trying to sound bored. "You're going to threaten one of my servants? For what?"
"We won't be your slaves. We will take what leverage we can."
I waved that off with one claw. "No, I mean do you think this will work? Or are you just really enthusiastic about the opportunity to murder someone before you have to start working for me?"
Monze growled. Apparently that was a yes on the murder thing.
"Annetta is a sweet girl. You'll be killing her for nothing." I tried to point out.
"She's your puppet."
"What do you even think I do? Or what my goals are? I'm saving the world here." Wow I sounded like a narcissist, but I had A good feeling about this line of reasoning. "I didn't really intend to do anything particularly heinous with any of you, despite the fact that three of you have tried to kill me, and one of you raped one of my servants. Dena, I'm sorry about you actually. The spell I cast on Prestor, who is a black dragon by the way, had an area of effect and you got caught in it. I committed to helping Calendra for that very reason; I support my people. I intended to keep you doing what you normally do in service to the crown, once I could trust you. Which, obviously, I can't now."
Neither Dena nor the butler really wanted to hurt Annetta, but Dena was the one who would be easier to trigger. She didn't trust herself right now, so she'd decided that if she thought I was trying anything she'd swing without thinking too hard. The butler, if he'd been the only free one present, would have been really easy. Point at any other girl in the room and say he can have her to do with as he pleased, and he'd betray the lot. But that kind of bargaining would get Dena to go apeshit, and she was the better fighter of the two. All purely formal training with no combat experience, but definitely enough to be a threat to Annetta, me, and maybe even Pryzhum, skill chip or no.
"Look, if you put down the weapon, nothing bad will happen. I'm willing to negotiate, but I don't take threats well." They were unconvinced. I really didn't like the look of this, but I decided that I needed a Hail Mary. "The first one of you to put down the knife gets to decide what happens to all five of you." That made the butler falter, lowering his knife, and that's all I needed.
First of course I cast power word shield on Annetta. Then I hit Dena with Fear, while screaming for my Satyr to take her down. I was fucking terrified thanks to my spell, but luckily Dena wasn't a fighter deep down. Her panic response was to try to flee into the corner after one swing of the knife, which was absorbed by my spell. Pryzhum battered the three pacifists aside and smashed into Dena, pinning her while she cowered in the corner. The fear spell eventually wore off, and I regretted deeply that I never learned how to cast it normally, instead of as a shadow word. It was very unpleasant, but I'm pretty sure Pain or Weakness might have slowed down my recovery even more than being physically dropped on the floor.
"Alright. Now that things have calmed down a bit," I spoke from my position, awkwardly splayed out with my neck craned around to see the room, "I'm very disappointed in all of you, but I am not a particularly vengeful person." I shifted my focus to my amulet, taking full advantage of my flexible neck, to call in a vengeful person. "Irma, be a dear and teleport to Vanessa. Vanessa, when you have a moment I need you to come here." I looked over at the butler. He'd put his knife down, committing to his status as an opportunistic little shit. "Good man. I promise, you'll be very happy with your reward."
Vanessa appeared next to me and looked around with a concerned expression. Her two comrades looked at her with dispair when they saw the amulet; how dramatic. "So. These five tried to threaten me in my own home. That one," I nodded at the butler, "thought better of it, so I think he should be rewarded. Neutralize him first." His eyes widened, but Vanessa was on him before he registered what I'd said. She was *much* faster than I remembered; she almost seemed to teleport behind him. Coming into her own as a max level heroic mode only boss, it seemed.
"Like I said. He deserves a reward, so make sure he's happy at the end of the process. Figure out how to keep them all safely stored away; if you can make them get captured more quickly, do it. I trust your judgment as far as their programming."
The butler, as he started to pass out from the poison on Vanessa's blade, mumbled "but you said…"
"Yeah. I lied. I do that to people threatening friends of mine. Sucks to be you." I looked over at Dena. "Leave her. Put this on her though." I summoned the complex diamond necklace I'd discarded earlier. It plopped on the floor next to me, and Vanessa put it on Dena. She was 72 hours from capture, as was common with people I was double dipping with. That was fine. I wasn't necessarily going to be keeping it on her for long.
Lying to Erich: deep shame
Refusing to answer Erich's Questions: deep shame
Answering Erich's questions: euphoria
I interrogated her about the little insurrection while Vanessa drugged the three others to happy town. It was about what I'd expected. When the druids left, the black haired assassin went through her pockets and found a bit of sleeping powder she kept stored, then they all cooked up the plan together overnight. That's what I get for trying to be nice and giving the prisoners freedom of movement. Fuck me, right?
After I'd gotten her used to promptly and honestly answering my questions, I abruptly asked her "do you love me?"
"Yes of course I love you." The physical effects weren't as pronounced on Dena as they were on some of the girls; she'd already been in great shape. The look on her face on the other hand? Priceless.
"You tricked me!" The shock was starting to dissolve into amusement.
"Yeah, I did. Couldn't risk a repeat, after all. You could have killed me, if you'd decided to. Or if I hadn't come out to check. Thanks by the way, I learned a bit."
"Well. Like I said. I can't take much credit for the plan."
I shrugged my one draconic shoulder. "No worries. Any chance you know how to cook at all?"
Dena nodded and moved to the kitchenette to finish the potatoes that Anetta had started, somewhat surprisingly. She was a fairly rich noblewoman who knew how to cook? Times must be tough. Thankfully Anetta had been interrupted before they'd been put on any heat; I don't like wasting food. I waited, propped up on the table; it was nice to have a small change in scenery.
"Pryzhum. There's a green dragon in the closet in the hallway. Bring him here. I have something I want to test." I wasn't terribly hopeful, given that as far as I knew the only thing that ever healed nightmare corruption in canon was literal divine intervention, but I had to try. I'd recently been reminded that my control over people with a collar on was still quite limited. Given the remote chance that it would let him take off the amulet without curing him of corruption, I wanted to try this on the little one. To be extra careful, I called in a few carefully selected undead gnolls to serve as a bodyguard. I felt much better with a handful of tall grey dog girls ready to pounce.
When the perpetually paralyzed green dragon was carried out to me, I pulled out the insignia of the alliance from my inventory and slid it down to the other end of the table. "Put that in his foreclaws. Be ready for anything." He held the medallion, and to my shock it actually worked. Sort of. He only woke up for a few moments, and while he looked wary he also looked relieved. Then he dozed off again, less than 10 seconds later. The nightmare would not be denied that easily.
I checked his ETE and was pleasantly surprised; he had been scheduled to fall fully under my power at a bit before midnight on 5/17. Now? At around noon, 5/17. The medallion was depleted for the next hour or so, but apparently a dwarven apartment with a black dragon, a human, four undead and a satyr looming over him was an absolute step up from whatever he was dealing with on the other side. Poor bastard, especially since he wouldn't be getting another glimpse any time soon. Ysondre had seniority, power, and probably a much more attractive visage over him. Plus she was apparently a healer. I like healers. I'm something of a healer myself, in fact.
I checked my app; it looked like Abby was guarding the portal mostly alone, in terms of people with amulets. Probably so that she could yoink more ghosts if they appeared. I approved, as long as she stayed careful. She was smart. I trusted her sense of self preservation and ruthlessness enough to assume she had plenty of undead with her. That basin would be a good spot to store my extra undead, actually. Nobody ever went that deep into the forest on accident.
Looks like she'd bullied Auffrey into sending over her amulet, since she'd been working off of Stitches and Nadira for a while. I didn't love that she did it, but I think I need to distribute at least a few of these things back to my own retinue. Eliza didn't have one for herself either. I sent Dena's to her, through Stitches, and a few of the other new ones went to Auffrey through Prudence, and Dremuus through Talaada. Capture was great and all, but logistics is king.
We had, with some effort, managed to lift Ysondre and teleport her to the Complex that was slowly being built in the Swamp of Sorrows. It wasn't ideal, but I couldn't fit her in my apartment and the basin next to the portal was using her as a connection to the real world. Once she'd been taken away, the reinforcements had gone from roughly hourly groups to only one nightmarish creature in the last four hours. I sent Talaada to look after her, and suggested that she disguise herself as a night elf to speak to the spooked dragon when she woke.
I felt good about doing something productive even in my current state. I took my bottle of green mud without complaint and ate my slightly under seasoned potatoes in peace. I'd get restless again soon, I was sure.