章 16: Weaponry
I don't want a rapier. It's made by Italians, and I will not trust a weapon made by vain, effeminate fashionistas to keep me safe in the masculine art of combat.
Besides, it's common knowledge that Italians are sleazebags, so I can't trust their handiwork. In fact, they even failed to acknowledge China for about two decades from the 1950s, so clearly they don't understand the importance of the Han bloodline. Like most Europeans, they probably think we are all fat, angry, and resemble Winnie the Pooh. How could they make weapons that properly take advantage of the traits of my superior bloodline? Italians are the epitome of Eurotrash, I doubt their men can even fight, the closest they've come to combat is probably fantasizing about a muscular, husky warrior getting in bed with them. They are slimy filth.
They aren't a beacon of trustworthiness and honour, like me.
Continuing on with trying out weapons, he next got me what he called a one-handed sword.
I didn't expect much from it. It was very simplistic, just like the longsword, and this one had a smaller blade.
I thought that the longsword would be better than it because of its weight and size, making for better range and all that, and as someone who has used a spear, range is very important and could be a deciding factor in a fight. But I failed to account for the one-handed aspect of it.
While using it, I have a free hand to do whatever I need to do with it, for example: punching my opponent in the face after withdrawing the blade.
That's just one use, naturally, there are more options to go along with it, like shields, and the one-handed sword is much easier to use for a beginner.
The two-handed aspect of the longsword gives more control over the blade, on paper, that is.
The weight and length of the blade actually make it slightly, very slightly, harder to control without technical skill of using the weapon, meanwhile, this one-handed sword is fairly easy to grip and swing around.
And Reginald informed me of an aspect of it that makes controlling the one-handed sword even easier: half-swording.
To use half-swording, since I wasn't completely sure of what I was doing and didn't want to accidentally cut myself, I asked the knight for some gloves, and he delivered after a bit of rummaging around in the treasury, bringing me a comfortable pair of leather gloves.
The knight explained the idea. "Half-swording is a simple concept. You have one hand on the hilt of the blade, and use your other hand to grab the blade of the sword for better accuracy, control, and thrusting power."
It sounds crazy, but it was a common tactic in swordsmanship, and Reginald spoke in a casual voice as if it was an ordinary use of the sword. Perhaps it was common in this medieval context.
Naturally, he was watching over my testing of the weapons to make sure I didn't harm myself, or maybe it was simply out of boredom and having nothing else to do in here.
The gloves aren't necessary for this technique, as you can use half-swording without getting injured if you know what you're doing.
However, I do not know what I'm doing, so I'd rather be safe than sorry.
"I like this type of sword. Can I try other variations of the one-handed blade?" I asked Reginald, inspecting the handle of the sword in my hand.
"What kinds? We have plenty."
Pointing towards the one-handed sword that had only one edge, he got it for me and put the previous one-handed sword in the pile of weapons I had tried out.
Hmm… I don't like it. I'm likely to fight plenty of bulky animals and monsters in this game, and with only one edge the sword might get worn out or broken more quickly. This way, I could switch, giving it more longevity. Having two edges on the sword also gives more opportunities when I attack, although it might be a bit dangerous since I'm not that skilled. But most of my weapons so far have been damaged quickly, so the increased longevity makes it a necessary risk.
"I prefer the double-edged sword, can you get me that one?" I asked, pointing towards another sword.
I think that this one is a Scottish sword, and while I dislike using weapons forged by goat shaggers and alcoholics, this sword looks good. Besides, shagging goats probably requires some strength, and I'm sure that Scottish weapons would suit someone strong like me.
Rather than the cruciform-type sword from before, the guard on this one resembled a basket slanting towards the base. These types of blades are called Claymores, if I remember correctly.
There's not much of a difference between this sword and the other one, however, the guard angling towards the blade gives me more freedom of wrist movement, grip options, et cetera, and the blade itself is more to my liking. By that I mean that the shape and taper of it is better-looking and easier for me to use.
The typical Claymore is a large two-handed sword, but this one uses the design of the typical Claymore and scales it down until it can be wielded as a one-handed sword.
Asking for the two-handed, normal Claymore, it was also good, but for now, I'll use the one-handed variation.
"I'd like to use this one."
"This is your final choice? Very well, please wait while I put away all of this."
"Thank you, would you like me to help?"
"No. It would be shameful to have a guest do housework during his visit. Please stay put while I clean this all up."
What a nice guy.
Also, no. I don't think I will.
Sneaking away to a barrel I saw on the way over here, noticing a candle as well, I put the barrel of liquor in my inventory and grabbed the candle to go along with it.
I appreciate his help, but my personal interests are more important.
Losing is an irredeemable offense. Just look at my former clone. He was a loser, and I have to make sure I don't become one as well.
He probably started crying when he was about to die; becoming a cuck like him is unacceptable.
Imagine losing to yourself, the person that you literally know best and should be able to predict exactly what they'd do by simply putting yourself in their shoes.
Also, with how useless and hindering that little devil Silica with me is, I have to try extra hard.
The tribulations of the righteous are indeed vicious, but in order to live another day and continue my virtuous reign, I must kill Reginald.
I won't face the knight in a one-on-one fair fight. He's probably just as strong, if not stronger than me in raw strength, and his experience in fighting along with technical skill with his weapon and everything else is definitely superior.
And those factors decide most battles. Therefore, I must use other methods.
Placing the lit candle on a wooden structure near me, I pulled out the barrel of liquor from my inventory, and unscrewed the cork at the top.
Looking towards the knight, he was humming a bard's tune to himself with his back turned, yet to sense that anything was wrong.
While carrying the barrel, I started walking towards Reginald silently, who still had his hands full with all the weapons I had tried out, and I doused him in alcohol. Obviously, his armor had gaps that the liquid flowed through, getting the inside of the suit wet with alcohol as well.
He dropped all of the weapons on the ground and turned around, and in his moment of shock, I made sure to grab the candle I had left near me.
Touching his armor with the candle, he lit up in an extravagant display of fire, bringing with it shouts and rage-filled screams.
Alcohol is flammable, after all!
As a righteous man, it pains me to kill off a fellow virtuous knight, but it must be done in order to enact justice another day.
"WH-WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, NER-"
As Reginald began to shout I knew I needed to silence him before the guardsmen outside heard anything, and I was glad that the treasury was large.
Of course, I cut his words off with a mace that I had picked up from the wall of weapons.
Maces and warhammers were made for combating armor, and their effects are devastating.
Especially when you smack someone in the head with it.
He went down, and I made sure to let the body keep burning.
ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN!
Now then, the flames aren't enough to melt armor already, though, given enough time, they will.
They're more than enough to char a body, making it unrecognizable though.
In order to continue with the plan, however, I'll need his sword unharmed.
Good thing that the sword has yet to be burned or scarred from the flames.
Grabbing it off of him and pulling it out of its sheath, I saw how good of a weapon it was.
It was crafted extremely well, and had both an elegant and simplistic feel to it.
The strange part was how it looked like a crusader's sword, with a Christian cross on the guard. Perhaps he was a Christian himself? If this is a Christian Kingdom, then that suits me, since it means that they're natural martyrs.
But his religion doesn't matter for the moment. He's dead. Now, time to continue with the plan.
Walking over to another corner of the armory section, I saw the spare suits of armor all standing next to each other.
Storing one of them in my inventory and then bringing it out while near the body, I grabbed some ash and charred wood from the flames and started to rub them on the armor, giving it smudge marks and the smell of burning.
Going to the site of the flames, Reginald's body, I quickly swiped my gloved hand across the heated armor that was cooking him alive, and also rubbed that onto the armor, enhancing the smell of burning. I also continued with the former process of ash and charred wood, making it seem like the armor had been hit with an explosion.
The flames had stopped burning on Reginald's armor by the time I was done, and I tried out a little experiment I had in mind.
If it works, then I save some time, if it doesn't, then I just spend a little more time cleaning up.
Placing my hand on Reginald's armor, I willed it into my inventory, just like I had done with everything else I placed in there, and it worked.
Leaving me with a charred body that was unrecognizable.
That works well enough.
There was also some ash on the ground from burned wood, which I picked up and threw at the helmet of my new armor.
I want to plunder this place of all its weapons and valuable items, leaving behind fruit and marketplace goods as my payment, but alas, the circumstances don't allow such a thing. If I'm lucky, then I'll be able to come back later and do so.
However, while I don't have the time to steal everything, I can steal some stuff, and there are multiple places throughout the treasury that have barrels of alcohol, not just this part. These idiots of the castle didn't group them all in one place, which makes it easy to steal some without making anything look suspicious.
So, I walked around, emptied my inventory of one stack of a hundred flower seeds, and replaced them with a stack of alcohol barrels.
Approximately twenty alcohol barrels were now in my inventory after having gotten one from each group of barrels that I found.
Maybe I'll come across some Irish man later on that I can bribe with some alcohol.
At the least the alcohol from a royal treasury should probably fetch a high price outside.
Time to continue with the plan.
Starting the process of putting it on, I dismantled various parts of it and began dressing myself in metal.
It was hard, but using common sense on what goes where and also looking at the other suits of armor for reference, I had it on fairly quickly.
I have no idea why the barrels of liquor are so close to all the weapons, but it's extremely convenient and makes what I have planned much easier to carry out.
The candle from before had yet to go out, so I unscrewed the cork off of a few barrels and walked over to one part of the treasury that had ropes and thread.
Linking each rope together and eventually reaching the point where it was like a collective with one rope sticking out that was just waiting to be lit reminded me of fireworks.
Once I light the main fuse on a firework, it lights the rest of them, and then once they reach the firework itself, they all explode.
Putting one end of a rope in each barrel opening was easy enough, and next, all I had to do was light the ending part of the main one.
After making sure Reginald's body was still burning so it looked believable when they came here of course.
Dousing the body in some more alcohol and lighting it, I continued to light the end of the rope after getting far enough away as well.
Alcohol is flammable.
The rope burned as it went along, especially after I used a little alcohol to get all of them wet as well.
And all of those barrels lighting at once in such a compressed state led to something called an "explosion", rocking the floor beneath me and sending a small shockwave throughout the area.
The guardsmen burst into the room, as I could hear the door crashing open, and as they ran towards the armory section, I started the acting.
Acting has always come naturally to me.
"*COUGH COUGH…*"
"Sir Reginald, what happened?!" one of the guardsmen asked. "Who is that on the ground!?" he said after noticing the charred body near the explosion site, which was still burning.
"St-start putting out the *cough* fire… I need to report to the *cough* Grand Master…"
"Ye-Yes Sir!"
Running in armor is hard, yet not impossible.
Leaving the treasury, I reflected on my plan.
It worked perfectly.
Smearing ash and all that over my helmet makes it look like I inhaled some from the explosion, which is why "Reginald's" voice seems weird, and I can back it up with my coughing.
At this point, I'm questioning these people's ethnicity, because this intelligence level befits the average Japanese citizen.
The little devils aren't very smart in the head; they can only sexualize young girls in their media and make women-subservient main characters.
I beat up the "friend" who recommended that I watch some anime. He recommended that I watch something called "High School DxD" and I was utterly disgusted and disappointed in him. He said something about "the world being good", and that it "made up for the other flaws". He said that he had read every volume of the light novel, and it was quality literature with better world-building than 'Tolkien,' whoever that is.
All excuses.
My mother heard about this as well, and encouraged me to cut ties with him, which I gladly did.
Now, people may think me cruel for beating him over such a thing, but I did so with good intentions. When others heard about it, they shunned him. I beat him daily to make him feel included and that he belonged.
It is like the blacks in the USA, who are now savage and live in ghettos, but used to have a sense of belonging and purpose due to slavery. That is why they were happier under slavery, because it is what comes naturally to them.
So you see, my intentions were righteous, as am I.
And, if it wasn't clear, this friend was Luo Ming.
Back to the plan.
Running to the throne room and encountering a few confused servants along the way, who were questioning why a knight was so dirty and was running along the hallways, the knights standing guard at the throne room door stopped me regardless.
"Reginald! What happened to you?!" asked one of the knights.
"There was *cough* an explosion in the treasury… move *cough* out of the way, I need to *cough* …report to the Grand Master."
Pushing past them like I belonged in here and opening the door on my own, I burst into the throne room and saw everyone turn towards me, the Grand Master taking notice of the burn and smudge marks on my armor.
"Reginald. What happened? Why is your armor so dirty?"
Silica looked at me as well, with a curious expression on her face.
The king was listening too.
"THERE- *COUGH*...there was an explosion in the treasury…"
The Grand Master's eyes narrowed at that, seeing the implications of my statement and hearing my "regretful" tone.
"...Where is Sir Nero?" he asked.
Silica realized it as well, and I heard her voice through the mental link.
{N-Nero, where are you? Are you okay?}
I won't tell her about me being right in front of her. She could spoil my plan easily, and I also won't speak through the mental link in order to make her reaction to what I'm about to say genuine.
"...Sir Nero is… dead."
The Grand Master started walking towards me, and Silica's face contorted into confusion, at first, then into shock, then denial, then she started tearing up; acceptance.
Classic little devil. It seems that my prediction of her forgetting that if I die, she dies, and vice-versa, came true.
Her IQ never fails to impress me. At how low it is, of course.
"What happened? How could you have let a guest of ours die under your watch?!"
"Fo-forgive me *cough* Grand Master… I feel nothing but shame."
"I'll deal with you later. You aren't in the best shape, so stay here with Guille and continue guarding the king and the lady. I'll take the rest of you knights and we'll investigate. This is too strange and suspicious, especially when there's a suspected intruder."
HAHAHA! Keeping this grin off my face is unnecessary because of the helmet covering it, so I am free! This plan has gone perfectly!
The death of Reginald went even better than expected, and all of the events afterwards synced up with that perfectly, leading to this opportune moment.
All I need to do is make sure the final part of this plan is executed correctly now, and it should be easy enough to make sure of that. It shouldn't be too hard to execute, and I can always adapt and alter the plan according to the situation, which is especially easy at moments like these, where the plan only has one objective left to execute.
The word "execute" is very fitting to describe the final part of the plan as well, and I will enjoy "executing" a certain King Edward III.
Reminds me of France. Kings there got executed and overthrown a lot of the time.
It's because, like this King, French people are too pathetic to be kingly.
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