章 43: Scientist food really
In the end, Izuku didn't join the rest of the class during their movie night, opting to hide within his bedroom and finish unpacking his stuff; with only the dim hum of noise coming from the floor below keeping him company from the anxious thought which kept fogging his mind.
Classes were set to begin again tomorrow, and Izuku wasn't really too sure how to feel about it.
Things were going to be different from now on, there were people now in his class who were now aware of who he was, and the crimes he had committed.
Izuku grimaced as he placed one of his All Might figures on his shelf.
He hadn't had the chance to speak with any of them yet, and just by the looks and glares he received, he knew his stay at UA was going to become far more of a challenge to keep a smile plastered on his face for the sake of appearances.
He hadn't even taken into account their reactions once they would learn that he had been excluded from heroic lessons...
That night, he hadn't got that much sleep either, tossing and turning in his bed as memories haunted his dreams as he woke up every other hour. By the time his alarm had gone off in the morning, Izuku was left feeling exhausted.
Izuku had let out a tiresome sight as he had stared up at the bare ceiling of his room, contemplating whether it was worth getting out of bed yet, before rolling under the covers as he covered his head with his pillow.
There was little point in getting out of bed so early.
Unfortunately, his memory had failed to provide the reason his alarm had been set so early; much to Izuku annoyance and displeasure.
Only around ten minutes later, a knock at his door rang through the wood. Aizawa had come to remind him to get out of bed and gather his school supplies, before meeting him downstairs in the entryway to be escorted off to the main campus.
He wasn't permitted to eat in the dorms, around with all his friends, after all.
Izuku had forgotten about that.
Thankfully, there had only been a few of his classmates already downstairs in the kitchen making their breakfast once he arrived, subconsciously looking at the occupancy of the room before quickly walking past them as he avoided eye contact with them, the group giving him a range of odd to distrustful looks as he scuttled past towards Aizawa.
He hade only seen them for a split second, but as Izuku kept his head lowered as he followed his sensei closely behind, he couldn't help but feel the odd taste they had left in his mouth as he had left.
It certainly wasn't one of hunger. The odd looks he had received from lida, Kirishima and Tokoyami, wrongly supplied from his paranoid mind, morphing into one of hesitancy and distrust which had followed him out of the building.
Was it his hair? Was it because zuku was unable to hide the white patches which taunted him in the mirror as well as the day before? Was it the dark circles under his eye that made him appear and feel so exhausted and tired?
Had someone already told him Surely Kirishima hadn't found out what he was already? Was that why he was reacting to him like that?
The others weren't allowed to tell anyone, Aizawa had reassured him that they had been silenced by the police and yet the looks he had received had forced unnecessary doubt into his already paranoid and anxious mind.
The questions which kept piling within his thought, weighing his emotions down didn't help either, the looming possibilities of his other classmates finding out only growing as time seemed to pass on.
He hadn't known at the time, but Kirishima wandering concerned eyes had only been of worry for his friend.
Once had arrived at school, having trained silently behind Aizawa the whole way, he was led into one of the offices where he was expected to eat.
He knew it was necessary, the watchful eyes which almost scrutinized every mouthful of food from the specially prepared portions of flesh for the sake of his fellow UA students and staff, but Izuku couldn't help but feel the everlasting shame and guilt looming in his stomach.
It seemed as if even ghouls could be put off from their meals when faced with heightened anxiety and damped feelings, even if the now curated food wasn't coming straight from the slowly cooling flesh of a fellow human he had a hand in killing.
As glad as he was that he had been promised his food was from people who had volunteered their bodies to science and hospital training after their deaths and were no longer needed by the hospitals they were stored in, Izuku didn't really want to question where the flesh was coming from.
He didn't want to consider the possibilities that they were lying to him for his own sake of mind; if the flesh was from suicide victims, they certainly deserved a better fate than this.
It certainly wasn't as good as fresh meat, as much as it disgusted him to admit it, but every so often a chunk of fresher food came to him which Izuku could tell was only a few days if not a week only.
The fresher stuff made Izuku feel metaphorically ill, no matter how delicious it was.
After he had finished eating, much like during the week before, Izuku was silently allowed to leave; given the privilege to walk to his classroom alone.
Aizawa had quickly waved him off as he stated that he would catch up with him soon, as Izuku had looked over at where he had been uncaringly snuggling down in his sleeping bag, leaving him to walk past the possibly hundreds of cameras and hidden ones towards his where he could smell his classmates' seating.
Each subtle movement the cameras made a dark reminder that he was being watched as he had shuffled past, that he was never truly left alone.
They had told him this was what was going to happen to him, once he had arrived back at UA. He knew that there were going to be eyes on him, watching him for the safety of others around him, no matter how much they apparently trusted him.
Izuku just couldn't put a finger on why each small movement the cameras made left him feeling worse and sadder by the second, his emotions making his heart feel heavier in a way it hadn't done since Ochako had accepted the monster he truly was while feeling more empty than he had been in months.
Subconsciously, Izuku had forgotten what the weight of his own heart had felt like slowly drowning within his chest.
He hadn't realized till then how much just her presence in his life had benefited him in the long run and until now, and now he had destroyed her arm and possibly ruined all the work she had put into making their friendship work through all the trials and tribulations he had caused her.
He truly was a pathetic, horriblefriend, no matter how much she had tried to deny it.
Once he had arrived at his classroom, most of his classmates were already seated talking among themselves, leaving Izuku to silently walk in as he looked around the room; noticing only Todoroki and a few others were yet to arrive.
As his eyes had wandered Ochako offered him a small, awkward smile as he had walked through the door, which Izuku returned weakly; not having the energy to keep his smile his brightest while Bakugou hadn't even bothered to look up from where he was gazing out the window as he walked past to his seat.
It was calm, it felt normal, but Izuku couldn't help but feel on edge from the few disgruntled and uncomfortable glances sent his way which outweighed the oblivious chatter around them.
He felt like somethings prey.
It hadn't taken him more than a second to notice the undoubtedly terrified vibrations coming through the floor from Mineta's direction who was seated just behind him, the petrified boy shivering with fear as he had tried his best to hold himself together.
Izuku couldn't blame him for being terrified of him but attempting to keep his nerves subtle in his presence, whilst keeping his secret quiet from his supposedly oblivious classmates, was horribly poor.
He wasn't prey, they all saw him as a predator.
He wanted to feel bad, calling out his classmates pathetic attempt to himself, but the anxiety and stress it brought him far outweighed his abilities to worry; even though he knew he would undoubtedly be feeling repercussions later.
He always had a habit of putting others before himself, at least that was one of the few traits his trauma hadn't destroyed.
Sero's voice cut through his thoughts, as he noticed him turning back slightly to talk to the purple-haired boy behind him.
"Hey, Mineta? Are you alright-?"
Izuku flinched at the question just as Aizawa sensei had walked through the door, wrapped in yet another sleeping bag he had spotted laying around his senses apartment which looked more like a yellow space suit than anything else.
The sudden silence which came with his appearance was a blessing in disguise, as Izuku felt an instant wave of relief as he let himself take a deep and calming breath, leaving Seros' question cut short and Mineta still shivering silently behind
him.
Grimley, Izuku realized that it was going to be far more challenging for him to be around his classmates than he initially realized, the brief incident with Mineta mentally draining him as he let his body sag down, lowering his head to rest in his hands.
He wasn't even five minutes into his first day back at school.
As Izuku was slowly calming down from the relief he felt from his sense walking into the classroom, the pro hero took a moment to scan his eyes across the classroom at his pupils, noticing the tension which seemed to linger around the few of them who had learnt about Izuku's secret.
The pro hero let out a quiet sigh as his eyes combed through his student's expressions, notably recognising Izukus slumped figure looking exhausted and nervous at the same time, with Mineta seated just behind him looking as if he was about to pass out from how pale he was.
Aizawa narrowed his eyes slightly in thought as he realized the potential incidents which would occur from their seating arrangement, looking around for possible places to switch people.
"Mineta, switch places with Uraraka. You'll be seated there from now on."
The look of utter relief on both Mineta and Izukus faces was instantaneous as muffles of confusion rung around the classroom, the scrapping of Uraraka and Mineta's chairs could be heard, the latter quickly rushing out of his seat towards where Uraraka was getting out of her seat with a smile.
Izuku who had been watching silently looked at Aizawa with a small nod of gratitude, before he turned to look as Ochako quickly bounced over to the seat behind him with a warm smile, which he slowly offered weakly back; just glad that Mineta had been moved from behind him.
Aizawa waited for the class to quieten down from the lower murmur at the sudden seating change, the silence coming quickly towards him.
"Now you have all settled down, it's time for me to tell you about your next big battle."
Aizawa watched as some of his students shifted at his foreboding words as he narrowed his eyes seriously, bringing them all into the convocation.
"With the events of your summer camp and the attack on the USJ, along with your internships, you all now have seen what it is like to face villains in real-life situations. You've seen the power some of these villains you may face in the future possess and the hurdles you must overcome to defeat them."
Out of the corner of Izuku's eyes, he could feel people watching him at Aizawa's words, leaving him feeling dejected and ashamed as his sensei continued talking.
"These events will give you the upper hand when it comes to integrating yourself into the hero industry, but that isn't an excuse to slack off now.
Your opponents' won't start slacking off now and the villains you face certainly won't care.
A few students nodded around the room with understanding, their own flames of determination flickering around the room whilst Aizawa gave them a moment to take in his words as he turned with a controller in his hand towards the board and flicked on the screen. A small chart came onto the holographic board stating the few words
'Super Moves'
"The League of Villains have gone into hiding for now, but I can assure you all that doesn't mean they won't be back. Use these next few months to increase your strength and continue with the training you started during your summer camp."
Aizawa paused momentarily as he lowered his head into his scarf, his determined tone replacing itself with his usually tired one.
"In a months time the next provisional licensing exams will be coming up, "Aizawa began, turning back to look at the board as he flicked over a slide to the next hologram, "Usually, only second years and above have the chance to obtain a provisional license, however, due to recent events the school board has asked Nezu to extend it to first years.
This license will be your first step to becoming true heroes!"
The wave of excitement that fluttered around the classroom was instantaneous, zuku looking around the room as smiles replaced the determined looks almost each of them had shared, their own spirit momentarily lifting Izuku's own before he remembered Aizawas words from one of these few nights a week ago.
He wasn't allowed to join in with heroic lessons, which meant there was no way for him to develop any super moves for the licensing exam. Was he even going to be allowed to participate in the exam anyway?
As his thoughts buzzed through his head, blocking out the cheers and excitement from around the room, his sense cleared his throat as he waited for his class to return to silence again; which they promptly did.
Aizawa had let the serious tone in his voice drop and he let out a sigh.
"I know the last few weeks have been tough on all of you, but I'm glad that at least, the majority of you are still here."
An awkward silence rang around the room as eyes flicked over to the singular empty seat, a look of resignation shared around the room as the majority of the students thought back to the cover story they had been told of Hagakure's absences; for UA to save face.
"You have your first heroic lesson this afternoon, want all of you to put in some thought of any possible super moves you can come up with before your class." Aizawa began again, looking around the room after a while, moving on from the somber atmosphere his words had created. I want you all to put in your best efforts! Class dismissed."
As his sensei had finished talking, the sudden sowed of scuffling feet and scraping chairs cut through Izuku's lost thoughts, causing him to jump back to the present suddenly as he let out a confused startled sound.
Ochako, who had been picking up her bag looked over to Midoriya at the sound, quickly noticed his lack of awareness as she walked past his desk while he sat looking around the room in confusion.
She tilted her head in puzzlement at his odd behaviour.
"Uh, Deku? Are you ok-"
Izuku looked up at his friend in surprise as she had looked down at him, not realizing when she had appeared by his side with her eyebrows furrowed in his direction.
"Deku-"
"Oh, Midoriya?"
Unexpectedly, Aizawa's voice cut across the classroom just as Ochako was about to repeat her question, causing them both to jump slightly in surprise.
"…..O-oh-Uh, Yes!" Izuku stuttered out dumbly, realizing he had been caught up too much in his own thoughts to register what Aizawa had been saying.
His sensei's eyes relaxed slightly at his flustered response.
"Could I have a word with you for a moment?"
The two students shared a quick look between themselves, Ochako quickly looking over to her sense walking towards them before leaning back down to whisper something to her friend.
"I'll wait for you outside the door? Ok?" She uttered quickly to Izuku with a small comforting smile before jogging to the door with the rest of their classmates before Izuku responded.
Aizawa turned his head to watch as Uraraka walked out the door, before walking to lean against Bakugou desk as he spoke.
" I wasn't sure if you had remembered, considering everything that's been going on, but Nezu asked me to remind you that he would like to see you in his office instead of your heroic lessons." Aizawa conveyed softly, his quiet voice somewhat comforting to the green-haired boy as his sensei avoided drawing the attention of the few lingering students leaving the room.
Thankfully, most of the other students weren't paying much attention as he spoke, leaving Izuku sighing grimly before replying with a sad smile as he also stood to leave the room.
"..Ahh, right. Thank you for reminding me, sensei."
Aizawa nodded slowly, slightly concerned as he watched his students' demeanor before calling out Midoriya's name.
"Midoriya..?" His voice called out calmly, causing the green-haired boy to pause in his step.
"Mhh?" Izuku tilted his head lightly in confusion, waiting for his sensei to continue.
His sense furrowed his eyebrows in thought, hesitating before speaking up.
"I know this is going to be difficult, but the responsibility I gave myself while looking after you at the staff apartments doesn't stop now you're living in the dorms. You're always welcome to speak to me if something, or someone, is bothering you."
Aizawa had finished with a pause, his sentence almost seeming as if he had more to say but didn't know how to express it in words.
Izuku's expression loosened slightly as he looked at his sense with surprise, the latter giving him a small, odd yet somehow comforting smile.
Izuku kept quiet for a moment, not really sure of what to say as he felt an uncomfortable lump form in his throat from being put on the spot so suddenly, resorting to giving his sense a grateful nod as he turned to leave the room again.
"-Oh, Uh. Thank you, Sensei."
He walked out of the room in silence, closing the door behind him as Aizawa stood in the middle of his classroom, letting out a deep worried breath.
He couldn't help feel the few flakes of guilt floating through him as he took in the dejected look Izuku had left with, even though there was little Aizawa could do to work around the rules and restrictions placed above him.
In all honesty, there wasn't much Aizawa could do to avoid a lot of the things that he knew would happen between Midorya and the students who knew of his powers. It was plainly obvious of the rift slowly starting to form, but he knew it wasn't his place to tell them all what had happened to Midorya, that was up to him to decide.
Aizawa's eyes paused as he watched down the corridor behind his students at the confused and concerned looks both Uraraka and Todoroki were giving their friend, as they walked out the door together towards their first lesson. Well, at least Midoriya wasn't entirely alone.
As the weeks drew close to the licensing exam his classmates and friend were preparing for, Izuku couldn't help but feel more lonely than ever.
Aizawa words had hit close to home, far more than Izuku had initially released, but as the days passed by it was plainly obvious that the mood in the classroom around him had begun to grow sour; and the tension he felt growing between him and the few who knew had become thick and palpable.
It was clear to him that some of the others in his class had figured out that something had clearly happened, the weight which held him down with each glance and glare he received only grew stronger by the day.
Every disappearance he made early in the morning.
Every school lunchtime he was removed from.
Every hero course lessons he was pulled from.
They were all beginning to add up.
Izuku knew he was free to tell his classmates the truth, to involve them in part of his life which had inevitably doomed his heroic dreams from the start, but each time he came close to confessing something had stopped him; a force that held him back and kept his mouth shut.
For all Izuku could know, it might have been the petty side of him, that felt the anger and annoyance he despised growing from within himself; fueled from the thought that none of them who had seen him at the summer camp had bothered to ask him what had happened for themselves.
Sure they must have realized that the School would never have let him back into UA if they had considered him a threat?
The prospect just made Izuku's head hurt. The fear a few of his classmates felt towards him was beginning to spread, and it was clear people were starting to ask questions.
Only a few days after the new school term had begun, he had walked into the kitchen only to overhear an argument raging between Todoroki and Bakugou about something which had clearly happened in one of their heroic course lessons, listening silently to the context of it all.
Apparently, the conversation in the changing rooms about why he hadn't been joining in on hero course lessons had come up, and it had caused Mineta to slag him off in front of their classmates; the purple-haired boy's words apparently striking a chord with Todoroki and Bakygou, result in the supposedly private argument in the kitchen.
"Are you seriously going to let Mineta say that about Midoriya and get away with it? Bakugou! I thought you were his friend!"
"I never said he was my friend, idiot! I was just trying to get the attention off him!"
"That's not the point! Mineta saying things about
'how it would be better if Midoriya wasn't there' is bound to bring questions and attention to him that he doesn't need to deal with at the moment!
We can't let Midoriya hear people saying things like that to him at the moment, and we need to tell Aizawa to make sure he doesn't do it again!"
"Fine! You can tell him! But If Mineta can't keep his mouth shut next time, then someones gotta do it for him!"
At the time, Izuku had walked away from the argument silently and unnoticed.
A few days later, Uraraka had hesitantly told him about the girls in his class all asking about the distance which had formed since the summer camp between him, her and lida, leaving Uraraka at a loss of what to say.
It was when she had told him that, that he realized the strain and tension he was putting on his own friends' relationships, and they were beginning to suffer the consequences of standing by his side.
His close friends, the people who knew his secret, and the rest of the class, were beginning to form new and separated friendship groups. The group of people who had seen the monster he hid within his heart, choosing their sides, leaving Izuku trapped on the far edge; with only a few unsure staggers, such as Kirishima and Momo, stuck in the middle.
Slowly but surely, the close-knitted class that had once been 1-A was slowly falling apart around him, as accusations and false rumors began to spread around Izuku leaving him feeling more heavy-hearted than ever; with only Todoroki, Uraraka and surprisingly Bakugou standing strongly by his side.
Izuku couldn't stand what he had created, he hated what he had done to his friends, and he hated himself for not telling his classmates the truth they deserved to know.
The days seemed to pass by in a blur, each one merging into the next as the pattern of eating, school, and sleep continued. Soon enough two weeks had gone by, and nothing had improved.
"All right everybody, you've got a two-hour hero course lesson this morning, everybody grab your kits and go to the changing room." Aizawa had begun, a new day at school signaled by the ringing beNwhich came calling down the corridor as Aizawa turned to talk directly to Midoriya,
"Midoriya, Nezus would like to talk to you again this period, please head to his office as usual."
The looks shared around the classroom made Izuku grimace slightly at his sensei's words, the glares making him cringe as he ignored the few other odd looks he received, following the rest of his classmates out the room before heading in the opposite direction alone.
It was going to take a while before he got used to the thought of not participating in the heroic lessons again.
It certainly wasn't the first time he had been called up to Nezus office during what would have been his hero lessons, but more often than not he was made to sit in the staffroom and assist the other teachers with work, much to Izuku's disappointment; though sometimes he was given the chance to stay with All Might instead.
Izuku shuffled his feet along the floor and he held his hands within his pockets, slowly walking up the stairs to Nezus office.
It was really off putting and somewhat depressing at times, having to spend his time doing homework in the staff office with all the other teachers, while his friends were off having fun; even if he knew the teachers were seemingly trying their best to make his experience somewhat exciting for him, although there was little fun to be found in marking.
With a sad sigh, he reached Nezus office and reached up to knock on the door, only to be greeted by a little sticky note on the door.
Izuku tilted his head questioningly as he reached up to pluck the small yellow note off the door before he read it.
'Midoriya, for our meeting I would like for you to join me in the first year's support classroom and I'll meet you there. -Nezu. :)'
Confusion settled into Izukus expression as he slowly put the note into his pocket, curiously wondering what the Principle could want with him down in the support classrooms as he trotted down the stairs.
After a few flights of stairs down, past his own classroom again and into another tower of the school, Izuku reached the support classroom labeled on the note before knocking on the door and walking in as he called the Principal's name.
"Principal Nezu.?" He questioned cautiously as he walked slowly into the room, looking around the student free room, only to see the small mammal turning to face him at his name being called.
"Ahh! Midoriya, how wonderful of you to join us!" New called out with a smile, his little beady eyes shining as Izuku walked over to him where he was standing besides who Izuku identified as power loader.
Izuku peered over their shoulders to try and see what the pair were doing, curiosity getting the better of him just as Nezu turned to look at him, catching him in the act.
"Ahh! Sorry! I-i was just wondering-" Izuku stammered as he jumped back slightly in a panic only for Nezu to laugh lightly.
"It's alright to be curious, Midoriya. We were just discussing something we believe could be beneficial to you!"
Izuku tilted his head slightly with confusion.
"Beneficial?" He questioned, as Nezu nodded and turned back to the desk Power loader had gone back to look at.
"That's correct!"Nezu started joyfully, turning to Izuku with a closed-eyed smile, "We are currently trying to find a way for you to be able to participate in heroic lessons again"
Izuku felt his eyes startle wide at his Principal's words, not daring to get his hopes up as he stared jaw dropped at his teachers in disbelief.
"W-what, I thought I wasn't allowed to participate in heroic lessons again.!"
Nezu turned to face him with a wide smile.
"That, fortunately for you, isn't the case!" The mammal cheered, slowly hopping off the chair he was standing upon onto the table in front of them, Powerloader silently continuing to work as the principal and student spoke.
Izuku was left stunned at a loss for words, stuttering as he tried to form a coherent sentence through all the racing questions in his mind, leaving forward instinctually as he felt a hungry urge for answers overcome him.
"What- B-but? I- How!?"
Nezu turned back to the work on the table as he replied.
"Powerloader and I have been trying to discover a much faster and secure method of acquiring food for you, instead of having it delivered to the school from outside sources!" He began, slowly lifting up one of the pieces of paper on the table for Izuku to get a better look at the work; the words 'laboratory food' written inconspicuously to deter any prying people from discovering the project's true purpose.
"I'm sure you are aware that it would not be ethical, and therefore not possible, for me to find you a secure food source from within the school walls; through the means of collecting it from people here with regeneration quirks" He started again, leaving Izuku nodding silently and he was left intrigued at the principal's words, "So, I devised a plan to see if it would be possible for us to grow our own food for you in a secure and harm free environment!"
Izuku felt his jaw drop once again, his mind left unbelieving and blown away at the prospect.
"B-but how..?' Izuku stammered out, desperations slowly leaking into his voice.
Surprisingly, it was Powerloader who took over in the explanation.
"We plan to take microscopic samples of cells from someone who possesses regeneration quirks and utilize the powers of someone who has a quirk which allows them to stimulate the process of mitosis in the cells, without the presence of oxygen and nutrients they would usually need."
Nezu hummed in agreement, offering the paper to Izuku, who took it subconsciously.
"We are hoping the combination of the two quirks will provide successful results. Thankfully someone in the general studies course, who has just the quirk for mitosis stimulation, has generously agreed to help us; under the perception that we are conducting other experiments without alerting them to there true purpose.
We have been practising with some samples already and I thought it would be a suitable time to tell you. The tests so far have been successful and the products have all come out in the same molecular structure of human flesh."
Izuku blinked in shock, the words reaching his ears seemingly too good to be true as Nezu gave him a comforting smile.
"I'm not too sure how your body will react to it, but I have high hopes!"
The green-haired boy felt his mask concealing all the strenuous feeling begin to fail, the cracks in his demeanour from all the troubles he had been dealing with recently creaking at the seams.
"W-what about the person with the regeneration quirk? Do they know what's happening to their cells..?"
luzku said quietly, his eyes shaking as tears began to pool in his eyes. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the swirl of heart-wrenching emotions he had been trying to hide for so long threatening to leak out.
Nezu let out a small chuckle.
"Your friend, Hide, had offered to help, hadn't he?"
It was as if his words had knocked the wind from Izuku's chest, the green-haired boy drawing in a sharp, deep breath before a quiet sob trailed behind.
It was the rare times like this, which only happened once in a blue moon, that Izuku realized how fortunate he was in his situation to be surrounded by people who seemed to care, and how incredibly indebted he was to his teachers, his mother, and the few friends who stood strong by his side.
"T-thank you! T-hank you, thank you all! S-so, so much!"
He realized that while his situation was far from perfect, there were probably thousands of people worldwide with similar quick problems with no one available to help them.
Just like Kaneki, he had been blessed by meeting the right people at the right moment, and while his situation was far from perfect and the trail of death and horror which followed him would haunt him forever.
Things wouldn't get much better after this, in fact Izum was sure nothing between his classmates would change but Izuku was utterly glad to be at UA, and he was so grateful his heroes were willing to help him too!
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