章 65: Chapter 65: Understanding Suffering
"So...tell me exactly what happened," Izuku said to his son.
The two of them had moved back into Izuku's office, and after Izuku kicked out everyone else, it was just the two of them. Izuku and Yami sitting on opposite sides of his desk.
Yami had been...confused ever since what happened with Eri's mother. Like he didn't fully understand what he'd heard. Or couldn't process it. And he bore a bewildered expression even now.
"I...big spike. Big big spike!" Yami tried using his hands to show how big the spike was, lowering one as close to the ground as possible, and raising the other one as high as he could, struggling a bit. "Lots of sadness. Went to see...you were talking about Eri...I was confused...she...died...but she's still alive? Eri's mother...gave her away...but still was sad? A bad man hurt her, very bad. But why?"
Ah. Yami's still getting used to the world. It's no wonder things like this would confuse him. Izuku sighed. Looks like the hardest part of today was not behind him. "Yami...alright. So let's break this down one bit at a time. Starting, with Eri's mother."
Yami nodded. "Why...did she give Eri away? Why did she come back?"
"Well...as you know. Eri's quirk is very dangerous, especially if the people around her don't know what it does. And back when Eri' first developed it, obviously no one knew what it did." Izuku explained. "And so when Eri's father touched her, back when her quirk first appeared...he died."
Yami nodded. He recalled hearing about this. Of course, it was stressed to him that this was an accident and that Eri was in fact very upset about that.
"And as you can imagine, Eri's mother was not pleased about the love of her life...dying. And in her rage and grief, she took it out on Eri. She blamed Eri for his death, told her that she was cursed, left her with her grandfather, and then abandoned her." Izuku said, pausing to give Yami time to take that in.
The Grimm boy paused to think about it. Trying to put himself in the woman's shoes.
How would he react if Eri or anyone of his siblings accidentally killed Izuku?
The moment that thought entered Yami's head, he scowled. Feeling an intense pain in his chest at the thought of losing Izuku.
Izuku had given him everything. He was the parent he never knew he needed in his life and opened up a whole new world to him. He was kind and patient and cared so much about him, and his siblings...and honestly Yami doesn't know what he would do if that happened.
But would he treat the sibling that did it, the same way Eri's mother did to her? Even if it was an accident?
He recalled back to when Izuku collapsed. All the negativity every single person in the house felt. The intense fear and despair instilled into the hearts of every single child in the house.
Honestly, Yami doesn't think he could feel anything but sorrow for whoever was unfortunate enough to do that.
So why did Eri's mother do what she did?
"Why?" Yami asked, still confused. "It was an accident. She was sad. So why did Eri's mom do that?"
"Yami, you have the ability to see what other people are feeling, not everyone can do that," Izuku told him. "Some people can't see past their own pain and suffering. Pain anger, if not processed correctly, can blind a person, and make them do horrible, terrible things. And that's what Eri's mother did. And the minute her anger started to fade, and she realized what she did, and how bad it was. But it was too late to take it back, because her father, and then later Overhaul, wouldn't let her. So for years, all she could do was suffer, not knowing what happened to her daughter, and regretting her decision. Until one day, she heard about the downfall of the Yakuza, and then eventually learned about this place. She put two and two together and figured that Eri probably ended up here, and realized that she could actually see what happened to her."
"So she...felt bad...because she did bad things in anger...but when she stopped be angry...she felt sad," Yami said, trying to understand what his father was telling him.
"That's right." Izuku nodded. "Never decide things out of anger. Most of the time it leads to doing things you'll regret. Sometimes it can ruin your life. That's why therapists exist."
"Thera...pist?" Yami repeated.
"Ah...Therapists are people that...they're like doctors." Izuku explained. "But instead of healing people's bodies, they heal peoples minds."
"Heal...minds?" Yami repeated, slightly confused.
"Well, do you see the pain that Fuku, and Otoko, and most of the other kids feel?" Izuku asked Yami, who nodded in response. "Well, that's not physical pain. That's mental pain. It's why they're so sad and in some cases angry. Therapists can help them not be so sad or angry anymore. They're about as important as actual doctors, and can do as much good."
Yami remained silent, contemplating what Izuku had told him. A therapist could help people who were suffering like his siblings...like his father maybe. Like all those people in the city that he absorbed negativity from.
But then again, there was something about that statement bothering him.
"Why, isn't their therapist here?" Yami asked. "Why aren't therapists fixing more people? Why so much suffering outside?"
Izuku paused, as he tried to find a way to answer this properly. "Ok. So the thing is. Unlike doctors, people aren't as willing to see therapists. For many reasons. Some people just don't recognize that they need to see one. Some people can't afford therapists, or can't see them because their parents or guardians won't let them. And some people...some people think that it makes them...weak...there is this...thought among people... that strong person shouldn't have to get help...and since no one wants to be weak or admit weakness, a lot of people just...don't get the help they need. Even if they know that they need it. If people went to therapy more, there would be a lot less suffering in the world."
The green teen was not proud to say he was venting a bit towards his son. Venting about himself, because his self-loathing was acting up again.
After taking a moment to calm himself, Izuku continued. "The reason why your siblings haven't gotten any therapy is because I have not been doing my job well, and I've had issues trusting people with you guys. But I am looking into it now."
Yami once again sat there and took all of this in.
He once thought there was a lot of suffering in the house. Kids like Fuku, and Kioku, carried a lot of pain with them. Eri and Kota as well to a lesser extent as well. Even the typically happy ones like Kiba, Shiruku and Kai carried some negativity with them.
But that was nothing compared to what he saw in the city.
He'd only ever been there one time, and he'd seen that the suffering in this place, the negativity here, was nothing compared to the sheer amount of negativity in the city.
And it wasn't just because, of the difference in the number of people, the amount of negativity coming off some individuals, were more than all of the kids in the house combined.
He'd seen Kiba's despair first hand, and he hated it. He hated watching her feel that way. And there were people out there who were feeling so much worse.
And that just...didn't feel right.
"Now about what you heard about Overhaul." Izuku continued, snapping Yami out of his thoughts. "I hope you're not too...affected by the description of what happened. It's rather horrifying."
Ah yes, Eri's torture.
Honestly, Yami just had a hard time...comprehending that.
From what he understood, something very, very bad happened to Eri. That hurt a whole lot. And was treated very badly. That explained why she acted the way she did.
However, Yami couldn't wrap his head around one thing.
"Why?" He asked once again. "Why did he hurt her? He just wanted blood? You take blood from Eri...but, you don't hurt her like that. So why did he do that?"
Izuku paused, before answering. "Yami...there are some people who are just...they are bad people. For different reasons, some people are hurt so they want to or feel like they need to hurt others. Or just because they weren't taught to value other people. I don't know why Overhaul did what he did, or why he became a bad person. But it doesn't justify the horrible things he did to Eri."
There was another moment of silence, as Izuku waited for Yami to process this.
"So...is Eri's mother...also a bad person?" Yami asked eventually. "You were...being mean...but also nice to her...even though she hurt Eri. I don't understand."
Once again Izuku responded to this with a sigh and a pause. Although this conversation was nowhere near as difficult or precarious as his conversation with Eri's mother, but it still took a tax on him, and he need to think carefully about the best ways to explain everything, otherwise this could have a negative influence on his son.
"What makes a bad person is...subjective...meaning that it's up to each individual person to come up with their own opinions. For example, if you like ice cream, and you say that ice cream is the best. YOU may think that, but someone else may have a different opinion. And there is no right answer. So that makes it subjective." Izuku explained. "Deciding on whether or not you think someone is bad, comes down to a few factors, and it can be very complicated. But for the sake of simplicity, let's look at how Eri's mother was, what she did, why she did it, how she feels about now, and what she's doing about it now. I'm going to explain this from MY perspective, but other people may feel differently about each factor."
Yami paid close attention, hanging off each of Izuku's words as he explained this complicated situation in the simplest way he could.
"Eri's mom was once a loving mother. She loved her daughter, and she loved her husband, very, very dearly. Then one day, Eri's quirk came, and she accidentally killed her father. Now I understand that she was...upset, to say the least. She lost someone she cared about more than the world itself. But what she did, telling Eri those horrible things, blaming Eri for her father's death, and giving her to a Yakuza boss, even if he was her grandfather, was NOT the correct response. It was a terrible thing to do. She SHOULD have gone to a therapist to help her cope. She SHOULD have known that saying things and making decisions while you're angry and grieving, especially when those decisions hurt your child. But at the same time. She was grieving." Izuku explained. "Everything she did before and after her burst of rage, suggest that what she did was not something she would normally do and that she regrets it deeply. But that doesn't change that what she did was terrible, and something no parent should even consider. So at that point, the question becomes, should you judge a person one what they do, when they're at they are at their worst?"
"At...they're worst?" Yami repeated.
"Right. When a person is at their worst, is when they become overcome by despair, and typically that's when people make they're worst decisions." Izuku continued. "Do you remember when Kiba locked herself in her room and made herself suffer? That was her at her worst. She was so upset about what happened to me, that she made a terrible decision that hurt her and the people around her, that she would never make normally. So, is it a right to judge someone at their worst? Normally I don't think so, but what she did was just, so terrible...I can't really call her a good person. But I can't call her a bad person either."
"So she's just...a person?" Yami asked.
"Yes! Yes, that's exactly what she is!" Izuku was elated at the fact that his son seemed to be understanding this. "She's a person. Not good not bad inherently, but capable of both. Again, this is just my opinion. I'm sure some people would still say she's a bad person, despite her reasons. And I don't blame them...but...I honestly couldn't stand to see her suffer to that extent. I don't think anyone deserves to feel like that, even if they did something terrible."
Yami recalled the sheer intensity of her sadness. Almost unlike anything he'd seen before. It was far worse than Fuku when she came here or Kiba during her depression. He struggled to think of a reason why someone would deserve that.
"Some people would say she deserved it because she did it to herself but...why? What good does her pain bring anyone?" Izuku asked. "Will her suffering fix what happened to Eri? Or make Eri feel better? No. That's why I treated her the way I did. Because even though I don't like her, I can't bring myself to let someone wallow in their own pain."
"...If she and Overhaul had therapist...would they be better?" Yami asked.
"...Eri's mother I'm sure...I don't know about Overhaul but...probably?" Izuku said. "Therapy can help with a log, but they also have to be cooperative. If a therapist is giving you advice, and you don't listen or take in any of what they say, then it's not going to help much. The therapist also has to be good at their job. If not, they may end up doing more harm than good. But, if you have that, and with enough time, I believe, therapy could help pretty much anyone...and I failed to get any of you a therapist yet."
There was a few seconds of silence, before Yami left from his chair, went around Izuku's desk, and lunged at him before wrapping his arms around his waist, bringing him into a hug.
"Huh! Where did this come from!?" Izuku was quick to hug his son back, although he was confused by the sudden embrace.
"You looked like you needed it," Yami explained. "Does it help?"
Izuku smiled, genuinely feeling touched. "Yes, yes it does."
After that, the two just sat there and enjoyed the embrace for a few minutes.
"Alright. Thank you, Yami, but I think we're done here." Izuku told him. "Unless you have any more questions?"
Yami paused. He could probably ask more questions, but it was clear his father needed a break. "No. I'm fine."
"Alright. Well, then you should go back to your room. Dinner should be ready soon." Izuku said after looking at his clock. "Remember, don't tell anyone about what happened here. Especially Eri. She's not ready to hear about this yet. One day she will, but not yet...oh, and tell Yonda to come here. I need to explain this to her. Given her quirk, trying to keep secrets around her is a moot point."
Yami nodded and started leaving to go to his room. He had...a lot to think about.
XXXXXXXXX
Sleeping proved to be...difficult for Yami.
He was stuck thinking about that conversation, and about what he had seen in the city that day.
Yami had not seen the entire city. Only a small portion of it. There was probably still so much suffering he hadn't seen.
And that suffering, lead to other people suffering.
But...why did he care? He didn't know these people. They didn't do anything for him, in fact, he was told he was considered a monster by most of the people outside. So why was this bothering him?
Could it be because of his need to give back?
Generally, Yami found that when someone gave you something, you should try to return the favor.
This is why Yami would give Izuku everything. Because Izuku gave Yami everything. And kept giving him everything.
And his siblings gave him a lot. They gave him kindness, and companionship, two things that he never knew how he lived without up until this point.
But they weren't the only one who gave him things. Everyone did. Literally everyone.
The people of the city gave him their suffering. Fuel for his Grimm. Sure they didn't give it to him on purpose. But it was still a gift.
Or maybe the reason it bothered him was because their suffering could lead to his siblings' suffering?
Maybe if all his siblings' parents had therapists, then they wouldn't have treated them badly. Or maybe if more people in the world had therapists, maybe they wouldn't be so scared of him and his siblings.
Perhaps if he did something to help them feel less afraid, his siblings wouldn't suffer as much.
Or, was the reason it bothered him that much was simply because...well he just didn't like people suffering. Maybe his father was rubbing off on him and...Yami didn't mind that though. He loved his father, so the idea of being more like him didn't bother him in the slightest.
It could just be all of those things.
But...he needed to see more. To understand more about the world outside this house and the forest.
He needed to head out into the city once more.
週次パワーステータス
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット