章 16: The sweetest smile can be the deadliest
Minutes later, MJ and Allen joined them with the drinks.
They spent the rest of the day fooling around in the mall, closing the day with a movie none of them liked.
When the time to leave came, MJ made his move again, trading Kyle for Isabelle as he offered to take him and Cassidy home. The three of them made a silent agreement, waving Allen and Isabelle goodbye before leaving them alone. Allen and Isabelle fell silent for a moment, feeling somewhat embarrassed that their friends were incredibly obvious about their intentions.
Isabelle's gaze was on a distant store, hoping the knot in her belly would go, so she could act normally again. A warm touch on the back of her hand made her heart flutter, glancing from the corner of her eye how Allen's fingers made their way to hold her hand. He was not looking at her, trying to keep his cool by distracting himself with some random TV screen the other way. He locked his fingers with hers, feeling his heart pounding again.
He had some mixed feelings about those feelings, though. On one hand, he hated feeling vulnerable and sensitive about things; he had to toughen up since he was a kid just to deal with his parents, so those shows of emotion made him uncomfortable. On the other hand, he liked how it felt; he liked how she made him feel. He even ventured about how it would be nice to have that forever, but discarded the idea as it was something impossible. It was a constant fight inside of him that, miraculously, the second one was winning. And it was thanks to Kyle. His words, and how simple he thought about the whole thing, made him start to believe maybe it was not that horrific.
Perhaps he was overthinking.
Perhaps giving things a try was not as over him as he believed.
Is it really OK, though? Is this OK even though I know I'm just not… His thoughts disappeared when his eyes met hers; when her shy smile crossed her lips. And he found himself smiling too.
For a moment, he let that dark side of him slip away.
They walked slowly towards his car, holding hands as if they had done it a million times before, talking freely about whatever crossed their minds. Even though they tried their best, the way home passed in a second, the goodbye too long as they stretched it with one small talk after the other.
The time came when she finally gathered some strength to grab the handle, but came to a stop almost at the same time. She breathed out slowly, not wanting to turn around as her strength was wavering.
Strength to say it out loud.
"I—" She started, but stopped as she felt she missed air. She breathed in again. "I want to stay with you a little longer."
Allen's soft laugh made her turn around. Butterflies revolved inside her belly when he reached one hand to her cheek, caressing it tenderly. Her chest tightened when she heard his reply.
"I didn't want to let you go." His silky voice sent shivers down her spine. "Stay."
"Stay." His voice was soft, alluring. It was almost like it was made to her taste. "Just a little longer."
She swallowed, her mind clouding under the intensity of his light blue eyes. She nodded, feeling her cheeks grow hotter as he traced circles over her red skin. They stood there, looking at each other's eyes, oblivious of everything else around them. The moment absorbed them. He felt the urge to kiss her, but something inside of him stopped him from doing so.
Then, he remembered that conversation from earlier.
*
"So? What do you want to talk about?" Allen's voice rose right when they stopped walking. He heard MJ chuckle.
"You noticed." Allen did not answer back. "She's really cute, isn't she? So cute you'd almost love to break her." The voice, still friendly, covered a menacing tone under it. He was still smiling while on the line for the drinks, not looking directly at him.
His tone annoyed him, or rather, how he cared that much about his relationship with Isabelle. Allen snorted in his head.
"What are you implying?"
For the first time since they were on their own, MJ looked at him. His black, infinite eyes were unsettling, even mysterious. Allen shifted his weight to the other leg, not breaking eye contact. His icy stare showing his pride.
"I can't see your true intentions, and since I'm pretty good at reading people, that can only mean you don't have your intentions clear either." He was not bothering with the friendly facade anymore, showing his true colors for the first time.
Allen's face remained inexpressive. "You know nothing about me."
"Neither do you, apparently." The statement made him flinch. For some reason, Allen felt something sink in inside of him. Something clicked for a second, but he couldn't point it out immediately.
Allen's gaze turned hard, menacing. "Just spit it out."
A sweet voice interrupted their exchange, asking for their order. MJ's smile came back with ease, ordering with the same friendly tone as before. He turned around to ask Allen what he wanted, like if the tension between them was not there.
Allen felt the pressure for the first time. The pressure of someone that was not playing games.
They moved aside to wait for their order when MJ's dark voice rose again.
"She's not someone you can play around with without consequences." Allen turned around, meeting those pitch-black orbs up front.
That made him feel hurt. Did she think the same about him? Was he not being delicate enough? The thoughts hit him like a truck, making his stomach turn. Then, he remembered how he kissed her in his car. If it wasn't for that car, I might've—. He cut the thought, embarrassed of himself.
As realization cleared his mind, the urge to clear things up started to show.
"It's not like that." He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. MJ didn't answer back, waiting for him to elaborate. "I don't know what she's told you, but it's not like that."
"It's not about what she told me, it's about you: a guy, a handful of hormones, a dick with legs. I'm a guy too, you know?" His voice was low now. He leaned on his side over the counter, resting his weight on his elbow. "I'm talking about statistics of guys like you."
Allen's blood started to boil inside of him, the will of opening up to the guy in front of him closing up as fast as it appeared the first time. "Again, you know nothing about me." His voice came out in a low growl. He gave one step closer, narrowing his eyes at him. "I don't have to explain my intentions to anyone other than her."
"True that," he agreed. "But be clear that I won't look past it. Not for her, but for me."
His impassive face showed, finally, a tint of annoyance. "Why are you so fixed on the idea of me being a jerk?"
"Because I care," he started. "I have to look after her, and this is how I do it."
Allen crossed his arms over his chest. "By assuming things without knowing people and threatening them?"
MJ shrugged. "The only time I didn't do it was because she asked me to trust, the asshole WAS an asshole." His eyes got lost for a second, anger flourishing in his features. "It's not going to happen again."
"I get it," Allen nodded, knitting his eyebrows in annoyance. "What I don't get is why it's so important to you."
Allen said the words, even when he very much knew they were a lie. He did know why it was so important, because he felt protective of her as well. He just wanted to hear it from him.
"I know you noticed already," he said in a mocking tone. "I love her." His blunt confession did not have the effect he expected. He knew the answer, yet the ease in which he had just admitted his feelings to a stranger caught him off guard.
He stood there, completely silent, feeling his stomach grow sick again. He hated that feeling. The same feeling his father's steps walking down the halls of their home made him feel.
Fear.
He was terrified as he remembered how happy she looked around the guy in front of him.
And the guy loved her. He was so sure he had said it out loud, he embraced and accepted that fact that much that the confession came out almost too casually.
Love? The words echoed in his mind, making his heart beat hard inside his chest. Could I ever—? His heart was begging for him to stop that thought right there. He was barely managing to control his breathing, a cold sweat breaking down his back.
After finally saying his true feelings out loud to someone for the first time, MJ saw as clear as water how Allen felt about it. And it shocked him. The indifferent, cool guy was petrified. It only lasted a few seconds, though. Seconds in which he never broke eye contact, gaining his nonchalant composure again.
Allen pursed his lips, thinking carefully his words to not lose control again.
You're tough, I'll give you that, MJ thought as his head leaned to one side, waiting for his reply. He was expecting something frivolous, even a threat, but nothing of the sort reached his ears.
"Loving someone like her is already more than I could ask for," his soft voice chilled MJ to the bone. "I know I'm not good enough… I sure as hell know I don't even deserve that," his voice trembled a little as he restrained his feelings as much as he could. "So I don't need you to tell me something I already know." He almost spitted those words, grabbing a couple of drinks that were already on the counter, finally breaking eye contact for a second. Then he turned around again, locking eyes with him one more time. "But I'll say it again: it's not like that."
With that, he started walking back to the group. He needed fresh air to cool down to normal before meeting her.
MJ stood there for a second, but hurriedly grabbed the last drink and caught up with him. A moment of silence passed when he decided to talk again.
"She doesn't know. Please don't tell her."
Allen scoffed, this time out loud.
"Seriously?" He rolled his eyes, leaving them looking ahead. "That's none of my fucking business." He hissed.
MJ laughed, "Wow, wow, what happened to Mr. Formality?"
Allen's face contorted. "Gone. I don't fucking like you…" He looked at the ground, lowering his voice as if he did not want to admit the next part. "And you're her best friend, so I have to suck it up."
"Well said, Al," Allen turned his face slowly towards him, an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. His obvious disgust made MJ laugh hard. "I knew you wouldn't mind."
"Let's say I don't."
MJ grew serious again. "She's looking forward to your date." So it is a date to her, Allen thought, then looked at him with a raised brow. "I know my place, dick head, so don't look at me like that. Just—" he sighed. "Just don't screw up."
"I'd let you kill me."
"I take your word for it."
And no further words were spoken after that.
*
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XanaTrygg
XanaTrygg I hope you're enjoying this story! If so, please let me know in the comments or throught your review! If not, critics are always welcome, too. Thank you for your support!
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