章 69: What’s Wrong with Liking What You Like?
Of all the animals, the one Amane liked best was the cat.
He liked most animals, but cats were special.
He had memories of begging his parents to take him to zoos, aquariums,
and even farms when he was a young child, but ultimately, the creatures he
felt the most affection for were the neighborhood cats. He liked them so
much that he had always vaguely thought about getting one as a pet in the
future, when he lived alone.
Despite that, as he grew older, he stopped openly saying that he liked
cats.
Around the time he entered middle school, the house cat in his
neighborhood had reached the end of its life span, and he'd stopped seeing
it around. What's more, his classmates had made fun of him for liking cats,
so he had learned to keep it to himself.
And now that Amane was in high school, he lived in an apartment
building and rarely saw stray cats, so he never had the chance to play with
any. Instead, he satisfied himself with watching cat videos online every day.
One of the channels that Amane frequented put out a photo book, and
Amane went out of his way to order one the very day it was released.
Even though he had gone ahead and reserved a copy, the book was
going on sale close to the Christmas shopping season, and Amane was
worried sick that there would be some kind of strange problem at the
bookstore.
He had spent the whole school day restlessly fidgeting, slightly on edge,
and the only thing he had been able to think about was picking up the photo
book on the way home and giving it a good read.
"Welcome home. I'm sure it was chilly outside. Would you like
something warm to drink?"
Mahiru had gotten there before him. Amane froze.
Finding Mahiru in his apartment wasn't particularly strange in and of
itself.
On top of stopping in at the bookstore, Amane had been tasked with
buying the ingredients for that night's dinner at the supermarket, so he had
gone shopping. It made sense Mahiru got back first, assuming she went
straight home from school.
She came to greet him as if it was the most natural thing in the world,
and she blinked several times in surprise when she saw that Amane had
walked in with a pleasant look on his face.
"You've been in a good mood all day."
"Yeah, I guess."
He was much too embarrassed to tell her that he was in high spirits
because he had acquired the coveted cat photo book, so he gave her a
roundabout answer. Of course, that only seemed to make Mahiru even more
interested.
"…Did something happen?"
"Ah, n-no, not really… It's nothing."
"That's not a 'nothing' sort of face, though."
"Really, it's nothing."
Out of embarrassment, he looked away and tried to change the subject.
But apparently, that was even more suspicious, and Mahiru slowly
narrowed her caramel-colored eyes.
They had a general unspoken agreement not to meddle in each other's
private lives, but it would be a different matter if he had done something
inappropriate.
From Mahiru's perspective, it was easy to see that Amane was acting
suspiciously.
She stared at him intently.
His secret was nothing to feel guilty about, but it also wasn't something
he wanted to just come out and talk about, so now he had to worry about
her suspecting him of something more sinister.
His eyes darted around unconsciously, but that only made him seem
even more suspicious. Mahiru's gaze grew extra sharp.
When her eyes fell on the bag from the bookstore, Amane held out the
groceries, doing his best to distract her.
"It's really nothing; please don't worry about it. Would you put the
groceries in the fridge for me? There are frozen things in here."
"I can see that, but something seems off."
"Don't worry about it, please, I'm begging you," Amane said.
As he pushed the supermarket bag into Mahiru's hands, the bag
containing his book slipped off his wrist.
In a slight bit of good fortune, it happened after he had already handed
her the other bag, so no one was hurt, but—the photo book he had been
doing his best to hide fell to the floor with a loud thud.
If there had been a picture of a human on the cover, he might have still
been able to explain it away, but the cover was an extreme close-up shot of
a charming, round-eyed cat. Even as cute cat pictures went, this photo was
really over-the-top.
Silence fell over the room. A wave of despair crashed into Amane.
Mahiru was just as frozen as he was at this sudden development, but she
thawed out first and picked up the fallen photo book.
Amane braced himself for whatever she might say, but Mahiru just
smiled gently at the cute cat on the cover.
"Oh, how adorable!"
Then she lightly brushed the dust off the photo book and handed it to
Amane.
"By any chance, were you late because you went to buy this?"
"…Is that so bad?"
His voice was rather cold, mostly because of the incredible shame.
Mahiru didn't seem put off by his brusque manner of speaking. She
simply wore a calm, pleasant expression.
"No, there's nothing wrong with that. I actually think it's wonderful. But
it was a little suspicious how hard you tried to hide it, even though there's
nothing to feel guilty about."
"I—I thought you would laugh at me."
"I'm upset that you worried I was the kind of person who would mock
someone for things they like. You know I wouldn't do something like that,
right?"
"I—I do, but…there are people who would smirk and tease me for liking
cats so much that I went out of my way to buy a photo book."
"It's not like it's immoral or anything, and it doesn't bother anyone else,
so why shouldn't you be free to like cats or buy photo books if you want?
Most people who scoff at other people's interests can probably find fault
with just about anything."
With these truly openhearted words, Mahiru soothed Amane's lingering
discomfort. For some reason, she looked relieved that there wasn't anything
else in the bag.
"You didn't have to worry about something like that, Amane. You were
being so sneaky, I thought for a moment that you bought something
indecent."
"There's no way!"
It was unavoidable that she would have such suspicions, especially when
a high school boy was obviously trying to hide something, so it was mostly
Amane's fault. He still felt a slight chill run down his spine at being falsely
suspected.
The bookshop wouldn't have sold me that stuff in my school uniform
anyway.
As that strangely logical argument crossed his mind, Mahiru said, "Well,
I did think that it wasn't likely since it's you, Amane."
She seemed to be understanding, so he decided to not share his retort.
"Let me make it clear that I would never buy anything like that… But
out of curiosity, supposing that I had, what then?"
"I would ask you what you were planning to do with stuff you're not
allowed to possess at your age. Not that I don't understand why you'd be
interested, but that's something you shouldn't touch until after you've
graduated high school."
"It's so like you not to say that it's obscene or dirty, Mahiru."
"Well, I might call you a pervert or something."
"I don't have anything like that, so relax already."
"Is that so? Well then, I'm not really sure what we're talking about."
Mahiru cut the conversation off disinterestedly.
Without meaning to, Amane smiled awkwardly. Whether or not he had
anything of the sort in his possession, that had nothing to do with Mahiru.
Neither of them meddled in each other's private life, and as long as they
didn't cause any trouble for the other, they were free to spend their time as
they liked.
I shouldn't have been so worried.
If he had acted normally, Mahiru wouldn't have paid any attention
whatsoever to the photo book. Amane had been the cause of his own
destruction.
Even though he still felt like an idiot, after what Mahiru had said, the
clouds hanging over his head cleared up just a little bit. He felt as though a
weight had lifted off his shoulders.
Whether she knew how Amane was feeling or not, Mahiru pointed at the
sink with an easygoing expression.
"Go on, wash your hands and come inside. Even if you want to look at
that photo book right away, first you need to do your coming-home
routine."
"I know, I know."
Amane made it a habit to wash his hands, gargle, and change his clothes
when he got home, and he was still planning on doing all that, so he
wondered why she had made a point of telling him… As he wondered,
Mahiru glanced away somewhat awkwardly.
"—Um…"
"Hmm?"
"…Could I look at it later?"
She didn't say what she wanted to look at, but he knew perfectly well, so
Amane didn't even try to hide his smile.
"Sure, I don't mind."
"Yay, I thought it was a supercute kitty."
"It sure is."
"Why do you sound so proud…?"
Mahiru seemed a little perplexed, but even so, she didn't make fun of
him. Instead, she smiled at him gently.
Feeling that gentle expression warm his heart, Amane headed to the
sink, somehow in a better mood than he had been in on his way home.
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