章 17: •Chapter Seventeen•
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Elena was anxious. More than anxious. Terrified.
Maybe Elena wasn't entirely honest with Billy. And she cursed herself in her mind that she hadn't told him earlier, because this could potentially break them up and now they were living together. And she didn't want him to move back to his father. He seemed so happy and relaxed with her.
"Bye, I'll see you tomorrow!" Elena smiled at her coworker before she left the bar. Yes, she had a job now, somehow she had to manage school and a job by her side at the same time. Because someone has to bring food on the table, luckily she didn't have to worry about rent because her father had bought the house when they came here. But it was still though, with work and school but Billy and Elena would manage, besides that they had Joyce and Hopper who would always help them if they needed something.
She drove home, her hand anxiously tapping against the steering wheel as she drove. She had to talk to Billy before it gets even deeper. And she dreaded this talk. It wouldn't be the first time someone had broken up with her about it. And each time it broke her even more. Because she knew it was and And she hated herself for it.
"Hey baby." Billy greeted with a smile when Elena entered the home, seeing her boyfriend with Max' head sleeping in his lap and her sister sleeping with her head on Max' thigh. Elena had to smile. Billy was a good man, and she knew this when she saw him the first time and the way he acted with her and his family only proved her point.
Billy carefully replaced his thigh with a pillow before he stood up. He followed her into the kitchen where she fell into a chair, clearly exhausted. It made him frown. He knew it was wearing her out, having two teenagers in her home trying to take care of them and having to work and have school. "I love you." Billy smiled as he bent down, pressing a kiss onto her lips before warming up the food he had made. "I love you too." Elena muttered.
Billy had a half time job, while Elena had a full time job at night as a bartender. Because someone had to make the girls dinner and pick them up from school, driving them somewhere and basically not neglect them. And somehow the stereotypical gender roles have switched between them but honestly neither of them cared.
"What's wrong?" Billy sighed as he put a plate of food down in front of her, sitting down across of her, his hand finding his way on her thigh, squeezing it slightly. Elena sighed, shaking her head and started eating. "You're an amazing cook, you know that, Right?" Elena said as she looked at Billy and she could see a faint blush on his tan face, which made her smile.
She loved this boy so much. And she was terrified of losing him over that. But what was she supposed to do? Pretending that everything was normal, making her feel like shit and not enjoy this relationship?
Once again her eyes teared up and Billy noticed. He knew that something was wrong with her. "You can talk to me if something's wrong, Elena. I'm your boyfriend." Billy said softly, while looking at her. "I know, it's just stupid." Elena sniffled, wiping away the tears that had escaped her eyes. "It's not stupid if it makes you cry." He sighed as he stood up, walking behind her chair and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling his face into her neck. "It's not stupid if it makes you cry Elena, and if you don't want to talk about that's fine too, just tell me a name and I'll take care of it." Elena had to laugh. God, this boy could always make her laugh in the saddest moments.
After Elena had finished eating and Billy carried the girls back to their room, he returned to Elena. "You know, Max was really sad today. She missed her mom. She was crying and I felt so bad so I carried her out of her room in a burrito blanket and laid on the couch with her, trying to comfort her. And it actually worked! And the we ended up as three people, laughing at some stupid cartoon." Billy smiled brightly as he thought back. If someone had told him 4 months ago that he'd be this close to his sister he would've laughed and then punched him.
It was 1am and Elena and Billy stood in the kitchen, a cold beer in Billy's hand and a glass of wine in Elena's. And they almost looked like an old couple, and honestly that's what they felt like. It didn't actually feel like 4 1/2 months of relationship, it felt like 12 years.
Either she talks now or it'll hurt more if he leaves, so Elena sighed, collecting all her fake courage from the alcohol she had drank. "We need to talk, Billy." Elena said, her voice slightly shaking as she leaned against the counter top in her kitchen. Billy was confused but soon his eyes started to get teary. "Oh god, this is the breakup talk isn't it? You finally saw that I was hopeless and not enough, you know I understand—" "Billy!" She interrupted as she walked up to the boy who looked so sad, so broken as if she had just beat the living shit out of him. "It's not the breakup talk." She reassured, cupping his face with a sad smile. She hated it when he talked so bad about himself. "I still love you insanely." She laughed before she kissed the boy. "Thank god! I was about to have a mental breakdown." Billy chuckled, wiping away the tears that were about to escape.
"We need to talk about me and how that might affect us." Elena said, anxiously starting to bite her nails. And Billy knew that this was one of her nervous habits. "You know nothing will affect us—" "But that will, most likely!" She said louder and harsher than she intended to, making him flinch. "Did you cheat on me?" Billy asked, already preparing for the worst. "No, God Billy!" "Did you catch feelings for someone else?" "Billy—" "Did you—" "I'm not interested in sex! I don't like sex!" Elena bursted out as she looked at Billy who grew quiet suddenly.
Elena's eyes teared up and she didn't care when they fell down her face and Billy sat down. "It has nothing to do with you. I still think you're to most attractive human being I've ever seen, but—" "You're asexual." Billy interrupted, looking at his girlfriend.
Of course it was a hard blow for Billy. Billy always had a sexual desire and finding out his girlfriend had was hard.
"Asexual?" She asked confused as she looked at him, tilting her head. "Asexuals don't like sex or it's not their first priority. Depends on the person." Billy said and now tears of happiness were running down her face. Because she finally knew that she insane. And that was actually a thing. "How do you know all that?" Elena sobbed as she looked at her boyfriend who still seemed in shock from her confession. "I grew up in San Francisco. There are a bunch of people who aren't straight."
It grew quiet between them. "If you want to break up with me that's okay." Elena said, her head hung low as she twirled the glass between her fingers. He sighed, before he reached out, pulling her at her hips towards him, sitting her down on his lap. "I'm not going to break up with you, not because of this." Billy said, as he tucked a string of her hair behind her ear.
Elena sighed as she made a hard decision, but maybe this would save their relationship from eventually falling apart. "We can have an open relationship if you want? You could enjoy yourself and maybe it wouldn't affect our relationship." Billy looked at her like she was insane. "I'm not going to have sex with someone else just because you're not interested in it, Elena. Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship." Billy said, sighing as she laid her head down onto his shoulder, putting the glass on the table.
"How did you find out you weren't into sex?" Billy asked as he let his fingers roam over her upper arm. "I had my very first relationship, back in Serbia. And of course we had sex after awhile, I just seemed not to enjoy it. For me it didn't feel good and I felt disgusting afterwards. But maybe that disgusting feeling came because his hygiene was more than gone." She laughed slightly. "And after awhile I broke up with him, even though I liked him but this whole sex thing led me to believe differently. And I even had sex with girls because I thought maybe I'm just not attracted to guys sexually. But it was the same. So I just thought this whole time that I was different and weird and not normal." She sighed, letting her fingertips play with his curls.
"The offer still stands, with the, You know, open relationship." Elena said after they were once again engulfed in silence. "Elena." He sighed, looking at his girlfriend. She looked sad. And he knew why, because no one wanted to share their loved one with someone else. "I love you so much, you honestly don't even know. Every time you're in my sight it almost seems like everything is just perfect and I have no problems. And now we live together and I couldn't be happier, seeing you everyday, holding you, and just waking up by your side makes me the happiest man on earth." Both of them had teary eyes as they looked at each other. Elena because she knew the boy was sincere and Billy because he couldn't believe that Elena thought that he'd go to someone else. "And I love you. I love you, you hear me? I'd never go to someone else, I'd never have sex with anybody else. I know my right hand can do the job." Both of them laughed and Elena sniffled before Billy continued. "And we can make this work somehow. We can make compromises, this is what you do in a relationship. I sacrifice things and you do the same. I won't ever pressure you to anything, I swear on my life. Everything we do in the bedroom is handled by your decisions." He said smiling softly at her making her even more of a soft mess for him. "I love you so much. And I waited 4 months for you, it won't hurt if I wait more."
"I love you so much, god you don't even know." Elena sniffled as she hugged Billy tightly making him chuckle. "I love you too." He smiled, pressing a kiss onto the crook of her neck.
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