章 4: Chapter 4
This was Long Night Nails, the terror of Xiaoyue Pavilion. Or, as those who knew her called her:
"Xue Shi," Yan Lan groaned, flopping back down onto the bed. Her voice was scolding and tired. "You can knock to let me know you're coming in. Or say my name before you get so close! I almost passed out from fear!"
The infamous Long Night Nails, Xue Shi, tilted her head and grinned down upon Yan Lan, eyes glittering with satisfaction. "That wouldn't be as fun. Anyways, I was in this room before you. You were just too tired to notice me when you came in, so I thought I would sneak up behind you to get up close and make you blush…" Xue Shi's voice was flirtatious, and yet sarcastic at the same time.
Yan Lan groaned again and rolled onto her stomach, planting her face right into her wooden pillow's covering. "...You…All right, fine…This time it was my fault for not noticing you…But you know I'm preoccupied! That man earlier, he was saying horrible things about you! And now I'm in trouble again for trying to beat him up…I don't know what came over me, I never get angry like that…I never get that violent…"
Xue Shi sighed, lying down luxuriously next to Yan Lan and playing with a strand of Yan Lan's chestnut-brown hair. "It's natural to get angry when you're insulted," She said matter-of-factly. Her voice was like a deep velvet casing, soothing and sensual. "What's unnatural is the way you're always so calm, letting people walk all over you, A-Lan. Every time you get truly angry and fight someone, it's always for someone else's sake. Mine today, Li Tang's last week…" She leaned forward close to Yan Lan's ear, lowering her voice to a whisper. "...Me, I don't need your protection. I know how to fight back for myself. You should stay out of my customers' matters and protect yourself instead, hmm?"
Yan Lan froze a little, hunching her shoulders and frowning deeply at this. "But…you didn't hear what he said, A Shi. He said…He said so many things. He said you were such a…bitch that he was going to murder you! And he sounded like—"
"That's enough." Xue Shi suddenly pulled slightly on Yan Lan's hair, causing Yan Lan to squeak in pain, but also shut up. "Don't try to protect me, A Lan. Think about yourself first. Got it?" Yan Lan nodded, looking glum. The two girls lay there for some time, resting in silence as Xue Shi fiddled with the seams of Yan Lan's outfit and Yan Lan grew sleepy.
An hour later, long after Yan Lan had fallen asleep, Xue Shi left and returned with two portions of dinner: two bowls of stewed oxtail soup and two bowls each of wheat dumplings, along with two cups of red tea. She shook Yan Lan awake, and the two women sat and ate together.
"I've saved up some money," Yan Lan mumbled through a mouthful of wheat dumpling, then swallowed. Her eyes had brightened a little compared to earlier. "If I continue to save at this rate, it's possible I can buy my freedom in five years! Maybe ten. It depends on how often Madame Mei pays me."
Xue Shi's eyes flickered darkly for a moment. She stirred her soup with a spoon. "...You still want to run away, huh?"
"...Huh?" Yan Lan's eyes widened. "Run away? No! That would be crazy! Madame Mei has so much influence in Yougu…they'd probably find me right away, and who knows what would happen then…"
"...Then, you're still planning to buy your freedom."
"...Yes." Yan Lan swallowed, looking down. Her face seemed a bit guilty, for some reason. She looked up, eyes hopeful. "A Shi! Come on, you're one of the highest-paid courtesans here! If you save up, I'm sure we could buy our freedom together! We can live together, outside of Yougu!"
In response, Xue Shi silently sipped a spoonful of soup, then continued to stir it. Her eyes were narrowed, and her expression sour. Or was that a hint of bitterness? Resentment? "A Lan," She said, her voice thin. "You're one of the most popular courtesans at Xiaoyue. You really won't consider trying to work your way to the top? Become a masterful courtesan that people from all over Fu travel to see, making one hundred golden taels for every performance? We…you could be famous. You don't have to leave Xiaoyue to live your life."
Yan Lan's face fell with each word from Xue Shi's mouth. She seemed to shrink into herself, her grip on her wooden spoon loosening by the second. When she spoke, it seemed she couldn't meet Xue Shi's eyes.
"...A Shi…I'm not like you."
"How so?" Xue Shi's eyes flashed darkly, boring into Yan Lan.
"...You know I'm not like you."
"What about you is so different from me?" Xue Shi's lip curled bitterly, and she put her spoon down. "Is it that I deserve the life of a courtesan, while you deserve to be pure and live a respected life? Am I naturally dirty?"
"No! No, that's not it at all!" Yan Lan waved her hands desperately, shaking her head.
"Then what is it?"
"I'm…A Shi, I'm the dog of Xiaoyue Pavilion!" Yan Lan burst, firsts curled. She wasn't angry, but tears had begun to form in her eyes. "I'm the dog of Xiaoyue, A Shi! You know this! Every year, for so many months. If you fight back when a customer touches you wrongly, you're praised—it's what they expect from you. They even want it! But with me…they expect someone small, gentle, soft to beat up and throw to the ground! If I fight back, I get thrown in prison, I get whipped, I lose my meals and my pay. I may be the most popular courtesan of Xiaoyue, but it's as a dog to abuse that I'm popular for. It's YOU who's the most respected!" Yan Lan wiped at her eyes furiously, reaching for her spoon and then deciding against it—her hand was shaking too much. "We're both twenty. We've been working as courtesans for four years, and before that, our whole lives as servant girls. No matter how hard I work, how many men and women I please, how much I kowtow to Madame Mei and stay quiet like I'm expected to, I will never grow more respected. My pay stays the same because Madame Mei knows I can't afford to argue with her. This place might be somewhere you can rise to the top, but I'll forever sink to the bottom! I wasn't made to fight my way up in a place like this! I'm like a dog that can't be trained to bark, no matter how hungry I am!"
Xue Shi's face had been gradually softening with each sentence from Yan Lan's lips, but at the last sentence, her face hardened again. She sat very still and sipped the last of her soup from the spoon, then set it down with a small thunk. Her black eyes raised to Yan Lan's tearstained face.
"...A place like this?" Xue Shi murmured sarcastically, tilting her head to the side. "...So you think you could fight your way to the top outside of here?"
Yan Lan wiped her eyes, face red with humiliation, and turned sideways to hide her face. "...I don't need to rise to the top. I just need to be able to live."
Xue Shi opened her mouth, face softening again, and yet bitter at the same time. Then she closed it again and breathed in deeply, closing her hand into fists and resting her long, golden nails on her palms.
A golden-nailed hand reached out and rested on Yan Lan's trembling shoulder, firm and yet gentle.
"I get it," said Xue Shi, face sympathetic. "...I'll…We'll figure it out."
Yan Lan looked up, tawny-brown eyes wide and brimming with salty tears. She shifted, and soon enough, she and Xue Shi were embracing each other gently, Yan Lan hiccuping tearfully and Xue Shi patting her back, eyes closed.
"We'll figure it out," Xue Shi muttered firmly. "We'll both get to live. In…the ways we need to."
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