章 2: The Bastard of Winterfell
Jon
14 years, 14 years Jon had lived in Winterfell with the Starks and the majority of that time he'd felt misplaced and experienced a lack of belonging. He didn't hate the Starks, far from it in fact, he loved his brothers and sisters but he always found himself on the side lines, in the shadows, a plus one if you will when it came to actually belonging in the Stark household. There was a lot of reasons for that but in the end it all boiled down to that one word...
Bastard.
It was bullshit, how in the world could anybody with an ounce of logic in their head blame somebody for the situation of their birth? But they did and that was just the sad reality of the world they lived in. The parents, a majority of the time would get away with a slap on the wrist and an earful from the missus and the bastard in question would be ridiculed and pushed under the feet of the "better" more powerful people in today's society.
And they wonder why bastards snapped and caused wars.
Not this bastard though, no, he would never usurper his siblings for their positions, even if a certain stuck up trout of a woman thought otherwise....cow.
No, let me take that back, that's being a bit harsh, cows are at least somewhat useful with their milk and their meat and their leather, a lot more useful compared to that thundercunt. Sure, she loved all her children unconditionally and she kept the keep running like any normal lady would but the moment Jon would cross eyes with the woman he would get a reaction out of her like he'd shat in her morning porridge, and if he was being honest, he was at his wits end with the whole situation.
He was currently returning from the rookery where Maester Luwin had tasked him to deliver some scrolls to Lord Stark when all of a sudden Lady Thundercunt came...well...thundering towards him with a scowl that could curdle milk.
"And where do you think you're going, bastard?"
"Just delivering these scrolls to my Father". Jon always referred to Lord Stark as father whenever he was talking to her, he knew it pissed her off and he couldn't for life of him care.
"THATS Lord Stark to you bastard".
"Lord Stark...father, same thing really"
"You will refer to him as Lord Stark, am I clear bastard?" Catelyn seethed.
"Well he fucked another woman and I was the by-product of their coupling so by logic he is my father but I suppose that's too hard to grasp for lesser more dim-witted creatures wouldn't you agree Lady Cuntlyn?". His blood was up and he was swinging wild, he was getting his last hits in before he left this place, he knew he'd get an explosive reaction out of her and he braced for impact.
*SLAP*
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT, BASTARD!".
Jon braced for the slap and was able collect himself "I apologise Lady Catelyn, it was a mere slip of the tongue. Not unlike us bastards to bring shame upon ourselves by merely opening our mouths is it?"
Lady Catelyn yanked the scrolls from Jon and brushed past him towards Lord Starks solar "Your father will hear about your disrespect towards me, mark my words".
Jon picked up on her slip up and couldn't resist getting the last word in as he headed out towards the godswood. "See, you're learning, you do know he's my father". And with that Jon shut the door behind him, not waiting for the reaction Lady Catelyn was no doubt going to send his way, he didn't care. Gods it felt so freeing to not give two shits sometimes. He knew Lord Stark would be having a word with him before the day was out but he was another person he was starting to get tired of, mainly the secrets and lies whenever the subject of his mother came up. He would ask him the next time they talked who she is and whether she was dead or not, it would probably be the last time he gets the chance if he was being honest with himself and if he still refused to talk about her then well, he supposed it was never meant to be. He knew for certain though, he would never forgive the man.
Ned
Ned was quietly reflecting on the week's events when suddenly Cat came thundering in with a face like a tomato. 'Now what's he done' Ned thought as he braced himself for another earful of hate towards Jon who as of late showed little interest in anybody's thoughts. He wasn't sure what had started all of this misbehaviour from Jon, yes, he knew he'd inherited the wolfs-blood from his mother but so had Arya and Rickon and they were nowhere near as rebellious as Jon had been as of late. Coupled with Jon's sharp tongue, another inheritance from his mother and his adamant nature, Jon had been a pain in the arse, especially in the yard where he would smack people silly with his obviously gifted martial talents without an ounce of remorse, he'd broken Theon's nose and two of his fingers the last time they faced off and the lad now refuses to spar with Jon anymore. Robb was worried, Sansa thought he was an uncouth brute, Bran was confused with the change of behaviour and Arya and Rickon just found it all bloody hilarious.
Was it him coming of age? Ned noticed Jon had started to sprout up, taller than Robb now and the same height as himself, having to remind him to keep his facial hair tidy as that was starting to appear on his face that was now devoid of baby fat. People always said that bastards were forced to grow up faster than a trueborn but he didn't think it meant physically. People were also starting to whisper that he was Brandon's son and not his, based on the fact that every aspect of Jon was starting to outgrow Ned. Muscles, hair, height, you name it, Jon was outgrowing him in it. The girls around Winterfell and Winter Town were starting to take notice of him as well, watching him spar and exercise but every time Ned caught sight of the girls giggling at Jon he would notice that Jon was completely oblivious to it.
He hoped it stayed like that, he didn't need more headaches.
Speaking of headaches, his wife was currently wailing at him about his "hellborn bastard". He had to admit, she was getting creative when describing Jon as of late.
"That insufferable boy has to go Ned, he's just disrespected your wife and the Lady of Winterfell. He has lost all manners and respect for his betters and he's getting worse with everyday that passes". Catelyn said as she slammed the scrolls she was holding onto his desk.
Ned sighed as he prepared to defend Jon the best that he realistically could "He's going through the change Cat, we were all moody at that age, he'll grow out of it". He knew it was a weak argument but he honestly had no other explanation for Jon's change in demeanour.
"No excuse Ned, Robb is going through that as well and he's remained a respectable young man unlike his bastard half brother who's been an uncouth brat. Send him to Castle Black with his uncle, I bet Benjen would love to have him there with him and Jon can do his duty by channelling that wolfs-blood of his into repelling wildlings, everybody wins".
Ned sighed, "He's not going to the wall Cat, we've been over this several times, if you wouldn't send your son to the wall don't expect me to with Jon. He can make that choice himself when he's older but at the moment he's not going anywhere. I'll have a word with him and tell him to pack it in with these mood swings and to take his aggression out on a straw dummy instead of an actual person, it's the best I can come up with at the moment ".
Catelyn was clearly unhappy with his response and was holding her tongue but she replied with a curt "As you say my Lord, by your leave" and exited his solar. Ned had to get Jon to start cooperating with him more, he knew he was getting colder with him because of his constant rebuttals about his mother but Ned was not ready to tell him, he was scared of Jon's reaction if he was being honest so he kept putting off, telling himself that he would tell him soon and with his recent behaviour, anything could happen when he found out.
With that he rose from his desk and made his way out to the yard where Jon would no doubt be, he prepared himself for his talk with him, absolutely anything could come out of this he feared. Unfortunately when he arrived at the yard he couldn't spot Jon but he saw Robb, Bran and Theon instead so he approached them to find out where their brother was.
"Robb, Bran, Theon, none of you have seen Jon have you? "
"Hi father, sorry he's not here but we saw him heading towards the godswood, he didn't look pleased". Robb replied as Bran nodded his head in agreement.
"What's new? He's always been a miserable bastard". Theon replied with a smirk on his face, Robb and Bran didn't look impressed when Theon referred to their brother as a bastard. "What? He's a bastard, no changing the facts, not my fault he can't handle that". Theon defended.
"He's only acting out because people enjoy reminding him of his birth every chance they get, you included". Bran defended, Ned was proud of his children's protection of Jon. Always protecting members of their pack, unfortunately Jon seemed to be going the way of the lone wolf as of late and the famous stark saying didn't calm any of his fears.
"Enough, the godswood you say? " as Bran nodded. He thanked them and headed towards the godswood, dreading the conversation he was about to have, he knew Jon would turn the conversation towards his mother, he always did when he was getting a talking to, an effective defence mechanism Ned had to admit.
As Ned entered the grove he noticed Jon was nowhere to be seen, he wondered where on earth he could be. As he approached the heart tree he started to think about Jon and ultimately about Lyanna. Gods he missed her, she'd know what to do with Jon and Jon would listen to absolutely everything she said whether he liked it or not. She'd have told him to stop acting like an idiot, had a spar with him and took him out for a ride in the wolfswood, all with a mother's touch, something completely foreign to Jon in reality. He always asked himself if Queen Elia would have been a mother to him, if he was wrong to do what he did. It was a waste of time thinking like that now though, the ink was dry.
With his prayers finished, Ned got up from the heart tree and made his way back to the yard to see if Jon had returned through there and low and behold he had. Jon was currently sparring with three of Winterfell's guards, well, sparring was not the word for it, Jon was throwing more punches instead of swinging his sword. Ned spotted Robb, Bran and Theon again as they were watching the fight unfold, all three of them didn't look best pleased, Arya and Rickon on the other hand, who had clearly snuck out of lessons, were cheering Jon on with every punch he landed.
"What in god's name is happening here?" Ned asked Robb who had a worried look on his face.
"Jon was coming from the godswood just as you entered and accidently bumped into one of the guards" Robb explained. "The guard told him to watch where he was going and called him a 'daft bastard', him and the rest of the guards thought they were funny and just started laughing".
Bran butted in "Jon asked if the guard cared for a spar to work some of that attitude off, told them all three were welcome to come spar with him. Obviously, the guards wanted to bring Jon down a peg or two so they agreed, 5 minutes later the spar became this, Jon's already broken Todd's nose for his 'daft bastard' comment and now he's just throwing them around".
"You should be on Jon's side, he's just standing up for himself like any Stark of Winterfell would. I would have done the same if I was in his shoes" Arya defended as Rickon nodded his head in agreement.
"I am on Jon's side Arya, I'm just worried that he's gonna bite off more than he can chew one day and get seriously hurt". Bran replied with genuine concern for his brother, the sight warmed Ned's heart.
"Well it doesn't matter anyway, Jon's already won and left". Robb intervened.
Ned looked to the yard to see the three guards dusting themselves off and grumbling something incoherent as they walked off to lick their wounds. Jon was nowhere to be seen. "Now where's he gone?" Ned thought aloud, Theon came to his aid informing him that he saw Jon walking towards the stables. 'Oh no you don't you little sod, that was your mothers' trick that, taking her horse for a ride to avoid being reprimanded for something she'd done'. All Ned heard as he made for the stables was Arya calling Theon a grass and Bran asking Robb if Jon would be ok. Ned was getting worried now, Jon seemed to be lashing out at every chance he got and a pattern was emerging, it all revolved around that one word, bastard. And Ned felt like utter shit about the whole situation he'd put the lad in.
He got to the stables as Jon was saddling and packing a horse, a sudden sense of dread taking root. "Where are you off to?". Ned asked him as Jon realised he wasn't alone in the stables.
"Just going to take a ride through the wolfswood to clear my head that's all, why what's up?". Jon replied as he carried on with his task.
"We need to have a chat Jon, I need to work out what's been going on with you lately". Ned answered. "Catelyn came into my solar earlier telling me that you'd been disrespectful and vulgar towards her, then I catch you in the yard brawling with the guards, you've apparently broken one of their noses, the same thing you did with Theon last week. I would blame it on your entrance into adulthood but that's not a good enough excuse" Ned sighed, "What on earth is up with you as of late?".
"Not much, you?" Jon replied nonchalantly.
'Little shit' Ned thought as he huffed, Ned had lost the conversation before it'd even begun. "Are you gonna tell me what is wrong with you or are you gonna carry on with the snide attitude?". Ned was always known for keeping his cool but he was losing it with Jon at the moment, he needed answers and Jon was the only one with them.
"I'll tell you what, I'll answer your question if you answer mine, do we have a deal?". Jon replied casually with a slight upturn of his mouth, 'sneaky sod has me cornered' Ned thought.
"And what is your question?". Ned asked but he already knew what was coming.
"Who is my mother?" Jon said stone faced and unblinking, directly into Ned's eyes, Jon's eyes the exact shade of silver as his mother 'Promise me Ned'.
"I can't tell you right now, look you need to stop asking me, I'll tell you when the time is right". Ned rasped out as he stared at Jon. Little reaction was received from Jon, Just cold resignation and exasperation. He'd expected Ned's answer.
"Then we seem to have reached an impasse Lord Stark". Jon replied, he looked bored of the whole conversation as he continued saddling his horse. He'd played Ned so easily, he knew Ned wouldn't answer his question about his mother and used that to protect himself from answering Ned's question, Ned sighed, he'd been played by a 14 year old, a 14 year old who was clearly beyond his years already. Something stood out though.
"You can still call me father when it's just the two of us, you know that right?"
"I'm afraid you're misinformed Lord Stark, I have been informed recently to only refer to you as 'Lord Stark' from now on from non-other than the Lady of Winterfell herself. I wouldn't want to disrespect my Lady's wishes now, would I?".
"Jon....."
"If that is all my Lord, I would like to get back before the sun goes down so I need to leave now, with your leave of course". Jon interrupted with a cold diplomatic tone, Ned hated this.
"Fine, but be back for supper". Ned replied, resigned at the conclusion of their conversation. Jon had been spending a lot of time in the wolfswood lately, he would always return calmer and more responsive whenever he returned, Arya had asked if she could go with him but Cat had killed that idea off instantly. Ned couldn't for the life of him keep Jon caged up as of late so he allowed it, for Lyanna.
Jon nodded and galloped out through the gates towards the wolfswood, Ned had flashbacks of his sister doing the exact same thing with the exact same grace many many years ago. Ned was officially on Jon watch now, he'd lost Lyanna because he wasn't paying attention, he wouldn't lose her son the same way.
Jon
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with ME?". Jon seethed as he rode through the woods towards a small grove he enjoys resting at. 'It's always me isn't it, I'm always what's wrong, I'm the problem, never anybody else, probably all that bastard blood corrupting my common sense eh'. Jon took a few deep breaths and calmed himself down as he dismounted his horse and unpacked his food he'd brought with him, just some hard cheese and some dried beef. He hitched his horse to the tree and sat down and lent against it, placing his bow and quiver down next to him as he closed his eyes and let the sounds of nature calm his simmering blood.
Jon spent his time in his thoughts thinking about the plan he had conjured up to ultimately make a name for himself. He knew the chances of survival were pretty slim but anything in life that was worth something was never easy, if he pulled this off he wouldn't be known as the Bastard of Winterfell any longer but as something greater instead, Jon thrived for the adventure, the freedom and the recognition of his own feats. He wanted to create his own stories from his real-life experiences, he wanted to share those stories with his family and friends, he wanted to mean something for crying out loud, he was sick of just being somebody's stain. It was going to be a rough few months he knew but he had already decided what he was going to do.
He'd researched the closest place to Winterfell that could provide him with a solid ship, not too small, not too big, it was only him after all. The condition being that this place had to be on the western coast of the north, one on the eastern coast would do no good for his plans. He'd decided on the Stony Shore, he just had to get lucky with the boat, he may end up having to steal one if it came to it. He would make the journey with another person into the unknown but he came to the conclusion nobody was daft enough to go along with his mad plan.
He'd also done his research on navigating using the stars, his rope knots for his sails, the most efficient way to fish while out at sea, that was going to be a big one, if he couldn't fish properly then he might as well not bother with the whole idea, he'd be dead within a fortnight without those skills, he'd be taking plenty of supplies but they wouldn't last forever.
Jon was so lost in his thoughts he nearly missed the sound of rustling leaves and snapping sticks. His horse became spooked and the reason was slowly making its way into the grove right in front of Jon, a large and angry looking grizzly bear.
The first thing Jon did was cut his horse loose and sent it on its way in the hopes he could retrieve it after, if he survived that is. He grabbed his bow and his arrows and rolled out of the way just in time to avoid the charging bear and losing his arm there and then. The beast collided with the tree and shook it to its roots, gods this thing was big, must weigh at least eight, nine hundred pounds, it was huge. The beasts mistake gave Jon the chance to fire three arrows into its back legs, one in its left leg and two in its right, that'll hopefully slow it down and give him more time to pick his shots. The bear responded with a pained roar in Jon's direction, it made for Jon but it was evident the animal was laboured in its movement.
Jon made for another arrow, pulled his bowstring back and fired, he was aiming between the beasts eyes but missed and struck it right in the muzzle. The bear didn't react well to that as it cried out in pain and tried to claw the arrow out itself. This gave Jon the opening to finish the job but as he reached out for one last arrow he realised one thing, he had no arrows left. 'Where are the rest of them!?' Jon thought, 'who steals arrows?...*sigh*...Arya'. Jon knew she practised in the godswood with her bow, no doubt "borrowed" some arrows and forgot to put them back 'suppose it serves me right for not checking', hopefully this wasn't the reason Jon didn't survive, the guilt would smash his little sister to pieces if she found out. Jon sighed "Better make sure I survive then".
Dropping his bow and empty quiver, Jon flanked the distressed grizzly and slowly pulled his dirk from his hip. The bear was too busy tackling the lodged arrow in his muzzle to notice Jon approaching from the rear and with the small opening he needed, Jon mounted the bear from behind and drove his dirk into the side of the beast's head resulting in the instant death of the struggling animal and the collapse of both the bear and Jon onto the ground. "Thank the gods" Jon said as he removed the dirk from the bears head, he just laid there on top of the warm body of fur and caught his breath 'what a rush'. Making a quick decision, he began skinning the bear with his dirk 'I've always wanted a cloak made of bear fur, this will hopefully keep me warm whilst I'm out at sea'.
Jon managed to finish skinning the animal but not without making a huge mess, the ground and himself was covered in blood and would no doubt attract some more predators his way if he didn't get a move on. Jon moved to strap his bow over his shoulder, placed his dirk back on his belt, draped the bear fur over his other shoulder and started his brisk walk back towards Winterfell. Hopefully the bear carcass that was left would be a welcome distraction for him to get out unscathed.
Twenty minutes into his journey back he caught a glimpse of movement out the corner of his eye 'oh gods now what', he was out of arrows, this would be a close combat encounter and Jon wasn't confident he could take on another bear or a wolf or whatever it was without his arrows. He didn't have his sword either because that was still on his horse, he would have to use his dirk and his bare hands, 'could I batter a wolf with my bare hands?' Jon wondered, 'no, probably not you fucking idiot' Jon concluded, Jon really needed to get a better grip on his wolfs-blood or he would end up fighting something he really had no right fighting...and suffering the consequences.
The beast he would be fighting emerged from the bushes and trees and thankfully it wasn't an adversary, it was his horse, 'the gods are really looking down on me tonight'. Jon swiftly mounted his horse, checked to see he still had his belongings and rode off towards Winterfell. Within fifteen minutes of riding he'd exited the woods and was trotting through Winter Town, he was garnering some queer looks and some whispers but that was probably because of the bear fur and the layer of blood he was caked in and not the usual reason, it's not like he gave a fuck at what they said about him anymore, fuck 'em, he was more interested in getting to his chambers and sorting himself out, he was in dire need of a bath and it couldn't come sooner.
Ned
Ned was on his way to the main hall accompanied by Robb when Jory, Captain of the household guard, appeared at the end of the corridor with an odd look on his face, 'Now what's the matter? I cannot wait for my bed and for this day to end'.
"Lord Stark, Lord Robb" Jory nodded as he greeted them, "Lord Stark, you wished for me to inform you when Jon had returned".
'Finally', Ned thought, "Thanks for letting me know Jory, I assume he's in the main hall for supper then?"
"Err...not exactly Lord Stark, Jon's gone to his chambers to wash up, he was in a bit of a state when he returned" Jory replied.
Ned went numb, "In a state? What kind of state? He's okay, isn't he?". Ned had all sorts of scenarios playing through his mind, Lya wouldn't forgive him.
"He's okay Lord Stark, Jon assured me that none of the blood was his" Jory announced, Lord Stark didn't look pleased with the casualness of the statement so Jory explained, "He returned through the gates unrecognisable from a distance, he was covered from head to toe in blood but he assured me it wasn't his blood. Told me he got ambushed by a grizzly and confiscated its skin for spooking him" Jory chuckled, "I wouldn't have believed him if it weren't for the huge bear pelt he was carrying with him, told me he wasn't too clever at skinning large animals and made a huge mess of himself".
"He killed a grizzly on his own?", Robb looked shocked but impressed.
"Like I said, that pelt he's got proved his word, a fine trophy", Jory finished as all three men reached the main hall.
'I'm gonna kill him, is he trying to give me a heart attack?', He was impressed with such a feet but my god did he want to throttle him for getting into that kind of situation in the first place, 'Oh Lya, have you made him extra difficult just to punish me?'.
"Don't you start getting idea's Robb, it's difficult enough keeping an eye on him, I don't need you joining in with his escapades. I'll be having a word with him about getting into ridiculous situations as of late" Ned finished.
The three men entered the main hall together, Jory took his post by the door whilst Ned and Robb walked up to the high table and took their seats. Catelyn was sat in her spot with Sansa to her left with Bran sat next to her, Arya and Rickon were sat all the way to the right side of the table and it was clear by the look Arya was giving Sansa that something had happened.
"What's all this then?" Ned asked as he and Robb took their seats.
"Children being children Ned, nothing to worry about" Catelyn replied as she took a sip from her goblet.
Ned turned to Arya "What's the matter with you then little one?"
"Sansa said Jon should just leave and go live in the woods that he likes running off to, she said if he was gonna act like a wild animal he should go live with them" Arya answered, burning a hole in Sansa's head with her glare, "Maybe I'll join him if that happens."
"You will do no such thing young lady. Now eat your meal and stop trying to start an argument with your sister" Catelyn said.
"I wasn't being cruel, I was just saying that if he enjoys going to the woods all the time he would feel more suited there, especially with his recent behaviour" Sansa argued.
"He's not some stray dog you can just get rid of because you don't like him, he's a living person and he's our brother!" Arya passionately argued back.
"Arya, I won't tell you again, eat your supper and stop with this nonsense about your half-brother" Catelyn warned.
"He's got two arms, two legs and a head, he looks like a full brother to me" Arya returned as Rickon giggled at her response.
Ned took charge of the situation "Enough, it's been a long day and I just want to have a nice quiet supper with my family, is that too much to ask?"
"Sorry father" Arya and Sansa said in unison as Sansa looked down but Arya was still giving her a death stare.
"Alright then" Ned finished.
It was relatively quiet for a good few minutes as people ate their food and quietly chatted but that was broken when Robb decided to share Jon's story with Arya.
"HE DID WHAT!?" Arya exclaimed as Catelyn glared at her.
"Killed a grizzly bear apparently, still haven't seen the pelt myself yet but I trust Jory wouldn't lie about something like that" Robb explained as the rest of the table took notice of the conversation.
Arya's eyes lit up, "Wow, I can't wait to see it. I bet the story is even better". Arya looked excited at the prospect of the seeing the pelt and hearing a new story and Rickon looked like a ball of energy ready to explode at any minute.
"What happened? Jon saw a grizzly bear?" Bran asked, obviously missing parts and unable to hear properly being sat at the other end of the table.
"Yeah, and he killed it and skinned it for its pelt" Arya replied, looking proud of her brother.
"Really? That's amazing". Bran looked equally amazed at Jon's antics.
Catelyn told them both to quieten down and finish their supper, Arya didn't look best pleased with her mother shutting down her conversations whenever Jon was the topic of discussion but complied.
As the family was just coming to the end of their meal the main door slowly opened and Jon snuck in and claimed one of the seats near the entrance, he looked freshly bathed with his curly dark hair still showing its dampness. Ned was the only person to notice him enter so he took the chance to observe him from a distance in the hopes of seeing any subtle signs that would explain his recent attitude. He had a rough idea what it was about and Bran earlier seemed to have the same idea, that one word, bastard.
To start off with he was sat on his own, right in the dimly lit corner of the room, he'd always been a boy who enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own company so that wasn't a red flag. He called over one of the maids to ask her if there was any supper left, she replied that she would fetch him some, looked down and blushed as she walked away to tend to her duties. Ned wasn't surprised at the girl's actions, Jon had been filling out and maturing rather nicely if the reactions from some of the girls around Winterfell and Winter Town were anything to go by, he just hoped Jon wouldn't fall for the temptation. Thankfully Ned was the only one who noticed the girl as Jon seemed to be in a world of his own at the moment.
He seemed so lost in his thoughts, Ned really wished he could help him but he wouldn't talk him, and when he looked like he was about to open up he would ask about his mother. Ned would tell him but he was very confident Jon would take it the wrong way and rightfully so Ned mused. In every scenario that ran through his head, every single outcome had a negative impact whether it be him or Jon. Ned was sure the rest of the family would be shocked but accepting with the revelation but If Jon decided to leave because of it they wouldn't forgive me.
Ned returned his attention back to Jon as the maid returned with his supper, again, he seemed to be concentrating really hard on something, his furrowed brow and his famous brooding expression a dead giveaway. He was tapping his finger with no rhythm what so ever, was he counting something?
The quiet study of Jon was broken when Arya noticed him and broke the silence.
"Jon!" Arya shouted as she shot up from her seat and made her way towards him.
Catelyn tried to stop her from acknowledging Jon but one look from Ned was all that was needed to silently warn his wife. She was trying too hard to separate her children from Jon and it was slowly wearing Ned down, she had managed to create a barrier between Sansa and Jon but was evidently not successful yet with the rest of them as Rickon too shot up and ran across to his older brother.
"What can I do for you my lady" Jon replied with a smirk. "ooo, now then ya little monster" Jon said as he lifted Rickon so he could sit on his lap.
Arya replied with a punch to Jon's arm "Don't call me that stupid, you know I hate all that rubbish".
"Can we see your bear?" Rickon butted in, a look of excitement on his face.
"My bear?" Jon replied confused.
"No Rick, he's got a bear pelt, he didn't bring the bear back with him.....you didn't did you?" Arya said questionably.
"Sorry but the only grizzly beast that's in this keep is sat on my lap" As Jon tickled Rickon, filling the hall with his laughter.
"Stop!....STOP!, I surrender, I surrender" Rickon replied as Jon stopped his onslaught.
"So, did you really kill a grizzly bear?" Arya asked.
"I did, but I didn't go searching for it. I was ambushed by it and the only way I was to escape was if I could vanquish my furry foe" Jon replied as he exaggerated his voice to help charm the story to Rickon who was staring at Jon like he was one of those heroes from his stories.
"What happened next?" Rickon replied as Arya took a seat next to Jon. He could see in his peripheral vision that everyone apart from Catelyn was also listening in on Jon's tale.
"Well, all of a sudden, the great beast bolted towards the tree I was sat under and nearly caught me if I hadn't rolled out of the way to grab my bow. You see, I needed to slow the grizzly down so I put a couple of arrows into its legs, grizzly bears are incredibly fast for their size, when it ran into the tree I swear I felt the roots shake under my feet" Jon continued, capturing everyone's full attention, even Sansa couldn't help listening to a good story.
"I went to finish the fight with an arrow in between the eyes but the beast moved just as I released my arrow and it hit it, right up its nose" Jon continued as he tapped Arya's nose. Rickon giggled and Bran had a smile on his face.
"Now I don't know about you but when I've got a really nasty bogey up my nose I make it my mission to extract it from its lair, so you can imagine what the bear was trying to do with an arrow up there as well" Jon explained as Arya and Rickon started giggling, Sansa made a face and Catelyn stared daggers at Jon.
"So, with the beast distracted I reached for another arrow to finally put it out of its misery but as I went for another arrow I realised I was out, some of them had magically disappeared" Jon said. He slowly turned to Arya who had the decency to look guilty.
"I was gonna put them back I swear...I just forgot...sorry" Arya explained. She gave Jon her famous wide-eyed look whenever she tried to get out of trouble.
Jon accepted her excuse and carried on with his tale, "Well, since I'd run out of arrows, I had to rethink my strategy. Unfortunately, my sword was on my horse and that had bolted away so all I had left was the dirk on my belt" Jon explained "As the bear was busy with the arrow up its snoot, I had the opportunity to jump the bear from behind and thrust my dirk into its head, thus vanquishing the beast" Jon finished.
"Weren't you scared?" Rickon asked.
"I was, but you remember what father told you?" Rickon shook his head.
"It is the only time a man can be brave when he's afraid" Jon explained, Ned was surprised Jon had remembered him saying that.
"Did you take its pelt?" Arya asked.
"I did, but I made a huge mess of myself in the process, blood everywhere" Jon chuckled. "I'll show it to you both before you go to bed, it's so thick I'll probably lose the both of you in it" Jon said with a grin.
"We've both finished our suppers so we'll just wait here for you to finish" Arya suggested, clearly fishing for Jon to get a move on with his own meal.
"Give me 5 minutes and I'm all yours" Jon replied.
And with a clear of his bowl and a nod in Ned's direction, Jon and his two shadows left the hall.
"He is alright isn't he father? He barely acknowledged our table, didn't you have a word with him earlier?" Robb inquired when the three of them had left the hall.
Ned sighed "I did have a word with him, I think he's just feeling a bit unwanted at the moment. Ser Rodrik had suggested grooming him to be the next master-at-arms after he's retired, I agreed with him, it's no secret Jon is very gifted when it comes to swordplay and it would not only give him more purpose that he feels he's lacking at the moment but it would also keep Jon at Winterfell for years to come, something I think you and me both have been worrying about recently".
"If you say so father" Robb replied but didn't look confident with Ned's plan.
"Do you not think that would help?" Ned asked.
"I don't know, it just seems to me that he can't wait to get out. He's already got one foot out the door with all the time he spends in the wolfswood and mother and Sansa aren't exactly welcoming with him." Robb said and continued, "If he'd heard Sansa's suggestion about living in the woods he wouldn't have taken it as an insult, he'd have taken it as a genuine possibility for him, he's already proven he can handle himself out in the wild if that story about the bear is anything to go by and I'm concerned he's gonna realise that there's nothing stopping him from going through with it" Robb finished.
Ned had a lot to think about.
Jon
Jon chuckled as he watched Arya and Rickon run ahead of him towards his chambers, a sadness washing over him as he realised that tonight would be the last night he spent with them for a while, 'I can't be thinking like that, I have to leave for my own sake, no backing out'.
As he followed them into his chambers he realised he'd left all the books about sailing and fishing he'd been reading from the library all over his desk and unfortunately Arya picked up on them pretty fast.
"What are these?" She asked suspiciously.
He had to think fast on his feet "Just some light reading, was interested in how to fish efficiently in the rivers". He hated lying to Arya but he had to, if she found out the real reason he was learning to fish she would tell father then Jon would be made a prisoner in his own home.
"Oh okay" She accepted but Jon knew she was suspicious, "Sooo, where's this pelt?" Arya asked but Rickon had already found it.
"Eww, why's it so wet?" Rickon asked as he had the thing draped over him.
"Get that off Rick, I washed it in the bath tub after I'd used it myself and left it to dry in front of the fireplace" Jon said as he removed the pelt from Rickon, his tiny body emerging from its depths. "You should have heard the maid when she came to clean out the tub, she sounded like she was gonna throw up when she found all the blood and bits left in there" Jon chuckled.
"Are you gonna make a cloak out of it? Sansa might help if it involves anything with a needle and thread" Arya asked.
"I haven't decided yet but most probably, I've always wanted a bearskin cloak" Jon proclaimed.
Arya went and joined Rickon who was sat on Jon's bed and looked up at Jon with those slate eyes of hers almost as if she was trying to find something.
"Are you okay Jon?" Arya asked in such a sincere way it almost made him tear up. 'I shouldn't have favourites but I just can't help it with Arya'.
"What makes you ask that?" Jon asked.
Arya was clearly thinking on how to word her next sentence, "I don't know, lately you've just looked...fed up with everybody that's all" Arya answered.
"Is this about me breaking squidkid's nose?" Jon replied.
Arya chuckled "No, not that, he deserved that, he deserves a lot more but you were the only one to bring him down a peg." Arya then continued, "No its more...you just seem more outspoken whenever somebody mocks you".
"Father says it's the wolfs blood coming through, apparently I'm going through 'the change' so that's probably why I have a shorter fuse" Jon answered. "Your parents are gonna go insane when it happens to you two" Jon chuckled as he deflected. Arya was hitting too close to home with her evaluation of him.
Jon has had wolfs blood all his life but he's had to learn to control it, him coming of age had not changed his situation with it either so he knew it wasn't that, it was more a self-loathing issue he had and he'd realised he had to discover himself to be truly happy.
Arya didn't look convinced, "Are you sure?" She asked as she nibbled on her lower lip.
"I'm positive Arya, I'll be fine honestly, I'm getting annoyed with this conversation and I haven't bitten your head off so it's not like I'm going insane is it?" Jon replied. He wanted this topic of conversation over for many reasons, the main one being the fact he could feel his soul being chipped away bit by bit every time he lied to his little sister.
"Yeah but that doesn't count, I'm your favourite sister and you love me" Arya replied cheekily.
"Hey! What about me?" Rickon exclaimed.
"You're my favourite sister and I love you too Rick" Jon smiled.
"Good" Rickon replied with a smile as he carried on playing with the bear fur, completely oblivious to what Jon had just said.
Jon looked through his window and knew he needed to get a couple of hours sleep in before he departed. So, with that he caught Arya and Rickon in a big group hug which lasted longer than his normal ones and escorted them back to their wing of the keep, 'The family wing' Jon thought bitterly. He said goodnight to each of them as he hugged them one last time before making a swift getaway back to his chambers before he became a teary mess 'Stay strong Jon'. He returned to his chambers and collapsed on his bed, he just let the tiredness take hold of him.
Jon later woke up groggy and miserable, it was pitch black out. He must have had four or five hours sleep, he wasn't sure but he knew it was time to get packed. He got up and picked up the books he had borrowed off his desk and carried them under his arm, he then grabbed the empty sack he'd managed to obtain, exited his chambers and made his way towards the library.
Jon, a master of keeping to the shadows all his life managed to return the books to their rightful place without a problem. His next task was to acquire some rations for his journey, he knew he'd have to restock at the Stony Shore so he didn't plan on 'borrowing' much. With that he made his way towards the kitchens but not without nearly getting caught by a guard, he managed to dart into an alcove just before the guard came around the corner into the corridor he was in 'close one'.
He arrived in the kitchens and quickly filled up his sack with apples, hardtack and some dried beef jerky. He didn't grab any water as he'd already filled three skins up in a stream he knew about in the wolfswood earlier that day.
With his sack full he made haste back to his chambers, keeping an extra eye out for patrols. Back inside his room, Jon tied up his sack, washed his face in the bowl of water that was left for him in the morning and proceeded to change into his warmest clothing, all black of course. Jon then placed the six sealed notes he had written individually for each of his siblings and his father on his desk so that they could be found the next day...when he'll be long gone. The notes themselves were just him saying that he's sorry he didn't say goodbye in person, that they aren't the reason he left and that he will always love them and he hopes they will one day forgive him for leaving. His father's note explained that he didn't want to come in between him and his wife anymore, that he felt stagnant and useless in his day to day life, that he just wasn't happy anymore and that he wanted to enter the world and make a life for himself and not others. Jon also mentioned that he didn't understand his reluctance to tell him about his mother and that he hoped the information he kept from Jon was worth it for whatever the reason. Jon shouldn't have written the last part about his mother but he was too bitter at the thought of it all.
Jon pulled on his boots and pulled on his black cloak, with a bow slung over one shoulder, his bear pelt rolled up and hung over his other shoulder, a quiver full of arrows on his back and his sword and dirk strapped to his hip, Jon grabbed his sack of supplies, a bag of gold dragons he'd been saving up for the year and headed out of the keep. He knew if somebody saw him he was busted so he hurried down towards the godswood and made one last prayer to the old gods, a prayer keeping his family safe and another praying for a fruitful journey on this suicide mission he was going on.
As soon as he was done with his prayers, Jon jogged to the stables and saddled a horse for his journey. He packed his sack of supplies and his gold in his saddlebags, tied the bear fur on the back of the saddle and led the horse out and towards the hunter's gate. He knew this was the less guarded gate and he knew how to distract the guards. With the kennels being close by, Jon rattled the hounds up by banging on the bars and he led his horse down the side of the maester's turret and hid in the shadows. As the guard on duty, who happened to be Todd who he had broken the nose of earlier, walked towards the kennels to see what the commotion was about, Jon mounted his horse and bolted out the gate before Todd knew what had even happened.
Jon must have galloped towards the woods for five straight minutes before he realised he'd got out before anyone had seen him, the lack of bells ringing being a giveaway. He made one last look at the only home he knew, the home he had outgrown 'or had it outgrown him?'. If he survived his adventure he might see it again but he was kind of coming to terms that this might be the last time he sees those grey walls.
He knew he was gonna miss it but it was mainly the occupants that resided there that he was going to miss the most, it was also because of some of those occupants that he'd decided to take on this venture in the first place. With a deep breath to steel himself, he turned his horse towards the woods and began his journey into the unknown.
To a new beginning.
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