章 36: Chapter 34
AN: apologies for the late chapters... well not really late because I don't have a specified upload time and the number of chapters, but I kinda get that I have set myself up to be someone who uploads at least within a day. So sorry.
I'm doing overtime for a while IRL so I'm going to be pretty much a zombie, and I don't think you'd want a chapter that zombie me pushed to upload just to keep uploading within a day. So you're instead getting a chapter thought about concocted carefully by zombie me throughout consecutive days. 😶
~~
ROBIN'S POV
"Are you cheating on me?" Isaac asked me with a straight face.
We were having a rare moment where we were left alone together, Rosalie and Vera went to help Mom with the snacks and refreshments and his boyfriend Adam had to do some business for him, as he is one of Isaac's subordinates.
[AN: Boss and employee trope.. Noice 😳]
I gave him a look that said °what the fuck are you talking about°
*I'm gonna humor your °Stupid° and ask, what do you mean cheating honey? Define cheating in our situation my dear Beard who has a boyfriend whom I met and am friends with.* I asked with a sarcastic smile and eye roll.
"Have you started a relationship without telling me about it?" he asked with a pout.
*First, stop pouting, you look ugly. 2nd, I always start relationships with a lot of women, so why are you asking now?* I replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't play stupid with me dear beard of mine, you know what I mean. And those dalliances of yours aren't called relationships." He retorted.
*I don't know, you have to be more clear, as I recall, a relationship is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected or the state of being connected. And me and my lady friends were very much connected.* I said while giving him a grin.
I knew what he was talking about, but why would I make it easy for him when I was still not sure about my own situationship?
"argh! Don't be smart on me now young lady! You know what I mean! You and Rosalie have been too touchy-feely lately, more than usual, and you've been looking like two love-struck fools, ready to devour each other! As your official public lover and Beard, I demand that I be given the respect of being informed if my supposed °partner° has entered a relationship with another person, a relationship that entails not only physical but emotional connection, like being in love!" He snapped at me, panting at his outburst while crossing his arms, then giving me an eye roll.
I just looked and chuckled at his antics, annoying him really is fun. He really is a Godsend to me, he has been so useful in dissuading other men from pursuing me, if I were to describe his build to modern-day description, he's like a gym bro. A gay guy who worked out a lot, so his tall muscular stature scared off quite a bit of my pursuers.
*there isn't anything to tell, for now.* I said, deciding to end my teasing.
"Explain... No more nonsense" he said with a pout. I couldn't help but reach out to pinch the pout away.
*What's there to explain? We aren't together yet. We haven't even confessed our feelings for each other, all I had to go on with was a moment we shared, and I'm just currently going with the flow... I feel like she feels something for me too, but I'm afraid to make the first move, because as ridiculous as it sounds given how we've been acting lately, I'm afraid that I'm just reaching with thinking that she might like me. Don't laugh at me please, it's a valid fear. I've too much to lose if I get rejected. So I decided to wait for her to make the first move." I poured my worries onto him.
He just looked at me for a while, his lips open and closed a few times, he seemed like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Then his facial expression changed, giving me an understanding look.
"Normally I would tease you into oblivion, this is gold material, THE CASANOVA, the straight bender, the woman who made countless women willing to ruin their lives for a chance to live happily ever after with you in some remote place in the mountains... Is having trouble with a woman. The irony." he said looking at a far-off distance, chuckling a bit, then looking right back at me.
*So this is you not teasing me huh? She's not just any woman to me Isaac... And you know that... She's always been special... She has always been THE ONE for me... Before... I've already accepted the fact that I couldn't have her, that someday, I'll have to let her go... See her live and build a life with some guy, who would never love her as much as I do... I knew we all knew what her dream was... And I knew that I couldn't fulfill all of them for her...*
While I could give her a child... She'd have to leave her family... She loves her family, her mother, and two brothers that adored her... And even her father who used her... She won't be able to grow old with me while watching her children grow up into wonderful people... All the humans she knew and loved would grow old and die on her... While we could grow roots in one place like the Denali's, we'd have to live an isolated life... And she's a very social person...
[AN: Rosalie, being social... 😂 So different from the movie huh]
She'd have to give up a lot if she ever chooses to be with me. I'm not sure if I could ever ask that of her. I know that the decision would be hers, and I shouldn't make assumptions on my own... But one couldn't help but think about it, and feel like I'm being a total shit right now. How dare I even be with her when I know I could potentially take away all of those from her and cause her pain?
I forgot all about it lately since we've been too happy together, just being with each other... Even with the kind of vague relationship we have, it still felt good to be able to openly show her with actions, just how much I love her... Without actually crossing the line of how friends physically touch. Ugh... There were quite a few times when we almost did, but it seemed that we both had this unspoken competition of having the other confess first or give in.
Hearing my reasons for being passive in going forward with my relationship with Rosalie, Isaac gave me an understanding nod, his situation could be said to be a bit similar to mine since he and Adam can't go public, and as much as they'd want to build a family together, they can't have a child of their own, and in the future, he might even have to marry a woman and sire a child with her... I'm pretty sure that he's thinking of having me be that said wife since we already have an ongoing understanding and arrangement, and I can only feel sorry for my friend since I can't be that person for him, since I'd have to leave eventually...
"I get it. I understand, but I still think and in some way, I also know that you have already thought about this, that you should let her decide regarding this... If she does love you... and believe me, when I say this sweetheart, she absolutely loves you, I can't say for sure if it is at the same level, but definitely not more, since you're totally gaga over her..." he said the last line while rolling his eyes at me.
"I've known from the very first time that I saw you two together that you had feelings for each other... YOU were already madly in love with her but were hiding it, using distractions to fill the void and trying to move on... And her? At first, I wasn't sure about her feelings about you, she clearly sees you as someone special to her, she treated and looked at you differently, and when she discovered about your illicit activities" he chuckled a bit at the memory.
"I saw how hurt she was, At first I thought it was just because of how betrayed she was of not being in the know or she was still not supportive of your disregard for monogamy, engaging with more than one partner... But then, recently the look in her eyes changed... I saw before we started hanging out again and saw you two flirting shamelessly in front of us. I guess the change was because she realized her feelings towards you..." he looked at me straight in the eyes with a serious but gentle look while he held both of my hands on top of the table, giving them a light squeeze.
"I know I have no ground to walk on for saying this... I myself am not in an ideal situation with my own partner... And our future seems bleak if one really thinks about it... But I've never been happier in my life when I've finally confirmed my relationship with Adam... We are both sure of the fact that it won't be easy for us in the future, and we might have to do some things that will hurt us and strain our relationship, but we're still happy that we chose to be together..."
I looked at him, feeling empathetic to my friend... It's really hard for gay people in this period... If only they weren't born too early...
"You know I love you right? It is without a doubt that if I was born straight, I would have pursued you myself, but we both know that we wouldn't have gotten this close if I were. You're the only woman that I would ever even willingly marry without being forced or feel disgusted by... You're my best friend. You know... I haven't told you this, but I've always felt like you're like a dandelion, that will fly away as soon as the wind hits you, I would have already asked you to marry me... I had always felt like you never intended to stay... So maybe, just maybe... Me pushing you to be with her is because of my own selfishness... Because if you're with her, it means you'll stay... Because she'll want to stay..." I saw his eyes started to seem a bit glossy. He looked up to stop the tears from coming and cleared his throat.
"I'm not telling you this to try and emotionally manipulate you to confess to her. I'm not even sure why I just told you that... Maybe I'm just scared of you leaving us to go somewhere far away. I want my best friend here... But more importantly, I want my best friend to be happy too... And this... this back and forth, acting like it, but not really IT... It's not going to be good or enough for you in the long run... I don't want to see you hurt... I like Rosalie... But I care more about you... Be honest or move on." he said, gave my hand a squeeze, kissed the back of my hand, and let go.
Fuck! My eyes are getting blurry, shit... Damn onion ninjas! Who told this guy to get sappy on me?
I stood up from my seat and sat beside him and leaned my head on his shoulder, which he reciprocated by lifting his arm to wrap around me, giving me a side hug and a kiss on the top of my head.
They just sat there in comfortable silence. Then she felt him move to whisper something in her ear, it was done quite intimately, but she did not care or felt it to be weird.
"Look, your lady love is back, and she's looking quite jealous. Why don't I help you out? Kiss me on the cheek." he whispered close to my ear, I could hear the grin from the way he talked.
I already felt their presence getting closer before he even told me, but I decided to wait for them, his idea seemed amusing so I agreed. I looked up to him, quietly chuckled while smiling, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek before I stood up and went back to my original seat.
Isaac chuckled and looked at Rosalie with a smirk, clearly teasing her.
The look she gave him was something, she looked like she wanted to gut the guy. I wanted to laugh out loud but held it in.
Both of the girls sat down after arranging the snacks and drinks at the table.
I was sitting beside Rosalie and Vera was on Isaac's side. We all chatted and laughed while we gossiped and caught up on things we'd done while away from each other. Rosalie did respond, but I could tell she was upset about something, and I have a pretty good idea what that something was.
Our little gathering ended and Isaac decided to escort Vera home, giving me a wink before leaving with her. Leaving just me and Rosalie.
I looked at her and tapped her hand that was on her lap to get her attention, which she didn't immediately respond to, it took a few more seconds before she finally looked up to me.
*what's wrong? You seem upset about something hun...* I asked her with a look of concern.
"It's nothing... I'm just being stupid..." She shook her head in denial.
*It's not silly if it's making you upset, tell me... No secrets right? We don't want any more misunderstandings...* I prodded.
She was silent for a while... It looked like she was contemplating on how to tell me, so I just waited for her patiently...
"Do you act that affectionate to just about everybody? And you just let them touch and kiss you... Earlier, you and Isaac were so close, I even saw him kiss your head and you kissed him back..." she said with a frown.
*In the cheeks, I kissed him back on the cheeks. And you do know that Isaac is gay right? He and I are not a real couple, he doesn't see me in THAT way. And you've seen us like this before, it's nothing new. I'm an affectionate person, my love language is physical touch. * I replied jokingly with a raised eyebrow and a grin.
"I know... That's why I said I was being stupid. But then I remembered you being with those girls... In THAT way... I don't like it... I never liked it, but when I got knowledge of it, it made me feel uncomfortable, I didn't clearly understand why I felt that way... But now that I... Haaah... It hurts that you can be that intimate with just anyone... And with me... We... Us... I... " She was upset, I knew my past actions would bite me in the ass, and now I'm looking at my girl who's about to cry.
*I'm sorry, you're not just anyone to me. That's why I'm more reserved when I act around you... I can lose them, but not you... I can bear them hating me, but not you... You're the most important person to me. I'm sorry if hurt you. I like them, but I lo- like you more* I apologized sincerely, and joked near the end, grinning. Fuck, I almost said it.
She pouted, clearly catching me almost saying it. GOD, she looked too adorable and beautiful at the same time! It's taking everything from me to not just kiss her right now.
"You say you like me more, but you haven't even done that to me, if you do that to all your °Friends°, why are you discriminating on me huh?" She said still pouting.
I couldn't take it anymore. ROB if you mess this up for me again I will go up there grab your foot and continuously stub your pinky toe into oblivion.
I reached out a hand to the back of heard head and her hips to pull her closer to me and brought our lips together...
She was shocked for a moment but then closed her eyes and tried to reciprocate my kiss...
It was clear that she wasn't used to kissing... And this was probably her first... And for some reason, that kinda made me happy... And guilty...
The kiss didn't last long, and our lips separated, but we had our forehead against each other... She was panting lightly... We stayed that like that for a few more seconds, before I finally pulled back, causing a tiny whine from her. CUTE!
*Happy? * I asked grinning at her, my eyes were a bit distracted and kept looking back down to her lips.
"For now" She replied with a grin, and then pulled me back to her for another kiss...
~~
AN: It finally kinda happened huh? Yup. Kinda.
Geez I can't lie! I wasn't actually gonna upload anything, but my friend kinda forcefully sponsored the chapter, telling me to upload at least one chapter to tell you guys that I might be out for a while. So I felt obligated to upload a decent chapter. 😅 Thanks for the support my friend, you funded my Cola and chips I'm consuming right now. Me being busy is for real tho. So I made this chapter a bit longer as an apology.
Anyway, thanks for all the power stones, comments, and reviews! You know I love and appreciate it. It makes my day. 😊
If you have any song recommendations or any ideas that you think would be cool to see in the novel, share them at our discord. You'll also get updates if there's going to be a change or delay in the chapters. Maybe you can even be in the novel yourself, here's the invite👇
https://discord.com/invite/7dhqZGRn
週次パワーステータス
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット