章 98: Chapter 97 - Lily's Thoughts and Feelings.
[Chapter Size: 2200 Words.]
Third Person POV
Hogwarts.
...
...
"You won't tell me?!" Snape was walking as the redhead behind him kept muttering a few words during their trek into the forest.
"You've already heard what I said about it," Severus replied, walking and looking straight ahead.
"But why did you do something so crazy? It doesn't make sense..." Lily murmured.
"I said this is how I am now. I only brought you because I wanted to show you that I shouldn't be sought after, although I had to stay with you because those Aurors appeared when I arrived..." Severus commented as they walked towards the gate of the castle.
The sun was rising over the mountains at that moment, with a few rays illuminating Hogwarts.
"..." Lily looked at him from behind, still trying to understand him, but it was impossible. Snape was never easy to communicate with, often lost in his thoughts about many subjects. But Lily understood him most of the time, as he was both direct and enigmatic to her, more than anyone had ever been.
Yet, Lily somehow felt worried about him and had a desire to get to know him better. She didn't understand why Snape treated her like air or even an annoyance sometimes.
Since she couldn't figure out why he had done what he did, she decided to change the subject, as she had other questions. "Who was that witch who grabbed me?" Lily asked.
"Her... I don't know exactly, just a nuisance I encountered once. I got rid of her this time after she deceived me back there..." Snape murmured, a bit frustrated, thinking that he had killed her at first.
"Even so, you helped me..." Lily murmured as Snape finally reached the gate.
"Here I can already use my silent teleportation, unlike Apparition..." He ignored Lily and muttered, looking in another direction while the castle courtyard was still empty, though people would start showing up in a few hours, after all, today was Saturday.
"Hm?" Lily was surprised as Snape took hold of her shoulder just before her world changed. She teleported with him through a shadow, and they reappeared in one of the corridors inside the castle as shadows, more specifically, in front of the Gryffindor portrait, the place from where Snape had originally teleported her to the forest.
"You can go, goodbye," Severus said, still with his indifferent tone.
"Wait..." She didn't let him leave as she grabbed his hand, and Snape was already tired of her doing this since yesterday.
"What is it this time...?" He looked at her while she kept her head lowered.
"Even though I was drunk last night and you don't want to tell me why you did it... still... you saved me from that witch..." She stepped closer to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, without looking at him at any moment, before running away, leaving Snape raising an eyebrow at her, watching her still in the dress from last night as she headed towards the Gryffindor entrance.
"Your clothes... they're still stained with blood. You should clean yourself." Lily heard Snape's words as she reached the portrait that served as the entrance to her house. She looked back, surprised by his comment, only to see the shadow left behind where Snape had been, but he was no longer there.
"..." Lily couldn't help but smile at the comment, noticing her clothes were indeed stained with blood. She took out her wand and made a soft motion to clean herself before turning back to the portrait, speaking the password to the Fat Lady.
"Fairy Lights," she said the password.
Then, she entered, trying to sneak back to her room, with no students yet circulating in the Gryffindor common room. However, a few were already focused on their books, preparing for the final exams, and she passed by them unnoticed, heading to her dormitory in the girls' room.
Once there, she carefully opened the door, trying to reach her bed while her roommate seemed to be asleep. However, as soon as Lily took her first step, the sleeping girl's eyes flew open in alarm, and she turned towards Lily.
"Lily Evans!! By Merlin, where have you been all night?!" She exclaimed, worried about her friend.
"Tania (OC)... I had a problem..." Lily murmured to her friend.
"Problem?! You disappeared from the party with Severus Snape just before a paint balloon dropped on you... everyone saw it, and Professor Slughorn was not happy with Potter and the others, kicking them out of the gathering." Tania, who had been one of Lily's companions at her table last night and drank with her, spoke about the events after Lily left the gathering with Snape.
"Really... They shouldn't have done that..." Lily murmured.
"Yes, but that doesn't matter now. Where were you all night, especially with Severus Snape?" Her friend questioned with an intense look, wanting to know what Lily had been up to.
"It's complicated... I lost my flask that sobers me up... So..." Lily didn't know how she could explain going to the Forbidden Forest and watching Snape fight off a thousand spiders and a dangerous old woman.
"Lily!!" Before Lily could think of an excuse, having to lie about what she did, her friend grabbed her shoulder with an even more intense look. "Don't tell me you slept with him?!" She exclaimed.
"Hm?!" Lily looked at her friend, confused by those words, trying to figure out what they meant, and a few seconds later, she understood the question, staring at her friend in shock and embarrassment.
"Of course not!! Where did you get that from?!" She shouted at Tania.
"It's okay, my friend. I know you seem to be enchanted by Snape. Most of the girls at school would be interested in him. Do you have any idea how popular he is? But since he already seems to have a specific group of girls, it's very difficult to get close to him, especially with Bellatrix Black around... But you still seem to be important to him..." She kept talking while Lily looked at her with empty eyes as Tania continued rambling.
"But there's something important..." She continued to Lily. "I'm disappointed in you. It's okay to go out with the guy you like... to kiss and make out, but to sleep with him? You shouldn't have done that, because men will see you as easy, and they'll make you fall for them. Then you'll be in the palm of their hand, doing everything they want, and they'll use you however they please..." She said as if she were teaching someone, despite the two being the same age and in their fifth year.
"..." Lily stood there, paralyzed, with a blank stare.
"So, you should start valuing yourself from now on, Lily... but since it's already done, I hope you used some protection... if not, I know a potion that could help." Tania opened her eyes and looked at Lily, who was staring at nothing.
Lily just shook her head, ignoring everything she heard, and moved away from her friend as she headed to her bed, lying down and dismissing all the absurdities her friend had just said.
"Lily..." Tania murmured before approaching again, as she hadn't finished. "Even so, we were worried about you. We went to the Headmaster after we saw you weren't in your room." She said, which made Lily look at her quickly.
"Really?!" She was scared now, as this could cause problems, and she couldn't help but think of Snape. "What did he say?!" Lily asked, desperate for information, not wanting to sleep until she heard everything.
"He didn't even listen to us, can you believe it?! We heard about an incident in the Forbidden Forest, and he said he'd speak with us later." Tania said while Lily relaxed slightly at this news, not believing that what happened in the Forbidden Forest had been reported to the Headmaster.
"Are you okay?! I'm telling you how worried we were about you, Lily... don't act like this." Tania complained.
"It's not that!!" Lily murmured as she turned back to her friend. "So, you came back here?" She asked.
"We had to... but we were all worried, you disappeared drunk... you know we had to come up with an excuse to keep James Potter from coming into the room. He wanted to see you at any cost, but we told him you were sleeping and didn't let him in... He seemed really shaken that you left with Severus Snape... It looks like you have a man in love with you, but you love someone else who's always distant... It sounds so incredible... it's like a romance from one of those Muggle books... so thrilling...!" Tania exclaimed.
"Forget it, I'm going to sleep now..." Lily said, dismissing the conversation as she moved to get comfortable for sleep, even in her dress.
"Alright, I just need to let the others know you got back safely," Tania said, and by then, Lily was already silent.
Her gaze fell to the top of the bunk bed, unable to sleep right away, and now that Tania had left the room, she began to think about a few things.
Everything that had happened tonight was pure madness. She was still in shock, and her thoughts now reflected on everything that had occurred and how she had ended up in the Forbidden Forest with Severus after the party.
Her memories of watching him fight, though from a distance, were vivid. She could see him moving in various directions, appearing as his spell explosions were easy to spot in the middle of that darkness. She wondered how Severus could be in the midst of a crowd of spiders, fighting without any fear. She couldn't help but feel admiration for what she had witnessed, especially since, in the end, he emerged unscathed, with most of the spiders fleeing in fear.
"So, this is the new Severus?" she murmured, feeling embarrassed about what she had said to him during the dance and after the party, when she was under the influence of alcohol. Otherwise, she would never have had the courage to say such things, but even so, she remembered that he had told her she shouldn't be with him.
Severus had said he was constantly in danger, as he had demonstrated to her, even breaking school rules, which could result in the expulsion of both of them. This made her think she was doing things she never would have done before, wondering what was happening to her.
"Why do I care so much about you now, Severus?" she said aloud, but there was no one there to answer. Her eyes were still fixed upward, remembering her friend's words. Then, she opened her eyes slightly and murmured to herself, "Am I in love with Severus!?" This thought immediately frightened her. She found the idea strange, but for some reason, she didn't feel bad about it.
"He cares about me too, doesn't he?" she asked herself, recalling how Severus had cast a protective spell when he was fighting the Acromantulas and when she was attacked by that woman. He had protected her, even though she found the way he handled it terrifying. Still, he had done it for her, and she acknowledged that. Her fingers moved to her chest, where she held the necklace he had left with her, gripping it tightly.
"You left this with me..." she whispered, wondering if perhaps it was a sign that, deep down, he wasn't as indifferent towards her as he appeared.
Lily thought about Snape at that moment, and how he had left her after commenting on her dress, with her only catching a glimpse of his shadow as he disappeared.
"Hm?!" It was at that moment that a sudden thought struck her, clearly recalling the shadow Severus had created to vanish. Another image flashed in her mind as she remembered the shadow disappearing in Hogsmeade after the masked man had eliminated people in the square where she, the professors, and the other students had been. It became clear, especially considering how Severus had fought.
"So, it was you?" She couldn't help but feel stunned. Her first thought was to speak with Severus or even the Headmaster, but if this had happened a year ago, when the Ministry and the Headmaster were investigating the murder, she might have done that.
Though she had to admit that the mysterious man had saved countless people at the cost of the lives of those who had initiated the attack, she was sure the Headmaster would know what to do with that information. Yet, for some reason, she decided to forget that idea. She wanted to protect him. Even knowing that it could be Snape, the man wanted by the Ministry, she would keep it to herself.
Clutching the necklace against her chest, right over her heart, she got lost in her thoughts once again, before finally drifting off to sleep.
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