章 6: Looking for the Lost
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It's been two months since Mai and I have started working at SPR as assistants/ investigators. Things have been going well although we haven't had any good cases since the knockoff Chucky doll, and Naru has been bored and angsty. Or at least, that's what I initially thought was the cause of his frustration until I realized it was tied to that all consuming grief he carries on his shoulders like Atlas carries the world. Speaking of which, that sadness hasn't faded at all, and unless he's focused on a case, it is still heavily prevelant. The fact that it hasn't abated at all, that it might even be getting worse as it mixes with guilt, frustration, and self hatred, is starting to worry me.
I'm sitting at my desk, trying to finish some extra work to graduate early when I feel another emotional burst from Naru's office, his magic trembling and nearly, slipping loose, as dangerous levels of depression rise up. It's at this point I decide enough is enough. I gave him space and did not pry, but I can't leave this be anymore. Not when my magic is screaming that I can't let this go on, that I have no help even though I have no idea how.
"Mai, tea and biscuits for Naru and I, and then I need a serious favor." Mai focuses intently on me, hearing the grave tone in my voice. "I need to have a very important discussion. Unless it's an emergency, don't let anyone interrupt."
Mai nods, determination thrumming in the air around her, not even hesitating or asking questions, and I can't help the feeling of gratitude that rises up in me from having found such an amazing friend in this world. When she comes back with a tray, I give her a quick hug, taking it from her, before knocking on Naru's door and slipping inside without waiting for him to deny me entry, because I know he'll try.
Inside, Naru is a tense line, fists and eyes clenched as he tries to reign his own magic on. He doesn't acknowledge me, to busy trying to keep it together as emotional pain consumes him. Setting the tray on a side table by the leather couch he has in here, I walk over and lean on the desk within arms reach of him, in case I have to suppress him, and wait. Eventually, probably fueled by a desire not to look weak in front of anyone, my boss manages to get himself together enough to open his eyes. I'm close enough to see his blue eyes meet mine, and carefully, I lift both of my hands out in silent offer.
He glares, but reluctantly gives in when I just give him a bored look, pressing his shaky palms to mine. As has become routine with us, I pour increasingly larger amounts of my magic into him, before drawing his own unstable magic. To be fair, he's made an excellent bit of progress in refining his energy, but such things are time consuming.
After I feel I've done as much as possible without harming him, I gesture to the couch, settling down sideways with my legs crossed underneath me and placing the tea tray on my lap. I keep my eyes on the ceiling waiting patiently, and after a few moments, Naru joins me. I hand him a cup and wait patiently for him to add his preferred amount of sugar and flavoring.
It's only after he's had his first sip that I speak and break the silence. "I wonder if you know how grateful I am to you." Naru stills, completely off guard as I meet his eyes, lips curling into the barest smile. "You gave me a damn good paying job that allows me to provide for my family, and one that I genuinely enjoy. Additionally, the free time is helping me prepare to graduate early. In the two months that I've been here, I've come to think of you as something of a friend, even if you may not feel the same. So, I'm hoping you believe me in what I say next."
I take a sip of my tea, stirring in some more sugar as I carefully examine his emotions without looking at him. After several moments, he speaks. "What is it?"
I glance at him. "I don't know what's eating you alive, don't know what you're going through, but I sincerely hope you'll allow me to help." I can feel his shock, and then defensiveness and anger rising up soon after, so I carefully deflect. "I'll make you a deal. An answer for an answer. You tell me what is causing you so much pain and frustration so that we can see if I can help, and I do have a strong feeling I can," I can feel his focus sharpening, and the barest bit of hope climbing up through the pain, interest following, "and I'll answer any question you ask truthfully." Although I might leave some shit out.
"How do I know you won't cheat?" I give him a measured look, ignoring the slight sting. It's a fair question, even if it shows how far we are from achieving a true friendship.
"You'll have to take my word for it, I suppose, just as I'll take yours." I answer.
He sighs, "Oddly enough, I believe you, but my question first." I shrug, agreeing easily. He leans forward, eyes searching me, thinking hard. "Why is it that your physical vision is harmed by your psychic visions?"
I wince. Should have guessed that Naru, as paranormal researcher, would pick up how much bullshit that is. He's probably met tons of psychics who aren't affected like i am. I sigh, feeling his triumph and knowing he asked partially because he's trying to force me to back out of our deal.
"That's a long story, but essentially, I made a contract with…someone," His eyes narrow, but he lets it go, for now. "This is the price I pay for my… unique situation."
He tilts his head, thoughtful. "It's true that I've never met a psychic like you. Most aren't capable of seeing such specific events coming, or able to change what they see in the way you can. But, why make a contract for special abilities?"
I raise an eyebrow at him, something that I do as much as possible simply because there were many lifetimes in which I couldn't. "I didn't. I said I made a contract, not that the contract was for my abilities. My abilities are restricted as a side effect of the contract." I'm allowed to reincarnate, and to change fate and use the abilities that are ingrained in my soul, but they have to follow the laws of the universe I'm in, and my eyesight is Fate's petty attempt at limiting me. Or maybe she does it just to make me as miserable as possible.
Naru's gears are turning, and he looks like he's burning to grill me for more. Hilariously, he reminds me of another crazy research nerd from long ago, and it makes me smile into my teacup. I have to keep myself from laughing at how fucking terribly those two would, at least initially, get along. I shake away the thought, remembering my purpose today, and that sobers me up instantly.
"You turn," I nudge him gently, pouring him a bit more tea. It takes several moments, and a tremendous effort on his part, before Naru speaks.
"I'm…looking for my brother. It's why I came to Japan." I'm imedietly tossed into a vision. Two little boys sit together, each dark haired and blue eyes. One is far more reserved than the other and I automatically recognize him as Naru. The other boy, despite being identical, feels completely different, open and cheerful, reminding me sharply of Sora. "Gene," Little Naru states.
Like a string snapping, I'm dropped in the present, sightless once more. "Naru?"
"I'm here." Hands take the tray off my lap, my tea cup gone next. I wait a few moments until I hear them set down, carefully observing his anxious and minuscule hope. He's learned how to pick up when I've had a vision. I didn't think he was able to read people, let alone me, so well. I underestimated him.
"Is it your twin, Gene?" I ask, already knowing I'm right. I feel the energy in his body swirl chaotically, and hear him inhale sharply. Both fear and anticipation are coming from him. What am I missing?
"Yes," Naru's voice is strained.
Something clicks in my head as I remember his devastating grief. "When you say you're looking for him…"
"I… wish to take his body home. He's…he's dead." I clench my jaw, eyes shutting. My heart aches for him. I've lost plenty of people. In this life, it was my parents, but there were countless others. While it's true I've stopped seeing death as others do, stopped thinking of it as a negative thing, I can still feel the pain of being seperated from people you care for. I still hate the idea of someone's life being cut short. The grief of it from everyone around me never lets me forget. Life is so precious, and preserving it is part of the reason I always choose to reincarnate again.
I continue to observe the endless grief of the man in front of me. I want to tell him something comforting, that he's not alone, but Naru isn't the type to want pity. "Okay. I'm sorry for your loss. Can you tell me anything else besides that it's here in Japan? Something that could trigger my vision?"
"He got hit by a van and then tossed into the back. There was a body of water he remembers passing by." Naru stops, breath unsteady and voice trembling. After a second, he continues, "He was dragged somewhere by two men, a shack or basement, and hit over the head with something. I-I couldn't feel him after that." I sense him slump, head in hands, shaking, and I get the feeling he might even be crying. Checking my intuition, I reach out and set my hand on his hair, wanting to filter his magic, but unable to do so so soon since the last time. I don't do anything but rest my hand there and wait as he tries to ease through the grief.
After a while, he sits up straight again, and I let my hand fall away. My vision isn't quite back yet, but I can see enough to semiprofiently grab a cookie and give it to him. He huffs, but starts eating it.
"Naru," he doesn't say anything, but I know he's paying attention. "I'll help you find him. Promise."
I stand up before slowly gathering all the tea and leaving the cookies on Naru's desk. Gathering the tray, I feel my way towards the office door. Naru stands up next to me, nudging my arm gently to correct my path, before reaching around me to open the door.
"Hey," he pauses, "If you need to tell Lin about what I told you, that's okay. Just- try not to spread it around, okay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It's fine. I won't say anything about Gene, though, I promise."
"…Thank you, Tsukiyo." I tip my head, smiling, and slip out.
Naru does seem just a bit less heavy after that, though, and that was all I really wanted. I start looking for Gene after that. It's not many days after that I finally get a vision.
But I have no idea what to do because in it, Gene is sitting in SPR, skinny and injured. The problem is that Naru stated that he came to Japan to look for his twin, meaning Gene has never been to SPR, and if that wasn't proof enough, Mai sure as hell has never served him fucking tea. Therefore, it's safe to assume this has to be a possible future. And there is no way in hell I can tell Naru without knowing what the fuck is going on, because apparently, Gene is bloody alive.
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"Tsukiyo? Are you okay?" Mai asks. I startle, having dozed a bit. I had spent another night sitting and meditating in front of a map. It's what I've been doing every night. If Gene was alive, I was running on a timer. Whoever took him could kill him at any moment. I can't tell anyone, especially Naru, until I have a fucking tip, a location, a face, a name, anything.
"Yeah, of course, I'm fine." I slur to Mai.
"Tsukiyo…this is the third time I've caught you up in the middle of the night. This week. With a map. I know how much you like to sleep, and frankly, you've been missing out on a lot it."
I never really have the desire to lie to the people I care for, so I give her the truth. "I can't tell you right now. I'm sorry. I would if I could."
Mai comes over. "Okay, I believe that. I don't get it, but I'll trust that it's important. Can I help?" I pull her into my side, shaking my head, before suddenly getting a vision. This one is from the past, soon after the doll case.
"I saw the Naru look alike in my dream again. He helped guide me to the information we needed on the case." Mai tells me, as we sit on our couch drinking tea before bedtime.
Past me tilts her head, and damn, I look a bit like a dog when I do that. "Did you find anything out?"
"I asked why he looked like Naru, and he said it was just the way he always looked, that he had no control over it. He… doesn't really feel like a figment of my imagination." Mai informs past me- I yank myself out, my heart starting to race.
"Hey, Mai, a theoretical question for you. How would you feel if I spilled a secret of yours, betraying your trust, but only because it was super duper important, like life or death. Hypothetically." Mai gives me mad side eye, stiffening before signing.
"I know you. You would never hurt me without it being serious. Do what you have to do." She gives me a pointed look, slightly wary. "Hypothetically."
I drag her into a tight hug, squeezing the life out of her. "Thank you. Ditto, Dear."
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I dart into Naru's office, kicking the door shut behind with a bang. Naru and Lin both jerk violently at my entrance, but before they can try to verbally evicerate me, I skid to a stop in front of them.
"Hey, ok, remember that thing I said I'd help with? I maybe, possibly, have a lead." Hope rises in both of them, flooding the room. Pretrichof ocean breeze. Chocolate and bonfire. I push away the feeling, but not fully.
"What?" Naru slides into my space, closer to desperate then I've ever felt, Lin close behind.
"So listen. Mai gets dreams of the future and past. I've been training her as best I can, but our abilities are real fucking different." I raise my palm to hold off the incoming interrogation, "Anyway, she told me something when we started working here. She said someone guided her dreams to help our cases, and that they looked like you. We thought at first that it was some kind of unconscious manifestation, or a spirit disguise. Mai hasn't learned how to guard herself yet, but she's usually good at feeling deception. She asked her little spirit guide. He said basically that he had no control on how he looks." I wheeze, having said so much without taking a breath.
Lin settles a hand on my shoulder, slightly amused even as Naru begins to pace, worry, hope, and excitement warring inside him. "You think it's Gene."
I shrug. "I got a vision of the conversation we had about it from only weeks ago while I was trying to find Gene. It doesn't seem coincidental, and my visions are never arbitrary."
Lin reaches out and sets his hands on Naru, stopping him in place. They stare at each other, having a silent conversation. I had considered telling Lin that I think Gene is alive, but this single interaction shows me I underestimated how close these two are because of their rather stoic demeanors. There is a strong possibility Lin was very close to Gene, too, and I don't want to give him false hope either. If either of them would even believe me to begin with. Hell, I'm not even sure that I believe me.
"Naru," Lin says softly to the younger man, his worry and affection clear as day. My boss takes a deep breath, seemingly grounding himself with Lin's presence.
"I…should talk to Mai. It's unavoidable." He sends a glare my way, and I raise my arms up in surrender.
"Hey, now. I said nothing to her. In fact, I broke her confidence about it because this is more important." He relaxes a bit and I feel a touch of reluctant gratitude. Geez, what a tsundere.
"Call her in. And get out," I huff, bouncing out the door.
"Mai?" I call out, dancing over to her desk.
"Yes, Tsukiyo?"
I wince, "Remember that hypothetical from last night?" She groans loudly over my waterfall of apologies.
"It's fine. What do you need?" She says finally, a bit agitated and nervous, but not raging at me.
"Naru needs you to talk to him for a bit." She groans louder, banging her head into the desk before dragging herself to the office, very sullenly. I'm gonna have to get the biggest, juiciest steak for her tonight. I cringe at her growing embarrassment and upset. Maybe we'll just have meat for the rest of the week. And cake. All the strawberry cake for Mai.
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Mai was filled in on the situation, and joined me in doing her best to help find Gene. She was rather forgiving once she understood why I snitched. Especially, when later that night, I dragged her into my room and told her that I think Gene might not actually be dead yet. That resulted in a fuck ton of naps for her, and many sleepless nights for me. I maintain that I got the short end of this bullshit.
Unfortunately, Mai and I were unable to catch even a glimpse of Gene during this time. Deciding to be more productive, I raided Naru and Lin's bookshelves. As researchers, they had a lot of books on the magic of this world. While some skills, like my foresight, have become imprinted on my soul, and follow me to every one of my new lives, my abilities still have to adhere to whatever the rules of magic are in the world I'm in. Based on the shit I can do at the moment, I'm considered a psychic and a medium. There are still other things I can probably do, but I don't know how to. I'm using the books to look up every protection spell and charm possible, and any other way for me to use my magic to find Gene.
A lot of the things I found were familiar, mainly runes and rituals. It gives me a bit of an advantage as I start making charms, but it is still slow going. When I approached Lin about it, he gave me his card to order the things I would need. Apparently, shit like that is his specialty and it would be considered a company expense.
It's soon after that a new case comes in. It starts with a girl claiming her friend is possessed by a fox, and ends with me putting a woman into the ER and then getting her arrested.
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"Naru!" Mai is upset that Naru doesn't want to help a girl who thinks her friend is possessed, but I can tell we're gonna end up on this case anyway. I ignore the bickering happening in front of me, exasperated at the prospect of listening to another fucking argument, and choosing instead to bring a cup of coffee to Lin. God, those two can be so damn tiresome.
After Lin calls me in when I knock, I hand him his cup, settling to lean against the edge of his desk. He takes his coffee, lips curling into a grin, he pats my shoulder sympathetically. "They are arguing again?"
I snort. "Aren't they always." He laughs, low and warm. Lin had become my little safe haven at the office. Naru is an emotional mess most of the time, and is constantly setting off Mai when he lashes out, but Lin is pretty steady, and less emotional in general. Even though he does get annoyed and frustrated, at 23, he's better then the teens when it comes to having and keeping composure. He lets me flee in here when those two become too much, his aura a balm on my frayed nerves.
"Lin, you are a saint, have I mentioned?" He just laughs again, offering me another cookie. Feeling a familiar aura approach, I perk up, returning to the main room just in time to tackle-hug a tall man in a rocker outfit, and, hysterically, a fedora, looking like an 80's pimp.
"Hey there, It's good to see you, too!" The man, Houshou the monk, lifts me off my feet laughing.
"No way! Is that Monk in there?" Mai asks incredulously. I snicker, returning to stand near Lin, who has come out of his office to see what was going on. Getting a feeling, I grab Lin's laptop and bring it to him just as Monk starts telling Naru about his case. I hum, letting my eyes shut, reaching my magic up to catch a vibe.
Apparently, a fan had told Monk, who is a relatively popular local rock musician, and a monk only on the side, about a desk in her school that seems cursed. Anyone who sits there has gotten into an accident. The same accident. They've been getting their arms caught in train doors, and dragged. I catch a quick vision of one such occurrence, but I can't say I decisively saw anything besides the girl jolting back and her arm getting caught. There wasn't anyone behind her, and she should have made it out just fine, although I might have seen a flash of something when she was pulled. What could have caused that?
Monk tells us how there have been 4 victims so far, and how the teacher has ended up in the hospital, coughing blood and ranting about seeing ghosts. Apparently, there are tons of things going on there, in the same school, Yuasa High, as the girl who believed her friend was possessed. Not a coincidence.
"Mai, a guest is coming," I tell my friend, remaining seated, because my eyes are acting up. When said guest turns out to be principal of Yuasa High, Naru accepts the case.
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Yuasa High is a mess, and I'm not sure why. As soon as we get to base, the principal tells us about the disembodied hand that knocks on his window at night. After that, it's just story after story after story from the students when base is set up. From a possessed girl, to a haunted desk, to the track team's locker room, to a storage closet, even ghost hands touching and making people ill.
It's only when we go to see the desk that I get my first hint. Everyone to sit there has been involved in the same kind of train accident, so I wasn't sure what I expected, but it wasn't what I saw.
"This is it?" Naru reaches out to touch the desk, but I grab his hand tightly, not willing to let him touch the thing. There is magic on it, or in it, something small, but it's giving off incredible malicious energy that has all my hackles raising. Anger, rage, vengeance, sadistic pride, DANGEROUS. This is what they get, what they deserve, the magic seems to whisper, making me cringe in disgust, my own magic rising into my skin in response, defensive against a danger I can't see. Whoever placed it, did so in order to hurt someone. I tune everything out, trying to catch something more on the caster, but I get nothing.
"Tsukiyo?" Mai breaks me out of my thoughts. Her and Naru are the only ones left in the room, and both are watching me intently. I shake my head.
"Let's get back to base. I don't want to be in here." They agree, disturbed and wary, but we make it back, and meet with Lin.
"Are you ready?" Naru asks. I nod. "Did you see a spirit?"
I blink, head tilting. "No, actually, I haven't seen or felt a single ghost, to be entirely honest."
"Really? Then what happened in that room?" Mai questions, plopping down into the chair next to me, her shoulder pressing into mine.
I hesitate, struggling to put it into words. "The desk, there is an object in it that has malicious magic in it, it's harmful to interact with it. It feels really, really awful. My instincts are screaming that these incidents are dangerous and deliberate."
"That's why you didn't want me toiching it," Naru says, leaning forwards, his curiosity shifting towards something like amusement. "You're like a giant mother hen worrying about every bruise and scrape"
I shrug, unable to disagree. "I'm very protective of my friends."
The spike of surprise in Naru shifts his emotions to something slightly softer, somewhere between touched and smug. Rolling waves and deadly blizzards ease just the barest hint. Rapid, tumultuous magic curls in powerful, but controlled spirals. I roll my eyes. Narcissist. But at least his energy is in a much better state.
"Regardless, something's not right here. Individually, these incidents aren't a big deal, but altogether it's abnormal. Of course that's assuming they're all true. But the similarities…There has to be something causing it, and based on what Tsukiyo feels, it's a deliberate attack. We need to see who has a grudge around here."
That feels right, but I don't really know how a mass infestation would even happen, I feel like the object can't be a coincidence, but I have no idea how it ties in. I glance past Naru to the vivid sky behind him, blood and fire painting a sunset.
"We'll meet back here tomorrow morning. I'm calling in back up." I nod, understanding the dismissal. As Mai and I grab our things, I pause In the doorway.
"Boss?" He hums. "Could you please,…leave the desk until I'm back with you tomorrow? Please?"
Naru, and Lin surprisingly, seem to soften, and dare I say it, that might even be a hint of fondness. "It's late anyway. If it will give you peace of mind, that's fine. But be here early tomorrow morning, I'm not waiting if you're late."
I beam, grabbing Mai's arm and heading out, relieved. As we head home, Mai and I pick up stuff for groceries for our friend tomorrow, and dinner for tonight. The night is peaceful. Until Mai wakes me up at an unholy hour, frantic about a dream of Gene and foxfire's.
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