章 62: Chapter 62
Meanwhile Frisk and Papyrus were sitting on the boat while Undyne was directing the boat. They were just passing by the city.
"I can't believe that asshole," Undyne said as Frisk ruffled his hair to mess it up. "Where the hell does he get off trying to steal you like that?"
"Yeah," Papyrus said. "I don't understand why Mettaton's being so mean. He's usually so nice on his shows."
"He was just pretending to be nice until he got what he wanted, Papyrus," Frisk said sadly looking up at him.
"I've seen lots of people like that on that surface.
My parents warned me about them. I'm glad they did.
It taught me how to avoid them in school and on the streets."
Papyrus looked at him curiously and asked, "Are lots of people like that?"
"Well, like I said before, most people are just apathetic, but there are people who are willing to hurt anyone just to get something they want," Frisk replied honestly.
"Sometimes, the ancient scriptures say, they even delight in being bad. It makes some people happy…"
"Like Flowey?" Papyrus asked sadly.
"Yeah," Frisk replied looking away at him and up at the buildings they were riding past in the river.
For a moment, Frisk was silent as he simply gazed at the city.
He had never noticed how large it was.
He had never noticed how bright and beautiful it was in its own way either.
Frisk smiled as he took out his phone and started taking pictures of the passing buildings.
"What are you doing, Frisk?" Papyrus asked.
"If we have to hide in the Ruins for a while, then I won't get to see the city again for a while," Frisk said without looking at him.
"I'm taking pictures, so I can look at them while we're hiding. I want to come back here."
Papyrus smiled as he stood up, picked up Frisk, grabbed his phone from him, and adjusted the photo settings to take a selfie.
"Papyrus, what are you doing?" Frisk asked.
"We're taking a selfie," Papyrus said happily.
"I, the Great Papyrus, have been your big brother for two days, but we don't have a single photo with us together. That will not do at all! So, smile!"
Frisk smiled as Papyrus snapped several photos of the two of them together.
"Hey, Undyne!" Frisk said.
"You should come in. You're my big sister, right?"
"Frisk, I can't," Undyne said anxiously. "I'm steering the boat here."
"Come now, Undyne," Papyrus said persuasively. "Surely, you can do two things at once. You are capable enough to do that."
"Well, you are right," Undyne said proudly. "Okay, come over here. Let's have a family photo."
"Yay!" Papyrus said as he handed off Frisk to Undyne and wrapped his arm around them both before taking a few more selfies.
Suddenly, their boat lowered into the water causing them all to fall off-balance on top of each other on its floor.
"Frisk? Undyne?" Papyrus asked scrambling off his friends as quickly as he could.
"I'm fine," Frisk said as Undyne crawled off him allowing him to stand up and take his phone back from Papyrus.
"What was that?"
"Over there," Undyne said gesturing directly ahead of them to the shore where the two figures were walking towards them.
Frisk did a double take. He recognized the hooded owner of the ferry with the magic glowing from his skeletal hand and the disgruntled employee walking next to him, even though the latter was wearing jeans and a hoodie instead of his regular uniform.
"What the hell is your problem? You could have killed us, you…" Undyne yelled.
"Oh, hey there, River!" Papyrus interrupted quickly while hiding Frisk behind him as they stepped on shore.
"There, you are. I'm so sorry.
We didn't recognize you from so far away! You're just the monster we were looking for.
Undyne and I were doing some training when we caught Mettaton trying to sell your boat without your permission.
We got it back for you…"
"Yeah, and we just got through kicking his ass, so you shouldn't worry have to worry about him for a while either," Undyne said following behind him. "No need to thank us! We're just doing our job."
Frisk hardly breathed as Papyrus moved him in front of him and pushed him ahead as they started powerwalking away towards the city, and said, "We'd love to chat, but we're so famished from the fight and there are so many good restaurants here..."
"Yeah," Undyne agreed turning her head back while walking next to Papyrus to hide Frisk more completely from view.
"Call us if you have problems!"
Their lie seemed to work for a few moments.
"Great job, Papyrus," Undyne whispered.
"Yeah, I can't believe that worked," Frisk whispered.
"Me neither," Papyrus whispered back.
Unfortunately, that was when River and Burgerpants shortcut in front of them much to their chagrin.
"Nice try," Burgerpants said with a snide smile.
"But my boss called us about ten minutes ago at the casino.
Frisk, you need to go back to the studio with us. Your Dad's not too happy that you ran off…"
Frisk's face twisted into an angry expression as he snapped, "Tell that mofo that he's not my Dad, so I don't have to do a damn thing he says!"
"Easy, human," Burgerpants replied as he took out his phone. "I'm just doing my job…"
"Wait a second," Papyrus said quizzically. "Why in the world were you at a casino?"
"It was Mettaton's idea. He sent me there to keep River entertained when he paid him to borrow his boat. Oh, my God! It was amazing! I hated leaving. We were doing so well…" Burgerpants trailed off.
"My new friend and I won 10,000G," River said excitedly.
"I know, right?" Burgerpants said turning to his friend and seeming to forget his job for the moment.
"I still can't believe it. Who would have thought that you were so good at gambling?!"
"Now, Burgerpants, you should be careful about saying things like that. It makes you sound racist."
"You're absolutely right, River. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. You know. I've learned so much from you today. I can't believe we've only known each other for less than 12 hours…"
"Yeah…" River said happily while looking back towards the trio. "Burgerpants, I think we've lost something."
Burgerpants looked up and saw that Papyrus, Undyne, and Frisk had, in fact, disappeared.
"I'm so fired," Burgerpants said in a panic before spotting them on top of the boardwalk next to the buildings.
"Wait, there they are!"
In one move of his hand, Burgerpants managed to pick all of them up telekinetically at once and immediately teleported them back to where he was before dropping them on the ground.
He then magically created floating condiment bottles that squirted fire.
"Nice try!" Burgerpants psychotically leering at them all on the ground. "But I am not losing the only job I have because some monsters and a human decided they didn't feel like listening to me…"
"Um, Burgerpants," Frisk interrupted in confusion while he and his friends were still rubbing their sore spots on the ground.
"How did you do that?"
"Do what?" Burgerpants replied immediately regaining his calm composure.
"The telekinesis, teleportation, and magical condiments thing," Frisk replied.
"Yeah, this kinda came out of nowhere," Papyrus added.
"Your HP and CP shouldn't even be high enough to do that kind of magic," Undyne said.
Burgerpants' expression sank back into disappointment.
Then he said, "What? Just because I'm not strong like you two are, I can't have any magical skills to speak of? I was hired at the burger joint for my magical skills! You're the real racists!"
"What?" Undyne asked with a confused expression on her face.
"Please, you can't let him take me," Frisk said standing up and walking up to Burgerpants with a pleading look in his eyes.
"I already have a family with these two and two others who aren't here. They're signing the adoption papers today. Mettaton knew that, but he doesn't care. He's trying to kidnap me!"
Burgerpants' eyes softened into a look of pity as his magical condiment bottles disappeared.
"The kid is telling the truth," Undyne said walking up behind Frisk.
"Yeah," Papyrus said appearing behind Undyne.
"If you try to take Frisk, you'll be an accomplice! And that's bad!"
Burgerpants stared at his phone and hesitated for a moment as River said, "He's right. You know."
"I know, River, but if I lose this job, I can kiss my acting dream goodbye," Burgerpants said.
"I'm 19! I'm too old to change my career path now…"
"What if we make it worth your while?" Frisk interrupted quickly coming up with an idea.
"What are you talking about?" Burgerpants replied.
"Well, what if we added to whatever amount of money you spent gambling today? Could you forget you saw us?"
Burgerpants looked at Frisk pitifully and said, "Kid, that is really sweet, but to be an actor, I'd have to hire an agent and that costs more than your average allowance if you know what I mean…"
"How about 50,000G?" Frisk asked.
Burgerpants' eyes and smile grew wide with excitement.
"That would help with my friend's costs considerably," River said with a smile in his voice.
"Undyne, do you still have the check?" Frisk asked.
Undyne smiled, pulled the check out of her pocket, handed it to Burgerpants, and said, "Here, you go. Now, you think you can forget you saw us?"
"Well, I wouldn't technically be lying if I said I didn't see your boat go past the city…" Burgerpants replied taking the check and immediately shrugging in disappointment. "I can't take this."
"What do you mean?" Frisk asked desperately.
"Why not?!" Undyne asked in frustration.
"Because it's signed under Frisk's name," Burgerpants said showing the spot where Frisk's name was written on the check.
"Can't you simply cross it out and write your name instead?" Papyrus offered.
"That is illegal," River said.
"Burgerpants would be accused of stealing and be sent to jail. I know. I used to be a lawyer who specialized in financial crimes."
"Well, uh, couldn't he just get the money for you?" Papyrus asked hopefully. "That's legal, right? It'd be like a present."
Everyone turned to River who stood there thinking of a response while they waited with baited breath.
Finally, he said, "That is technically legal, but such a large withdrawal of money from a bank at once would draw suspicion.
Mettaton's bank would most certainly call him and clue him in to where you are."
Papyrus thought for another minute and suggested, "What if we gave it to you in small increments?"
"That could work. You would still be getting the money that way, Burgerpants," River said.
"I don't know," Burgerpants said while pondering. "I still could risk getting in trouble with the boss before I even get the first payment…"
Undyne couldn't take it anymore.
She screamed in frustration, pulled out her spear, pushed Frisk and Papyrus behind her, and yelled, "WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP! YOU ARE GOING TO LET US GO OR I'M GOING TO IMPALE YOU HERE AND NOW, TWERP!"
"Fine, take back your stinkin' money!" Burgerpants yelled while wadding the check into a ball and throwing it back to Frisk as his magical condiment bottles materialized again.
"I haven't used my powers for anything besides fast food service work anyway!"
"If both parties are in agreement, the fight shall commence," River said formally.
"Get out of here, you two!" Undyne yelled. "Cash that money in for a nice hotel! I'll catch up with you later!"
"Okay," Frisk said stuffing the check in his pocket, taking Papyrus' hand, and trying to run away while Papyrus refused to budge.
"Let's go, Papyrus!"
"But Undyne…" Papyrus began.
"Papyrus, that's an order from your captain! Move your ass!" Undyne yelled before she and Burgerpants charged at each other with their respective weapon.
"Ma'am, yes, ma'am," Papyrus said enthusiastically scooping Frisk into his arms and running back towards the boardwalk.
Unfortunately, they didn't get too far before a force field of lightning blocked their path.
Both their stomachs dropped as Frisk whimpered, "Oh, no…"
As if on cue, Mettaton posed between Undyne and Burgerpants and stopped them both in their tracks.
"Boss?!" Burgerpants asked.
"Tisk, tisk, Undyne," Mettaton said with an annoyingly arrogant look in his eye. "I expected better from you. You should know better than to start a fight in front of a child. Speaking of which, I believe you have someone who belongs to me."
"PISS OFF, YOU LYING JACKASS!" Frisk screamed from Papyrus' arms.
Mettaton looked over to see Frisk glaring bullets at him. It took Mettaton aback for a moment to see such anger behind the boy's eyes, but he quickly regained his composure.
Mettaton looked at Frisk condescendingly as Papyrus slipped back next to Undyne and said, "There, you are. I've been so worried…"
"Yeah, I'm sure, liar," Frisk replied sarcastically.
"Darling, is that any way to speak to your new Daddy? I never lied to you. I told you I would send you home with money. I just never mentioned whose home you were going to…"
"You are not my Dad, and that's still lying by omission!" Frisk yelled.
"I wanted it to be a surprise," Mettaton replied calmly.
"Bullshit!" Undyne yelled. "You knew we were signing the adoption papers! You just wanted to steal him from us, asshole!"
"Such violent behavior and around a child, too," Mettaton reprimanded while shaking his head.
"I've seen worse," Frisk spat back in response.
"Frisk, hush," Papyrus chided.
"I know you have, you poor little thing," Mettaton said walking up to Papyrus until he was looking directly into Frisk's eyes.
"You were homeless after all. You must be so traumatized by what you've had to see and endure.
You need some expensive therapy to help you get over it. That's why I'm here to help you.
If you were smarter, you'd accept my help instead of running away with such violent ruffians the moment I turn my back, but I suppose that is why I have to be the adult and make the right decision for you."
Before Frisk could blink, Mettaton had pulled him out of Papyrus' arms and into his own.
"Let me go!" Frisk yelled while struggling furiously to get out of Mettaton's arms.
Papyrus stood there in shock while Undyne materialized a spear and held it to Mettaton's neck.
"You let Frisk go or I'll show you exactly why I was made the captain of the royal guard, asshole," Undyne threatened in a quiet but intimidating tone that Papyrus had never heard.
"It seems that we're at an impasse," Mettaton said calmly.
"Neither of us is willing to let the child go.
It looks like we'll be having a custody battle…"
Before Mettaton could continue, Frisk opened his water bottle and splashed its contents into Mettaton's face hoping to make him short circuit.
It appeared to work.
It disoriented him long enough for Frisk to escape his hold and run behind Undyne. Papyrus broke out of his daze and did the same thing while Mettaton dramatically shook his head and acted like he was damaged.
"Frisk…" Mettaton moaned dramatically while twitching his head. "How…how could you do this to me? I feel…I feel…So very sexy!"
Mettaton flipped his hair dramatically and said, "Nice try, dear, but this body was designed to be waterproof in case of potential stage accidents. Still, I must give you credit. You're highly resourceful for a child. That will benefit us both…"
"Like hell," Frisk spat back from behind Undyne.
"He ain't going back with you, freak," Undyne said backing away with Frisk and her spear held in front of her. "So, piss off."
"So, there's no way you'll let him go willingly?" Mettaton asked while strutting away in the sand as best he could.
"No, we saw him first!" Papyrus yelled with a devastated heart. "We are not letting you take our little brother away! So, stop being so mean!"
"Well then, I guess this means we're going to have a CUSTODY BATTLE!" Mettaton yelled posing happily as his upbeat music and cameras broadcasting back to the studio appeared out of nowhere and everyone looked around in confusion.
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, I have a bonus treat for you! It turns out that Frisk has another party interested in raising him, so to resolve our dispute, they will endure the CUSTODY BATTLE OBSTACLE COURSE! If our two contestants can finish the obstacle course before the show is over or if the other brother shows up at the studio with his paperwork beforehand, they will be allowed to take Frisk home with them! But if they lose, Frisk will be all mine! My dear contestants…"
"Mr. and Mrs. Skeleton!" Papyrus yelled while Undyne's expression fell in shock and Alphys spat out her coffee from her seat on the tram she was riding on.
"Mr. and Mrs. Skeleton," Mettaton said with barely disguised amusement. "Do you accept these terms?"
"Hell yeah!" Undyne yelled. "We'll kick its ass and yours, pretty boy!"
"Yeah!" Papyrus agreed. "The Great Papyrus never says no to a challenge!"
"Don't worry, guys," Frisk said. "We'll get through this…"
"We?!" Mettaton said somehow reaching Frisk's arm from behind and pulling him away from his friends. "Oh, you silly little thing. You're not helping them."
"What?!" Frisk yelled in a panic almost at the point of tears. "Why not?! Let me go!"
"Out of the question," Mettaton said condescendingly.
"What kind of father would I be if I put my weak and traumatized little darling in harm's way?"
"Never stopped you before," Frisk muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Mettaton asked. "You were too quiet for me and the microphones, darling."
Once again, Undyne had had enough.
She pointed her spear at Mettaton, charged at him, and yelled, "How many times do I have to tell you to leave our kid alone?!"
Unfortunately, Undyne and Papyrus felt the floor fall from underneath them the next second, and they both fell through the trapdoor into an obstacle course.
"NO!" Frisk screamed as he shook his hand out of Mettaton's grip and ran towards the portal only for it to disappear on him as he approached it.
Frisk fell on his knees where the opening used to be. Tears were streaming down Frisk's face as he dug his hands into the sand to find the opening.
"Where is it?!" Frisk asked as frantically felt his way around in the sand. "Where did it go?! I have to find them!"
"Frisk, that is enough of that," Mettaton said disapprovingly as he pulled Frisk out of the sand and back into his arms.
"You should know better than to play in the sand when you're wearing nice clothes.
Now, beauties and gentlebeauties, the intermission should only be about 30 more minutes, so be sure to come back to your seats! And cut…"
The cameras disappeared, and Frisk went back to struggling furiously.
He managed to slip out again, but Mettaton caught him by the wrist.
Frisk unsuccessfully struggled to get his hand out of Mettaton's while the latter was unfazed and said to Burgerpants and River who had been standing in stunned silence the whole time, "Good work, Burgie. As promised, you will be getting a raise and a better job. You'll be this little guy's babysitter. How does that sound?"
Frisk locked eyes with Burgerpants.
He stared at him pleadingly.
Burgerpants felt a knot grow in his stomach as he said, "That sounds great, boss."
"I was going to make today your first day, but I think he needs some serious parental bonding time so I'm going to keep him with me for right now," Mettaton said looking at Frisk who in turn avoided his gaze while continuing to struggle. "I'll call you if anything changes."
"Of course, Mettaton," Burgerpants said quietly.
"Splendid," Mettaton said picking up his new son and tapping his foot in the sand to create a portal back to his dressing room. "Now, come along, Frisk. You and Daddy need to have a little chat."
"You can make those with your feet?" Frisk asked quietly while Mettaton started rubbing his hair.
Frisk immediately shrank back at the gesture to Mettaton's sigh of disapproval.
"I'll see you later, Burgie," Mettaton said. "River, thank you again for the boat! It's all yours now."
Then without saying another word, Mettaton jumped back into the dressing room.
Meanwhile, at the obstacle course, Undyne and Papyrus were still rubbing their sore spots while sitting at the entrance of a large obstacle course blocked by a gate and a large sign above it bearing a timer counting down from 30 minutes.
"I swear to God the next time I see that bucket of bolts I'll dismantle him myself," Undyne fumed angrily.
Papyrus pulled out his phone and said, "I better update Sans. He's not going to be happy."
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