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63.7% Desolate Fate / Chapter 272: Draught, Famine, Sickness

章 272: Draught, Famine, Sickness

People often took the rain for granted. No, in fact, people often cursed the rain, calling it 'bad weather', saying that it ruined an otherwise pleasant day.

People took the rain for granted, until the rain disappeared.

Recently, the rain had been appearing less and less frequently with each passing year. Even so, it had never been a serious problem…until now.

The last time that it rained was on the day of Bear's funeral. The rain on that day was cursed by many people…

But then, the rain stopped.

After six months with no rain, Tiger died. On the day of his funeral, the ground was so dry that it took a dozen hunters all day just to dig his grave. They were so exhausted by the end of the day that they barely managed to remain standing for the duration of the funeral.

The months continued to fly by. For the first time in Namuh Village's history, a full year passed by without any rain.

The year's crops completely failed. The streams in the nearby forest started to dry up, many vanished entirely. With fewer sources of water, the ecology began to shift. Many animals migrated towards the few remaining bodies of water.

Nobody could have predicted this, and the village was not prepared to deal with such a situation. Village meeting after village meeting was called, wherein the influential figures in the village gathered together in an attempt to resolve their difficulties. Des also attended these meetings, but there wasn't much he could do to help, other than lowering the prices of his medical services to help the less affluent villagers.

Des was now a capable doctor, but his medicines couldn't treat hunger and thirst…

Thirst was a problem, but it was not the main issue. There were still some bodies of water remaining, such as the river four miles out from the village, which was too large to dry up entirely. The hunters were tasked with escorting large groups of people out to the river everyday, where they would all collect the water in buckets to bring back to the village.

Water was a small problem, but they could deal with this issue. At least, nobody was going to die from dehydration any time soon.

No, the main problem was food.

Namuh Village relied on three sources of food; food that was farmed, food that was gathered, and food that was hunted.

This year, they completely lost their supply of farmed food. Without any rain, the crops all failed to produce any harvest. This was a huge hit to the farmers in Namuh Plains, who relied on their yearly harvest to support themselves throughout the following year.

Efforts were established to support those farmers, but the issue went much deeper than just this. Without any farmed food, the village was now relying entirely on food that was hunted and gathered…

Winter was coming, yet their food stores were barely one fifth of what they usually were.

Even though they had doubled down their efforts on hunting and gathering throughout the summer, not only did they fail to build up their food stores, they actually depleted their food stores even further. This had never happened before, not once throughout the village's entire recorded history.

The village was unprepared and ill-equipped to deal with draught and famine. Eventually, as food prices soared and the poor became unable to afford to eat, the village council was forced to step in and take control.

Their temporary solution was to ration all food, such that each person could only eat two meals each day. As for how much food they were allowed to buy for themselves, that varied depending on a few factors.

Obviously, adults needed more food than children, but at the same time, everyone agreed that they could not let the children go hungry. If the children went hungry, they would not grow and they would fall ill. For the sake of the village's future, it was essential for the children to eat.

Children were given enough food to eat two full meals each day, which was just barely enough to support their growth. Adults were only permitted enough food to survive without falling ill…they almost all went hungry.

The hunters were allowed more food, as the hunters needed to continue training, plus their jobs were more strenuous. If the hunters were allowed to weaken, the village would be doomed and the situation would collapse entirely.

In a way, this rationing of food brought the people closer together. With this shared difficulty, the difference between the rich and the poor became less obvious. Now, even if you had enough money, you still couldn't buy enough food to fill your stomach…it was a pitiful situation, but there was some beauty to be found in the peoples' unity.

It reminded Des of something Flora had once said when they were young…that all people in this world suffered in one way or another. Rich or poor, old or young, strong or weak…no matter your status, you were destined to suffer, because suffering was an inherent quality of life itself.

When Des mentioned this to Flora nostalgically, she sighed deeply. She remembered saying this, because it was a realisation that she came to understand after seeing Des…or rather, Yaan…for the first time.

Even an immortal was shackled by the chains of suffering. In fact, based on Des's incomprehensible tolerance for pain, she knew that his life before Namuh Village must have been filled with far more suffering than she could possibly imagine.

"It's true that all life suffers, but that suffering ties us together, remember?" Flora smiled at Des softly as she reminded him about the positive side of her realisation.

Des glanced at his wife through his hazy vision, causing him to sigh deeply.

He could not see her, but he knew that she had lost weight. They were both giving up a portion of their food rations to allow Shi to eat her fill. They absolutely refused to allow her to go hungry for a single day.

"Even if we are tied together, what good does that do us? We are all suffering together, how great for us…" Des muttered wryly.

"Oh come on, it's not like you to be so pessimistic!" Flora laughed, trying to lighten his mood. "I think that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing, you know…without these harsh times, how would we be able to recognise and relish the good times? These difficult storms exist because they allow us to see the beauty in the sky when the rain clears away!"

"That's a terrible metaphor, given our current situation." Des couldn't help but laugh, knowing that she had phrased it like that deliberately.

He would welcome a storm right now. If it started to rain, that would truly be beautiful…when he thought of this, Des thought that perhaps Flora was right.

"Hopefully those good times will come soon…" He muttered, shaking his head as he looked out of the window at nothing in particular.

"Uncle, auntie!" At this moment, Shi ran into the house with an excited expression. As always, she addressed Des as 'uncle' and Flora as 'auntie'. A few months ago, she had tried to address them as 'father' and 'mother', but they didn't feel right about this…they did not want Shi to forget about her actual parents, even though they had both left this world.

Shi ran across the hallway and into the kitchen, then pushed her hands out towards Des's face. Clearly, she was trying to show him something, but…he was blind.

It wasn't like Shi to act so excited these days. After Tiger's death, she began speaking normally again, but part of her had matured.

She no longer tried to keep everything bottled up, she expressed her emotions openly, especially to Des and Flora…but she was not that same excitable little child any longer; she was starting to grow up.

So, Des felt surprised to hear her acting like this. Just what had gotten her so worked up?

"Oh? It's a toad." Flora commented, mostly for Des's benefit.

"A toad?" Des raised an eyebrow in surprise. This was a very unusual find given that there were no open bodies of water within a few miles of here. Just what was a toad doing in the village?

"Wait, you didn't go into the forest, did you, Shi?"

Shi immediately shook her head.

"No way! I know the forest is dangerous…even my father wasn't safe in the forest…"

Des relaxed and nodded. He knew that even though Shi was a curious, adventurous girl, she was actually quite terrified of the forest, since it was where her father had died.

"I found it in the herb patch in the garden! Uncle, I know you're hungry, you must be because you hardly eat anything! Let's eat this toad, let's eat it!"

Des's expression softened and he reached out to pat Shi on the head. She giggled happily, feeling like she had done something good. Even though she was young, she knew that the village had a food shortage. When she saw her uncle and auntie eating so little, even though they never complained about it, she knew that they would definitely prefer to eat more!

"Let's take the toad to the market later." Des suggested. "We need to hand it over to the council so that it can be processed and added to the stores."

Flora agreed, saying that he and Shi should go together. However, Shi was confused…why did they have to give away the food that she had found?!

Des explained to her that everyone needed to do their part to help the village. They couldn't eat more than their share, because doing so would result in others having less food.

It would be easy enough for Des and Flora to obtain more food for themselves if they wanted to. They often treated rich individuals with authority on the village council; it wouldn't be difficult for Des to use his position as the village's core doctor to extort more food.

But, they wouldn't do that. Both Des and Flora were willing to go hungry if it meant helping others. So long as Shi's stomach was full, they would never stoop so low.

If the situation devolved to the point that Shi could not eat her fill, even after they gave up a portion of their own rations…

At that point, the situation would already be too dire to even think about.

As time passed by, the situation in Namuh Village became truly dire.

After a year without rain, the village entered its most difficult winter to date. Their food stores were insufficient, the forest animals had gone into hibernation and there were no fruits or nuts to gather in the forest at this time of year. Not only that, but Origin Berries were becoming increasingly scarce, making it difficult for the hunters to continue training…

The village seemed to fall dormant during these winter months. Nobody had the energy to go outside and do anything. Besides, without enough energy to fuel their bodies, it also became extremely difficult to resist the cold.

Des, Flora and Shi found themselves huddled together beside the fireplace almost every single day. Des and Flora wrapped a blanket around themselves, placing Shi between them. They often stayed like this whilst remaining silent for the entire day as they struggled to keep warm and conserve their energy. Their bodies were weak, their stomachs were empty, but at least they had the warmth of one another to get them through these harsh cold days.

Finally, they made it through winter. By coming together as a community, even though many people went hungry, nobody died from starvation.

That said, Des knew that this achievement wasn't as great as it seemed on the surface. Even though nobody had directly died from starvation, the mortality rate amongst the elderly had nearly doubled. Without food, their bodies lacked the energy to stave off illness and weakness. As such, many people lost beloved family members during this winter.

The winter was cold, but there was no rain. Spring came around, but unlike last year, the usual flowers and vibrant grasses did not bloom…the temperature rose, but the plants did not. Without water, life could not thrive.

The temperature continued to rise during spring, until it became as hot as the typical summer months. By the time summer arrived, the temperature was so hot that people began collapsing from heatstroke. Des once again found himself extremely busy; the number of patients that he had to treat was increasing with every passing month.

In the high heat, people needed to cool off, but there was nowhere to do so. In these heats, they needed to drink plenty of water, but their only water source was a single well on Namuh Plains, and the almost-dried-up river, five miles away from the village. Water was being rationed, and by now, people were not drinking enough.

The people held onto their hope last year, but as the months flew by and nothing improved, despair began to set in. They adjusted to the pain and discomfort, but when there was no hope in sight, some people began to break.

The united village became split. There were those who stayed firm in their wills, adamant about sticking together. Then there were those who started to lose their compassion…

Their consideration for others had died along with their family members. The kindness in their hearts had been whittled away by their endless hunger. Their will to stay united and strong had been broken down by their collapsing hope, replaced by a single desire…

To survive.

All life desired to survive. People could endure hardships up to a point, but eventually, when those hardships started to threaten their lives, many people were unable to continue simply enduring.

Instances of crime became ten times more frequent. Homes were broken into, food was stolen. The ration laws were broken as corrupt officials gave in to bribery.

Not everyone fell into depravity, in fact, four fifths of the population stood by their principles. But…when one fifth of a population stopped caring for law and order, society would begin to crumble.

Eventually, the people realised that this could not go on. In order to combat the growing dissent across the village, the village council could only choose to steel their resolve, becoming unwavering in their judgment.

For the first time ever, a person was executed in Namuh Village. This person was guilty of murder. Even though he killed by mistake whilst trying to steal food to feed his starving children, the law could no longer afford to be lenient.

From now on, all crimes pertaining to food theft would be punished by death. Indeed, now, stealing food was a crime worthy of death!

In the current climate, stealing a person's meal could be as good as killing them anyway.

Des, Flora and Shi did not attend the public execution. They did not want to see one of their fellow villager's killing another. They did not agree with the introduction of the death penalty, but at the same time, it was difficult to argue against it.

The public execution achieved what it set out to do; the dissent within the village was largely suppressed. Some hunters were now in charge of capturing criminals, causing the people to feel too afraid to continue breaking the law.

The unrest was quelled, but the famine was not. As time passed by and the sky continued to remain devoid of any clouds, the situation became increasingly bleak.

One year…two years…three years…

Five years went by without rain.

Des was now 43 years old, but he looked far older. Flora was no different, as a 45 year old woman who had not eaten well in years, time was beginning to catch up with her.

Only Shi looked her age. She was an 11 year old girl, and she now understood the sacrifices that her uncle and auntie had made for her. She used to argue with them, trying to give them a portion of her food, until she realised that if she refused to eat, then so would they.

The only thing she could do to help them, was to live well for herself.

Aside from that, she also made an effort to help out as much as possible around the house and the hospital. She took care of many tasks, such as visiting town and buying herbs…unfortunately, without the rain, the supply of herbs had dwindled to a pitiful level. Medicines that were previously cheap and common, were now completely extinct.

Even Des's own herb patch had finally lost its last remaining signs of life. He managed to sustain it for an impressive length of time by having people fetch water from the river outside of the village, but in the end, his prized herb patch still fell victim to the draught.

Des felt frustrated when he saw people dying from easily curable illnesses, but there was nothing that he could do. They simply no longer possessed the necessary medicines to treat these ailments.

When Des had first arrived in the village, the population was 1,458…1,459 with his arrival.

Following the hospital's expansion, the quality of medical care in the village skyrocketed, resulting in a population boom. In a short few decades, the population went over 2,000, this was simply unheard of!

But now, there were fewer than 1,000 people…as for the exact number of survivors, nobody had the heart to count…

Life was difficult, but Des tried to remain optimistic. At the very least, he still had his family, right?

Although they were hungry, Des and Flora were still healthy. Their adopted niece, Shi, had been risen well by them, and now, she was growing up into a fine young woman. And then there was Fauna, her husband Snake, and their two sons, Panther and Lion, who had both married and were working on starting their own families.

The love and support that they all provided to one another helped them to get through these hard times. Their stomachs may be in pain and their bodies may be weak, but their hearts remained filled with love and strength.

Indeed, although it was difficult, it was still life. These hardships they endured, this pain they suffered, reminded them of the value to be found in life. Life was so fragile and could end in an instant, but it was for this exact reason that it was so beautiful.

But as time passed by, it became increasingly difficult to see the beauty through the fog of suffering…

Des remained optimistic…until one day, Flora collapsed.

"Auntie!" Shi cried out in shock, rushing to Flora's side as she struggled to sit up. Flora smiled at Shi and opened her mouth to assure her that she was ok, but before she could speak, her eyes rolled back and she passed out.

Des quickly crouched down beside Flora, not hesitating to measure her vitals. He knew that his wife had been pushing herself these days, but it was only when she suddenly collapsed that he realised just how much she had deteriorated.

Des could 'see' the struggle in her aura, but because of Flora's firm will, which allowed her to push herself until the point of breaking, he only now realised…that her health was fading away…

A few days later, Flora finally woke up. Des did not take her to the hospital, but instead made her comfortable in her own bed.

"Auntie, you're awake!" Shi awoke and jumped up from the wooden chair beside Flora's bed. She had been sleeping on this chair for the past few days, and no matter what Des tried to tell her, she refused to leave the room for more than a few minutes. She was simply too worried about her auntie.

Des tried to act calm, but he was also relieved to see her wake up. He needed to put on a strong face for Shi's sake, but how could he not feel anxious?

After examining Flora's condition, he wasn't even certain that she would be able to wake up…

She had developed a certain illness due to her malnourishment. In usual times, this illness would be easily treatable. All she needed was a few days of rest, a particular medicine, and plenty of food and water.

Unfortunately, as of now, she was only able to rest. There was not enough food and water for her, and the medicine…no longer existed.

The herbs for the medicine that she required, had gone extinct. Des did his best to treat her with other medicines, but they were clearly subpar.

After Flora woke up, Des tended to her, day and night. He insisted that she ate a portion of his food, and for the first time, he allowed Shi to give up part of her rations. At first, Flora refused, but after seeing the worry in her husband and niece's eyes, she could only accept their generosity with a sigh.

Gradually, Flora's condition began to improve. After another few days, she was able to get up and walk again, however, she was clearly struggling and weakness filled her body. She became visibly and audibly out of breath whenever she walked for more than a few steps, and this state of hers did not improve, even after a few weeks, and then months passed by.

Flora was no longer able to work. She had enjoyed her work around the hospital, and now that she was bed-ridden for much of the day, Des felt worried that she would grow depressed. However, it seemed that he had underestimated his wife's tenacity.

Despite her weakness, despite her sickness, despite her pain…everyday, Flora wore a smile on her face. She spoke softly to Shi and kindly to Des. Her mood never seemed to sour, despite the obvious difficulties that she was facing.

After one year, Des sat beside Flora's bed, holding her hand and gazing at her sickly face with a pained expression.

"Flora, do you need anything else? If you want to eat more, please just say so…"

"Oh you, stop worrying so much." Flora chuckled and shook her head. "Why waste so much food on a dying old woman?"

"Don't say that…you're neither old nor dying…" Des replied bitterly. He knew that she was joking, but given her condition, this joke was far too morbid. Her sense of humour had always been like this, but he didn't expect her to remain so carefree, even as her life was steadily fading away…

Flora turned to look at Des's face. Seeing his earnest concern for her, she felt a deep sense of warmth in her heart. She felt blessed to have lived the life that she had lived, with this incredible man accompanying her by her side.

"I might not be dying right now, but…it's quite likely that I will die before you." She suddenly said.

Des looked up, turning to her with a startled expression. He frowned and was about to refute her, but the words became trapped in his mouth when she spoke once again. Her tone…was oddly serious.

"After I die, I want you to move on with your life…but please, don't forget about me. Move on to the next stage in your life, but remember the times we spent together…remember the times the three of us spent as a family…"

Des didn't see how he could possibly move on if she died, but for some reason, he found that he was unable to say anything in response.


章 273: A Desolate Death

As the months flew by, Flora's condition did not improve…

As the years flew by, her state gradually became worse and worse.

There had been no rain for ten years. The forest was beginning to wither and died, as the underground deposits of water had finally dried up. The wells within the village had long since become useless dry pits, and now, the only source of water for miles around was a thin stream five miles from the village.

Farming had become impossible, and wild animals were a rare find. There was practically no food…the villagers were dying off, one by one.

Many people had given up, they could not see any hope for a better tomorrow. All they were able to do was survive, eating grass roots when they were lucky, but more often settling for tree bark and sometimes even dirt. It was not nutritious, it was not healthy, but it was all they could do to quell the endless pain in their stomachs.

In a situation like this, Des was unable to nurse Flora back to good health. There were no more rations, only starving people wandering through the sparsely populated village, which had become akin to a ghost town, as they searched for scraps of food amongst the barrenness and death.

People hardly possessed the energy to talk anymore, all they could do was search for food. Only a couple of hundred people remained in the village by now, and they were mostly the sick and elderly. Almost everyone had given up on the village and set out into the unknown outside world after realising that this place…was no longer habitable.

Des and Shi would have also left, but they knew that Flora would be unable to endure the journey. Flora tried to convince them to leave and search for a better place, but they were both adamant, refusing to go.

Eventually, even Fauna and her family left. By now, Des, Shi and Flora…only had each other.

One day, Flora stopped eating.

It had been five years since she first collapsed and became extremely ill.

Since then, she had watched the people she knew and cared for die…she had watched the village fall into a desperate state…she had watched when one year ago, her sister hugged her, saying her tearful goodbyes, as she was forced to leave with her family in search of a better place…

And now, Flora realised that she was holding her own family back. When she came to this realisation, once she realised that Des and Shi would only leave the village once she was dead.…she decided that it was time for her life to end.

"Flora, please eat…" Des practically begged his malnourished wife, pushing a spoon of grassroot soup against her mouth. He felt a rising sense of anxiety as he watched the aura of death around her body grow stronger by the second.

Recently, Des's hair had turned grey, even though he wasn't even 50 years old. The wrinkles on his face were deep, and he seemed to hold an unending look of worry in his aged eyes.

He had never felt this way before…even when his auntie and uncle died, he did not feel so uneasy, so restless, so desperate!

Was it because he loved his wife more than them? Or was it because he felt that she was too young to die? Or perhaps, he just couldn't stand to see her give up her life for his sake…

Shi stood on the other side of Flora's bed. She bit her lip as she watched her auntie, who was now all skin and bones, gradually becoming weaker and weaker. She tried to hold back her tears, but she was unable to do so. This led to her standing stiffly, unable to move, unable to find the words, as Des tightly grasped Flora's hand.

"Des…it's ok…I lived for long enough..I lived a fulfilling life…I have no regrets, to die here with my beloved family…"

Her voice was weak and dry, her skin was pale and cracked, but her smile was as radiant as ever.

Flora was not an ordinary woman. She had never been an ordinary girl. She saw through the suffering of life, yet she did not find it cruel. She saw the beauty in pain. She saw the value in a temporary life…she was not averse to death.

"Flora, if you eat, you'll…" Des trailed off, the words getting caught in his throat as he noticed something. He became choked up, unable to continue speaking.

Flora smiled and laughed gently.

"I know you can see it, husband…you can see that I am destined for death…don't feel sad, my love, this is simply the way of life…this is just…fate…"

Des froze in place.

Perhaps, if he had not heard that word…that one, hateful word…then he might have remained in this illusion, up until the moment of his death. Perhaps, had Flora not spoken that word by pure chance, then he would have died believing that he was a mortal. Perhaps, if Flora hadn't uttered that word, the word that had haunted Yaan throughout his life, then he would have remained as Des, leaving this village with Shi in search of a better place…

But she said that word.

The haze in his eyes vanished.

The wrinkles across his skin rapidly smoothed out, revealing his pristine, pale, doll-like appearance, the unblemished appearance that he had maintained for hundreds of years.

His hair turned from grey to black and his body shrunk, returning to the state of a 12 year old child.

Before Flora and Shi's stunned eyes, Des disappeared…and Yaan returned.

The anxiety vanished from Yaan's eyes, replaced by a calm clarity. The nervousness and unease that he had previously felt towards Flora's impending demise vanished…but not because he no longer cared.

Yaan had returned, but he was no longer the same, ruthless demon that he once was. He no longer cared about pursuing cultivation, about fighting and killing, about searching for the truth. He entered this mortal illusion because he was searching for a way to spend his final years, and he had found exactly what he was looking for. Even after regaining his memories, even though he had restored his ancient heart and his unmovable will, he wished to continue living with this family of his, just as he had been doing until now…even if it would not be the same as before.

He faced Flora with a serene expression, even though he felt endless pain in his heart. His unease had gone, because he now had the means to save her…but the pain he felt, towards this life, towards suffering, towards his pitiful wife…this pain did not fade.

In fact, after his memories returned, the pain in his heart became countless times stronger.

"Don't worry, I'll treat you now." Yaan spoke calmly, his words filled with an authoritative presence that Des had lacked. He reached towards his spatial ring, intending to retrieve some medicines that would allow Flora to recover instantly. However, she reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling his arm away from the ring.

"Don't."

Yaan stared at her silently for a while, his expression remaining unchanged.

"Do you doubt that I can save you? It will take me no effort at all. You can recover instantly and live a full, healthy life. We can leave this place, all three of us. I can teach you both cultivation, you can live longer lives than would otherwise be possible, you-"

"Do you remember when we first met?" Flora suddenly interrupted him. Yaan stopped and stared at her silently for a moment.

She was still smiling as before, but for some reason, an overwhelming sadness now filled her gaze. A single tear fell from her reddened eyes, before she continued speaking, not waiting for Yaan to respond.

"When we first met, you were filled with anger, hatred, despair…and so, so much pain…the look in your eyes back then truly shocked me. I could not understand how one living being could possibly feel so much pain…"

Flora sighed deeply, shaking her tired head, then smiled at Yaan once again.

"I don't want to be saved by you…I don't want to be brought into your world…you immortals fight against the natural order, but I…just want to live as nature intended…"

The calmness in Yaan's eyes gradually faded away, replaced by doubt, confusion and unease.

"Please, tell me…what is your real name?" She asked softly.

After a moment of silence, Yaan replied in a hushed voice:

"Yaan. My name is Yaan."

"So it was Yaan…" Flora smiled sadly, reaching out and stroking Yaan's face. "But you see, my husband was not an immortal called Yaan…my husband was a mortal man called Des. If my husband had saved me, it would have been fine…but I do not wish to be saved by you, Yaan…"

"I…I am your husband…" Yaan spoke with difficulty in a strained voice, now clenching his fists as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"No…my husband…is already dead…" Tears flowed heavily from Flora's eyes as she stared up at Yaan.

Finally, Yaan was unable to endure. His trembling body lost all tension, and like Flora, he became unable to stop his flow of tears. The two cried whilst holding one another, but they felt a strange distance between them for the first time since they had met.

"So you can cry…" Flora muttered weakly, withdrawing her hand and wiping her face. "But…my husband never cried. Not a single time. He was such a strong man…"

"Yes…yes, he was…" Yaan nodded slowly as he pulled away from her embrace, before forcing himself to regain his composure.

Flora sighed as she saw his strained expression. She was once again reminded of the vicious demon that she had encountered back then, the demon whose heart was filled with hidden pain.

"Oh Yaan…you were my entire life, but I…am just a short chapter in yours…"

As Flora spoke those whispered words, the aura of death fully encompassed her body. Yaan watched as she closed her eyes, doing nothing to prevent her from passing over into the next life.

He could save her…he could easily save her…

But he did not.

Yaan stood there, clenching his fists in helplessness, as he let his wife die.

Silence encompassed the room. Shi continued to stare at Yaan with a stunned expression, but Yaan ignored her, watching as Flora finally took her last breath. He stepped forwards and gently pulled the bedsheets over her body. He took a final look at her with a long, pained sigh, before he walked outside, then looked up into the sky.

Patter…

For the first time in ten years, it rained in Namuh Village. It was unknown whether this rain was the heaven's way of mocking Yaan, or if…it was caused by the tears streaming down his face…

"Why…why did you have to say that…" Yaan spoke as an endless bitterness filled his voice.

Yaan stood alone in silence, the only sound in his ears being the increasing strength of the rain. Others in the village would be rejoicing right now, but Yaan could not possibly feel happy in this situation.

After an unknown period of time, a voice crashed into his ears, breaking his silent grieving. However, he had expected this voice to come.

"Uncle!" Shi appeared in the doorway of their home, staring at him with various emotions burning in her eyes. She did not even notice the rain, which should have been the most shocking occurrence in her life, because her gaze was fixed entirely on Yaan's small back.

She stood just a few feet behind him, staring at his lonely figure.

Just moments ago, when she regained her senses, she had rushed out, intending to scream at him, intending to demand answers.

Who, or what, was he exactly? Was he an immortal? If he was an immortal…then why did he not save auntie?!

However, when her eyes landed on his small, unfamiliar back, the words became stuck in her throat. The person before her was releasing such a strange, melancholic presence, that all of her thoughts were turned to dust, and all she could do was stare with wide eyes. She heard a pained sigh come from this unfamiliar figure, before Yaan turned back, facing her with a complicated expression.

"Shi…your uncle…died along with your auntie…"

"What…? I don't…I don't understand…" She muttered, staring into Yaan's eyes with confusion.

For some reason, when her eyes met his, she began crying uncontrollably. She did not cry when her auntie died, and yet, she actually cried as soon as she met his gaze.

The strange aura emanating from Yaan's body was slowly becoming stronger and stronger.

"You should leave this place. Forget about me, but always remember your auntie and uncle." Yaan spoke to the distraught girl quietly, before he turned away and began walking slowly. He no longer paid attention to his surroundings, but became lost in thought. Every now and then, his expression changed, and sometimes, he would sigh deeply.

Sometimes he smiled, sometimes his eyes showed sadness, and sometimes, he just stared at the sky with a complex gaze.

"Flora, you once said that suffering allows us to appreciate the good in this life…but I think it is the other way around…good things only exist to torture us, making our suffering all the more painful…" Yaan muttered to himself dreamily.

"Rui." Yaan finally stopped walking. Rui did not respond, but he didn't mind it.

"Rui, thank you for not interfering with me during these past few years. I know that originally, you intended to cultivate me into a medicinal ingredient to facilitate your resurrection…whilst my current mortal state is not very useful to you, I'm sure that you could have extracted some benefit from me, but instead, you allowed me to live a full mortal life…even if you did this due to your caution against the Primordial Devil and the one behind him, I am still grateful. Allow me to repay you."

After saying this, Yaan's aura suddenly surged. He rebuilt his cultivation from the ground up, only…he restored a type of cultivation that he had never actually possessed.

In an instant, Yaan's body tempering reached the Peak 3-Star Realm and his Qi refining cultivation reached the Peak Origin Soul Realm. In the next moment, he used a tremendous amount of Life Essence to fill his body, soul and Dantian, elevating his cultivation back to the level of the Nirvana Realm! He achieved the most perfect foundation imaginable, even though he had never cultivated an Origin Soul until now….

"I cannot hold this state for long, Rui. Please devour me and use my flesh to restore yourself in this world."

For a moment, there was silence. Clearly, Rui was hesitating, she was still wary of being seen by others…however, in the end, Yaan had already revealed her presence to any nosy onlookers. It didn't matter if she revealed herself at this point, so she decided to take the risk and act.

Whoosh!

Rui reappeared from the stone ring in her soul form. She cast Yaan a deep look, but he only looked back at her expressionlessly in return. Without a word, she reached out and grasped the Demon Core within his Dantian, forcing it out from his body and collapsing his Origin Soul simultaneously.

"No, don't-!"

BANG!

Right as the Primordial Devil revealed himself, standing just outside of Namuh Village and staring down with an unwilling expression, Yaan's body exploded in a wave of blood. This wave of blood spread outwards for a moment, before rapidly condensing inwards, fusing into his destroyed core and soul.

Rui natural saw and heard the Primordial Devil, causing her expression to become dark. Even so, she didn't stop her actions, and she immediately devoured the pill whilst it was still being refined!

The Primordial Devil reached out to stop her, but he suddenly froze. His expression became enraged, but he was unable to say anything right now…the Primordial Sage had frozen his movements!

He could not speak, but he roared at her within his mind.

"Sage, what are you doing?! If she kills him, I won't be able to devour him! There are many ways to help her recover, why-"

"He is not dead."

The sage's words silenced him. In shock and disbelief, the devil turned back to the scene in Namuh Village. Whilst Rui's soul recovered its strength and she simultaneously created herself a unique physical body which could support her talent as a Qi refiner, Yaan watched her silently…

Yaan had been devoured, and yet, he stood there, right before everyone's eyes.

When Rui finally completed her resurrection, gaining a perfect mortal body with an appearance identical to her soul, she opened her eyes…then froze.

Yaan stood before her, but he possessed no body, he possessed no soul.

Yaan should have died, completely and utterly, after she devoured every spec of his being. He should have died when the remainder of his Life Essence was burned away in order to assist Rui's refinement of the Vital Origin Rebirth Pill. He should have died after she devoured that pill, restoring her soul, reforming her body and regaining her life by devouring Yaan's own life in exchange…

Yaan's body had died, as had his energies, his soul and his mind…

He no longer possessed a single drop of Life Essence, not even in his Dao Soul.

He remained in this world in an impossible form; with his Dao Soul alone!

He stood there with eyes that lay between brown and red, and a red silk robe which sat on his body perfectly. However, the perfection of his form was ruined by the deep black cracks which plagued him, covering his entire Dao Soul, resulting in his endless destruction and re-creation.

Slowly, Yaan looked around at the world, as if he was seeing it for the first time. As he looked around, the memories of his life, from his birth until now, resurfaced in his mind.

He recalled everything that he had experienced, he remembered the people he had met along the way.

He first recalled Elia, his childhood friend…he wondered how she was doing. Was she still alive and well? Did she still live in the Heavenly Path Sect? Had the Heavenly Path Sect recovered, or had it fallen by now…?

He recalled his first teacher. Yaan had felt betrayed back then, but now, he understood his teacher's moral dilemma. That man had struggled to decide whether he should refine his disciple into a puppet, or whether he should give up on his demonic-leaning plan…

Yaan remembered Ghu Nadda, one of the few friends he had made in his life. How did things turn out for Nadda, after he returned from the inheritance? Did Ghu Lin make things difficult for him…?

He recalled Zue Yin, the girl whom he knew held complicated feelings towards him. Was she still in the Fragment Sect, or did she leave, trying to return home…?

Yaan remembered the Fragment Sect itself and the people he met there. He remembered the Fragment of Qi's tests, and his eventual sacrifice…he remembered Keasal, who treated him like a junior disciple brother…and Brase, who also tried to help him in his own way…after the Fragment of Qi died, what became of the Fragment Sect? Was the sect still around, or did it get swallowed up by the sharks which surrounded it on all sides…?

Yaan recalled the Bloody Totem Tribe Leader, whom he dragged along with his own selfish whims. He wondered, how was the Bloody Totem Tribe doing these day? Did it manage to survive, or had it already been crushed by the enemies that Yaan had made…?

And then there was Ga Shu…Yaan did not even know if Ga Shu was still alive. Ga Shu had once called Yaan 'good'…Yaan did not agree with him, but he still felt grateful, that at least one person in this world saw something within him other than pure, innate evil…

As Yaan thought of all these things, he recalled the times he spent in this village, causing a warm smile to surface on his face. He remembered the good, the bad…and the ending.

"All things come to an end, eventually…" Yaan's smile faded away as he murmured quietly to himself.

Unknowingly, the aura released from his body had transformed from an agonising pain, into an eery stillness. His aura became so still, that it was as if time had stopped.

As Yaan looked out at the world, he saw the rain. He could hear the people rejoicing in the distance, he could see the forest trying to regain its life. He could feel Shi watching him from afar, unable to approach any closer, but unable to look away. He saw Rui staring at him with wide eyes, and the Primordial Devil glaring at him with killing intent.

As Yaan watched the world, he felt as if he could see dao itself. He felt as if he had touched upon something…something that existed in the background, behind all things…something beyond the divinities that he had met, beyond the Heavenly Dao itself…

Compared to this one thing, all else seemed so…insignificant.

"Life, to death, to life…even life and death itself is so tiny, so insignificant…all things come to an end, nothing lasts for longer than the blink of an eye. Indeed…everything came from nothing, and everything returns to nothing…when nothingness returns, it is as if none of it ever happened…all of this is simply…nothing..."

As Yaan spoke, his eyes slowly lost their colour. At first, it looked like his eyes became black, but eventually, that look within his eyes became emptiness itself.

It could not be described as merely being black, because it lacked colour, it lacked the lack of colour, it lacked…everything.

It was as if Yaan's gaze had become the sole point of nothingness in this world.

Everyone who saw this gaze, without exception, froze.

Be it Shi, standing in the distance, or Rui by his side…the Primordial Devil, watching from outside the village, and the Primordial Sage on his shoulder…

Even the Heavenly Dao itself froze.

They did not know it right now, but this simple gaze of Yaan's, this single look into nothingness, would have an immense impact upon the lives of all who saw it.

When the Primordial Sage saw this gaze, for the first time since her birth into the four planes, an emotion formed in her heart. A trace of shock formed in her ever-clear green eyes as Yaan turned towards her, somehow seeing through her concealment as he stared at her emotionlessly.

As that gaze landed on her, the Primordial Sage couldn't help but mutter:

"Void…"

For the first time ever, she felt a trace of an emotion. For the first time ever, she unknowingly spoke her thoughts aloud. It could be said that the thing she saw in Yaan's eyes was the one and only thing in this world that could cause her to lose her composure like this…and this loss of composure threatened her very life.

Cracks appeared across the Primordial Sage's body. She understood the issue and quickly destroyed the unexpected emotion, but she realised that it was too late.

Two things happened at the same time. Firstly, the Primordial Sage pointed at the crystal in her forehead, then without hesitation, she destroyed her body without making a sound. Her body dissolved into black dust, which blew away in the wind, disappearing after a few seconds.

At the same time, a black portal manifested above where she had just been, and she descended to this place with a new body. Her expression was serene, and this time, when she faced Yaan, who no longer bothered himself with her, her heart did not stir.

She had been forced to give up a portion of her strength, but at the same time, she was able to find and fix this small flaw in her dao heart.

The Primordial Sage's actions awoke the Primordial Devil from his stupor. He didn't know what was going on, and when he looked at Yaan, he felt an overwhelming sense of terror…but he refused to acknowledge this fear. He refused to be beaten by his heart demon!

"You abomination, I will-"

"Stop." The sage spoke a single word, causing the devil to freeze once again. This time, she didn't freeze his ability to speak, so he roared out loud into the world.

"Sage, what are you doing?! I don't know what that monster is doing, but he can't possibly last long in this state! I need to devour him now, or else the plan will be a total failure!"

The Primordial Sage remained unmoved by his emotional outburst. She simply waved her hand, sending him flying backwards for countless miles.

"The plan has changed."

The Primordial Sage appeared directly before Yaan, no longer concealing herself from those around her. However, the moment she appeared before Yaan, Shi froze in place…she could no longer see nor hear what was going on.

In fact, all life within countless miles had been frozen, and the Primordial Sage actually…shielded the scene in the village from the Heavenly Dao!

She stared at Yaan deeply whilst speaking to Rui, the only person whom she did not act against, aside from Yaan himself.

"Watch him closely, this is a rare opportunity of the highest order. Do not waste this chance."

Rui was doubtful, but she felt that Yaan's state really was unique.

Yaan ignored everything around him. Nothing that happened in this world could move his heart any longer. It was as if he could see the end itself…

The darkness in his eyes grew stronger and stronger, until eventually, the aura surrounding him became deathly still. Rui and the Primordial Sage felt like the entirety of their being was suppressed under this aura, but Yaan…did not care.

"I lived a full life, didn't I…" Yaan muttered to himself.

"I experienced many things…my life was long, perhaps too long. I can't really complain about it ending like this…"

"I experienced success and failure…"

"I hurt others…and helped others…"

"I suffered…"

"I loved…"

"I lost…"

"And in the end…I will cease to be. Everything I fought for…gone. Everything I achieved…lost. Everything…becomes nothing..."

Yaan became silent for a while, before sighing deeply and closing his eyes.

"But that's fine too. I'm so tired of fighting. I just want it all to end. I just want to rest."

With that, Yaan died.

His body, soul and everything else had been devoured by Rui.

His Dao Soul faded away from the world, entering that place known as death…

The only things he left behind, were the people he affected along his journey.

For a long time, Rui and the Primordial Sage remained silent. It was unknown just how long passed by, but Rui was the one to eventually break the silence.

"Is he really gone…?"

Somehow, even though she knew that it was impossible, she felt that Yaan…was not truly gone.

"You should focus on yourself…sister." The Primordial Sage responded in her ever-monotone voice.

"I told you the last time we met, do not call me that. I have not accepted that I am the Primordial Asura. Regardless, I am no longer that person…my name is now Rui."

Ignoring her, the sage said:

"It is time for you to return to the inheritance. You will naturally come to understand everything after restoring your memories."

After saying this, the sage formed a hand seal, then manifested yet another black portal.

"This gate will take you directly to the 5th Trial Realm. The previous entrance was compromised, so when you leave, it will be an unfamiliar place on the Qi Plane."

Rui glanced at the Primordial Sage briefly. She didn't even bother questioning the young-looking girl any further. The Primordial Sage would only say what she wanted to say, no more, and no less.

Rui shifted her gaze downwards, fixing her eyes onto the two rings on the ground. These two rings were left behind by Yaan; one was his spatial ring, the other was the stone ring that had been with him throughout the majority of his life. Of course, originally, this ring was Rui's…

Rui placed the two rings on her fingers. The Primordial Sage said nothing, allowing her to take them away.

Without a word, Rui entered the gate.

After the gate closed behind her, the Primordial Sage stared in a certain direction. It was as if her gaze could pierce through time and space. In the end, she turned the other way, returning to the enraged Primordial Devil.

However, just before she left to follow the Primordial Devil, she tapped the black crystal on her forehead, then split her body into two. The stronger of the two followed the Primordial Devil, whilst the weaker lingered in the village. Calmly, the weaker body turned her gaze towards a single mortal girl…

Shi.

She did not reveal herself for now and she did not act either. It was unknown why this girl had caught her attention.

Namuh Village came out of its daze.

Shi looked around, but found that her uncle and those other shocking beings were nowhere to be seen. She did not know what had happened, but this experience made her realise something…

In this world, immortals, gods, and perhaps beings beyond them, were all real.

In this moment, Shi's gaze became ignited with a fire like never before. The emotions within her heart turned into a brilliant flame, one that would never be extinguished, no matter what she encountered from here on. For a while, she stood still, processing everything that had happened until now…when she had finally organised her thoughts, a firm, resolute look appeared in her eyes. Nobody could know what exactly she was thinking, or what conclusions she had arrived at.

Without hesitation, Shi chose to leave the village. For some unknown reason, her eyes were filled with a boundless killing intent…

"Uncle, I swear that one day…I will definitely kill you!"

Shi left the village, followed by the hidden Primordial Sage.

At the same time, the Primordial Sage returned to the Primordial Devil's side.

Rui entered the Primordial Asura's inheritance on the Qi Plane.

The world became still.

Yaan had died…but he was yet to truly disappear from this world. He found himself sinking deeper and deeper into an endless abyss of darkness, causing the tiredness in his heart to grow stronger with every passing moment. He could not resist as he sank deeper and deeper into this place which could only be called 'death'…but neither did he want to.

He was so, so tired…

He just wanted to rest.

When he reached the bottom of this abyss, he would finally be able to rest.

Yaan shut his eyes, no longer even feeling motivated enough to form a single thought. He would die, vanishing from this world forever. He would no longer need to fight, there would be no more struggle and pain. This was the end, the finale to his tragic life…perhaps he had failed to resist his fate, or perhaps dying like this was, in its own way, a form of resistance. Regardless, Yaan no longer cared. He just wanted to rest.

He wanted to rest…but his life rarely went as he wanted it to.

As Yaan sank into the abyss of death, passing the point of no return, a vast presence descended upon him. At first, he assumed that it was the Heavenly Dao. After all, the Primordial Devil once mentioned that the death of the Dao Soul meant being devoured by the Heavenly Dao…

Suddenly, Yaan's eyes shot open.

This…was not the Heavenly Dao, because this presence…transcended the Heavenly Dao's might!

In this endless dark abyss, which should have been absent of all manors of life, a monstrous entity stared down at him. It was impossible to describe the size of the entity with words, because this being encompassed the entirety of the place called death.

Death was something that existed as a reflection to all places of life, it was no less prominent than the Heavenly Dao! No, perhaps death was even grander than the Heavenly Dao, which could be obscured from certain regions by certain powerful beings…

Could death be removed from any place in this world? Of course not…where there was life, there was death.

As Yaan stared back at this entity, he saw its true form. He saw a being made from pure white bones, partially covering its body with a long black robe. In its skeletal hand, a black scythe was held, a scythe so large that it was impossible to see its beginning and end.

This being, which Yaan could only assume was the living manifestation of death itself, watched Yaan for some time through its two abyssal black eyes. Each eye seemed to contain the entire realm of death within those white bony sockets…

When Yaan looked into this being's eyes, he immediately understood something.

What Primordial Devil? What Primordial Sage? What Heavenly Dao?

Compared to those entities, this skeletal being was endlessly more powerful; those others were basically just a joke in comparison! And yet, compared to that brief glimpse of the void that Yaan had just experienced…this being was still completely insignificant.

Perhaps that was why Yaan's heart remained calm as this monstrous deathly figure began speaking.

"Oh child, you cannot die yet…

"I know it hurts, but you still have so much left to do …"

"You are yet to discover your purpose in this world, how could you stop now?"

"This is not the end, but a new beginning…"

"For the sake of this cruel world, and for the sake of your broken self, you must live on."

These words were spoken with a gentle tone filled with understanding, leaving Yaan feeling dazed and confused. Compared to this entity's terrifying presence and appearance, these words contained a genuine warmth that Yaan could not comprehend.

But the being's following actions were even more incomprehensible.

Without a word, the skeletal monster lifted its scythe above its head, stretching out its bony arm to the side, and then…it sliced down at its own neck, removing its head from its body!

The being, which could only be described as death…killed itself.

A tremendous black power stormed out from the scythe and into its body. Gradually, its entire form started to become indistinct, as its strength faded away, slowly but surely…

Its strength faded, but its grand majesty did not dissipate in the least.

When death killed itself, an overwhelming power of life was formed. As the skeletal being of death collapsed into a white light so blindingly bright that Yaan was forced to shut his eyes, death was turned to life.

The endless life flowed into Yaan's Dao Soul, which had almost reached the bottom of this deathly abyss. When this light filled his entire being, his descent halted, and he…began to rise…

The skeletal monster looked at Yaan with a calm gaze, watching as his death was converted into life. When the being saw this, it muttered to itself quietly.

"I see…so this…is chaos…"

Finally, the skeletal incarnation of death collapsed entirely. To begin with, it was death, so saying that it had died was not quite right, but…it no longer existed in this world. In order to save Yaan, it gave up its entire existence, sacrificing itself without hesitation.

Yaan did not want to be saved, really, he just wanted to rest…but life never went the way he wanted.


クリエイターの想い
SpicyDaoist SpicyDaoist

Finally, with this, both Desolate Fate, and the rewrite of this novel have finished! Starting tomorrow, I will start releasing the first entirely new content since I started the rewrite months ago with Volume 5 of Desolate Fate!

Just a quick reminder: ‘Desolate Fate’ has until now been a rewrite of ‘A Desolate Life’. However, now that DF has caught up with ADL, DF will take over - Volume 5 will continue with DF, not ADL.

I’m going to more or less copy/paste the post note from ADL Volume 4 now, with a couple alterations to fit the now caught up rewrite:

Volume 4 took place on the Blood Plane. Yaan has been introduced to characters on a higher stage, and of course, a big plot point was finally revealed - Yaan is actually the physical incarnation of the Primordial Devil's heart demon!

 

In this volume, Yaan slowly lost his mind, whilst falling into an endless fight against the world and against himself. He killed more than he has ever killed before, and in the end...it completely broke him.

I've said this before, and I hope it has become clear now - Yaan is a continually changing character. He can’t really be defined (imo) as 'good' or 'evil' in the traditional sense. He is not a perfect hero who always succeeds and never experiences failures. He is a person who is continually changing as he experiences more of the world...ironically, he is very human.

 

Yaan's was motivated to fight on through this world because he wanted to discover the truth, and he wanted to fight against his fate. However, the truth that he discovered was too bitter to accept, and he realised that all this time, he had been playing into his fate unknowingly. He has lost everything that drove him to fight and to live, and in the end, he died, but he was seemingly saved by a mysterious entity…

 

In Volume 5, we will see Yaan starting to learn about himself properly, without any illusions clouding his vision. There will be more dao seeking / comprehension / understanding in Volume 5, both in terms of the dao heart and the earthly daos. In fact, dao will probably become a more prominent point from here onwards.

Volume 5 will also expand the entire world of the Four Planes. We will learn more about the world that Yaan lives in, including some of the most prominent figures in the world…some of the side characters from the four earlier volumes will reappear - I haven’t forgotten about everyone, trust me!

Yaan failed his immortal tribulation, and now, all he has left is a damaged Dao Soul. But at the same time, his understanding of himself and the world has undergone a huge change. Let's see how this plays out.

Lastly, a big shout out to my current patrons over on my paytreeon:

Oho

Kolacik

LOVETOSPICYDAOIST

Lester

Now, finally…onto Volume 5, starting tomorrow and continuing with daily uploads!

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