16レビュー
4.78
- テキストの品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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Walaupun bahasanya buruk,alur ceritanya lumayan bagus.semangat ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
writing is pretty good. there's some mistakes here and there but it's not enough to give you an aneurysm lol. the story is going in a nice development and it fits in really well with the World design and I like the way the author has designed their own version of the pre-canon plot. but I'll be honest, for the character development I am slightly disappointed in how the mc was basically forced to join Root. don't get me wrong I totally understand the why since even though he was a prodigy and starting to gain momentum in power (political, financial, and actual strength) as well as he was being supported by the Hiruzen and his eldest son as much as they could given their positions, but at the end of the day mc was on his own with no clan to back him up so when Danzo came calling he had no choice but to answer. I was just sad to see him forced to grow up from that naive little dreamer into a killer of the Ninja World like how he was trying not to be. but at least he's still fighting back in his own little rebellious ways so that's good. finally updating speed. I just got caught up so I can't determine that but so far it seems to be more than once a week so that's good for me lol
ネタバレを明かす
I read chapter 1 to 19. Everything almost perfect but the MC is a bit immature and emotional unstable I hope there would be a great disaster will happen so the MC would become more mature and become a great Ninja, because for what I see the MC is just ranting, complaining and not doing anything that will help or relief him from his problem.
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Thank you author, it was an interesting adventure, I hope you can please us again. What inspires me most in your work is the world design; it’s truly something well-developed and living its own life. Good luck.
Overall a great approach. There are only 2 things i have to point out.1: Ther are many explanations that disrupt the flow of the story. Since this is a Fanfic there is no need to go into so much detail that most readers will skip anyway.2: It is quite slow paced. Again very detailed, but way too much in my opinion. Since this is pure training/learning until now it gets boring quite fast, at least for my expectation of a story in this world.Apart from those 2 points it is a great experience. Very good grammar, frequent updates and a very different MC compared to most FFs. Maybe you can do something about my critique, other than that keep up the good work
Lol I'm Spiderman Pieter Parker xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx
ネタバレを明かす
Point out any mistakes in the paragraph comments, I will try to correct them. Also give some reviews. ..............................................
It’s too early to say anything, but I really liked the beginning. I will continue to follow the development of the plot. If the pace and style of the narrative does not change, it will be one of the best works on Naruto.
Please review, comment and send stones. Try do so in a encouraging way, I can’t handle negative bashing. I am a new author ✍️.
One of the best Naruto fanfics! I really like the character development and world design! The AI Power is good but not OP, and the interpretation of Danzo, Hiruzen, Anbu and root is unique. The MC is very original too, i like him
Walaupun bahasanya buruk,alur ceritanya lumayan bagus.semangat ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
writing is pretty good. there's some mistakes here and there but it's not enough to give you an aneurysm lol. the story is going in a nice development and it fits in really well with the World design and I like the way the author has designed their own version of the pre-canon plot. but I'll be honest, for the character development I am slightly disappointed in how the mc was basically forced to join Root. don't get me wrong I totally understand the why since even though he was a prodigy and starting to gain momentum in power (political, financial, and actual strength) as well as he was being supported by the Hiruzen and his eldest son as much as they could given their positions, but at the end of the day mc was on his own with no clan to back him up so when Danzo came calling he had no choice but to answer. I was just sad to see him forced to grow up from that naive little dreamer into a killer of the Ninja World like how he was trying not to be. but at least he's still fighting back in his own little rebellious ways so that's good. finally updating speed. I just got caught up so I can't determine that but so far it seems to be more than once a week so that's good for me lol
ネタバレを明かす I read chapter 1 to 19. Everything almost perfect but the MC is a bit immature and emotional unstable I hope there would be a great disaster will happen so the MC would become more mature and become a great Ninja, because for what I see the MC is just ranting, complaining and not doing anything that will help or relief him from his problem.
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Thank you author, it was an interesting adventure, I hope you can please us again. What inspires me most in your work is the world design; it’s truly something well-developed and living its own life. Good luck.
Overall a great approach. There are only 2 things i have to point out.1: Ther are many explanations that disrupt the flow of the story. Since this is a Fanfic there is no need to go into so much detail that most readers will skip anyway.2: It is quite slow paced. Again very detailed, but way too much in my opinion. Since this is pure training/learning until now it gets boring quite fast, at least for my expectation of a story in this world.Apart from those 2 points it is a great experience. Very good grammar, frequent updates and a very different MC compared to most FFs. Maybe you can do something about my critique, other than that keep up the good work
Lol I'm Spiderman Pieter Parker xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx
ネタバレを明かす Point out any mistakes in the paragraph comments, I will try to correct them. Also give some reviews. ..............................................
It’s too early to say anything, but I really liked the beginning. I will continue to follow the development of the plot. If the pace and style of the narrative does not change, it will be one of the best works on Naruto.
Please review, comment and send stones. Try do so in a encouraging way, I can’t handle negative bashing. I am a new author ✍️.
One of the best Naruto fanfics! I really like the character development and world design! The AI Power is good but not OP, and the interpretation of Danzo, Hiruzen, Anbu and root is unique. The MC is very original too, i like him