章 2: Screwed Up
As Uzi and Y/N journeyed into the frozen, desolate arctic wasteland, they trudged through knee-deep snow and icy gusts of wind. Despite the brutal conditions, Uzi felt invigorated by the warmth emanating from her nuclear-powered companion, which hummed steadily at her side.
Their destination was the Corpse House, a derelict building that stood tall amidst the frozen tundra, its walls caked with layers of ice and snow.
Along the way, they stumbled upon a downed Drone pod, its metal carcass lying twisted and broken in the snow. Uzi quickly sprang into action, rummaging through the wreckage to scavenge materials for her trusty railgun.
Meanwhile, Y/N diligently searched for useful scraps at Uzi's request, their mechanical limbs whirring softly in the frigid air. As they worked, the only sounds were the crunch of snow underfoot and the faint hiss of wind.
Suddenly, a sharp noise jolted Uzi out of her focus. She spun around, her railgun at the ready, and saw a shadowy figure swooping down from the sky.
It was a winged drone, its metallic wings glinting menacingly in the pale moonlight. Uzi's heart raced as she watched in horror as the drone slammed into the corpse of a Worker Drone, crushing it with its claws.
The Disassembly Drone loomed before them, its towering form draped in a sleek, dark gray fur collared coat that swayed ominously in the biting wind. A black hat sat atop its head, its silver hair neatly parted to the left, lending it an air of sinister sophistication.
But despite its sharp, angular features and razor-sharp metal wings and claws, it was the neon yellow cross that replaced its eyes that sent shivers down Uzi's spine.
Its jagged mouth twisted into a grotesque smile as it eyed Uzi and Y/N, its tail swishing eagerly behind it. At the tip of its tail glinted a syringe filled with nanite acid, a deadly substance capable of dissolving even the toughest of materials.
Uzi's heart pounded in her chest as she whispered the curse under her breath, her eyes fixed on the looming figure of the Disassembly Drone. She crawled on her belly, inching her way back towards Y/N, who stood frozen in shock.
When she finally reached her companion, Uzi grabbed onto Y/N's hazmat jacket and pulled them down behind a nearby machinery, out of the Disassembly Drone's line of sight. Y/N opened their mouth to ask a question, but Uzi quickly silenced them by pressing her finger to their lips.
"Shh...shhh. Quiet." Uzi whispered urgently. "That thing outside is a Murder Drone. If it comes near us, we're dead." She paused for a moment, her mind racing as she tried to come up with a plan. And then it hit her.
"Wait a minute, your defense system!" Uzi exclaimed, a flicker of hope igniting in her chest. "Hah! Just use your automatic cannon and blow it to scrap heap hell!"
"My...what?" Y/N asked, confusion showing in their visor as they struggled to understand what Uzi was talking about.
Uzi let out a frustrated groan, her patience wearing thin. "You gotta be kidding..." She muttered under her breath. She knew they didn't have time for this, but she also knew that their survival depended on Y/N's ability to defend them.
With a deafening thud, the Disassembly Drone landed mere inches away from Uzi and Y/N, its massive form casting a long shadow over them. The impact sent shockwaves rippling through the ground, knocking the railgun out of Uzi's trembling hands.
With lightning-fast reflexes, Uzi jumped away from the drone, backflipping through the air and landing in a crouch, her body poised for action. She couldn't help but feel a sense of exhilaration at the realization that all those hours spent pirating anime had honed her physical skills to a razor's edge.
"Whoa, and they said pirating all that anime was useless..." Uzi shook her head, a wry smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
She turned to Y/N, her eyes darting between them and the drone. "Hey, um, I could really use that railgun over there right now! Or your cannon, just whatever!"
"Right!" Y/N nodded, finally understanding the gravity of their situation. They spun around, ready to retrieve their weapon, but before they could take a step, the Disassembly Drone lunged at them, its stinger poised to strike.
"Hurry up- AGH!" Uzi screamed, her hand searing with pain as the drone's stinger sliced through her metal hand like a hot knife through butter.
She stumbled back, clutching her wounded palm, the nanite acid oozing from her pierced hand. She gritted her teeth, trying to push through the pain and stay focused on the task at hand. Not before she was flung to the side.
The impact from the Disassembly Drone's attack sent Uzi flying, her body hurtling through the air before crashing down beside her discarded railgun.
She groaned in pain, her body aching from the impact, but she refused to let the pain distract her. She struggled to her feet, her hand still throbbing from the drone's attack.
Meanwhile, Y/N's hand began to glow with a bright, pulsating energy. The radiation emanating from their body intensified as they formed a cannon-like weapon, charging it with their nuclear power. The energy crackled and surged, a dangerous and volatile force ready to be unleashed.
With a fierce determination, Uzi aimed her railgun at the Disassembly Drone, her finger tightening around the trigger. "Bite us!" She exclaimed, the defiance in her voice ringing loud and clear.
As one, Uzi and Y/N unleashed the full power of their weaponry. The railgun's green laser and the cannon's radioactive energy beam combined, merging into a single, devastating blast that shot towards the Disassembly Drone.
The beam hit the drone with a thunderous explosion, the force of the impact blasting back Uzi and Y/N. The drone's head vaporized in a shower of sparks and shrapnel, its metal body crumpling and falling to the ground in a heap.
Uzi's heart raced as she looked down at the smoking wreckage of the Disassembly Drone. She let out a triumphant whoop, unable to contain her excitement.
"Holy hell! Suck on that, Dad!" She exclaimed, her voice tinged with a mix of satisfaction and defiance.
She couldn't wait to tell her father about this victory, to prove to him that she was more than just a liability.
Beside her, Y/N looked on in amazement, their eyes wide with wonder. "Oh... So that's what a defense system is." They murmured, their voice filled with awe and curiosity.
Uzi turned to them, a grin spreading across her face. "Yeah, it's pretty badass, right?" She said, her voice teasing. "We're gonna have to catch you up on your own features..."
As Uzi and Y/N stood there, basking in their victory, a strange sound filled the air. It was a wet, gurgling noise, like something was bubbling up from the depths of the Disassembly Drone's corpse.
At first, Uzi didn't pay it much attention, chalking it up to some residual noise from the explosion. But then she saw something that made her oil run cold.
The Disassembly Drone's head, or what was left of it, was twitching. And then, to her horror, it began to regenerate. Uzi's eyes widened as she watched the metal and wires twist and shift, knitting themselves back together in a grotesque display of inhuman regeneration.
"Shit!" She exclaimed, panic rising in her chest. She scrambled for something, anything, to use as a weapon. Finally, her hand closed around the arm of a disassembled Worker Drone, and she swung it at the Disassembly Drone's head with all her might.
To her horror, it did nothing. The metal arm bounced off the regenerating head as if it were made of rubber. Uzi backed away, her heart pounding in her chest, as the Disassembly Drone's eyes opened, blinking a few times before fixing on her and Y/N.
"Did you just slap me with that arm?" It asked, sheepishly rubbing the spot where Uzi had hit it.
Uzi's eyes widened in surprise as the drone spoke. "Holy crap, it talks." She exclaimed, taking a step back.
The Disassembly Drone shifted uneasily, its sensors malfunctioning and displaying error messages as it tried to scan Uzi and Y/N.
"Yeah... Sorry, it's just my, uh, head kind of hurts." It said, wincing. "Hey, are you two new to our squad? You're a little, uhh..." It trailed off, eyeing the two newcomers suspiciously before letting out a shrug.
"...a bit short for Disassembly Drones." It said, before raising a hand to its head in a salute. "I'm Serial Designation N, nice to meet you. I'm kind of the leader of the squad in this city."
N's voice faltered slightly as he added. "That's not true, everyone tells me I'm useless and terrible. Wait, I'm not supposed to tell you that part! Biscuits!"
He shuffled awkwardly before continuing, "Well, honesty is the best policy. Heh, I also can't seem to remember the past 3 hours of my life, but I'm sure that'll sort itself out."
"Uh huh... I, uh, we, have to go." Uzi stammered, her voice strained.
But then, Uzi's hand trembled as she reached out to grab Y/N's, the burning sensation from the nanite acid intensifying with each passing moment.
N noticed Uzi's discomfort and sprang into action. "Stung yourself? Just pop it in your mouth." He said matter-of-factly. "Our saliva neutralizes the nanites, otherwise I'd be constantly disassembling myself." He said, quickly grabbing the nanite acid syringe attached to his tail before he stabbed himself. "Heh."
Uzi's eyes widened in surprise as she realized what N was suggesting. "And by OUR saliva, you mean..." She trailed off, a look of incredulity on her face.
"Disassembly Drone?" N and Uzi said in unison, their voices blending together in a strange harmony.
Y/N watched the exchange with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, unsure of what to make of the strange creatures before her. As Uzi hesitated, uncertain of whether to trust N's unconventional remedy, Y/N spoke up. "Should I come with?" she asked, her voice hesitant.
Uzi nodded, relief flooding through her. "Yeah, just in case... y'know..." She trailed off, leading the way towards the nearby landing pod.
N's mouth closed around Uzi's infected hand, his saliva quickly neutralizing the nanite acid. Uzi winced slightly at the sensation, but the burning quickly subsided, leaving behind only a strange, tingly feeling. She pulled her arm back, shaking off the remaining saliva with a grimace.
"Sweet!" N exclaimed, chuckling nervously. "Uh, I'm open to new things, I guess." He seemed somewhat flustered, as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation.
Uzi rolled her eyes, clearly unhappy about having to resort to such an unorthodox treatment. "We are never talking about this," she said firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument.
"Talking about what?" N asked innocently, a mischievous smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Consider it, uh... Repressed!"
Uzi shook her head, a hint of a worried grimace at the corners of her lips. "...Uh, you mentioned other members of our squad?" she asked, eager to change the subject. "Are they coming back soon?"
"Oh, yeah," N said, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "Two others. They're out hunting for a bit but you'll love them. First there's V." As he spoke, a flashback began to play in his mind, the memories flooding back with surprising clarity.
(Flashback...)
As the scene cuts to the introduction of V, the camera zooms in on a female Disassembly Drone with piercing yellow eyes. Her dark silver hair was permed and held back with a black headband that boasted five glowing yellow lights.
Her sharp claws were retractable, and her wings tucked neatly at her sides. Her slim waist and slender body were complemented by a black short-sleeved crop coat that sported a fuzzy collar. Her long, black legs appeared to be sheathed in thigh-high boots.
N witnessed V tear the entrails out of a helpless Worker Drone as she cornered him with a sociopathic expression.
The worker pleads, begging her not to feed him his own entrails in front of his family. But V remains unbothered and heartless. She watches with a crazy eye twitch as she feeds the worker his own entrails and kills him in cold oil.
"...And yet, I still feel nothing," V said nonchalantly, her crazy eye twitching uncontrollably.
"So, V, uh, I heard this planet-wide toxic death storm is supposed to be especially inhospitable tonight-" N started.
"Oh God, who are you?!" V said, flying away from the scene.
"No worries, I'm N! But a whole letter is a lot to remember!" N answered, laughing nervously, trying to defuse the tense situation.
(Flashback End)
"So obviously, a lot of mutual respect there. But secretly, I actually kind of have a crush on her..." N trailed off, looking embarrassed. He quickly turned to Uzi and put his hands together in a pleading gesture. "You can't tell her, okay?!"
Uzi responded by miming zipping her lips shut, which Y/N copied, not fully understanding the gesture. N smiled at the two of them, grateful for their discretion.
"Anyway, then there's J, our leader." N said, moving on from his embarrassing confession
(Flashback...)
Another female Disassembly Drone with yellow neon eyes and silverish hair in twin-tails tied with black ribbons. Like other Murder Drones, she had a black headband with five sections of lights and a long, thin black tail ending in a large syringe, both with a neon yellow liquid inside.
She had more of an "anime schoolgirl" approach to her appearance and wore a typical businesswoman-style suit. In this scenario, J was pinning N to the ground, stomping her foot over his chest.
"N, you're worthless, and terrible." Within ragged breaths, J recieved a "thank you" from N. "...and if the company allowed it, I would straight up kill you myself!"
(Flashback End)
"J's awesome! Hey, let me give you the tour! Outside are the corpse...wall...thingies, and here are the buttons!" He says as he begins pressing buttons on the pod's panel, not really knowing if it was at random or not.
"This isn't just a landing pod... This is a spaceship! This could get us off the planet!" Uzi exclaimed, an idea forming in her head.
"More of a one-use missile. They never taught us how to land." N added, a bit wary of where this was going.
"No, I, uh, uh, the worker drones, we could work with them to fix this! Instead of all the murder! ...Which, uh, why are we doing that again...?" Uzi asked, still playing the Murder Drone facade.
"Other than ingesting their WARM, SWEET oil to avoid overheating and dying? I guess I just want to be useful. I was given a job and I always want to try my best." N replied.
"And look at all the respect it's gotten you, N. You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the worker drones are dead?" Uzi questioned, really giving N something to think about.
"Oh my, you sure are rebellious! It's kind of exciting. But, not as fun as, uh, following the rules..." Looking for a change in subject, N turned to Y/N. "What do you think, friend?"
"I'll blindly follow the lead of whoever happens to find me first." Y/N replied, still naive from being activated just earlier. "I've been programmed to follow orders, but also learn things on my own, so I don't really have a preference either way. At least, not at the moment..."
"Hey, wait a minute. If you're supposed to learn things on your own, then how the heck can you speak if you don't even-" Uzi paused, shaking her head. "Actually, don't answer, because I have a feeling that I'm not getting one either way."
Y/N shrugged, confirming Uzi's suspicions. Then again, Y/N's intelligence and personality is based on what they learn from their environment, so it will take some time to develop. Interrupting Uzi's thoughts, J and V's footsteps were heard from outside the pod.
"Hey, they're back! You-" N paused as neither Uzi nor Y/N were in sight anymore. Rather, they were outside, Uzi pulling Y/N's hand urgently.
Idiot, get out here!" J's voice called out from outside the pod.
Back outside, Uzi was seen dragging Y/N along behind her as they retreated from the Corpse House. V glided down, perching on the side of the Corpse House, seeing the duo run away. "Yo, we got two workers out there. I kind of want to practice balloon animal shapes with... What happened here?"
"Synergistic Liability here must have tripped and knocked himself offline." J said, slapping N across the face, causing him to go through a system reboot. "Moron box, hello?" She snapped her fingers at N as his memories returned to him.
A recording starts replaying out in N's head, showing Uzi's words of rebellion. "Do you really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead?" The recording rewound a bit, back to the moment his head got vaporized by the combined beams of both Y/N and Uzi's weapons. "Bite us!"
YOU'RE DEAD
[IDIOT]
N's system reboot finished, immediately snapping himself back to his senses. Realizing the grave mistake he'd made, he held his head in his hands. "Ohhhh..." His visor begins to show Uzi's and Y/N's footprints.
"Ohhhh! You know, I-I left an extremely dangerous weap- eh- excuse outside...!" He fled the scene as J scrunched her eyes and V held up a flag that said "Literally So Insanely Suspicious".
N went off in pursuit of Uzi and Y/N, now back to his sense, willing to take them out and hunt them for their source of sustain. The two Worker Drones were fleeing back to the colony, Uzi panicked and worried.
Uzi's voice was strained and anxious as she turned to face Y/N, her eyes scanning the horizon for any signs of danger. The wind howled around them, adding an eerie quality to the already tense situation.
"Hey Y/N!" She called out urgently. "Any luck with that nuclear cannon thingy?! We're kinda screwed if you don't figure it out soon. There's probably three Disassembly Drones chasing us right now!"
Y/N's circuits buzzed with the urgency of the situation. They quickly processed the information, their programming working to find a solution. "I'm working on it, Uzi! I was only activated a few minutes ago." Y/N replied, their voice sounding more emotionally influenced than ever before.
Uzi's frustration was palpable. "Agh, come on!" she exclaimed, "If I had found you sooner, we could have been done with this whole mess weeks ago!" She complained.
"Well, whatever! We're gonna get you inside the colony, and you're gonna figure out how to use the features those humans implanted on you. Good thing I brought your manual!" Uzi said, pointing to the thick book poking from inside her jacket.
As they ran towards the safety of the colony, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. They had been created to learn and adapt, and now that they knew Disassembly Drones were programmed to kill them and Uzi, they had to work quickly if they were going to make it out alive.
Uzi hurried towards the first door of the colony, her mechanical heart pounding in her chest. As she swiped her keycard, the door slid open with a hiss, allowing the cold air to rush in. The Worker Drones, who were stationed inside, groaned in irritation at the sudden chill.
"Bite me! Close it, close it!" Uzi yelled, frantically trying to swipe her keycard to shut the door. However, N, with his sharp claws, wedged the door open, preventing it from closing.
"Hey, fellas," N greeted the Worker Drones, his tone laced with false cheer, "Oh, deal me in, I love rummy. Wait, no, I'm going to murder everyone... Rain check!" With a flick of his acidic tail, he sliced through the door's keycard scanner, destroying it beyond repair.
The doors to the colony slid open, revealing a bustling hub of activity. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Uzi grabbed Y/N and the other drones, minus one named Todd, and they began to run towards safety.
"Um, actually, it's gin rummy. So-" Todd began to interject, but before he could finish his sentence, N impaled him against a nearby wall, slicing his head clean off. Oil spurted out of the decapitated drone, covering the ground in a slick, metallic sheen.
Without hesitation, N began firing at the drones with deadly accuracy. His laser cutter sliced through the air, decimating anything in its path.
He took out a worker drone named Makarov with a single shot, obliterating his head from his body. In a swift movement, N pounced on another drone, tearing it apart with his metallic claws.
Meanwhile, another worker drone caught up with Uzi and Y/N, interrupting their escape. "Hey, Uzi! I just realized no one's said my name out loud before, so I'm just letting you know I'm-" The drone was abruptly silenced as N's laser cutter sliced through his body, leaving nothing but a smoldering pile of wires and metal.
As N flew off in pursuit of Uzi and Y/N, Uzi's railgun finally finished recharging. She turned back to fire at N, only to see that he had vanished into thin air. To make matters worse, Uzi's father, Khan, suddenly appeared before her.
"Pretty nice hydraulics, huh?" Khan remarked as he saw the chaos that had unfolded. He paused, taking in the scene before him.
"What... What have you done? Who is THIS?" He demanded, pointing accusingly at Y/N. Before Uzi could explain, N swooped in, eager to finish what he had started.
"I'm sorry. I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing." N said before pointing at Y/N. "And I don't know what you are, but you're equipped with weapons of the same caliber as that railgun, and I can't have that."
"Bite me!" Uzi signaled to Khan. "Dad, get down!"
"Uzi, you lead a murder drone here?! My beautiful doors!" Khan exclaimed, clearly more concerned about the state of his doors than the danger his daughter was currently facing.
"Now is so not the time! I messed up, in the same way I'm about to fix it! Move, dad!" Uzi shouted, her voice cracking with emotion.
But before she could pull the trigger, N moved with lightning-fast speed, pinning Uzi against the wall and causing her railgun to clatter to the ground. Uzi struggled to break free, straining against N's iron grip. "Dad... Point and shoot... Trust me...!" She gasped, her eyes pleading with Khan to do something.
But Khan was frozen with fear, his hands shaking as he backed away from the scene. Uzi's heart broke at the sight of her own father abandoning her in her moment of need. "Dad...?" She whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own breathing.
With a sense of despair settling in her chest, Uzi resigned herself to her fate. But just as she was about to give up, she heard a familiar voice and the whirring of a cannon.
"Uzi, move out the way!" Y/N shouted, their cannon already charged and ready to fire.
Summoning all the strength she had left, Uzi pushed herself away from the wall and onto the ground. She watched as Y/N's cannon fired, the beam tearing through the air towards N.
N tried to dodge, but it was too late. The blast caught him in its path, tearing away the bottom half of his body and his left arm. Uzi stared in shock as N's body crumpled to the ground, deactivated for the time being.
N fell to the floor, writhing in pain as he tried to regenerate his missing limbs. Y/N watched him warily, knowing that the Disassembly Drone was capable of healing quickly from even the most grievous injuries.
They decided against completely neutralizing N, knowing that it would only lead to more trouble in the future. Instead, they focused on Uzi's safety, scooping her up in their arms and carrying her towards a safer location.
As they ran, the room began to turn red and alarms blared, signaling N's return to consciousness. Y/N could feel their nuclear-powered heart pounding in their chest as they glanced back over their shoulder, watching as the Disassembly Drone slowly regenerated his missing limbs. Just as they were about to make their escape, J and V appeared on the scene.
"Whoa, N! Am I dreaming, or did you do something not useless, for once?" J said, her voice tinged with disbelief. She took a closer look at the Disassembly Drone, frowning as she noticed the sorry state of his body. "But even when you do something right, you still manage to look sad."
"Don't tell me one of those worker drones did this to ya!" V teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Still, I've been trying to get past those doors for months. Nice work, N."
N stumbled towards his co-drones. "You...Me...Name...Remember...?" He stammered, not really believing that they would remember him after all this time.
But J and V seemed more interested with their hunting plan than with N's existential crisis. "These ventilation shafts can easily get us around this last door. Lowest body count eats a missile!" V said, unfurling her wings and crashing through the ceiling with a gleeful grin.
"Way to go, stud. The company's gonna love this. With this colony wiped, we'll make top team this quarter, for sure. You know what that means... Branded pens!" J said, holding up a JCJenson brand pen, much to N's joy. She tossed it to him and prepared to fly off and catch up with V.
"...Uh, you know, not that I can't wait to keep decomissioning all these, uh, maybe not-so-actually different from us Worker Drones, but, just out of curiosity, do we actually, uh, know what the company plans to do with us afterwards...?" N asked, making J stop in her tracks.
"Excuse me...?" J questioned, looking back at N, who had begun a more worried expression.
"Okay, so, a worker earlier might have suggested that they could fix up our landing pod to, uh, escape the planet and stuff, which, whoa, hey, that's against the rules! But, it is kind of making me question why our pods were only one way in the first place." N said, causing J to raise her eyebrow.
"Cause, you know, I get the feeling the company doesn't actually love robots, and like... we might be robots... I've made a terrible mistake. It's cool how immediately I could tell." N said, trying to explain himself.
"Hmm... No way, buddy. Questioning the company? You just finally gave me the excuse I needed." J injected N with a virus that made him glitch out and crash. "Worker drones are corrupted, N. That's why the company sent us. I hate to see you corrupted as well."
"Thanks, J... Always looking out for me... You're awesome..." N said in a glitchy voice, being left behind by her.
Uzi and Y/N cautiously emerged from their hiding spot behind a rusted dumpster, their eyes scanning the red-lit hallway for any signs of danger. As they approached the fallen N, he said. "Ah, biscuits. I'm sorry. I ruined your card game, then made you have an awkward moment with your dad."
Uzi's expression turned to one of annoyance as she replied to N. "And I made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill me, so morality calls this a draw."
Y/N, their hand resting on the handle of their cannon, interjected with a more serious tone, "Shall I end his suffering, Uzi? It would be the humane thing to do."
Uzi hesitated for a moment before responding, "No, Y/N. And for the record, N, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history. Was that supposed to be you switching sides?"
N managed a small smile despite his dire situation. "Being rebellious is a lot harder than it looks. Thanks for showing me the ropes."
Uzi's expression softened for a moment before she quickly snapped back into her usual demeanor. "Nuh-uh, no bonding thing. You just killed a bunch of people, idiot."
N let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "That's super fair... I screwed up..." He muttered, his voice tinged with regret.
Uzi's frustration was palpable as she rolled her head back in annoyance. "Ugggh...! In the same way you're about to fix it?" She asked, pulling out a wrench from her jacket.
N's face lit up with a wide grin, despite the gravity of the situation. "Hahaha! I love doing anything" He exclaimed, eager to make amends for his mistake.
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