章 74: Prom
After we dropped my dress and shoes off at my house, Xavier takes me out on a really fun date- we start off at an arcade, joking and playing games together and generally enjoying ourselves. Next we play go-kart, which was really fun since we got to race and be playfully competitive. Next he takes me out for lunch, chatting about the books he had me check out and discussing the plot and storyline- no spoilers, thankfully. Lastly Xavier takes me back to his place, where I get dressed in my horseback uniform as he saddles up two of his horses. "And then it goes like this." Xavier says as he finishes showing me how to properly saddle the horse. "Okay, I get it." I say and he offers me a smile as he points to a saddle on the wall. "That's the saddle that True Beauty came with, she was trained and raced since it would improve her quality as a breeding horse, encouraging more breeders to buy her foal since she has good bloodlines." Xavier says and I hum- the saddle looked very high quality, though it seemed like it had been untouched for quite some time. "Think you can ride on your own?" Xavier asks, making me smile as I easily mount the horse he saddled without a fuss.
"Thank you. Really, it means a lot to me that you're trying to cheer me up." I say as we steadily guide the horses to trot along the trail, Xavier humming softly. "It's no problem at all; you're only here for a small amount of time, but I do want to make you happy while you are here. I know it's not much but… doing what I can, when I can matters. I'll always do my best, even if it's not always enough." Xavier says though I can't help but smile, knowing that I felt the same way. "Thank you… really." I say, Xavier nodding as he glances over to me. "You know… if you're going back to Japan while True Beauty is pregnant, I might not be able to give her all the care she needs as her overseer. I think it would be best if you gave me legal guardianship in your time away, that way I can do what I need to do while you're overseas." Xavier says and I hesitate, dropping my gaze down. "Having to call you every hiccup we get, especially when you're already so stressed… I'll take great care of her, ma belle poussière d'étoile. You can trust me, you know I want what's best for the both of us." He says softly and I blow out a slow breath. "Let me think about it." I say, knowing that I made a promise to True Beauty.
We ride around in silence as I think over his words- it's true, it would be bothersome if he had to call me all the time when it came to hiccups, though it was only on his end. If anything at all happened to True Beauty, I wanted to be there- I had made a promise to always make sure she got the best care possible, after all. She had been in Xavier's care for years now, it's true that she was being very well taken care of, but… giving up custody of her was a big deal, especially when I made a commitment to make sure she never fell into the wrong hands. Not that I consider Xavier the wrong hands- no, not at all. I knew Xavier; but I didn't know his farmhands and True Beauty potentially had a baby on the way. Someday, if possible, I wanted to give her a big pasture to call her own, to graise and live freely upon for the rest of her days. I could of course discuss it with Kioshi- in fact, I probably would. I for sure wanted to get the proper paperwork in form and make sure that it was only a temporary arrangement, nothing long term. Xavier and I rode around for a few more minutes before heading back. He walks me back to my house, seeming to be in his thoughts as well.
"Are you ready, ma belle poussière d'étoile?" Xavier calls, though I just finished using setting spray for my makeup. "Almost." I call, grabbing the mascara that grams bought for me and using it on my long black lashes- it made them pop, accentuating my eyes. Grams was styling my hair- she was a miracle worker, I mean, it was crazy what she could do with my limp black hair. Even though she was only pulling half of my hair into a ponytail, she had curled it and made it beautiful and voluminous. It was beautiful, my bangs hanging like curtains and strands of hair framing my face. "There." Grams says as she finishes fluffing my hair and I finish the last of my makeup. Burgundy lids, a gold eyeliner crease, a maroon shadow, highlight and contour, burgundy lips. "Okay." I say, sliding up and heading over to her bed, grabbing the shoes from the store. I slid them on, pulling off the poncho we had used to protect my dress from my makeup. "How do I look?" I ask, doing a slow spin as my grandma claps enthusiastically. "Oh, Darling. You look absolutely gorgeous, stunning- you're so beautiful! There's no way you won't win prom queen!" She gushes, pulling me into a tight hug and making me laugh.
She ushers me out of the room, humming happily as she guides me out to the living room. "Behold, prom queen!" My grams says as she presents me, everyone turning to look- and I hear a collective swallow. Their eyes all widen, my cheeks burning as I do a slow spin. "So?" I ask shyly, my gramps grinning as he stands, holding out his hand. "You're beautiful, Pumpkin." He says, making me smile as I walk over and place my hand in his. "Thank you, gramps." I giggle as he guides me to do another spin, humming approvingly as he smiles. "Ahh, the memories. Your gram wore a dress like this for our prom, she was the talk of the town for weeks." My grandpa says, grams giggling like a school girl as she comes over. "And you could barely wait to take it off." She chimes, making me laugh as I shake my head. "Oh, come on- TMI." I laugh, making my grandpa laugh as I turn to the others- oh, that was dangerous. The trio was dressed in their suits, looking like a snack- okay, don't stare. I turned to the others- Arthur was dressed in a suit as well, a white dress shirt, a burgundy bowtie, a matching best, suit jacket and pants- the black lining and buttons were a nice touch.
I looked at Judas- she was wearing a red shirt and jeans. "Eh? Judas, what happened to your dress?" I ask and she shyly smiles, itching the back of her neck. "My mom got to it…" She mumbles and I frown, knowing that she had been so excited about wearing it tonight. "Come on, Grams." I say, holding out my hand to Judas as grams nods, jogging upstairs. Judas hesitantly places her hands in mine and I pull her back towards my room, sitting her down on my bed. "Here, try my dress on." I say, carefully stripping it off and holding it out to her. "Huh? But, My Queen-" Judas says, though I shake my head and start digging through my closet. "No buts, Judas. Try it on; if it fits, you can wear it. I know you were excited about today, it means more to me that you enjoy yourself than a silly little dress. I'll be fine, trust me." I say, offering her a smile as she nods, her lip trembling as she strips. I turned back to the closet, digging through- all of my options were too tight, plus I wasn't much of a dress girl back then. Judas takes the dress, carefully slipping it on; I had it altered a bit big for me, considering I wanted it to be breathable- it fit snugly on Judas, a small pool of fabric reaching the floor.
"How does it feel?" I ask, turning to her as she does a small spin. "It feels nice, a bit tight if anything… but that's fine." She says shyly, giving me an anxious glance as I offer her a comforting smile. "You look beautiful, my pet. Go on, I'm going to find an outfit; don't fight me. The dress was a bit loose for my liking, anyway." I say firmly and she hesitantly nods, slipping out of my room without another word. A soft knock sounds on the door and I walk over to the bed, grabbing my bathrobe and sliding it on. "Come in." I call as I walk back over to my closet, continuing to dig through- there really wasn't anything to wear. "If we don't go now, we're going to be late." Xavier says and I cast an anxious glance over, pressing my lips together as I nod. "You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up. It'll take a minute for me to get the dress fitted anyway." I say and Xavier seems to hesitate, glancing back in the hallway. "I'll be fine. There's nothing like being fashionably late, right? That's a totally american thing to do." I say, making him laugh as he comes in and sets a ticket on my table. "Here's your ticket, then. See you when you get there." Xavier says and I nod as he exits, hearing him say something to the others.
They all go on ahead- Arthur had rented a limo, but as luck would have it I missed out on that fun. Oh well, what can you do? At least Judas had a dress and was happy- "I found it. Here, hurry, put it on." Grams says as she comes in with an old hanger bag, holding it out to me. I take it, opening it up and seeing the dress- it was a deep red, off the shoulder dress with a split up to the thigh and a flowing mermaid style skirt. It looked like it would be a little big on me, but Grams had her tool kit on her. I tried it on- yupp, it was loose. She immediately gets to work, pinning certain areas and making it snug. She hums as she works, her hands deft and precise. "Goodness, you're a small girl. Smaller than me at your age, though not by much." She mumbles, making me crack a smile as she pulls the dress off of me in one move. I put my robe back on, following her to her sewing machine- she quickly sows the adjustments, cutting off the excess and making sure it was secure. My grams were actually pretty talented when it came to such things- me and her had styled a lot of our own clothes from things we fancied. We were crafty people, always finding some inspiration from what we saw.
"Okay, I love you sweetie, be safe, have fun." Grams says as she leans over, kissing my cheek and making me smile. "Thank you, Grams." I say, hugging her tight before I step out of the car, dashing up to the ticket office. "Hello! My date is already inside!" I say as I set the ticket down, the booth person nodding and stamping it before nodding their head to the door. I headed inside, getting scanned and checked for anything fishy- I had my carryon which had my inhaler, ID and some spare cash just in case. They give me the go ahead before I step inside, looking over the decorations. Wow, this was actually pretty simple- white cloth hanging from the ceiling out to the edges, curtains covering all the walls and show lights in purple, blue and white. It was filled with dancing teens, making me smile as I look for my friends- I slowly walk around the edges of the gym, hoping to spot them. I spot Arthur first, leaning against the edge of the wall and seeming bored. I quickly work my way over, glancing around. "Hey, where are the others?" I ask and he lifts a solo cup to his lips. "Some are there. Suna and Alexis disappeared and Xavier had a call." Arthur says and I nod, finding my way around.
I hear some soft talking as I round the wall, pausing as I realize it wasn't coming from the prom, but from the wall. I lightly lift the curtain, seeing a gym door- how convenient. I pop the door open, peeking outside- I see Suna. He was pinned to a wall, Alexis holding his tie with her lips pressed against his. I freeze, my chest hurting at the sight- but a thought pops into my mind. Oh, he must be bored of me. I mean, he was avoiding doing anything with me and here he was, kissing a girl. When he wants something… well, here he was in a private area and a girl. My vision blurs with thick tears and I choke out a soft sob, pressing my lips together and knowing I was making a pained face. Suna gently pushes Alexis away, turning to look at me as his eyes widen. "Ah, sorry… I'm interrupting…" I croak, my voice trembling as I quickly shut the door and dash along the wall. God, how could I be so selfish? Of course he would get bored of me… in the end, everyone did. Nobody really wanted me, in the end I would just be alone… it was selfish to think otherwise. I hear the door slam open again, though I notice another door- I quietly slip out, trying not to draw attention to myself as I step into the hall.
"Babe, I already told you, I'm just using her. Everything's going according to plan; I suggested that she give me guardianship of that horse, all I need to do is apply more pressure. As soon as I have guardianship, I can sell the foal as soon as it's born and she can't do anything about it; yes, I know the horse is going to be pregnant. You think I'm an idiot? I tied her up as soon as she left and made sure that the other horse bred her. They're doing it again tonight, just in case." Xavier says, though I feel sick- like, really fucking sick. I felt horrified, betrayed- I slip back out of the door I just slid into, feeling the acid burn in the back of my throat. Xavier… he forced True Beauty to breed. He was using her just like the situation I saved her from- I let that happen. I didn't even realize it- I stormed back over to Arthur, feeling numb and icky. "I was never here. Don't let Xavier leave and don't let him call anyone." I say firmly, seeming to catch him off guard as he slowly nods. "Kimiko!" Suna calls though I dash for the front door- they could be forcing my horse right now, I didn't have the time to doddle. I needed to save True Beauty- Xavier would fucking pay for what he did, but I have a promise to keep.
It's true that I used to have a crush on Xavier when I was a kid- but I had grown out of it a long time ago. His childish antics, trying to show me off and shoving it in others faces- it annoyed me. He was using me like eye candy, I knew it- as a kid I used to think he was a prince, showing me off like a princess. I later realized that wasn't the case and I quickly lost all potential feelings towards him; it wasn't hard to do. He wasn't a bad friend, so I kind of stayed close to him; let alone he seemed to have this affect on my dark, a way of warding it off when I lost control. He also knew how to distract me from my thoughts and feelings, keeping me occupied with fun things- but he never knew how to help, only postpone and procrastinate. Before long I just couldn't imagine ever being in a relationship with him- he was only a friend, though we were close. He took True Beauty in when I needed to give her shelter- I was grateful, of course I would be; not anyone would take on a horse for you. He had the stables and room, he took her on as his own and worked with her. When I moved to Japan, he agreed to keep watching her; I thought he saw her like I did, a beauty with scars who deserved better, deserved happiness.
But in reality, he saw her just like the others did- a cash cow. It made me sick how someone I trusted was using her as a breeding project, especially when I vowed to protect her from that. After all, she had dealt with that enough- I only hoped she had 5 wonderful years in our time apart. In reality, I had no idea how long this had been going on, how long he planned this- but it did not matter. I would take her tonight and he couldn't do anything about it- if he tried to sue, I would just have Kioshi handle it and have Arthur pay any dues. I would never give him custody, I would fight him to the ends of the world if I had to. Where could I take her? Misaki had a farm- could she handle a horse? I could have Arthur pay for the expenses- but I wanted her away, safe, tonight. As soon as possible, really. How would I get her out of there? I arrived at Xavier's house and dash to the back of the barn which was dark and quiet. I peek in, slowly walking in and peeking in True Beauty's stall- she was there. She squealed, moving to the back of her stall- "Hey, hey… it's okay, calm down… I'm here to save you. I'm here to take you away." I whisper, reaching a calm hand out as she neighs.
"It's okay girl, I know… I know… but I'm here to help you, I promise. Come on, trust me- I've saved you once, I'll do it again." I say and she blows, seeming to slowly relax though she was still reluctant. "Okay… okay…" I say, glancing around- a treat would probably help her calm down. I walk to the store area, grabbing a treat- though I spot the saddle from the other day. Xavier said she was trained, that she came with that saddle- that meant it was mine, right? That's why it wasn't touched? I could… Before I can think about it too much I grab the saddle, taking it back over to her stall and setting the saddle on the door. "It's okay, girl." I whisper as I slowly step into the stall, keeping my hands in view for her as she presses her side into the stall. "It's okay." I say calmly, holding my hand out with the treat. "It's me, you can trust me." I whisper softly and she searches me, whinnying softly before she slowly sniffs the treat. "It's for you; go ahead." I say and she nips the treat out of my hand, munching on it. "That's my girl, good girl… it's okay…" I say, slowly beginning to stroke her pelt and calming her down. She slowly relaxes, jutting her head into my stomach and making me smile.
"Come on, let's get you somewhere safe." I say, gently stroking her main as I guide her away from the edge of the stall. "Okay… be patient with me, here." I say, grabbing the blanket and getting it settled in the middle of her back. I make sure it's set before I grab the saddle, moving the hanging stuff out of the way before putting it onto her back. "Gosh, you're tall." I mumble as I get it settled properly on the blanket, making sure it's not too high, on her shoulders or too low, on her hips. It settles nicely in the middle; I move around her, getting everything settled and in the right position before I grab the belt. I pull it snug around her torso, getting it in the right position before I secure it with the leather strap. Xavier had shown me how to do it properly yesterday, so the knowledge was still set in my mind. "Okay, does that feel good?" I ask and she nickers softly, jutting her head up and down, making me smile. "I'm glad." I giggle softly, noticing a weird contraption wrapped around the horn. I pulled it off, seeing that it was a bridle- how convenient, it looked pretty fancy too. I walk around to her head, lifting it up. "Come on, then." I say and she drops her head, letting me put the bridle on.
I make sure it fits properly and that none of her hair caught in it, before I drag it over, taking a deep breath. "Okay…" I mumble, walking her out of her stall and out of the barn. I glanced around- there was nobody around, just us. "Say goodbye, True Beauty." I say and she whinnies, jutting her head up and down as she blows excitedly. I giggle, kicking off my heels and grabbing them- didn't want to leave any evidence. I grab onto the saddle, taking a deep breath before I try pulling myself on- my dress protests. "Shit." I mumble, though I grab onto the split of my dress- I tear it without a second thought, making sure that I could spread my legs properly. "Okay." I say before I grab onto the saddle again, pulling myself up and on. "Ooh, you're tall." I say as I get settled on the seat, making sure my dress wasn't in the way and tucking my feet into the stirrups. "Okay, I think we're good." I say as I place my heels into the side pack in her saddle- how convenient. "Let's get going, shall we?" I say, taking the reins and gently tapping the stirrups into her sides. "Go!" I say and she immediately takes off, thundering across the ground- she was powerful, a fast stride that almost sent me flying with the bounce.
I laughed giddily as I set my feet properly, making sure that I was in the right position and didn't go flying off. "Whoop!" I cheer as I lead her out to the road, letting her gallop alongside it. The wind was flying through my hair, a smile spread over my face- now this, this felt like freedom. On top of this powerful horse, knowing I was taking her to a better place with the sun setting in the distance- I wanted to ride like this forever. Maybe it was just the adrenaline, but True Beauty seemed to feel it too- she whinnies at the top of her lungs, beginning to sprint and making me laugh even more. I feel the bond that I had with this big horse- I wonder if she felt it too? My trust in her, my faith in her power, my love for her and craving for her happiness and freedom. My sympathy, my understanding of her pain and suffering- my willingness to help, my determination to give her a better life. All of the things that were similar between us, but oh so different- two beauties that were just used for someone else's selfish desires. I guided her through the residential areas, back to my grandparents house- I had nowhere else to take her for now, but hopefully I would be able to find one. If needed, I would have Arthur buy one.
"Arthur, have you seen Kimiko?" Suna asks as he comes up to him, panting softly- he had searched the entire gym and hadn't seen her. "Nope- she was never here." Arthur says, popping the 'P' as he watches the dance floor- Xavier was leaned against the wall beside him. "What? But I saw her-" Suna says, falling silent when Arthur looks him in the eyes. "She was never here." He says firmly, making Suna fall silent as he realizes she had told him to say that. "Arthur…" Xavier chimes as he comes over to Arthur's side, offering him a charming smile. "You told me she wasn't here." Xavier chuckles softly, tilting his head as Arthur looks at him. "And she wasn't. She was never here." Arthur says simply, turning back to the gym- his poker face was strong. "Okay… then I'm just going to give her a quick call. She's been taking a while now." Xavier says, pulling out his phone- Arthur snatches it, throwing it on the ground and stomping it. "Oops, it slipped. Oh, well. Kimiko doesn't have a phone anyways." Arthur says, pinning Xavier with a no bullshit glare, shoving his hands in his pockets. Suna looks between them, feeling the growing tension as Xavier tenses- Suna pulls out his phone and starts recording.
"You know what, something just came up. I need to go look after something, you'll let her know, won't you?" Xavier says, though Arthur lets out a dark chuckle. "Oh, but the party just started; you aren't going anywhere." Arthur says, flashing Xavier a big grin as he swallows thickly. Xavier turns, beginning to dart away, though Arthur immediately takes off after him, tackling him to the ground. "Now, now! What's got you in a panic? I mean, what could you have done to her that would have you running away from me? Hm?" Arthur chuckles darkly as Suna comes over, a small commotion coming from the scene. "Arthur, let go of me." Xavier says, no longer his usual chirpy self. "But we're just having a chat, right?! Tell me, what did you do that would make our queen leave in tears without an explanation? You didn't force yourself on her… right?!" Arthur laughs maniacally, Xavier swallowing thickly as he quickly shakes his head. "What?! Of course not, I would never do that- I never even saw her! Ask him, he saw her!" Xavier says, nodding his head to Suna. Arthur turns his ice cold glare to Suna, not relenting his hold on Xavier and causing a shiver to tear through Suna.
"She caught Alexis forcing a kiss on me… I started looking for her so I could explain but she had disappeared." Suna says, Arthur humming and turning to Xavier. "She didn't even mention him- she mentioned you. She must've caught you doing something worse- if she had been here." Arthur chimes, though Xavier was glaring at Suna. "Alexis kissed you?! She- how dare she. How fucking dare she- she planned on getting me caught, didn't she? So she had an excuse- so she could be with you?! You knew, didn't you? You stole her from me because I stole your girl! You planned to get me caught for revenge!" Xavier snarls, beginning to fight against Arthur as Arthur's smile falls. Arthur pins Xavier with a cold, dark sneering glare, making him fall silent as Xavier lightly trembles under his grip. "You better start talking, before I get the others over here." Arthur says, though Suna notices that the trio and Judas were coming over with the teeth. "Look, we just had a simple plan! We'd breed her horse, we'd get her to give me custody of the horse and then we'd sell the foal! We'd make big cash off of it and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it!" Xavier protests, Arthur humming softly.
"You sure that's all?" Arthur asks, raising an eyebrow at Xavier as he swallowed thickly. "I-I admitted that I was just using her to get to the horse… she might've heard me say that…" Xavier says, though Arthur's phone starts ringing. "Pendragon." Arthur answers as he puts the phone to his ear, glaring at Xavier like he wanted to kill him. Hey, Arthur. "Well hello, my queen. I got the full story out of Xavier when he caught on; I'm with him right now, at the prom." Arthur says, glad to hear from Kimiko as the others come over and surround them. You got the full story? Kimiko asks, though Arthur whistles at Judas, pointing a finger at Alexis- Judas automatically grabs Alexis, restricting any of her movement. "From what he said, he and Alexis planned to get full custody of True Beauty and breed her to sell the foal for cash. Somewhere along the lines, Alexis planned on getting Xavier caught and starting a relationship with Suna. Pretty sure Xavier and Alexis were dating behind the scenes." Arthur says, Kimiko silent for a moment. "Do I get to beat their asses?" Arthur chimes happily, Kimiko blowing out a breath. You know the rules, Arthur- that being said, put me on speaker, please.
Arthur pulls the phone away from his ear, putting it on speaker and humming affirmatively. "Xavier and Alexis- in one minute you will officially be excommunicado from the Hellraisers. What will ensue is an hour long game of cat and beat the mouse- such is the rules for plotting against and betraying the teeth. You have a one minute head start, after which the teeth will hold a personal vendetta against you. Now, Arthur- obey the rules and you can feel free to wreak as much havoc upon them as you can. Judas… you know what to do." Kimiko says, though Alexis's eyes widen as she jerks against Judas. "Wait?! Why me? I was trying to help you, my Queen! Please, have mercy!" Alexis begs and Arthur smiles wickedly at her, knowing that it had to do with Alexis trying to be with Suna. "Regardless, you should have prevented it in the first place. Suna is of the teeth- leading him on while you had a boyfriend is unacceptable. I will hold a personal grudge against you for that. Arthur, when you're done, come back; I need your assistance. Your minute starts now." Kimiko says before hanging up, Arthur and Judas letting go of Xavier and Alexis- they immediately scramble away, dashing for the door.
"Now, what do I do with you?" I sigh as I glance out the back door, seeing True Beauty grazing on the grass. I pick up the phone again, dialing Misaki- "Hello, this is Misaki?" She says when she answers, sounding confused as I look at the ceiling. "Hey, it's Kimiko. I have a huge favor to ask you." I say, though I hear a loud squeal on her end. "Oh my gosh- Calm your tatas, Aima! What do you need, Kiki?" Misaki asks and I can't help but smile as I look at the ceiling. "Well, you see… I have a Friesian horse that is in need of shelter. She's potentially pregnant and I need a place to put her while I get everything sorted out on my end. I own her, I've got her paperwork and certifications all up to date, she has all her shots and everything… I can give you money so you can look after her… she's a rescue from a breeding farm." I say, Misaki slowly humming as I itch the back of my neck. "She's trained and everything, she can be a bit of a handful but she's a great horse when you get to know her and she trusts you… only for a few days, if you decide longer it'll be nice, but right now I just really need to get her out of america." I say, Misaki seems to think it over and I nibble my bottom lip.
"This is really big for me… I mean, it's True Beauty- I just found out her old farm isn't exactly the best for her. I can't just leave her in my grandparents backyard either, it'll just be until I can find a permanent residence for her. I just… you're the only person I really know and trust with a farm. I'll owe you big time, it's not permanent or long term, a month at most. I'll make sure she has plenty of hay and nutrients, I'll look after her myself if I have to. I'll pay you extra if you watch her for me though." I say, Misaki blowing out a slow breath. "I can watch over her and take care of her for a while but… my farm isn't meant for a horse. If you find a farm that suits her, I'll gladly watch over her there. I can take her here until then, but I can't do anything for over a month." She says and I pump my fist, smiling widely. "Okay! I can ship her first thing in the morning if possible, but if you need time to prep I can do that. She's just gonna be eating my Grams plants and all- plus I'm sure a backyard isn't very pleasant compared to a stall." I say, Misaki laughing softly as I feel happier. "I'll let you know when I've got everything ready, though it probably won't be tonight." She says and I nod before we say our goodbyes.
I make my way out to the back porch, collapsing onto the swing and blowing out a breath as I watch True Beauty. I had taken off her saddle and bridle, they were set inside the door. I didn't want to take my eyes off of her- it felt like if I did, Xavier would come and kidnap her back. She looked so peaceful, munching on my grandma's grass- of course, my grandparents were surprised when I came back not an hour after they dropped me off at the prom, on top of a horse saying that she was going to be staying the night. I had to beg them up and down to let her stay the night, explaining what Xavier had done- they reluctantly agreed, but they wanted her out as soon as possible. It was understandable- it wasn't ideal to have a horse in your backyard, especially with the grazing and poop. I had sprung it on them out of the blue, too. I was glad that they didn't flatout deny me, but I could see they were reluctant and a tad displeased. Now that I have done everything I can- at least, for now- I remembered what happened back at the prom. I curl into a ball on the bench, my tears come back as I bury my head in my arms. Xavier had just been using me to get to True Beauty-
Suna… he and Alexis kissed. He must've been bored with me- I knew something was up with him. He must've wanted to tell me that he and Alexis had become a thing, but… knowing that she was dating Xavier behind his back must hurt him. Unless he knew- maybe he had tried to warn me but I brushed him off? I felt really stupid now- but one thing was for sure, I was losing another chunk of my heart. I sob softly, curling tighter into my ball as I think of how I'm not only losing Kuroo now- I'm also losing Suna. Was I going to lose Kozu next? How could things have gone wrong so fast? When Kozu said he had lied- did he mean that he lied about loving me for a long time? Did he not love me also? I knew it- I knew I would always end up alone, no matter how much I hoped and dreamed. It was just for me to be alone, to be left behind- it was inevitable that I would end up alone. There was no hope for me- I felt like I was suffocating, my heart tight in my chest and my body feeling weak with the blanket of sad loneliness. My heart felt like it was shattering in my chest, it felt like there was water in my lungs and an impending sense of doom as black dots took over the corners of my vision.
Oh- I was hyperventilating. I was having a panic- anxiety?- attack, unable to catch my breath as I heave desperately for air. I stumbled off the bench, collapsing to my knees- they were too weak to hold me. I choke for air, curling into a ball; my grandparents had gone to get hay and anything they could think of for True Beauty. I was alone, my inhaler was inside, by the house phone in the entrance; I was alone… nobody was coming to help. True Beauty loudly neighs, beginning to dash around and make a ruckus. I let my eyes fall closed, trying helplessly to suck in breath as more tears gather in my eyes. I was alone… True Beauty lets out an even louder neigh, almost sounding like a desperate scream as she gallops around. I was having an asthma attack, rapidly wheezing and coughing as my lungs struggle to get the air they so desperately need. I was alone… If I died, I was going to die alone. True Beauty screams again, rearing up and slamming her hooves onto the ground with a loud crack. "What the- shit! Inhaler! Quick!" Someone says as I hear them dash over to me, scooping me off of the ground. "Get the inhaler, now!" The person yells, pulling me into their chest, holding me close.
My head hangs off of their arm as I wheeze for air, though they stand and carry me inside. "Shit- where is it?" Another person asks as I'm gently set on the couch. "I don't fucking know, just find it! Tear the place apart if you have to!" The first person says, though I have another coughing fit, tightly squeezing my eyes shut. "Um, her bag, where's her bag?" A different person says, though I feel dizzy as I stop coughing and start wheezing again. "The front entrance! Hurry!" The first person says and I hear someone quickly scramble away, though my conscience starts fading away. "It's here! Here, catch!" The third person says, my body slowly going limp- "Come on, Kitten, just one good breath okay?" The first person whispers as something is placed against my lips. "Come on, breath…" The first person whispers softly and I suck in a helpless breath, feeling the refreshment- I hack at the sudden burst of air, rolling over and desperately sucking in more as I begin coughing. I take the inhaler with trembling fingers, taking another puff as I greedily gasp in the air. Holy shit, that felt good- oh, sweet air, how I missed you filling my lungs so effortlessly, unlike the constant suffocation of an asthma attack.
"Fucking hell." I croak, collapsing against the couch and just breathing with my eyes closed. "You good?" The first person asks and I slowly open my eyes, seeing Kuroo kneel before me. "Mhm…" I hum, letting my eyes fall back closed as I feel my chest aching from my thoughts before the anxiety attack. "What was that?" Someone else asks- pretty sure that was Kozu, the third person. "An attack." I say simply, feeling my body slowly coming back to me. "Okay, yeah, but what kind of attack?" Kozu asks as I slowly peel my eyes open, not looking at Kuroo. "An asthma attack." I say, hearing the last person come in- that was probably Suna. "Well yeah, but why?" Kozu asks and I blow out a breath, slowly pulling myself to sit up. "Because I had an attack." I say, testing the strength of my legs before I slowly, carefully stand on my wobbly legs. "You had two attacks?" Kozu says and I spare him an anxious glance as I head into the kitchen. "Kinda? It's more like three, it's not the first time I've had one this week." I say, grabbing an apple and heading for the back door. "Wait, what? Three? And it's not the first time?" Kozu asks as the trio follows me outside.
I hum affirmatively, slowly approaching True Beauty as she anxiously kicks at the ground. "It's okay, girl. It's okay- I'm fine, thank you for worrying about me…" I whisper, holding the apple out to her as she blows softly. I keep both of my hands in her sight and she reaches forward, nibbling the apple. "Good girl." I say, gently stroking her main as she begins greedily eating the apple. "When was the other one? Three- whatever." Kozu asks as I pet True Beauty, glad for the distraction and comfort. "When I was alone in a park, before the fight for the dump. I had my inhaler on me then, so I was fine. It wasn't this bad." I say simply, not even bothering to look at them- it hurt. It hurt seeing them, looking at them, knowing I lost them, that I couldn't have them. "It wasn't this bad- it was still bad then?! What kind of attacks are they, what are they caused by?!" Kozu asks, sounding genuinely concerned and mildly freaked out. "They're asthma attacks induced by a mixture of panic and anxiety attacks. I get them when I'm in my head, thinking about things that I can't change and that will inevitably happen someday; I'll get over it, don't worry. I'll be fine." I say, the others falling silent as True Beauty huffs lightly.
"That day, Arthur picked you up from your coffee date. He came back alone- you came to the fight, but you were different… He told you then that he likes me. You told him to take his chance and left because you were hurt, you didn't know what to do- and you had the first attack." Kuroo says and I look over at him, feeling vulnerable- he knew. "Xavier was a distraction, an escape from the pain you were feeling… A way to avoid facing us when you were so obviously hurting. He helped by keeping you occupied, distracted- but that's all he was. A distraction- you knew you had to face it sooner or later, but you didn't want to. It hurt because you felt like you had to choose between Arthur and me- but you chose Arthur, even if it hurt you. He knew that, he knew you'd choose him and that's why he was so reluctant to tell you. He knew you'd do this- you'd start falling apart, you'd have these attacks and you'd slowly tear yourself apart from the inside out while you pretended to be fine." Kuroo says and I drop my gaze, the others eyes seeming to light up with recognition. "Always so perceptive, aren't you, Kuroo?" I whisper as I turn back to True Beauty, laying my head on her shoulder.
"You caught Alexis kissing me- you panicked, you ran away before I could explain. She forced it on me- but you found Xavier instead, you heard what he said- that he was just using you to get to…" Suna says, gesturing towards True Beauty as I press my lips together. "You don't have to lie, Suna. I know that you got bored of me…" I croak, tears gathering in my eyes as I wrap my arms around True Beauty's neck. "What? Why would you think that?" Suna asks and I lightly shrug, burying my head in her neck. "You stopped… wanting me." I say, though I hear Suna let out a sharp laugh. "I want you more than ever! I just- I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll hurt you, put you in the hospital again… I don't want to push you like I did last time, especially when you seem so willing… I've been restraining myself for your sake, holding back… but I've still been here, wanting you. I was jealous because of Xavier, it's a first for me. I didn't know how to react… I honestly haven't known what to do. I felt kinda lost without you, especially since you've been acting weird… so I asked Alexis to prom in hopes that you would get jealous, possessive like you do… I didn't expect her to kiss me." Suna says, itching the back of his neck.
"Oh… All the tension at the table had me confused, too." I mumble, feeling a tad bit better as I gently stroke True Beauty, feeling a little more better. "I misunderstand what you said that day we talked; I thought that Kuroo told you that seeing you and I together hurt him… it really upset me, thinking that Kuroo betrayed me like that… I realize now that it was Arthur who said it about, that's what you meant by 'yes and no', you were talking about Kuroo but it was not Kuroo that was doing the talking. I was caught off guard and told you that I lied because I couldn't give you unbiased advice, that I would hold it against him." Kozu says and I slowly nod my head, feeling my cheeks burn- so… it was all in my head? No- no… Arthur still wanted Kuroo. "I tried talking to you but you told me no. I kind of picked up on her, well… No. I… I overheard her talking to Xavier on the bench there. Arthur then told me that he told Kimiko that he liked me… And it kind of clicked in my head, but I wanted to talk to you guys first. She… She's scared of losing us. She has been this entire time, but… You want us all, don't you? That's why you've been…" Kuroo starts and I flinch, wincing slightly.
"Um… You heard all that?" I croak, my whole face burning like it was on fire. "Yeah, I did… I was on the balcony when you guys came back. I know that you're scared, I know you feel like you have to make a choice, that you feel like letting go of us is the best option… That way we can be happy, even if that means you aren't. I know that you want to fight for us, that you really want to make this work- but you feel like it's selfish to ask us for that. I know that making a choice will tear you apart more than anything…" Kuroo says, slowly coming over as I feel tears slide down my cheeks, my bottom lip trembling. "And I know you chose to let go of me for Arthur's sake, even when it meant letting yourself deal with the pain. He thinks that since you have a boyfriend, you would maybe be okay with it- but you're not, because it's just pretend. You don't want to show Arthur, you don't want to tell Arthur- and you can't face him because you know that in the end you'll just be hurt. But… I already made my choice, Kitten. I choose you, Arthur knows it. I know it- I'll always choose you. Your happiness means the absolute world to me." Kuroo says, gently wrapping his arms around me as I tremble.
"And I know that you want more than anything to be with all three of us, that when it's the three of us… You feel like you're the best you. You get really happy, you feel like you are at your strongest when we're all together. I know that by letting go of us, you are giving up your heart, your soul, your very being itself… And you feel like that's your only choice, where everyone will be happy… But you. You feel like you'll be left behind, that you will be forever alone and that in the end… It never mattered." Kuroo says and I left out a soft sob, clinging tighter onto True Beauty, like she was my escape from my aching heart. "But it's true! In the end, I'll be alone… I'll be alone, and you'll all have moved on- and I'll be left behind. I'm just… Temporary. I'm not what you're meant to have in life, you all deserve so much more than me! I'm broken, I'm damaged- I'm no good! One day you'll see that and decide that I'm not worth the time of day- and you'll all leave and find someone better! I'll be left alone, just like I've always meant to be- I always end up alone, all I'm good for is to be used and tossed to the side like yesterday's trash. I know it-" I sob, though Kuroo gently peels me away from True Beauty as she snorts.
"Kitten, no- you will never, never ever be alone. No matter what comes, no matter what happens- I will be right here with my arms open. Absolutely nothing will keep me from being by your side, you mean the absolute world to me- you are my entire world. I see you as the most precious thing in my life, no matter what you see; I love all of you, all of your flaws and insecurities… I will take care of you, whether you like it or not, even if you try pushing me away. It won't be that easy getting rid of me." Kuroo says as I sob softly, though he cradles me in his tender embrace. "It's true that we don't know what the future holds, but… I do know one thing. I love you- you're just so… You. I love it all, I haven't found a single thing to hate about you- and not once have I found you boring. The way you are now… I'm not sure I'll ever find you boring, I feel like I could never get tired of you. You're just so… Special. I know I'll never find anyone like you- I just know it. The only reason I would walk away is if you hated me, despised me, if you didn't want me in your life, if you wish you never met me…" Suna says as he comes over, hugging my waist and laying his head on my shoulder.
"Until then, you are my one and only true love, potentially my last. I hope you are, I know we're young but… I just can't imagine a life without you in it. Any I do imagine are just… Painful. Boring- I need you in my life, otherwise it'll just go back to that dreary boringness with no escape." Suna says, gently kissing my cheek as I sob softly, feeling really happy. "I um… I know sometimes I can be… Well, I can be hard to deal with. I know that when I get lost in my games, when I tune out of reality… I can miss a lot. I know I probably obsess with them a bit much… But I try really hard not to do that with you! I try my hardest to always be there for you, to do my best… I know I'm not the best with words but… I love you. I always want to be there for you, I never want to leave your side. Everyday I wake up and hope that I'll get to see you, that we can spend time together. You mean more to me than anything ever has… You are just… Everything to me. If it wasn't for you… Life would just be pointless. If it wasn't for you in my life… I wouldn't want reality. Reality is pointless without you in it… If you weren't an option, I'd make you an option." Kozu says as he joins the hug, though Kuroo lets out a snort.
"Can't believe you actually just admitted you obsess with games too much. I mean… Wow. So you're aware of your addiction?" Kuroo chuckles, beginning to tremble softly- I can't help but laugh, shaking my head. "Leave him alone, okay? Video games are awesome- if he loves them, then who are we to judge? We all love something, right? Like… I love Nen a lot, I love my family a lot… I love my friends a lot…" I say, my face burning as I hide it in Kuroo's chest. "And… And I love you guys a whole lot…" I whisper shyly, all three of them squeezing me tighter. "We love you too." They say together, making me giggle as they chuckle. "Mm. Is this what complete happiness feels like? Shit, I feel so Fucking happy- I am complete." Kuroo says, burying his head into my hair- "I feel like I'm about to evolve into a powerful love type, like I've reached my max level." Kozu says, making Kuroo snort as he rolls his eyes. "Mm… I'm just happy to have you back, Sunshine." Suna says, nuzzling his head into my shoulder and squeezing me a bit tighter. "And I'm gonna kick all your asses if you don't let go of my little girl." My grandpa says, making all the boys jump back at least a foot as I laugh.
"Welcome back, Gramps- did you get the goods?" I ask as he walks over with a bale of hay, my grandma behind him with a big smile on her face. "Pretty sure, we had to ask a lot of questions to the poor part-timer. They seemed pretty knowledgeable, so…" He says and I walk back to True Beauty, gently stroking her mane as I smile. "Looks like your dinner is here, girly. I hope it's to your taste- ah…" I sigh, running a hand through my hair and glancing at gramps. "Time?" I ask and he glances down at his watch, spouting off a late time. "They should be back any minute then, I wonder how much damage Arthur has done." I snort, stroking True Beauty's pelt as I smile up at her. "And I've gotta find you a home. Ash, I really don't want to ask Arthur to buy me a horse stable just for one horse…" I sigh as I itch the back of my neck, pressing my lips together. "Please tell me you found somewhere to take her at least? She's already nipped at my trellis." My grandma says, making me laugh as I give her a shy smile. "Yes, I have a friend who will be taking care of her while I look for a place to shelter her; she's preparing the place now." I say, my grandparents both sharing a breath of relief.
"Actually, I know someone who has a farm- I think he'd be willing to help." Arthur says as he slides through the back gate, Judas skipping alongside him with a big smile on her face. "You know someone… with a farm? Not Misaki, right? She's gonna be my temp watch." I say, Arthur shaking his head and snorting lightly. "No, no- Ushijima. He's a farm boy, don't you know? You can always ask him to look after her, he takes care of the school horses. You know, prestigious academy and all." Arthur says, waving his hand in the air as he closes the back gate, though Judas brings me a fistful of blonde hair. "Ouch. Um- I think I should actually get her to Japan first, seeing as she's still vulnerable here. I'll discuss it with Ushijima when we get back to Japan, in the meantime… it would be a big help if you could find her transport." I say, gently stroking True Beauty as she knickers, bowing her head up and down. "We made sure they regretted it, My Queen." Judas says and I nod, moving to True Beauty's front and stroking her neck. She blows out a breath, lowering her head for me as I smile, getting her head pats. "Spoiled girl." I whisper, giving her a sweet kiss on the top of her head.
"So you're keeping her here for now?" Arthur asks and I nod, gently stroking her as I avoid her ears- she didn't like it when I touched them other than securing a bridle. "I'll be keeping a close eye on her until we get her to Japan, I'd like to see her off safely." I say, True Beauty nudging her head into my stomach and nibbling on my dress. "Don't do that, I already tore it riding you- I can fix a tear, but teeth marks are harder. Your dinner's over here." I say, pulling away and guiding her over to the bale of hay. She immediately digs in, making me smile as I gently stroke her. "Wait, you're telling me… you're going to stay up as long as she's in the backyard?" Arthur asks and I give him a sheepish smile, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't want Xavier to come and kidnap her while I'm not looking… I know it's not a good idea but… I made a promise to her to make sure she wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. I failed her once…" I say, though Kozu comes over and gently takes my hand, squeezing it softly. "We can take turns watching her then. You need your rest, doctors orders. If you fell asleep on your watch… it'll be bad." Kozu says and I purse my lips, slowly nodding.
"We'll help too." Kuroo says, coming over and offering me a smile- True Beauty squeals, taking a few steps back. "Ah, Kuroo, stop there- she's intimidated by bigger men." I say and Kuroo immediately stops where he is, getting down on one knee. "Woah, girl. It's okay, it's okay- atta girl, that's right, you're fine. Don't get spooked by the silly ol' rooster, he's just a big nerd." I whisper to True Beauty, making Kuroo laugh as she slowly calms down. "Figures she'd love a little sweet thing like you." Kuroo snorts, True Beauty slowly walking back over to her hay bale as Kuroo keeps his hands in sight. "Mm, I saved her from a breeding program; True Beauty is a Friesian horse, they almost went extinct in the 20th century. They're still endangered, which is part of the reason why a pure breed- such as this one- is well sought out to breed. They're also very expensive on the market, which is why they're often extorted for money. True Beauty was born and raised to be a breeding horse, though she has all of her training and qualifications so any of her offspring are very valuable on the market- it broke my heart seeing that…" I say, gently stroking her pelt as she begins munching.
"So I told the owner to name their price for her. I mean, it was all she ever knew, giving birth to children only to have them taken away and sold, never knowing where they went or what became of them… so… I wanted to give her a chance at a better life. Now she might have a kid on the way and… she almost got extorted again. If she has that foal… I atleast want it to be in the comfort of knowing that she doesn't have to say goodbye." I say, Kuroo nodding as he slowly reaches out to True Beauty, though he didn't hesitate and was confident. "She's beautiful." Kuroo says as True Beauty let's him stroke her snout, though she does seem a bit anxious. "I did name her True Beauty- I fell in love with her at first sight. My first thought was 'beautiful', my second was 'powerful'. She's a beast of a horse." I say, Kuroo humming as he tries pulling his hand away. True Beauty juts her snout into his hand, snorting softly. "Did I mention she's spoiled? She loves attention, can't get enough of it." I laugh, making Kuroo chuckle as he keeps stroking her. "Well, I hope she likes me. Considering she wants me to pet her… I think I'm on the right track." Kuroo says, making me crack a smile as I nod.
"God, Tamani. Get your girl already, stop pussy footing your way around it." I grumble, my head laid in Kozu's lap as he moved the book out of the way, peering down at me. "Don't you like David?" Kozu says and I purse my lips, lightly shrugging as I fiddle with my shirt. We were sitting on the swinging bench, Kozu reading 'wings' to me; it was a book by Aprilynne Pike and I was absolutely loving it- damn Xavier and his knack for good books. "Well, yeah, he's cool and a really good guy- but Tamani. He's like… I don't know. He's just better- plus they're the same species you know? Asking David to commit like that and having to commit to no children yourself… it's a hard choice. I mean, there's adoption but… it's not the same, you know?" I say, Kozu slowly nodding as he fiddles lightly with my hair. "I guess." Kozu mumbles, though True Beauty trots over and begins nibbling at my shirt. "Okay, stop eating my clothes. I get it, you want pets. You're so spoiled." I snort as I begin stroking her snout, Kozu slowly setting the book down. "You know, you're really one for putting others thoughts and feelings before your own." Kozu says, running his fingers through my hair as I hum.
"Well… yeah. To me, life is a gift. Every person is their own being- I know… I know I did that. I know I deserve to suffer for it, I know that I'll pay the price; it's one I'm willing to pay. I still value life, though- it's an amazing thing, it really is. By losing so many people in my life… It's not something to be taken so lightly. I want to live my life like my dad lived his- kind to everyone and everything, never taking anything for less value than it is. Everything is a gift, just as everyday is a present- the day will come when I'm sent to the pits of hell, but as much as I do deserve it… I want people to see me as a good person. I mean… I've always tried to be a good person, it matters a lot to me that I'm an honest and just person. When people fear me, when they're afraid of me, when I hurt them… it makes me really sad. I mean, it does- it makes me feel like straight shit. It's not like I like when people don't like me… I just deal with it." I admit, True Beauty snorting and jutting her head into my tummy. "It means a lot to me that you all accept me for who I am, that you love me regardless. That makes me want to be even more considerate for your thoughts and feelings." I hum, stroking True Beauty even more.
"Before you guys… I really wasn't me; I still have a lot to work out. I know I'm damaged, that I've got a lot to sort out- I make lots of mistakes. I figured that no one wanted me, that Yuki's words were right- I was useless, pathetic and worthless. I thought no one would ever be capable of loving me, that I was lucky to receive any honest affection or attention… in the end he had someone else, but…" I mumble, though Kozu strokes his fingers through my hair, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "Pudding, I know this isn't really nice but… one man's trash is another man's treasure. To say the least… Yuki didn't have the eyes to appreciate you for who you are like we do. You may see someone who isn't worthy but… to us, you are more than worthy. You deserve so much more; I'm sure Yuki thought you were worthy or else he wouldn't have even bothered with you. He didn't even begin seeing how much value you held- but we do. We see all of you and we want it all, because it's you. We love you for you, all of you- you're like… well, it's hard to explain; you're like our purpose in life. Three who see versus one blind." Kozu says, making my cheeks burn as I shyly bury my head in his chest.
Kuroo sits on the balcony, smiling up at the sky- yeah, that was more like it. Sure, Kozu found it hard to say the words he wanted but… when it came to someone he genuinely cared for, when they were alone and they were sharing their insecurities… Kozu's words kind of just hit differently. It was way better than last time for sure, when Xavier left her crying and hurting with no words of comfort at all. Kuroo knew for a fact that Kozu was actually a very comforting person, he just struggled with words with other people around. He easily felt pressured, like he fell into the background- it wasn't uncommon for Kozu to feel insecure, for him to lose his confidence and hide himself in his video game reality. It was a world of his own creation after all, where he didn't have to worry what others thought of him because they just didn't understand. He would consider him an introvert, but Kuroo knew that Kozu had a different side of him, a confident and stubborn side of him- that and he had a very good head on his shoulders. He was really smart, strategically- sometimes he could get worked up, he could explode or stress himself out too much, but… that was just who he was, Kuroo understood that.
Kuroo had always been perceptive, he could pick up on others emotions and had a good sense of people and their intentions in general. He had it since he was a kid- Kuroo hates to admit it, but he developed his sense when he was tip-toeing around his parents' arguments, wondering if it was okay to intervene or if he should avoid confrontation. He didn't like to fight, in fact, he did everything in his power to avoid getting into fights. Sure, he teased, he bickered- but it was all for fun, to play and joke around. He liked riling people up- but as soon as he hit a nerve he felt guilty. When he met Kimiko- he noticed that Kozu was different. He was more confident, less hesitant, more open. It quickly became obvious that Kimiko was something to him; of course, it didn't take Kuroo long to appreciate her either. However, Kozu's devotion to Kimiko… Kuroo knew it was something more. It was as if she was his tie to reality, the thing that kept him grounded, that kept him going most days. Kuroo loved Kimiko with every fiber of his being, she meant absolutely everything to him- he knew that if she left he would be broken. He couldn't imagine how Kozu would have felt, though- but he knew he'd probably be destroyed.
Of course, there was that one time Kuroo alone hurt her, when they learned that she held some sort of feelings for them- she had yelled at him, tears in her eyes as she told him he was stupid for thinking she could think of anyone but him in those moments. Kuroo had been shocked, startled, surprised- he was upset with himself for hurting her, but also happy that she felt that way. Kuroo had his insecurities- and fighting was one of them. He hated it, utterly despised it- if he had his way, Kuroo would never fight with Kimiko. The one time he hurt her, that he knew he hurt her, made her cry… it destroyed him. His selfish insecurities hurt her and he wanted nothing more than to take those words back; he had cried himself to sleep, he felt so bad. He had a total mental breakdown- of course, she proceeded to wake him up by sucking him off; oh, boy. That was such a wonderful way to be woken up- his heart had been pounding, so flustered to be taken off guard by her divine mouth. I mean, really- he had been in heaven being woken up like that. He had also been very aroused after that, wanting to return the favor, which he happily did after they made up- and she teased him for being nerdy.
週次パワーステータス
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット