章 87: Chapter 84
Austin's dad seemed completely confused. He was trying to figure out how to react, but I could tell that he couldn't come up with anything so he just stared blindly at Austin. And Austin being his crazy self just went on with his meal as if nothing had happened. I couldn't believe that they hadn't known about him being gay. He was so chilled and confident about it I had assumed they would automatically be aware.
" I didn't see the need to declare it to you. What's so special about who I like?" I swallowed hard and held onto my fork s tightly the steel almost cut through my skin.
I felt as if the two of us were the centre of attention and that was a situation I would never be okay with. Even if it was just the four of us around I still felt awkward. I wondered when the dinner would be over so I could make my escape, deciding that if I was still seated there in the next ten minutes, I was going to come up with an excuse that would enable me to leave. I didn't think I was supposed to be a part of that conversation. It was strictly meant to be between Austin and his father...I'd just be a bystander who didn't know where to go.
" Just because I don't like the same kind of gender as the majority of the population doesn't make it something great and completely unique....what kind of twisted world is this?" Austin added in a low voice. But the tone was specifically measured so that we could all hear what he said. And while he said all that, he was enjoying his meal. I reached for my glass of juice and drank down more than half of it. I was feeling extremely perched all of a sudden but I knew it was due to the nervousness.
" I personally with you both the very best!" Khloe cheerfully said. I hadn't been sure of the type of person she would he when I first saw her and learnt who she was, but I found myself liking her naturally. She in a lot of ways resembled his late mom. When it came to her gentleness and kindness. The type of person that always made sure to wear a smile despite the occasion. My personal analysis her was that despite her being a lot younger than Austin's dad, she was mature enough to take on the responsibilities that came along with it. I thanked her because Austin was definitely not planning on doing so.
" Since when have you two been an item?" His dad asked. Curiosity dripping from the question.. almost as if there was nothing else he wanted to find out as much as that.
" Long enough, "
" Mind being more specific?"
" Two weeks. Satisfied?"
I frowned and threw Austin a look of total disapproval. From my personal view, his dad had simply asked him a question. All he needed to do was answer it so I didn't get why he was being so bitter about it. And the craziest part was that his dad didn't even say anything, he just ate his food quietly and started up a conversation about how he had gotten a work contract to design the houses in this upcoming wealthy neighborhood. For the following minutes, it was just him and Khloe talking.
" I'll be staying over at Kyle's then. "
We all turned to Austin, I was the most surprised of us all because we had definitely neither talked nor agreed to that. He stood, and because he had been the one to take me there, I placed my cutlery down and did the same.
" Have you finished your assignment?"
" I've tried my best, that should be good enough. "
" You have school tomorrow, his mom is sick...it's better if you just stay here instead. "
" I don't want to. "
I shot him another look but he ignored it. I knew he liked doing things his way but there were boundaries he was not supposed to cross and he was crossing them all without a care in the world. I couldn't recognize that version of him. I had assumed that even though he had changed in terms of character and how he treated most people, he would definitely still look up to his dad. Their relationship had always been great and I had admired it a ton. There was so much genuine love there I had always felt satisfied just watching them relate. At the very beginning there had obviously been some jealousy But it had all disappeared because his parents had treated me like their own.
" Want me to drive you home?"
His dad was looking straight at me, and I git the impression that he was doing it because he didn't want to continue arguing with Austin. I could have said no, but there was no way for me to walk from there to my house alone that late at night. I't would take too long and I would also be extremely exhausted by the time I arrived. Plus I would just feel insecure along the entire way. Those were all reasons for me to say yes..plus a lot others. The only reason for me to refuse was only one though. And it was able to beat out all the rest.
Austin would not be pleased. Things were tensed enough as they were, I had no intentions of making matters even worse. I kept quiet and turned to Austin.
" I'll take him. "
" On that bike of yours? This late?...I disapprove. "
" That's how we got here. "
" But it's not how you'll be leaving. It's only a matter of time before that thing makes you catch a fucking cold!"
Austin was about to say something else but I held his arm and slightly shook my head. I was starting to think he actually enjoyed those arguments. His father had already stood up, he gave Khloe a kiss on the cheek and assured her he'd be right back. I waved goodbye and thanked her for her hospitality, praising the food and all, then I pulled Austin along with me and followed his dad. That night had been long enough, I just wanted to be back home and in my bed.
It was impossible for me to get to sleep early during weekdays so I wanted to maximize that opportunity as much as I could.
" You have to apologize, " I advised Austin while we waited for his father to being the car around. He looked at me like I was out of my mind at first, but then in the seconds that followed that expression slowly changed and became more natural.
He clearly knew that he had done something wrong, and I believed more than ever that he had done it all in purpose. I just couldn't understand him and whatever it was that run through his head. His father was only trying to help but he was acting like a spoilt rich brat.
A description I had never thought I'd use on him but at the moment it seemed to fit the most.
" Did you hear me? You should say you're sorry. "
" Can't. "
" Why not?"
He shrugged dismissively. It was too cold for my liking. I could feel the chill through all the clothes I had on. I shivered once and he immediately shifted to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder and rubbing his hand up and down my chest.
" Your pride will kill you one of these days. "
" I fear the same thing. "
" That was entirely unnecessary. "
" I couldn't help it..."
" Of course you can, you just chose not to. "
The car got to where we were standing as we got in. I was grateful when I realized the heater had been turned on and the space was quite warm. The second he drove out of the gate, Austin laid on his back in the seat and placed his head in my lap, reaching for my hand afterwards and holding it in both of his before letting the joined hands rest on his chest. I looked down at him. Even though I wasn't entirely pleased with him at the moment, I was unable to look past his beauty. It was the hard edged kind. All sharp angles and intimidating contours. And his demeanor just happened to be in sync with his look.
A one second glance at his dad made me aware of the fact that he was observing us through the rearview mirror. And that just heightened the discomfort from my end. But it was like a battle between my discomfort towards the situation and my undying desire for closeness. In the end, the former had nothing on the latter. Even if it meant being under the questioning eyes of strangers or his father, I was always going to pick the option that enabled me to be with Austin.
" So, other than her current illness, is your mom doing okay?"
No she was not. My mom was the furthest things from okay that there was. She was basically like a ticking time bomb and we were all just waiting for her to pop up. And by we I meant me because I was technically all she had. If you didn't count all those scumbags trying to use her, and all the acquaintances and people she often talked with, you'd realize that she was completely alone. And it didn't matter what happened between us, she was always going to be my mom and there was no way I was going to leave her to fend for herself entirely. That would have just been cruel and I would have never been able to sleep in peace afterwards. But I lied and told Austin's dad that my mom was good, that she was working hard for our sake. He seemed a bit shocked and I I felt Austin's knowing eyes on me. Both of them had known how my mom had been when I had been younger. There had been absolutely no way for them to not know, but they had never made me feel awful about it.
I smoothed my hand over Austin's, repeating the action over and over because he seemed to like it. He closed his eyes and made this little sound of approval from the back of his his throat when I flicked m thumb over his cheek repetitively. If he made a mistake and decided to sleep for even a second, I doubt he would have been able to wake up.
" Where to?" His dad asked once he got to the main road. I gave him the instructions and after he understood, I leaned back against the seat and began playing with Austin's hair. The action was meant to just be just be casual and unthought of,but a few minutes in I realized how calming it was to feel out the soft strands between your fingers. He tried to pull me down for a kiss with a hand around my nape but I shook my head and gestured to his dad. I could only imagine how he was feeling.
Austin and I had been super close when we were young.On one particular day he had commented that we were more like brothers in his eyes. So it must have been weird to learn that we were an actual couple. He was probably still trying to wrap his head around that piece of info.
" I wanna stay with you tonight, " Austin suddenly said. I looked down at him. It was quite dark, but there was just enough light to make out his features perfectly. It was an enticing offer. Especially with the weather being as it was all I wanted to do was cuddle in bed with him for as long as possible. But his dad had refused and I didn't want to start up another argument. Especially one that could just have easily been avoided if he simply chose to follow his parent's instructions.
" Next time, I promise," I told him, offering him a small smile because I didn't want him to make it a big deal. It was fine since we had countless other nights for him to stay over.
" But I wanna stay over today. "
" Don't be stubborn. "
" I'm not..I just wanna stay with you. "
" You already have, and we'll meet early tomorrow morning. "
" It's not anywhere near enough. "
I maintained my silence and simply stroked his cheek. Keeping my eyes fixed on the space infront of me because if I looked at him too much I was going to eventually give in. He made me powerless like that. We were getting closer and closer to my place. I instructed his dad on which route to take when he asked me, and before I knew it we were parked right in front of my building. I thanked him sincerely, tapping Austin so that he could sit upright, and when he did, I wished him a goodnight and told him we'd meet in the morning. He didn't reply but I still got off the car. But as soon as I did, he did the same.
" I don't snore, I swear, " he said as he walked round the car to where I was. I looked at the driver's seat, waiting for his dad to get out as well and try and force him back into the car.
He hadn't even carried anything along with him, and we had school the following day. I was about to try and make him get back in the car when his dad suddenly drove off and left is there.
Austin trailed after the vehicle until it was gone from view before he inclined his head towards my building and said we ought to get inside since it was pretty cold. He even led the way and I followed him. When we got to the house, I asked him to go ahead and wait for me in my room, then I went to check whether my mom was around.
She wasn't, which was half a relief...the other half was worry because whenever she was out of my sight I always wondered what she could be doing and who she could be with.
When I went toy room, I found him laying face down on my bed.
It was true that I wanted to both hold and be held by him, but first I was going to have a little chat with him about how he had treated his father because the matter refused to leave my mind. But I knew how he was and how we would react if I didn't approach the matter well. He was either going to get a bit pissed off or just shrug the matter off as if it was nothing. If I really wanted to have an impact I had to be cautious. To make him listen. So I went over to the bed and laid down next to him, facing the ceiling, then I reached out and held his hand.
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