章 244: Marvel 17
It never felt so good to put a hoe in her place.
I had my fun but I was feeling some more agents surrounding the door, waiting for new orders, so I just asked Leo to take over as I didn't want to deal with any more of them.
The shit outside has also settled and the space stone was taken by Gojo to his home reality, dooming Thanos' plan before it even began. Remember, work smarter, not harder.
With the Chitari decimated and most of my customers back home to rest after the small workout, peace returned, at least if you weren't a politician or one of the many people who got their houses destroyed and families killed.
Sadly Location-Not-Found was discovered by the many organizations of Marvel and there was always at least one agent inside to monitor us and report the location of new doors. They were a bit annoying but no threat, if anything their attempts to control my place were adorable, so I didn't throw them out.
Soon 2015 came around again and everyone's greatest nightmare happened. Another Deadpool was born and instinctively found his way here like he knew where to annoy the most people. So, now we have two walking tumors that made Jabba the Hutt look handsome flirting with each other and harassing people together.
After my own place was taken over by these chaotic but still enjoyable twins, I decided to take a few days off and leave the rest to Leo and my other kids.
The moment I stepped out of my room for the first time in years, portals opened and the TVA walked out.
"Halt, you're under arrest for crimes against the sacred timeline."
Jeez, these guys never give up, do they? Or maybe they just had their previous failures erased from their memories or these are guys that left before the other teams in the past, who knows. Well, I do but I'm not curious enough to care.
"Do you never give up? When will Kang learn? You would think that someone who had the combined knowledge of all his variants would have some of their wisdom as well, no matter how small it was."
The humans from all across time just looked at each other confused, not knowing what I was even talking about.
"I swear, Kang could have caught and brainwashed anyone from across time so why did he choose morons like you guys. And what are you going to do with these glowsticks and plastic armor? You realize that you would never actually catch someone who was a bit stronger than these you dealt with before, do you?" I vented some of my frustration on them as I continued to rant about their uselessness for several minutes.
"…And that's why it makes no sense how you captured or erased some people who could tank nukes and run across the world before you even had enough time to swing your fancy glowstick. Just one cancer-boy was enough to kill several of your squads."
During that time, the enforcers of the sacred timeline just stood there motionlessly while looking at each other confused as I continued my rant. They couldn't even understand a tenth of what I was saying but it still made strangely sense to them.
"Alright, time's up, I ain't wasting my free day with you lot." With a snap, they all turned into golden statues, forever to be admired by the citizens or stolen by a villain or organization.
Just two blocks away from where I left the statues, I was surrounded by black vans and armored soldiers jumped out, attacking me with tasers and sedatives without a single word.
"Are you guys fucking serious?" I wasn't ignorant and knew that they were here after the agents that watched the doors 24/7 alerted them of someone coming out. I didn't even have to guess who they were as only Hydra was moronic enough to antagonize everyone without knowing anything about them as long as there was even a tiny chance they might prove an obstacle to their goals.
Obviously, I wasn't the first to get this treatment and most of my customers had experienced this each time they left the door. They usually just killed them and continued with their day like nothing happened, so obviously Hydra was aware that this was most likely just a suicide mission.
These guys didn't even deserve to be made into gold statues and I just turned them into colon bacteria. After that, I was no longer bothered by anyone else thankfully.
I had no specific direction but at some point, I ended up in front of a gym. I was very tempted by all these leggings, long legs, and perky cheeks.
"Curse my wife, creator of leggings." I knew better than to act on my impulses as the moment I glanced at them, they all mysteriously got late-stage breast cancer.
I continued looking through the layers of brick walls until I saw another woman, this one was much younger than the others with short blond hair with some pink dye and a piercing.
She was another level of tempting as she was the image of fitness plus she wasn't wearing any bra. Is it weird that I was more attracted to Gwen Stacy than Natasha Romanoff? Who knows, maybe I just like them less sluttier, younger, and with less curves.
"Pretty please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please." I continued begging the increasingly dark sky for several minutes when I finally saw Gwen's aura change, her eyes turned pink, and turned to look at me through the walls.
"Fine, just this once but she will have to die afterwards." She mouthed.
This was probably the only time I get to do this as this was her way of apologizing for torturing me because of some random slut. This also wasn't even considered cheating, as everyone was just part of her body and now that she took over her consciousness, it was the same as fucking her true body after she shapeshifted into someone else.
I will enjoy my days off to the fullest.
******
A/N- the last part is a random idea I had after watching some sauce. If you also want to see it, just google Gwen Stacy Workout by HydraFXX.
Have fun.
Also, I'm probably going to do a big timeskip soon to the 31st century where the final few chapters of this book will take place. I think it's not hard to see that I'm running out of ideas and motivation for this book, at least it's at the end anyway, so there won't be a dropping.
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