章 14: Chapter XIII: No Respite

The days following the start of my piloting lessons with Carrack quickly settled into a somewhat stressful routine. Since I wasn't working in the mornings, the Guild demanded I take on tougher jobs to make up for the lost hours. These jobs left me more exhausted and stressed by the end of the day, and they didn't even allow me to gain much experience since I had no say in the tasks assigned to me.

This went on for over four days, during which I didn't visit O'Shalle's Bar once. That meant I had no way of releasing the built-up tension, pushing me to a limit I hadn't known existed within me.

It seemed I needed a constant outlet to blow off steam. At first, this surprised me, but after thinking about it more deeply before bed, I realised it made sense. My life on Earth was one where I was always on the move—whether it was boxing at the gym or playing football with my mates in the evenings, where we'd clear our heads and have a laugh.

Weekends were for going out, dancing, and having drinks with them, while Sundays were strictly family time. We had a long-standing tradition where my dad's entire side of the family would get together every Sunday. We'd share meals, drinks, chat, and watch football together.

All of that kept my mind accustomed to always having that release valve open—somewhere to relax, unwind, and be happy with the people I cared about.

Up until now, O'Shalle's Bar and Beatrix's company had been enough to scratch that itch my mind was desperate to relieve. But after nearly three weeks in this world, far away from my family, friends, personal belongings, hobbies, and any form of entertainment, I hit a breaking point.

I had to do something. Despite being knackered after a full day of moving ridiculously heavy crates into a food shop's storeroom on Level 03, I needed a way out.

My legs carried me through the streets of Level 03, which were far quieter at night compared to the hustle and bustle of the day. The people roaming around after dark weren't workers; they came from a different social circle—almost clandestine.

There was mistrust and extreme caution in their eyes. Homeless vagabonds lined the alleys, wide awake and exposed, since the daily grind had taught them they were excluded from Vandalor's ebb and flow. To the city's people, they were just a nuisance.

I briefly observed one of the vagabonds. He seemed somewhat entertained, at least. His body, gaunt and clearly malnourished, was covered in sickly grey skin, so thin that his ribcage and joints were visible through it. He was slouched against a wall with a bottle resting between his legs. But his head—his head was encased in a metal box, seemingly wired to the wall.

The man appeared oblivious to his surroundings, occasionally letting out a chuckle as his head lolled from side to side, completely immersed in whatever had him so entranced.

I kept walking, my familiar surroundings near the Guild soon fading as neon lights illuminated the wet, metallic streets. I hummed a tune under my breath, trying to calm my mind. I had no idea where I was going or what I was looking for, but I needed to get out, to distance myself from the claustrophobic space that was the shared room with more than a dozen other Guild workers.

Then, I stopped briefly, caught off guard by something I hadn't seen since arriving in this world. At the side of a street, near a series of buildings that looked like residential blocks, stood a woman. Her face looked utterly worn out, and her frail appearance was hard to ignore. Yet, she smiled—a genuine smile, with bright eyes—as she watched a small child with a shaved head. The mask the kid wore was clearly not his size, probably his mother's. The child, by Vandalor's standards, seemed remarkably healthy and full of life, running about joyfully as he played with her.

As I watched them, it struck me—this was something I hadn't seen anywhere in Vandalor until now. I hadn't even seen any children. It made me wonder, where were the kids in this city?

I felt something stir within me as I watched what was undoubtedly going to become a cherished memory for that child in the future—his mother giving him a precious bit of her resting time.

I'm not sure what came over me or why I did it, but I turned around and headed towards a food stall I'd passed a few blocks back. I bought three meal rations for 15 credits, then picked up a diluted carbonated drink—a beverage with a bland taste but, nonetheless, one of the best things you could get in Vandalor. Its price of 10 credits reflected its value amongst the population.

With the litre-and-a-half bottle and the food rations in hand, I walked back to the mother and her child. My figure must have appeared intimidating because the mother quickly looked worried, and the child clung to her hand, gazing up at me with unreadable eyes.

Although I smiled, it was hidden by my mask. I spoke, "Sorry to bother you, ma'am. You see, I've got some leftover rations and a drink from work, and rather than throwing them away, I thought maybe you and your little one might want them." I held out the rations in my hand, while the bottle seemed small in my left.

The woman looked briefly confused, her eyes filled with wariness as she glanced at the rations and the drink in my hands. "Why would you give us this?" she asked, her voice tinged with fear as she tried to shield her child behind her.

Not really wanting to explain my sudden impulse, I ignored the tension in her posture as I approached. Without a word, I gently pushed the rations towards her, almost forcing her to accept them, and said simply, "Hope you both enjoy your night."

She stared at me, stunned and clearly surprised. Her body remained tense as she held the rations and the drink, and I could feel her gaze drilling into my back as I walked away.

I knew the food wasn't much, but I hoped the rations, along with the drink, would make the child remember that night with even more fondness when he came to understand the gesture of time his mother had given him.

After all, a full belly with family made everything easier to bear.

For several minutes, my mind drifted to my own memories. Seeing that pair had made the longing and sadness within me swell even more. I missed my parents, my sisters, my grandparents, and my friends.

Trying to rationalise the idea that you might never see your family again, without even having the chance to say goodbye, was impossible for me. The feeling was overwhelming, soul-crushing.

What hurt even more was thinking about how I'd promised my mum and dad that they'd see me graduate from university—something they'd never get to witness. A promise I'd failed to keep.

When I came back to reality, I found myself in a different part of Level 03, though it was one I knew well. A part I regarded with deep unease and a sinking feeling in my gut.

It was the Soft Silk District.

Over the past few days, I'd passed through this place more times than I'd like, always avoiding that shop window like the plague. Sometimes, I'd stop to observe the people walking the streets. Other times, I'd fantasise about finding a way to break in and free those who lay in front of the display windows, waiting for a fate so horrible I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

And now, here I was, standing among them. But it wasn't for work, nor was it to contemplate my own powerlessness. I had no idea why my unconscious mind had led me to this place.

"I don't have the strength or the power to do anything here..." I muttered to myself, about to turn and head somewhere—anywhere—else.

However, just as I was about to walk away, I felt the warmth of hands wrapping around my left arm, immediately making me spin around to see who had approached me.

"Why are you leaving after standing there watching for a while? Don't tell me you're just passing by to have a look?" I was immediately caught off guard as a pale woman, probably in her mid-thirties, tilted her head up to gaze at me. Her amber eyes shimmered with curiosity and interest, while her soft, melodic voice almost seemed to sigh in my ear, teasing.

Her brown hair framed her face, and a more refined mask covered the lower half of it. Yet, my eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the ample cleavage that escaped from her chest, barely contained by her clothing.

"I… I'm not—" I stammered, struggling to say I wasn't looking for anything. My throat felt dry as I took in her attractive figure, feeling the slight pull of her hand as she gently guided me towards an establishment.

The flickering neon lights highlighted more of her skin between her suggestive attire, and from her well-fed appearance, I could tell she seemed to be doing alright for herself. The short dress she wore barely contained her explosive curves.

"I've seen you pass by here several times, and now that you've stopped, you can't tell me you're not curious, can you?" she continued, her voice lilting as I wondered what to do.

"Not really…" I mumbled, letting out a nervous laugh. I had no interest in spending time with prostitutes. The thought had never even crossed my mind, and I certainly didn't plan on the first woman I'd be with in Warhammer being a lady of the night.

"Aww~ don't say that. Why don't you come have a drink with me for a moment and tell me why you wander around here so often?" Her sultry and enchanting tone reverberated in my ears as we neared the entrance of a neon-lit building. Several other women stood by, eyeing me with hopeful glances as they sought out clients.

As we stepped inside, a strong, sweet scent, reminiscent of tobacco, hit me immediately. A strange and unfamiliar type of music resonated throughout the place. "Look, I'm really not looking to… well… to hire your services," I stammered, trying not to sound like a complete arse and offend the woman.

But my words seemed to bounce right off her as we walked down a dimly lit hallway bathed in a red glow. Guards stood on either side, giving me brief glances, some raising an eyebrow at my height.

Then, a room opened, revealing several tables surrounding a stage, with raised platforms where women in varying degrees of undress danced and swayed for the crowd. Waitresses moved between tables, their voluptuous bodies adding another layer of eroticism to the electrifying atmosphere of the place.

I couldn't keep looking as the woman who had brought me here gently guided me towards C-shaped seating, where she quickly curled up next to me. Her hands slowly reached up to either side of my face, grazing the edges of my mask as she asked, "May I~?"

I sighed and nodded.

With a deftness that spoke of practice, she slid the mask from my face, placing it on the table in front of us. "Oh my~ what a lovely surprise! I didn't expect you to be even more handsome than I'd imagined," she said, her words sounding genuinely sincere as she removed her own mask.

I could only manage a "Thanks."

She let out a captivating laugh as I watched her intently, observing her reveal the lower half of her face, bit by bit.

Her nose was small, and her lips full and inviting. I was taken aback by how stunning I found her, as she introduced herself, "My name's Eloise. What should I call you, handsome?"

I averted my gaze from her face, letting out a long, tired sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose and responded, "Gino. Nice to meet you."

Though my responses were blunt and far from charming, it was the only way I could think to avoid Eloise pushing her services on me. She had already succeeded in getting me into her establishment and ordering drinks.

"Oh, Gino… I like the sound of your name! It's the first time I've heard anyone called that," she said, her voice as alluring as she was. Even though her tone and words felt sincere, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was wasting both my time and hers.

"Look, Eloise, I'll buy the drinks like you asked, but I'm really not in the mood to indulge in your work performance, alright? Just tell me how much your time costs, and I'll pay." I spoke with a weary, drained tone, trying not to come across as hostile.

Her beautiful smile faltered, and the brightness in her eyes dimmed as she lowered her gaze to the table. In place of her earlier charm, there now sat a woman who seemed defeated, as she muttered, "...45 credits…"

I nodded, quickly pulling out the amount and placing it in front of her on the table before asking, "What drink do you recommend? I've no clue what any of these are."

Without lifting her head, she pointed at a drink on the menu called Cleansing Fire.

I waved a waitress over and ordered two. Silence hung between us afterward as I sensed Eloise withdrawing from me, her once close presence now feeling distant.

Glancing at her again, I sighed, noticing that her makeup was smudged around her eyes and she was biting her lip. Her body trembled slightly, and her ample chest, usually an erotic and alluring sight, now seemed overshadowed by the sorrow that radiated from her.

For fuck's sake, she's the worst prostitute I've ever seen. She brings me here, I pay after declining her services, and now she's crying? I cursed inwardly, wondering why I had even let myself get dragged into this place.

"Are you alright?" I asked, my hand gently resting on her bare shoulder as I tilted my head to get a better look at her face.

Eloise shook her head slightly, trying to wipe her eyes as she muttered with a sad, nervous smile, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry~! I didn't mean for you to see this…"

When she lifted her gaze, her amber eyes were red, and her face bore a practiced, forced smile.

Seeing this, I leaned back in my seat, my hand still resting on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "There's no need to apologise. Something's clearly bothering you. Do you want to talk about it while we wait for the drinks?" In truth, I had no real interest in hearing more about her.

She mirrored my movements, reclining in her seat and hugging herself as she spoke slowly, "... It's just that… after hearing your words and seeing your expression, I realised I upset you by bringing you here. And… it made me think about what I'm doing with myself right now… it was stupid of me to invite you for a drink when it's clear you're not interested in someone like me… a whore."

Her self-deprecating words made me turn my head towards her, frowning. "Hey, there's no need to talk down about yourself. Look, I've never felt the need or desire to seek out the services of a lady of the night, but you can't beat yourself up for trying to do your job. You just happened to bump into someone who's not into this kind of thing." I tried to offer her some words of comfort, hoping to keep her from insulting herself any further.

However, Eloise shook her head as she looked up at me again and said, "...it's just that I approached you because you seemed attractive at first glance, you understand? Most of us who work at Soft Silk remember certain faces and figures. And you're a newcomer who caught the interest of several of us... I thought perhaps I could achieve two things in one, earn some money and maybe satisfy a desire of my own..."

Taken aback by her frankness, I didn't know how to respond and could only look back at Eloise.

There was not a hint of intention in her body to appear alluring or enchanting. Yet, there she was, enveloped in an aura of desolate and melancholic beauty. Amidst the decadent and hedonistic spectacle around us, I glimpsed the nakedness of a fragile soul that seemed to resonate with mine.

I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but in that moment, when I heard the sincerity of her words, Eloise managed to make me decide to stay for a while and keep her company.

When the waitress brought our drinks, she cast a quick and surprised glance at our posture. Unique and different in that dive, yet she said nothing and simply left them there.

Almost simultaneously, Eloise and I reached out to take our drinks, while I said softly, "Just to be clear, it's not that I don't find you attractive; frankly, if the situation were different, I'd be doing everything possible to sleep with you. It's just that... I feel there's something inherently wrong with paying for sex and companionship, you know?"

My words seemed to resonate with Eloise as she nodded while taking a sip of her drink. After a pause during which she closed her eyes and swallowed her beverage, I heard her say, "I think I know what you mean... before I started working in this, I didn't understand how anyone could do it. From both sides of the perspective, I mean. But now that I know what drives a woman to sell her dignity and body, I think I understand what leads a man to pay for us."

She tilted her head slightly, her sad smile partially obscured by the glass as she revealed to me, "Loneliness is what brings them to us."

Resting her head against my shoulder after tentatively moving closer, and having my implicit permission, she continued, "Not having anyone to share your problems, fears, insecurities, or even the few good things that happen to you is what drives them to seek comfort in us that they can't find anywhere else." There was a melancholic look on her face as she spoke.

Swallowing the sweet yet strong drink, I let my eyes take in the scene before me. The decay of a broken society. The broken and lonely spirits of all the men and women present.

Some earned a living in this manner, while others left the fruits of their labour before those women. There were no homes or families to bring rations to. I had come to know in my short time in Vandalor that no one would be foolish enough to spend hard-earned credits on prostitutes when they had to bring rations home. That was a luxury that no one but a selfish and insensitive person would afford.

Looking back at Eloise, I paused to contemplate her for a moment while we both continued sipping our drinks. Sensing my gaze, she returned it but remained silent.

Several minutes passed before I smiled at her and said, "Life is shit, isn't it?"

She let out a delightful laugh, nodding her head as she said, "It really is!" Then her eyes shifted away from mine to look at her hands holding her drink as she added, "But I honestly don't regret living it; after all, I have everything I need and my reason to endure all the crap at home." Her voice cracked for a moment as she said this.

Silence lingered between us for several moments as we both finished our drinks, and I contemplated leaving afterward.

Then Eloise's hand rested on my thigh, her face taking on a determined look as she said with a nervous smile, "Gino, would you like to join me upstairs and spend some time together?"

I looked at her with a blank expression for a moment before immediately asking, "Are you asking me this because of what I paid you? Because if that's the case—"

She didn't let me finish my words, shaking her head from side to side and caressing my inner thigh in an even more suggestive manner. "It's not the whore Eloise asking you; it's a woman who genuinely wants to spend the night with you."

Hearing her words made my body freeze momentarily as I wrestled internally with whether I really wanted to do this.

After all, Eloise struck me as a beautiful and physically attractive woman. And although I had certain negative feelings about her current profession as a prostitute, I couldn't deny that she was the type of woman who, in any other circumstance, I would likely be trying to seduce and sleep with.

Returning her gaze, I took a breath and prepared to respond to her honestly.