章 20: WHICH ONE IS THE REAL HIM?
A wind of loneliness began to blow between the two as Zayn and Ariana looked at each other while in their mind, serving their different thought.
Hearing that coming out of Ariana's mouth, was really unexpected because Zayn knew very well that her former self would never bring something like this. Her obsession and attention to him all this time are enough to prove it. In addition, her saying 'I love you' and 'I like you' still freshly ringing in his ears!
To be honest, once he knows the King wanted to pair him with his daughter, he already tried everything to break free. But this girl over here still stubbornly wanted to keep him in her grasp no matter what he do.
Now that she said this, a sentence that he wanted to hear the most before, he somehow felt strange inside because he had already decided that he would eventually get married to her after postponing the date for so long.
"Hah-ha-ha-ha-ha..." Zayn started laughing out loud as if what Ariana said just now was too funny to him.
But seeing Ariana still with her serious face, and her eyes changed to confusion, Zayn stopped abruptly.
"What game are you trying to play now? How exactly do you want me to react?" He asked.
Ariana can't help but sigh. She knows this conversation can't be easy as she imagines it to be.
"Look at me properly, you should know that I don't play around with this. This involved both of our futures."
Zayn started getting closer to her. Too close until Ariana seems to be able to feel his body heat even though it's not like they are hugging or anything.
'Why does he get closer to me now? Isn't this a good offer? Why does he look...upset?' Ariana can't understand this man at all. Still, she doesn't move and continues to stare at him, to show that she is not talking nonsense.
"You... You are the one begging me to be with you all these years, even kneeling in front of your father to make this happen even though you are not his favorite child. Suddenly telling me you wanted to stop? Are you really thinking I'm going to believe that? There must be something else you plan, right? What is it? How about you just tell me now so that I can be prepared."
It was clear from the man's face that he never trusted the Ariana he knew.
'But I'm not her.' Ariana knows she can't say it out loud. That is why this is really frustrating moment for her.
"I can understand that you have a hard time trusting me but Duke..."
Zayn felt some chill in his body after Ariana called him by his title which she never did. She always calls his name with an annoying tone as if they are intimate with each other. It is bothering him that she called his name too affectionately before, but this, for some reason irks him more.
"You probably don't remember, but Duke, let me remind you again. I'm not Ariana like I used to be. I lost my memories and I don't remember any story between us whether it is good or bad. To me, you, my family, and everybody else is just a stranger now. I can't remember what kind of feeling I should feel even to myself."
Zayn's face changed slightly as if he had just realized something. Maybe he still can't believe that she is losing her mind even though he already observing her.
"I know I can't change whatever happened between us but isn't this better for you? As you said before, you hate me. So there's no need to proceed with the marriage. Don't you think so?"
"So, you wanted to waste my money for your bride training all these 4 years just like that just because you can't remember? Do you think the King will have you back after this canceled engagement when you are just his tool to bind me for his benefit?"
"Is this just me or why does it sound as if you are concerned about me?"
Zayn grabbed Ariana's arm tightly at that time until she gasped a little loudly.
"Ouch!" Ariana tried to push his hand away with her other hand but it won't budge.
"Don't get me wrong princess. I might be happy if we don't get married, but after thinking for a while, this love-hate relationship is not that bad at all. This marriage will happen no matter what you said and I will prepare for it fast. No more postponing. I'll make you suffer as you are his child, even if you are just a discarded princess who is not having any benefit to him anymore. At least, I can use your title for my own gain before my revenge is fulfilled. Be prepared."
After saying his piece, he let go of Ariana, rough, before stepping back distancing himself from her.
Ariana began to rub her sore arm. It never crossed her mind that the man was capable of such rude behavior. But she is not finished yet.
"Does that mean you are willing to sacrifice your own happiness just because of your revenge? From what I see you never treat me well. Is it not enough all this time, for what you did to me? It's not like only you who suffer."
"It will never be enough," Zayn answered quickly. "Happiness? Your family already pulled all that from me since that day. I didn't even know, what is 'happiness' anymore. So, don't even think to run away Ariana. Since the day we've been tied together, I already swear to myself that I will never stop torturing your feelings."
Ariana knows now, this man right here is serious with what he is saying.
'At least he is sincere.'
"You really hate me huh?"
Zayn smirked in irritation.
"Must I say it repeatedly for you to be convinced? Should I say it every day until the words become my prayer?"
"I'm not the one who ruined your life."
"No, you are the worst. You already know how I feel toward 'the Conrad' but you still force yourself on me. So don't act like a victim now. You should be proud that finally, I give you a chance, to stay as my wife and see if you can survive."
Ariana lowered her face a little at that time. She knows she can't change this person's mind anymore so she is also feeling her own determination now. It is not herself if she doesn't fight back.
Slowly, she raised her face back, looking at him with the same cold face he had already shown her. This is it. There's no turning back.
"Fine. Do whatever you want. Marriage, hatred, revenge, or whatever. But remember this Duke Basileious, whatever you give me I'm going to give back. The same pain, the same hate, the everything. So, brace yourself as I won't sit and do nothing as I used to."
"Sound fun. Just don't cry in front of me like you used to. If you wanted to change and fight me, do it properly."
Zayn continued to walk away without even looking back. He is already wasting a lot of time today.
Ariana took a deep breath after seeing him leave. She never thought that talking to him would make her feel this tired.
"He clearly didn't take my words to his heart. Ark!"
Like before, after she talked to Zayn, a ringing sound in her ears and a sharp pain started coming.
"Ugh!"
This time, she couldn't bear the pain and continued to sit on the floor holding her head, and closing her eyes. A memory that she didn't know started hovering in her eyes,
Here Ariana is just a small child, hovering in one area before hearing a scream. She runs with her tiny feet to see what happens.
"You! You won't get away from this Alexander. You are already being punished by heaven. Just look what happened to your wife and daughter."
Was seen there A man with a royal seal in his clothes now kneeling in front of Alexander Conrad who was drawing his sword and aiming at him.
"You should think twice before saying anything Richard. I won't show mercy anymore."
"You think you won by killing me? You are not. I swear, you won't have the throne for long. I..."
Swish! Clang!
Small Ariana was shocked and shivered when she saw her father beheading that man without blinking, blood started splattering everywhere, even on her clothes and face.
Soon screams began to appear here and there.
"We won! Long live King Alexander! Long live Conrad!"
At that time, Alexander looked at Ariana with hatred.
"Why only you here? Where is Adeline?!"
"No!" Small Ariana screamed in horror.
"My lady! Open your eyes!"
Hearing Lily's voice, Ariana continued to open her eyes. She can feel that she is sweating and gasping for breath, and she is still remain in the same place.
"What's wrong my lady? Why are you suddenly on the floor?" Lily started to worry.
"What's this memory?"
Ariana asks herself as this is not the first time she gets this kind of visual and it's also triggered after she is talking with the Duke. Why?
"What? Is there anything wrong lady? Don't scare me...." Lily, who was kneeling next to her started becoming dramatic.
Slowly, Ariana looked at Lily.
"I'm sorry Lily. But I don't feel so good now."
"W-What?"
So Ariana kept collapsing, passed out in Lily's lap.
"Oh my! My lady!"
Lily's loud screaming is heard loudly there, making Sir Robert the knight to come faster.
After some time,
Ariana woke up with the same view of the ceiling of her room that she already occupies for days now... Again. Her body feels too tired. The feeling she doesn't really like.
She tried to raise her hand and found that she was shaking violently.
"Ugh, This isn't good. Why does this body feel so weak?! " She started feeling irritated with herself. She never passed out in the other world. In fact, she's always the one who makes people faint!
Silence accompanied her at the time. The dark atmosphere of the room made her know that it was already late at night. Looks like she passed out for a while today as she remembers when she confronted Zayn, it's only morning.
What? Morning?!
Krukkkk! As she started realizing that she didn't touch any food for such a long time, her stomach began to growl.
"No... My precious foods..." Ariana is crying without tears now.
Even with her hungry stomach, she still hasn't moved from her bed as she feels lazy. She knows she can just ask someone to make something for her even though it's midnight, but she doesn't have the heart to do it.
"This is it. I can let my stomach suffer any further. Let's go to the kitchen to find something. Hopefully, there's some bread and jam. That will be enough to get through the entire night before my delicious breakfast tomorrow. " Ariana sounded determined now so she got off the bed, but her foot hit the side of the bed furniture quite hard so she complained of pain.
"Ack! My leg..." Instantly she grabbed her sore leg and rubbed it fast, hoping the pain would go away soon, but her eyes caught something falling from behind the furniture that was now moving from its original place.
Her curiosity now overcame her pain.
"What is it? Why is it coming out from a suspicious place? " Her investigation mode is activated.
She quickly picked up the fallen thing.
"A book?" She started to open and read. Just with a few lines, she knows this is not a regular book.
"It's... A diary perhaps? Great. I might find something here."
Forgetting about her hunger, she skimmed the diary and read it carefully. There must be something here that is so important that the girl carefully hides the diary like that.
"Here... She hires people to find some information before she attempts suicide. The question is what kind of information does she want to know? Geez... This girl. Isn't this your diary? Why you are not putting the right information so it's easier for me? " Ariana started nagging here.
"What's this... Carl is fired by the duke. It's all my fault. I should protect him, but I can't because I'm afraid the duke will find out. What the... Don't tell me this girl has an affair when she already has a very fine fiancee. Well, except for his foul mouth, he's fine, especially in the face." Ariana began to compliment Zayn unconsciously.
"But, it seems this girl is investigating something and doing something out of her own capabilities. She can't act alone, did she? With this body that is easy to be carried by the wind." Ariana glanced at her thin body without any of her proud muscles.
"I need to start training again before doing something dangerous. That's it. I can't be lazy anymore."
Krukkk!!! This time Ariana can't ignore her suffering stomach.
"Ugh, let's get some food first. I'm going to die before I finish reading this diary."
She then put the diary back in its place and pushed back the furniture as if nothing had happened before. Taking her scarf to cover her sleepwear she is now on a mission to feed herself.
She opened the door of her room and looked left and right. There was no one there not even knights.
It's not like she wanted to find them, but she's feel a bit strange because in the part of the castle where she lives, she rarely comes across other knights other than her own personal one. But on the other side, that is at Zayn's residence, she can see knights walking here and there.
'Don't tell me he doesn't even care about my safety? ' Ariana had time to think about that.
Dismissing the thinking as she had something more important to take care of, she started walking happily towards the kitchen which she already knew where it was located. It is the first place she memories when Lily showed her before anyway!
But one thing she needs to be careful about is because the kitchen is actually between her residence and the Duke's residence. It's like a shared kitchen as it's probably a bother to even have a different kitchen and different cooks!
It's nothing much, but right now she doesn't have the energy to run into that Duke.
As soon as she arrived, Ariana kept looking here and there for something that could relieve her hunger at that time. As she can't find anything yet, she settles with finding plates and cups first. She didn't realize that there was a silhouette watching her behavior from behind.
"Oh, my God!"
As soon as she turned around, she was shocked as soon as she realized that there were other people there making her sit on the floor and let go of the plate and cup she was holding, also falling to the floor.
Ariana continued to massage her chest to calm herself before staring sharply at the man.
"What are you doing here?"
Zayn finally came out of where he was leaning towards Ariana and started to look down, picking up the scattered cups and plates.
"I can ask you the same." He said.
Zayn was already aware of Ariana's condition that day after being told by Smith. His heart is a little soft as he realizes she always fainted after talking to him, so he held back now. Didn't want to talk about his hatred every time they encounter each other. At least until she is completely healthy.
"Why are you snooping around like a thief?" He asked again.
Ariana tilted her head a little. Analyzing the man who was standing in front of her at that time. Seems like this is the most decent conversation they had after she woke up in this body.
"I'm hungry." She decided to be honest.
Zayn frowned after hearing that, but he didn't say anything. He then approached Ariana and pulled her hands, helping her to get up.
"Oh," Ariana obviously didn't expect that. Her face blushed a little at the sudden contact.
"Do you want to sit on the floor overnight?" He asked again after letting go of her. It's not a friendly tone, but not cold either.
"Um... No." Ariana didn't know where to look now and just settled by sweeping the dust on her dress.
"You can just ring the bell next to your bed to call the maid. The knights also can help you with anything."
Ariana blinked her eyes a little.
'Is the man trying to teach her?'
"I didn't want to be a bother. It's already late at night. Also, I didn't find any knights."
"They are paid for their work. The more you use them, they will get much more. Robert is away on his official duty, but you have other knights on watch. You just need to call them."
"Call them?" Ariana didn't understand.
"You tell Smith that you feel suffocated when there are too many knights following you around, that's why I ask only Robert to be visible to your eyes. While dozens more knights watch you in silence. You just need to call."
Ariana was stunned for a moment not expecting that. She thought the Duke didn't care. Well, it doesn't mean he doesn't hate her.
"Sit." Zayn directed in his firm voice making Ariana unable to do anything and followed.
Then, suddenly appeared in front of her various types of bread, jam, warm soup, milk, and fruits. Things she didn't find during the search earlier.
Zayn looked at her now after seeing she still hadn't touched all that.
"You said you are hungry."
"Ah, yes." Ariana feels really awkward now facing this Zayn. But the feeling is not bad. He looks like the Zayn she knows in the other world. A kind-heart person.
"Just leave everything on this table after you finish. The kitchen staff will clean everything tomorrow."
"Okay..."
"Call for a knight if you can't find your room," Zayn said it last before he went away leaving Ariana alone there sipping warm soup. Her whole cold body is now also feeling warm and she knows very well that it's not only because of the soup.
"Which one is the real him?"
-- 贈り物
が届きました 
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット