Yaan felt as if time had frozen.
Throughout his life, he had encountered many strange things. He knew that his identity was probably not that of an ordinary human.
He had learned of the Primordial Devil in the Southern Continent. He learned about the Primordial Devil's problematic reincarnation, and he learned that he was supposedly one of the Primordial Devil's five Dao Soul fragments. He was told that he was the core fragment…
The fact that Yaan had seen those karmic strings which connected him to many things that he had never seen before, strongly suggested that there was some truth behind him being a reincarnated person. After meeting the Fragment of Blood, Yaan became certain that the inheritance on Planet Yushu was actually created by the Primordial Devil himself…
He had always felt doubtful about him being this 'Fragment of Dao', the so called 'core fragment'. It simply made no sense for him to be the core of the Primordial Devil's dao. After all, he and that devil were far too different, whilst the Fragment of Blood was practically identical to the devil of the past!
But despite his doubts, Yaan did not come to any solid conclusions. He prevented himself from overthinking it too heavily, because much of the 'evidence' that he had seen was questionable at best, and highly suspicious at worst.
The fact that he was forever being manipulated behind the scenes only added to his doubts…
He had considered many possibilities, but until now, they were merely possibilities, absurd sounding ideas that could easily be dismissed as farfetched delusions. But now, Yaan was presented not with a mere possibility, but with the absolute truth…
He was the Primordial Devil's heart demon. He was the thing that all cultivators, or perhaps all living beings in this world, hated and feared more than anything else. He was not born in a natural, typical manner, but instead, he was born from the self-doubt in the Primordial Devil's dao heart…
The only purpose of his existence was to destroy the Primordial Devil's dao heart…but he was innately connected to the Primordial Devil.
Destroying the Primordial Devil…would also result in the destruction of his own self.
He was born into this world as a mistake, and a mistake of the world was fated to be fixed before long.
The 'Fragment of Blood' had once said that one of them needed to kill the other in order to take that last step, allowing them to attain divinity. However, the reality of the situation was instead far too cruel; it was fundamentally impossible for Yaan to survive this battle for divinity!
What was this?
What sort of truth was this?
All his life, he had been obsessively searching for the truth, fighting against the pain, the misery, all of the difficulties that this life threw at him, all because he felt determined to find the truth. Now, Yaan had found that truth…he had accomplished everything that he had set out to do…he had fulfilled his greatest wish...
Yaan was a ruthless demon…he had become heartless, cutting off his own emotions, hurting both himself and everyone around him…
Yet when he was confronted with the truth, two streams of tears poured down from Yaan's eyes.
Honestly, when was the last time that he had truly, actually cried? It had been so long that he couldn't even remember…
"This is what I was fighting for?" Yaan muttered, bitterness filling his tone. "This is the truth that I was searching for, all this time?"
Suddenly, Yaan laughed, but his laugh was filled with despair, and a hint of mocking towards himself.
"I endured endlessly, I was always so determined to live on, resolved to find the truth…but this truth…is far too bleak…"
Yaan was shocked by the truth, and he hated this truth that he had been shown…however, there was another reason that, in this moment, he almost broke down completely.
For hundreds of years, he had endured countless hardships, he had turned himself into a monster, he had committed unspeakable atrocities…but he was able to endure it, because he had a goal.
But now, he had achieved that goal…
He had finally succeeded! Only…
This goal was not sweet, but bitter, and now that he had achieved all that he had ever wished to achieve, he no longer possessed a single trace of motivation to go on. The drive behind his crazed perseverance had been quenched the very moment that he achieved 'success'.
Clearly, Yaan was forgetting about his other goals in life, such as overcoming his fate and returning home. However, the shock that he had been dealt was just so strong, that now, his Dao Soul was starting to tremble…
"I don't…I don't want this truth!" Suddenly, Yaan's expression became fierce. He roared out towards the world, the Heavenly Dao, the Primordial Devil, and to himself.
"This cannot be the truth! If this is the truth…then what was the point of it all?! If this is really all there is to my life, if continuing to cultivate means that I am fated to die against that devil no matter what, if there is nothing else left to fight for…then what reason do I have to continue living?!"
As if responding to his crazed, rage-filled cries of despair, the second illusion vanished, and the final illusion began.
When Yaan found himself again sitting on his wooden bed in Zong Village, wearing a conflicted expression as he contemplated whether or not he really had it in him to kill 100 people, his heart sank into the abyss.
This time, Yaan not only experienced this scene, he simultaneously saw it from the Heavenly Dao's perspective. Because of this, he was able to clearly see the changes to his dao heart and even his Dao Soul, for the first time in his sorrowful life.
"No…" Yaan muttered miserably, clenching his fists tight shut as he watched from an omniscient viewpoint. "Not this…don't show me this again…I don't want to see this, not now that I know what I truly am…"
There were three illusions in this tribulation. The first, showed Yaan everything that he had done which impacted his dao heart in some significant way. The second, showed him the truth behind his existence. The third, was exactly the same as the first, only now, for the first time in his life…Yaan would be unable to turn a blind eye to his grievously injured dao heart and soul.
Yaan finally understood that the Heavenly Dao was too malicious…to use truth to hurt him like this…
When Yaan saw his younger self, he finally saw the pain in his heart and soul. His Dao Soul was born from the doubt in another being's dao heart, meaning that his own Dao Soul had never been whole, it had never been perfect like everyone else's…
It was for this reason that Yaan had always felt lonely, separated from other people by a distance that he could only now understand.
The Dao Soul had no appearance as such, but when Yaan looked at his younger self's Dao Soul through the eyes of the Heavenly Dao, he could see it clearly. It was a white figure that closely resembled himself, only, tiny black cracks covered the entire Dao Soul, ruining its purity and tainting its existence.
Finally, Yaan understood…these cracks across his Dao Soul had existed from the moment of his birth. He was inherently flawed. He was a being designed for the sole purpose of destroying another being, along with himself. He was never meant to live for this long, he was never meant to become an independent existence…
As the young Yaan sat on his bed, deliberating over what he should do with this moral dilemma, Yaan watched him with a bitter expression, which only became countless times more bitter when he heard the words which eventually came from his young self's mouth.
"I don't want to kill anyone…" The young boy muttered in frustration.
Yaan could only laugh with tears streaming down his cheeks. The first time he re-experienced this moment, he disregarded these naïve words as the ignorant mutterings of a child. But now…
"I never wanted to become a monster. I'm a heart demon, a malicious entity by my birth right, and yet, I never wanted to kill anyone…I never wanted to become a monster, because I never wanted to be like the Primordial Devil…"
Finally, the young Yaan spoke with resolve after a full night of contemplation.
"Then…I just need to kill evil people?"
Sadness filled Yaan's eyes as he watched his young self's Dao Soul became slightly more twisted.
"No…" Yaan muttered, watching his young self approaching Xinti. He tried to reach out, he tried to stop him, he tried to change the truth; but he could not.
When Yaan watched his childish self kill for the first time, the bitter feeling in his heart grew stronger. Just like when he had decided to kill, killing for the first time also caused the cracks in his Dao Soul to become slightly more prominent. Of course, right now, they were extremely minute, but Yaan was finally beginning to realise what he was about to watch unfold…
Each time he walked against his heart, he would inflict further damage upon his Dao Soul. Not only could he feel the pain emanating from his younger self's Dao Soul, but as Yaan watched his past play out before him, he finally, slowly, became aware of that very same pain within his current self.
He killed Xinti, he killed the innocent girl by mistake…he slaughtered the children in Zong Village in a fit of madness, even going so far as killing his childhood friend, Jash.
Back then, Yaan blamed that boy for betraying them, but really, he was just a scared, pitiful child, doing his best to survive in a cruel world…
The young Yaan entered the Heavenly Path Sect. He was convinced by his teacher to kill prisoners, and eventually, he reached the required number of 100, allowing him to truly step onto the path of cultivation.
Yaan watched with a pained expression as he saw his young self being completely blinded by rage and his desire for revenge. This rage existed within him from the moment of his birth, because this was a portion of the Primordial Devil's rage. By embracing this rage, he was slowly becoming that which he hated…
He ignored the kind people around him. He ignored Elia, his childhood friend who clearly wanted to reconnect with him, despite his obvious attempts to distance himself from her…
Every action he took walked against his heart. Every time the scene changed, Yaan saw his past self doing something that previously, he was able to watch with indifference. Now though, he knew the truth. With this understanding of the truth, his perspective had completely shifted.
Before, he watched his life unfold, thinking that he had done what needed to be done in order to stick to his path. He killed, he became a monster, he ignored his heart and betrayed his own beliefs, but at least he had a proper reason for doing so; he had a goal.
Originally, that goal was simply to survive, and to obtain revenge. Of course, the revenge didn't work out…
But then, after Yaan steadily came to terms with the devastation that he left behind in the Heavenly Path Sect, he sought out a new goal.
He fought through the dark forest, learning that he could only trust and rely on himself in this world.
He entered North Ghu City, gaining a deeper understanding of the cultivation world, and what was needed in order to thrive. At this point, he had still been confused, but he knew that he needed to go on, if only to at least find his purpose in this life.
In the inheritance, Yaan was made aware of various things. Especially in the True-False Illusion World, for the first time, he realised that his life…was not as simple as it had once seemed.
Having already walked the path of ruthlessness to find his purpose, Yaan was able to continue on, now with a clear goal in mind. He wanted to understand why it was that he was bound by some twisted fate, he wanted to understand the nature behind his existence, and he…wanted to resist his so-called fate!
The Southern Continent. Yaan did not kill much in the Southern Continent, and when he did kill, he only killed those captives whom were captured by the Fragment of Qi.
But there was a turning point during Yaan's time spent in the Southern Continent.
For a period of time, whilst Yaan was searching for dao by travelling the lands, he ended up in a mortal village. In order to find an answer to his question, 'what is dao?', he imposed an illusion upon himself, convincing himself that he was a mortal…
For months, he lived as a mortal. He experienced mortal life, the good, the bad, and finally…the inevitable.
All mortal life ended in death. All happiness was temporary, and without strength, nothing could be protected. Allowing yourself to be restrained by anything other than the pursuit of absolute strength, especially by emotions, would only hold you down.
Yaan convinced himself that he had no heart. That was the conclusion he came to after watching the old woman who had cared for him, Granny Ging, die, in a fit of dementia and indignity.
Yaan had watched this during the first illusion in this tribulation, and back then, it shook him slightly, causing him to feel that something was amiss. Back then, however, he was still firm in his beliefs…he neither possessed a heart, nor did he need to possess a heart!
Everything that Yaan had experienced and everything that Yaan desired, including his yearning to learn the truth, and to resist his fate, led him to this conclusion.
Now, however, as Yaan watched the cracks across his Dao Soul explode out, afflicting his dao heart and soul with such an unbearable agony that he suddenly gasped out loud in shock and torment, he finally realised the truth.
In this moment, the illusion that Yaan had placed upon himself all those years ago, began to fall down…
However, the truth hidden behind the illusion, was simply too much for Yaan to bear. He resisted the truth, rejecting it, trying to convince himself that it was not the case, it was not true…
He endured the pain, but unfortunately, the illusion was far from over.
Yaan entered the Blood Plane.
He killed…he killed…he killed so, so many people.
As the torment afflicting his younger self's Dao Soul in the illusion grew stronger, the illusion that Yaan had placed on himself all those years ago, crumbled further and further.
The more he killed, the more pain he felt.
At a certain point, he became silent, watching with a tormented expression, as tears ran down his face. He watched the scene of him massacring endlessly, heartlessly, harming himself in the process of claiming the lives of millions…billions…
Trillions of people.
The number of innocent people to suffer due to Yaan's actions had reached the tens of trillions.
This thought lingered in Yaan's mind as the final illusion came to an end. He was left alone, in a black, empty space. The Heavenly Dao was no longer doing anything to him, and from here, the result of this tribulation would be entirely dependant on Yaan himself.
Even though the illusions had stopped, Yaan could still see those images, as if they had been burned into his eyes. Likewise, the sounds seemed to linger, echoing through his ears.
He could see the blood and the brutalised corpses of every person he had cut down. He could hear the screams of pain and fear from every single person he had killed. He could still see the grieving expressions on the faces of the fallen's families as he passed through their lives like a walking calamity.
He had become a true monster, perhaps the worst monster below the Immortal Step that this world had ever seen.
Yaan had convinced himself that he had no heart, and he had truly believed it…but now, the illusion had finally broken down. After Yaan saw the truth in himself, he finally comprehended the 'truth fragment' of the illusion dao entirely, but this only caused his grief to grow deeper.
"I knew that I had become a monster, but I told myself - so what? I told myself that I had no heart! But it was all a delusion…for most of my life, I have actually been living in an illusion of my own creation…"
With the illusion covering his Dao Soul no longer in place, Yaan felt every single trace of agony that had gathered within his dao across the many gruelling years. He felt a pain like no other pain, a pain so unspeakable, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and on a level that could only be described as 'agony of one's dao', that it wouldn't be strange if he instantly died from the pain alone.
But instead, Yaan felt that this pain…was not enough…
He deserved so, so much worse.
How could any amount of pain be sufficient to repent for the terrible things he had done, for the misery he had spread across this world?
Yaan smiled with a broken smile so bitter, so sad and pained, that if others saw his face, they would break down in tears, unable to control themselves. Even immortals would be affected by this expression and the pained aura on his body, because right now, Yaan finally understood that he…had failed.
He had failed in every regard.
He had failed to understand his own heart. He had failed to live up to the ideals that he once held as a young child. He had failed to choose the correct path…
But he had found the truth, right? Was that not what he set out to do in the first place, regardless of the cost, regardless of what he needed to become?
Well, he had indeed found the truth, only to realise that this truth…was something that he could not bring himself to accept.
Why did he seek this truth so desperately? Was it just to understand the mysteries behind his life? Well, that was part of it, but the other part, was because he had believed that only by discovering the truth, would he be able to resist his cursed fate!
He had lived his life as a monster, thinking that he was resisting his fate…but he was a heart demon, an entity deemed as malicious, evil and abominable, by all living beings under the sky! Everything he had done…was the path dictated for him from the very beginning! He had completely and utterly failed to walk against his fate!
Yaan, still racked with a sort of pain so unbearable that it would leave even gods begging for mercy, sighed deeply. A faint ray of understanding appeared in his eyes. However, despite there being the light of understanding…there was nothing else.
He had lost his drive, his motivation, his will to go on. Everything that had previously fuelled his will to follow his path, had now been flipped around, used to mock him and break him down.
"I understand that this is all true…but I am yet to accept it." Yaan suddenly spoke with an eery calmness, directing his monotone words to nobody in particular.
"So long as I accept it, I will pass my tribulation. I will become an immortal, and a strong immortal at that…"
After saying this, Yaan shook his head, sighing deeply.
"But accepting this truth, is the same as accepting my fate. If I accept this truth, I will return to the same path that I was on before. I will continue to live as the 'evil heart demon', bringing calamity to this world, until finally, my preordained fate reaches its end. And this end…is a battle against the Primordial Devil…"
Yaan smiled, but there was no joy in his smile. His smile was empty and his eyes were vacant, but he was already certain about the choice that he was going to make.
"Should I follow that fated path, when I inevitably fight the Primordial Devil, either he kills me, ending this painful journey with my death, and his ascension…or, I kill him, resulting in our mutual destruction. My entire existence is based upon my Dao Soul existing in opposition to his. His death…also means my death…"
Yaan was certain of this. Now, without the illusion deluding him into overlooking his own dao heart and soul, he had attained complete comprehension over the truth fragment of the illusion dao.
Not all earthly daos were equal, and likewise, not all of the fragments that made up an earthly dao were equal. The truth fragment was one of the major fragments that made up the illusion dao.
Obviously Yaan couldn't understand all truths in this world, but he could at least see through the truths of himself.
Yaan knew what he needed to do, he knew what he wanted…
What he wanted, was for all of this to end.
He didn't care anymore. About life, about cultivation, about all the people scheming against him…
Had anything good come of his life? Had anything good come of his pursuit of cultivation? Was there…anything at all?
He was tired of it all.
"If accepting the truth behind my existence means temporarily surviving by clinging to life and embracing my fate…then I would rather just fail and die right now."
The moment Yaan spoke these words, the world around him began to collapse. He closed his eyes, knowing that he had failed his Immortal Ascension Tribulation, and that now, he would die. He didn't feel at peace with himself, but neither did he feel unwilling. He didn't feel anything much regarding the prospect of his own death…
Perhaps that was why, in this instant, the instant at which Yaan felt himself slipping into a place that he could only call 'death', he came to an understanding.
He had failed his tribulation, he was clearly fated to die, he knew that…
But perhaps death could wait, just for a little while.
Yaan opened his eyes in the physical world. Seeing this, Rui, the reincarnated Primordial Devil, and the Primordial Sage all watched him, remaining silent as he stood up.
Only…he did not shed his mortal skin.
"You…" The devil stared at Yaan with wide eyes, not understanding what he was witnessing right now.
"I failed my tribulation, yes." Yaan glanced at him apathetically and nodded.
"Then how are you still alive?!"
Yaan looked away, casting his gaze over the trees in the forest. He looked at all of the life that surrounded him, this vibrant world….this desolate world.
From the moment that Yaan returned from his failed tribulation until now, a deep golden vortex had been circulating through his eyes. This vortex emitted a strong pressure, a pressure that felt like life and death had intertwined, forming a cycle of infinite rebirth.
At the moment Yaan felt himself dying due to failing the tribulation, he actually comprehended the law of life and death to the immortal stage!
This was a principle law, a complete principle law!
And the fragment of life and death that he had comprehended, was naturally 'rebirth'. He had actually comprehended the Heavenly Dao's entire understanding of rebirth, the complete law of rebirth that naturally existed in this world…
His talent in comprehending life and death had always been incredible, after all, he inherited the Primordial Devil's own comprehension talent into this dao, which was clearly shocking.
Yaan had failed his tribulation, but he was alive…right?
Unfortunately, that was not really the case.
"You…there's not a single drop of Life Essence in your body, your soul, your Qi, or your mind!" The Primordial Devil stepped towards Yaan, his eyes glowing with red light as he tried his best to see through the mystery before him. However, in the next moment, the light vanished from his eyes and he stood up. His gaze towards Yaan had become very strange.
'So the mastermind behind him must be watching right now, and they have already seen through the truth…' Yaan thought to himself mildly.
He was a dead man walking, it was impossible for him to feel threatened or afraid any longer. All he felt was a pained melancholy, and an uncertainty about how he should spend his remaining few years…
That said, once the Primordial Devil realised that Yaan was currently being sustained entirely by the Mortal Life Essence that he had absorbed into his Dao Soul back then, and it was depleting at a terrifying rate, he would probably kill him, right?
Thinking this, Yaan shot up towards the sky without warning.
"Bastard!" The Primordial Devil didn't hesitate to lash out at Yaan, who had already reached the nearby formation in the sky so quickly that it caught everyone off guard.
BANG!
Yaan's body was obliterated entirely by the strike, but he forced himself to reform enough of his body and his cultivation, that he was at least able to activate the transportation formation.
The Primordial Devil was about to strike again. Yaan ignored him, focussed only on his escape. He knew that his chances were basically non-existent, but he had to try…he didn't care if he died, but dying to the Primordial Devil was unacceptable!
However, the Primordial Devil's second strike never came.
Floating by his shoulder in the air, visible only to the red-haired giant himself, the Primordial Sage convinced him to allow Yaan to escape.
"Don't kill him yet. He failed to reach the Immortal Step, but his understanding of his own dao has undergone a metamorphosis. Whilst he cannot form a named dao heart, his dao will continue improving up until the moment of his death."
"So I should wait until then? How long will that be?" The Primordial Devil asked through gritted teeth, clenching his fists in anger.
How could he not be angry? The plan they had been executing for the past 2,000 years, had now truly failed!
He was enraged, but the Primordial Sage remained indifferent. It was as if nothing could shake her heart…nothing in this world could even make her feel a single trace of emotion.
"He has absorbed an ocean of Mortal Life Essence into his Dao Soul, but his body, soul, mind and Qi are already dead. In order to live, he must continually provide life to a body that has already died. He will soon realise the issue and choose to live as a mortal, giving him a mortal lifespan at most."
Contrary to his expectations, Yaan actually reached the portal, but he didn't waste any time dwelling on this. He immediately activated the formation according to the method he had deduced in 'secret' during the three years he spent training here under the devil's tuition.
Of course, the Primordial Sage saw through this, but she did nothing to stop him.
For the first time in an unknown number of years, the sky lit up with blinding star-light. From one star to the next, countless patterns of constellations filled the night sky. This light illuminated the entire region above the central Bloody Totem Province as a distinctive rune appeared in the sky.
The Bloody Totem Province had long since been evacuated due to the Blood Plane Lord informing the War Flower Emperor that he needed to be undisturbed in this region for three years. However, even though there was nobody within tens of thousands of miles of here, the rune glowed with such immense splendour that it could actually be seen from multiple neighbouring provinces. Billions of stunned lives stared up at the sky, unable to look away from this never seen before phenomenon.
The rune, formed from countless star nodes, was filled with the dao of space. The moment this dao law erupted, it swallowed Yaan whole. In the next instant, Yaan vanished and the rune faded away, eventually disappearing entirely as the sky returned to normal.
Activating the formation turned out to be quite simple. This formation used the energy which was extracted from the world by those burning false stars over a period of 10,000 years. Thankfully, the formation's energy had been accumulating for far longer than this.
Just before Yaan was taken away to an unknown place, he looked back at the world around him and sighed. He had made far too many enemies in this region, but there were two figures that entered his mind as he left.
'Bloody Totem Tribe Leader…you knew from the beginning that I intended to use your tribe to reach my own goals, but you were willing to bet on me anyway. In the end, you never lost hope in me, even when I started losing my mind. At first, I thought you were just a selfish person with deep ambitions…but now I understand, you are simply a woman who loves her tribe more than anything else in the world. I hope that your tribe prospers, even without me…'
'Ga Shu…are you still alive, Ga Shu? I truly hope that you are alive and well…Ga Shu, if you one day return to this place, will you assume that I have died? Will you move on? Or will you wait for me endlessly, despite there being no hope of me ever coming back…? Ga Shu…you are the only person who ever called me 'good', despite understanding me…I hope that you live a good life, Ga Shu…'
And with that, Yaan vanished, entering a separate micro-realm, hidden from the outside world on the Blood Plane.
The Primordial Sage casually created a portal of her own making, entering alongside the Primordial Devil. Her expression remained unmoved as she followed after Yaan without the slightest bit of difficulty, but as always, she remained hidden in the shadows.