章 76: Chapter 4: Confession of Vengeance
[Kurushima Pov]
After running for a good while of more than one hour and twenty-three minutes I could slowly see myself arriving in front of the local electronic store.
"32.4 Kilometers..."
"Haaah..."
Even though I was pretty athletic, more athletic than any person around my age, I couldn't help but try to catch my breath. Running for one hour and twenty-three minutes at an average pace of 23.42 km/h was quite a bit of an exhausting task, even for myself.
That aside, running down the mountains requires great care since it's pretty dangerous out there, but well... I didn't end up memorizing the way for just one minute, so I was mostly aware of the dangerous spots.
This electronic store would be open till 22 p.m., so I still had a bit of time to try to catch some breaths.
I made the mood so awkward in our room when they returned that most of them immediately proceeded to sleep.
Even if they'd end up staying a bit awake, we had to stand up pretty early, around five a.m., so people would naturally go to sleep sooner. I just happened to quicken the process.
"Fifteen minutes until this store closes..."
"I guess it'll take quite the negotiation skills, but I definitely can exchange these. If they had just happened to sleep even sooner... I might have been able to go towards a jewelry store, to exchange this for money, but well... I have to accept this now."
"They're among the best group in which I could disappear outside so I wasn't much worried about anyone noticing my disappearance."
"I also don't think anyone has a reason to open my blanket, so I won't be missed... I suppose."
A bath once I return might be not so bad.
The large one, I meant.
I also wasn't right now wearing my jersey from the school either, but one of my other clothes I decided to bring with me.
My bag surely has quite the space. Aside from my lunchbox and my book, I didn't bring anything else with, for any entertainment purpose.
Some of the boys did, though.
They also took many snacks with them, apparently.
But I couldn't care less about it.
However I also brought with me something extremely 'important' with me. It's something I value immensely much, like the other boys do for their consoles.
Something more important than any of them could ever be—Kaori's necklace.
The thing she had forgotten to take that day with—her platinum necklace locket—it was something I was carrying these past eight years every single day, non-stop.
This necklace meant the whole word to me.
It contains at one part of the locket a picture of Kaori and I—and at the other part of the locket a picture of the rest of our family.
There had to happen some kind of wonder for me to take it off.
Although... during swimming classes... I took it off. Not because I wanted, but because I couldn't risk to lose her necklace.
Other than that—no matter the occasion, I was always carrying with me.
Shaking my head several times I noticed that I was once again preoccupied with my thoughts so I walked slowly towards the local electronic store across the street.
Standing right in front of the door, I pushed it open, entering the store.
"We're closing in ten minutes. Please get what you need fast."
"Of course," I replied swiftly, glancing over the section of the electronic store.
Inside, the store was small and cluttered, filled with various electronic gadgets and accessories, but it was clear that they didn't stock the latest smartphones.
The shelves held older models, some of them refurbished, and a few basic new ones that weren't exactly cutting-edge technology.
It was expected, since this city had just a population of over 20.000 people residing and there was a pretty big electronic store here from one of Japan's leading companies.
I couldn't expect the relative new phones with a touchscreen, but it was something I already expected.
An old phone was more than suitable enough, alongside a number that is valid for around... 6-8 months, or something like that, perhaps.
Taking what I needed from the shelves, a rumored said to-be indestructible phone, a battery charger in case, and a new model of a small radio with a charger... for some strange reasons.
I wanted to listen what happens during my absence outside and I wasn't sure... how often I'd end up calling Aoki.
I figured he'd be pretty disappointed in me after our conversation so I had let it be.
Walking all the way to the counter I put all the items I collected on the table.
"Can I also get any prepaid SIM cards with a long validity period?" I asked the clerk, who seemed to be a bit annoyed that someone had disturbed his peaceful time, but he simply nodded, regardless.
"For how long?" he directly asked me.
"6 months would be ideal."
The clerk looked through a drawer behind the counter and pulled out a card. "This one is a good option. It's $60 and should last you about six months, depending on your usage."
"Okay," I nodded, "I'll take that one."
As he calculated the total I was surprisingly feeling nervous, for the very first time. I couldn't tell why, but I had to succeed.
I had no money on me... but what I had were valuable things that would give you twice as much once you ended up selling them.
Today, was certainly one of the only days I could leave this place, so I had to achieve this now.
I reached into my jacket pockets and pulled out a small velvet pouch containing various pieces of jewelry I had kept hidden: gold necklaces, gold rings, and gold bracelets – all items of significant value.
"Actually," I began hesitantly, "I don't have any money on me. But I have some jewelry I can trade. Would that work?"
I revealed them in front of him open, letting him see them all.
The clerk's eyes widened slightly as he glanced at the items. "Let me take a look."
Inspecting it, he nodded his head, seeing that the items in front of him were authentic.
One of the ways he had tested it was through a magnet. None of the pieces were attracted to the magnet, confirming that they weren't just some base metals or alloys.
Seeing that, he took a Portable Electronic Tester from one of his drawers, testing with it, the purity of the gold for each one of the things I gave him.
As expected, there was no reason to complaint.
"You seem quite desperate. Any special purpose?"
"Not at all."
"I could give you these items for that... But..."
"I want the necklace you carry, too."
As I was processing this information I couldn't help but to release a small laughter, looking at the greedy store clerk deadly in the eyes.
Despite having gotten value from the gold that was three times as much worth as the items have been worth—the greedy store clerk was having the audacity to ask even for more.
And out of all things... he dared to ask for Kaori's necklace...?
Hahaha...
My laughter echoed in the small store, my anger radiating with every breath. I simply looked at him dead in the eyes, my face filled with nothing more than pure anger.
The store clerk slowly began to feel an increase of fear as he and I made eye contact. He couldn't even murmur a word out.
"That necklace—it's worth more than your life. Are you so blind with greed that you ask for even more?"
"Despite the fact that the gold I've given you is worth more than three times what I'm buying, you still have the audacity to demand this necklace?!"
I took a slow step closer to the counter, my presence imposing.
The clerk's eyes widened with a mix of fear and realization. He fumbled with his words, his voice trembling as he tried to regain composure.
"I'm going to take these things I bought with me now. That's going to completely fine, right?"
The clerk swallowed hard, his fear palpable. He nodded vigorously, his face a portrait of anxiety and fear.
"Yes, yes, of course."
I watched him closely, ensuring he was making no sudden moves.
His fear was palpable, and it was clear he understood the gravity of his situation. The clerk swiftly rang up the items, avoiding my gaze.
Once the transaction was completed, I took the bags with the items and turned to leave. The store clerk stood behind the counter, his expression a blend of relief and lingering fear.
But as I stepped out into the cool night air, I couldn't help but frown of how easily I was being angered.
"Haaah..."
"I really went overboard with this..."
"But this necklace..."
"It's one of the few things remaining of Kaori. No matter what happens—I won't ever give this necklace to anyone away."
Opening the necklace locket I could see her infectious smile affecting me in a strange way, again.
I felt like as if it was raining suddenly on my face.
But it wasn't just her smile that affected me like this, but that of mine, too.
"I could smile like this, too, once. But now, everything remaining of that is gone."
A pained smile toggled on my mouth, my teeth bitting my lips, as my eyes moved a gaze to the other picture with that of my family in it, too.
It wasn't big... but... it made me feel sentimental again.
But I immediately closed the locket, before I would be getting more affected than I was.
I walked alone for a couple of minutes alone in the dark night until I decided on taking my newly bought cellphone out of my pockets out.
"It's better time to call... Aoki..."
Slowly... I dialed with my fingers the number of Aoki's phone, pressing the call button.
But I felt anxious in my heart.
What if... he shuns me... for what I did...?
I couldn't help but get these thoughts out of sudden as I heard the beeping sound of the phone right now.
My fingers unconsciously moved towards the ending call button... because of the fear of what my remaining family will think of me.
I was honestly afraid.
My heart was in a complete turmoil right now, thinking of what I should say or do.
"Hello?" But before I could even press it... he accepted the call late at night.
I couldn't answer at all, once I heard his voice.
Silence lingered on the line for a few moments, the sound of his breathing filling the gap. I swallowed hard, trying to find the words, but nothing came out.
"Is there anyone?" he asked, but I could not answer immediately.
Taking a deep breath in and out some words muttered out of my mouth, "Aoki... It's me."
"Young Master...? I thought it isn't possible to contact with school phones the outside...?" His voice was in a mix of surprise once he heard my voice.
"It isn't possible. We're on a... field trip... and I smuggled myself out to the nearest town. But that's not why I'm calling you..."
Taking a deep breath in I was now announcing him what I had done.
"I... I did... it... Aoki. I'm the reason... why Chairman Sakayanagi is in his coma..."
There was a heavy silence on the line, and I could almost hear Aoki trying to process what I had just said.
"I see... Are you okay, young master?"
"I'm... fine, Aoki. I just couldn't... risk it once I knew about the project. Chairman Sakayanagi... he knew about the project... and the person responsible... for their deaths."
"It's a former politician named Ayanokoji Atsuomi. Chairman Sakayanagi has been supporting an illegal facility... experimenting and torturing on children... for the past 21 years."
"They're putting children since birth... in a white facility to raise them into geniuses—depraving them of any rights they have. Something supported by the leading party, the citizen party... or at least those on top of it..."
"They are calling this project... the Human Resource Development Plan... that tortures children, bringing them to the mental edge, installing fear inside them, so that the children there can get fare more education a child can receive and deprives them of everything in a childhood..."
"My father... he wanted to expose this facility... to save those children... but he died alongside Kaori, Kyo, and Mother..."
"All because of—Ayanokoji Atsuomi—who is in charge of this disgusting... facility."
"I... I'm not sure what to do... right now. I want to help them... and make sure Atsuomi Ayanokoji gets what he deserves and even more."
"I feel so much hatred for him in my veins..."
"But I'm not sure if I can do it. If he wakes up... he'll know it. I'm sorry that I'm asking you this... but can you keep an eye of Chairman Sakayanagi's condition?"
"I'm sorry... for involving you in all this. You probably don't want to be associated with a monster like me anymore. I've become now like the person I hate..."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line.
Aoki must see me like this now, too...
Nothing more than a simple monster...
"Young Master, you're not a monster! You never were and never will. You're one of the kindest human beings I know so please don't think of you like this, young master. I'll keep an eye on Chairman Sakayanagi so please don't worry and ease a bit."
"Everything you've done so far—is understandable. Your parents wouldn't want you to think like this. I know I can't stop you from your path... but I'll do my best to support you, no matter what. I just hope... you can lead regardless of what happened, a happy life, young master."
"That's my only wish..."
Hearing Aoki's words my lips began to tremble, and some tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision.
"Thank you. Your support means a lot to me... Aoki. I think it's better for me to head... back. I'll have a long way ahead of me..." I quickly answered, trying to hide my tears to my best core but I felt like Aoki must have noticed what was happening with me.
"Goodbye... Aoki. Have a good night."
"You too, young master. Please take care of yourself in the dark and stay safe."
"I will."
I hung up the call, tears from my face dwelling outside. I was never one to cry much, but I was for so long afraid of Aoki's response to the news.
Afraid of him shunning me...
He was the only family I had left, now...
Seeing that I was overthinking so much... I couldn't help but feel relieved.
"It's time to get back..."
Putting everything I needed in my pockets I ran back to the outdoor school.
--
Waking up through the noise of the speakers installed in our room I couldn't help but feel annoyed.
I arrived here pretty late... twenty minutes before the new days sets on and then went directly showering alone for a good amount of time till the next day.
I was sure that I slept fairly well... but my muscles felt exhausted from running so long in such a consistent pace.
It was definitely quite a challenging task.
While my time definitely was that of a world class athlete when I ran to the electronic store—I was uphills in the mountains, so running downhill was naturally easier.
But the opposite couldn't be said in return. I took me almost around thirty more additional minutes than calculated getting uphill again.
I thought I could pull it off in that same amount of time, plus five to ten or fifteen minutes at most, but perhaps I was getting a bit too arrogant with it.
The mountains had a decent mix of flat terrains and uphill sections so it was quite hard, on getting a consistent pace, due to that.
If I had to say how long I took in total... it'd be around 1 hour and forty-eight minutes.
I was confident on beating various world class runners and their time—but it had to be on the same conditions as them.
It had to be a flat terrain for a marathon, at least.
Pure arrogance was coming out of my mouth... but I never had a particular problem with anything so far.
Hopefully, we don't do anything much of a physical task today.
I can still run decently if asked, but long runs will definitely take quite a toll on me.
Probably—I once again set a new national record for my age—or a world record. But these things have never bothered me much.
Swimming, 100 Meter Sprinting, or a Marathon, itself, I never really cared much about it.
Shaking my head internally, I stretched my arms into the air, not thinking further about this.
Now it was time for the things the special exam has prepared for us so I should focus my attention on that boring part.
Standing as the first one up, despite going as the latest one sleeping, around a quarter past 12 at night I couldn't help but feel a bit... surprised.
Most of them slept longer than me—but were still sleeping.
Then again, I couldn't tell how long they were awake, but did not noticed my absence. When I have gotten back everyone slept.
But well... let's not think about this. It was around six a.m now and they slowly stood up, one after another, in order.
So far we didn't know much what we'd do. Tiring ourselves out or sleeping too less was naturally something our leader Kanzaki didn't want.
Perhaps that's why he compromised on sleeping so early.
I knew the answer of it either way, but unfortunately for Kanzaki, I had decided to object him since the first minute I was in their group.
"Good morning," he said, waking up from his sleep, as one of the later persons.
"Slept well?" I asked, trying to inquire whether he could potentially knew about what I did in the evening or not.
I observed his face, and that of the members of my group, closely, but so far, there was no indication for any of that.
It seems like they didn't know anything as I thought.
"I did. Pretty well, actually. What about you?"
"Likewise."
Leaving a short reply, he did a nod at my direction.
"It's near six a.m, so it's better to head out now."
Even though we'd end up a bit too soon there, it wasn't something any one of them was particularly bothered by.
As every one of us was changing themselves, I waited, once I was finished, just to not appear alone as the first one at our destined location.
I could, but I had no intention of possibly conversing with a teacher for 'small talk'.
As Class D, Kanzaki's class was leading the way, I followed them from behind.
In the past many of them would likely converse with me, but ever since I made it clear to everyone yesterday, I wasn't particularly interested in doing so, they stopped.
But as we headed in one of the classrooms in which our group would be, a total of 40 students approximately, I think, I could see how Kanzaki seems to have accepted my proposal.
The large group, from both the first, second and third year, we ended up meeting in one of the classrooms in which approximately 40-45 people at most suited.
Looking at the person whom I think would win this exam, that very same person smiled at me, having a small grin written on his face. "Kurushima, you don't seem particularly excited."
"Is that so? I guess I'm not. I just want to deal with this special exam fast."
"Why don't you enjoy yourself a bit more. This exam definitely has the one or other surprise ready."
I looked at him in the eyes, knowing what he had planned. "Well... I can't deny that. Its surely going to be interesting for you, it seems."
Noticing what I implied he let a slight excited smile out. "So that's how it is, huh?"
But as I had wanted to reply, the noise of the door opening could be heard with one of the teachers entering the classroom.
"I'm in charge of Class A from the 3rd year. The name's Matsumoto. I'll be performing a rollcall now and then you'll be heading outside and cleaning your designated areas. After that, you'll be cleaning the school building."
"This will be routine every morning. If it rains, you will be exempt from outside cleaning but since that means you'll be spending more time cleaning the school building, it's not like the time for this will decrease."
"And also, regarding lessons from today onwards, it won't be the school's teachers doing the teaching but rather individuals who teach various topics. Don't forget to welcome them properly and act politely."
After that short explanation, our group headed off to do some cleaning.
--
The teacher escorted us to one of the rooms after we ended up finishing cleaning. But since it was quite spacious, you could guess it'd be not just us alone in the room, but with another group, most likely.
It didn't mind me that much, but it'd certainly become bothersome. However, I would try on ignoring them as much as possible.
"Starting from today, this will be where you practice Zazen in the morning and in the evening." he said, with most of the people here nodding.
I looked nonchalantly somewhere else since Zazen is something that I had done quite often, so I didn't necessarily need to pay attention for that.
I'd do my task, once it was instructed.
"Are you that disinterested in Zazen, Kurushima?" the teacher's voice cut through my thoughts.
His eyes locked onto me, expecting me to feel embarrassed about this or anything, but that wasn't the case.
I met his gaze with a disinterested shrug. "Not particularly. I've done Zazen plenty of times before. I don't see why I need to act like it's something new and listen carefully."
The teacher's eyes narrowed, his face hardening with disapproval. "Is that so? Well, here, we expect every student to approach every task with seriousness, regardless of their past experience. Your dismissive attitude won't be tolerated."
I raised an eyebrow, unfazed by his reprimand. "Sure, whatever. But don't expect me to be overly enthusiastic about something I've been doing for years."
The teacher's expression darkened. "It's not about enthusiasm. It's about respect and discipline. Your attitude right now is far from acceptable. If you think you can just breeze through without engaging properly, you're in for a rude awakening."
I shrugged again, uninterested in his lecture. "I'll keep that in mind," I said, my tone flat.
The teacher's face reddened slightly with frustration, but he turned away, clearly displeased with my response.
But there was nothing he could do.
The groups each took their seats slowly and we received a simple explanation in this very room.
In this place, known as a Zazendo, we need to ball our fist, be it the left or the right one, and clutch it with the other hand at all times, whether we're walking or standing.
And we'll need to keep it at around the height of our solar plexus. It's a stance known as Shasyu.
Depending on which school we're talking about, you may need to use a specific hand to do the clutching but those schools and the such probably don't apply here
But Zazen is nothing more than a form of meditation.
Practicing Zazen isn't about emptying your head but rather forming an image. That there's something known as the Ten Bulls that act as a method through which the image is visualized.
It's a series of ten illustrations that depict the road to Zen enlightenment.
"After you sit cross-legged, place your legs on top of your thighs. Since the exam's outcome also depends on how well you can perform the lotus position, make sure you do the best you can."
The man in charge demonstrated it himself to give us a sample of that too.
It wasn't something particularly difficult so I performed it easily, without any single mistake on my part.
I closed my eyes and visually imagined the Ten Bulls in my mind.
Hearing the sound steps of the teacher in the room I could tell he was just searching for a mistake from me, but unfortunately for him, I wasn't making any.
He had helped some of the other students with adjusting perfectly the Zazen, hitting them with the keisaku (a flat wooden stick) on the shoulder to help them maintain focus and a correct posture during meditation.
Hearing his footsteps now being near my seat I couldn't help but wonder if his ego was that fragile for him to use this chance called to hit me with the flat stick.
"Kurushima, you may think you've mastered this, but there's always room for improvement. Arrogance has no place here," he said in a low, controlled tone.
I could feel the rush of air before the keisaku descended. My left hand shot up, catching the flat wooden stick before it could make contact with my shoulder.
Opening my eyes I couldn't help but stare at him with a deadly look.
He was surprised upon this, but before he could say anything, my pupils moved on a very different location: the camera in the room.
Naturally, since he was supervising a group of more than forty people, he couldn't end up noticing the progress of every single student present here and grade them, especially, since this lesson right here was only taking about five minutes.
A camera was needed, to properly evaluate the students and their posture.
I looked at him again, my eyes telling him everything he needed to know.
'If you hit me under any pretext other than correcting my posture or ensuring discipline, you can be certain the school will be very interested in hearing about it.'
He slowly took his flat wooden stick out of my hand, and I closed my eyes, going back at my Zazen posture.
I was fine accepting the punishment of the flat wooden stick if my posture wasn't correctly or if I wasn't focused, but if he did it not for that solemn reason, I was much against it.
Especially, for his fragile ego.
It was easily to tell he was usurping his authority, hitting me in the pretext of teaching us students discipline with Zazen to assert his control.
No one fortunately had seen this for him and I doubted anyone did it either, since I was happening on sitting at the last row.
Most people here had not made a mistake, so they did not open their eyes, naturally.
For the next five minutes the Zazen continued, with nothing much happening.
Normally, the Zazen lessons wouldn't be so quick over, but since the explanation took quite the long time in the beginning, Zazen was only around five minutes long.
Most of us stood up, and I slowly began to recognize the teacher again when I looked at his face.
I had not a good memory of irrelevant people but he was the person reprimanding me yesterday not to eat in the gymnasium when our groups were decided.
It wasn't something forbidden in any sense so I had continued of eating regardless.
I see...
So that's why he seemed to be so particularly bothered by me.
He is leading Horikita Manabu's so-called elite class. It figures that he would be overly concerned with every little infraction, especially if it disrupts his rigid sense of order.
That clears things up.
But truthfully, it couldn't bother me less.
Now that it's 7 o'clock it's time for breakfast, it seems.
I've been getting quite hungry, after yesterday.
Especially, since I ate in the cafeteria only half of the meal and I ran that much.
Finally, it's time.
--
A/N: And this concludes the chapter.
I hope you liked it. There's not much progress so far in the special exam, but Kurushima got a cellphone, after a long time now.
Please tell me how you liked this chapter.
And whether you like how Kurushima is right now or not?
It's pretty nice to write him like this, since he's not being the 'good boy' anymore.
Would appreciate to hear it.
Anyhow, I've nothing much more to say, I guess.
I'll be uploading the chapter at the same time on Wattpad, too, so it's always here quite evenly matched.
If you have any questions please feel free to ask.
Well, that's all.
Also, I'm not sure if anyone is reading my other fanfic, the sword art online one, but I'm uploading another chapter there too, so for anyone that is interested, you're free to check it out.
That's all and I can say, it's just over 7 days now since my last upload, unlike the last few, that were all within an interval of two weeks.
I'm quite excited since Y2V12 is being released/translated soon, too.
Have a great day.
I hope you liked this chapter.
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