章 10: 10. 10: Teach Me
Once El understood there was a whole new world out there to learn about, she would constantly seek new information, as well as someone to teach it to her. The definitions she found regularly were a bit overwhelming once they started to pile up, but she didn't care. Besides, the definitions themselves were so simple and easy to understand, she didn't have any problem keeping them all straight. Conveniently, every single one of them also came from the same person. I'll give you three guesses who that person was and the first two don't count.
The first time it happened was a couple months after El had come back into their lives...
"Okay...thanks Hopper...alright, we'll be over soon...tell her we're coming." Sighing, Mike hung up the phone and turned to his friends. "El woke up this morning and her voice was gone. To make matters worse, Hopper got called in for an emergency at the station. He asked us to go keep her company for a little while, just in case she needs anything," he explained, already throwing on his jacket.
"Did he ask US to come over, or did she ask for YOU to come over?" Lucas said with a smirk. He could feel himself start to blush as he indignantly replied, "HE asked for all of us, Lucas. You guys good to go?" Dustin and Will nodded their heads in agreement and with a reluctant "Fine" from Lucas, they were off.
El answered the door when they finally got there, looking slightly tired, but her face lit up when she saw them. "Hey El! Are you feeling okay?" Mike asked immediately, with a hint of concern in his voice. Ushering them in, she nodded, then pointed to her throat. "Yeah, Hopper told us," Mike said, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Do you think you're getting sick?" Will inquired. She shook her head, opening her mouth to say something, only to immediately shut it when she realized talking wasn't an option today. Thinking fast, Mike scanned the trailer and spotted a notepad lying on the counter. He grabbed it as well as the pen beside it and handed them to El. "Here, do you think you could write out what you want to say?"
She nodded, looking grateful and sat down on the couch as she timidly started printing out the words she couldn't say out loud. The boys followed and Mike kneeled beside her, watching the letters appear on the page.
"Bad dream" she wrote out. "Screaming". When she pointed to her throat once more, the pieces fell into place. They glanced at each other worriedly, except for Mike, who lowered his gaze, frustrated that he couldn't have been there to comfort her. Instead, she had literally screamed her voice away last night and he hadn't been able to do a thing.
Her hand moved again, and pretty soon, "I'm sorry" was written out on the page. The boys practically fell over one another to reassure her she had done nothing wrong and that it wasn't her fault. Mike relaxed when a smile played at her lips and she seemed to accept what they were saying.
After a pause, Lucas finally spoke up, checking his watch. "Well, what should we do for three hours?" When Dustin suggested they watch TV, they agreed immediately and a few minutes later, they were sprawled in front of Hopper's television, flipping through channels until they found a cartoon they all loved.
That, and random arguments about the unrealistic aspects of the show, kept them occupied until Hopper poked his head into the trailer. "Thanks boys, you're free to leave now. I just need to run to the store, then I'll be back, okay El?' She nodded and the four boys reluctantly rose from where they had been sitting as they heard Hopper's car start. "Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Mike asked, turning to El. She turned her attention to her piece of paper and scrawled "Yes. See you later?" "Of course!" he replied with a smile, and went to collect his things with his friends. However, he wasn't about to leave without doing something first.
Hoping his friends wouldn't relentlessly tease him for this, he opened his arms to El and her smile made his heart swell. She walked over immediately and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. He smiled contently, burying his face in her hair. Seeing no reason to let go anytime soon, they held each other in an embrace as they listened to the door slam and their friends run rather loudly down the steps. She sank farther into his arms the second they were alone and he tenderly squeezed her shoulders.
"Hey Mike, you coming?" they heard Lucas call from outside. El's head popped up and she broke away from him, hurriedly grabbing her notepad and scribbling something down. When she flipped it to show him, he saw the word "Stay?" scrawled at the bottom of the page. "Absolutely," he answered, walking towards her and she grinned.
Lucas's voice came again. "MIKE!" He playfully rolled his eyes, not so much out of annoyance, but to make her smile. Not wanting to deafen her, he placed his hands over her ears before yelling back, "GO WITHOUT ME!"
"HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" they hear Lucas respond and Mike feels his face instantly begin to burn. He begins to retort, "LUCAS, SHE'S NOT MY-", but he knows they've already taken off, most likely swapping "Mike-and-Eleven" jokes all the way home. However, he forgets all about them when he feels El's hand on his shoulder.
They eventually find themselves snuggled up to one another on the couch, Mike telling story after story about the stupid things him and his friends had done over the years, and El leaning against him, with her pencil and paper in hand, occasionally jotting down a question, or laughing so hard at the antics he's describing to her that he has to pause the story when he sees her wince from the pain in her throat.
After one particularly funny tale that left her in a coughing fit he hated having to watch, they fell into a content silence as she nestled her head against his shoulder and he gently ran his fingers through her hair.
His eyes snapped down to the page when he saw her hand begin to write something out, squeezing her sentence in between the dozens of other words filling the paper. He waited patiently as she carefully printed out the letters and secretly snuck a glance at that adorable face she would make whenever she was concentrating. When she was done, she turned the notepad to show him. Written out in her handwriting was the request,
"Teach me something"
"Teach you...anything?" he questioned. She nodded and smiled with an eagerness that made him chuckle. The request sounded simple enough, but once she had laid her head back onto his shoulder, he began to realize how daunting of a task this was. There were thousands upon thousands of words out there and his brain was reeling at the fact that he had to pick one. Making sure it was one that El would want to learn filtered them a little, but there were still so many to choose from. He glanced around the room, looking for inspiration and he ended up reading everything she had wrote on the notepad since he and his friends had arrived. When his eyes landed on the phrase "I'm sorry", a light bulb went off in his head.
"El, do you know what forgiveness is?" She shook her head and he knew she was awaiting a definition. "Forgiveness...um...forgiveness is...well...it's when you aren't mad at the other person anymore for what they did. For example, when Dustin rode over my foot with his bike the other day, it hurt a LOT and, admittedly, I was pretty angry at him. But when he apologized and said he was sorry for what he did, I believed him. I could tell he felt bad for what he did, so I forgave him to make things better and stopped being mad at him. Does that make sense?"
Lifting her pencil, she scrawled out "It does. Thank you, Mike." He grinned and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "Anytime, El."
The second time it happened, they were soaking wet and in very low spirits. El had spent the afternoon at the Wheelers, hanging out and watching movies, and the boys had agreed to walk her home, ignoring the clouds in the sky. Everything was fine, except for the fact that they had forgotten how far Hopper's house was from Mike's if you were walking on foot. That wouldn't have been a problem, had it not started to downpour when they were halfway there.
"I can't believe we agreed to do this!" Dustin yelled, having to make himself heard over the noise of the rain. "For the thousandth time, I'm sorry!" Mike yelled back, wishing his friends would just suck it up. "Guys, we need to keep going!" Will exclaimed, jumping over a puddle and attempting to urge his friends on.
Shivering, Mike pulled his hood up and glanced over at El, who was walking with her head down and clearly was not having a good time. He couldn't help but suddenly be hit with an onslaught of memories relating to the night they found her, a night much like this. When he remembered how vulnerable and helpless she had looked, standing there with raindrops rolling down her face, a familiar twang of a longing to protect twisted in his chest.
His train of thought was interrupted by a gentle hand brushing against his. He smiled as El interlaced their fingers and moved to walk closer beside him. Realizing how cold her skin was, he buried their clasped hands in the pocket of his jacket and she squeezed his hand.
Their friends were arguing about who knows what ahead of them, but Mike tuned them out when he heard El's gentle voice.
"Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"Teach me something?"
Once again he was caught off guard, wishing he had given this more thought since the last time she had asked. What word could he teach her today...
Oh, wait. Words.
"El, have you ever thought about what language actually is? I'm producing a bunch of random noises with my mouth, and somehow, something inside your head is interpreting what you're hearing into actual thoughts. And what even are these words anyway? Who came up with them and who decided what they meant? How did they then tell everyone in the world what those words meant? Did everyone agree on those definitions?"
Realizing how confusing he sounded (and that he was starting to confuse himself), he paused and looked over at her. Her eyebrows were raised and he could tell she was trying to take all this in. when she realized he had stopped talking, she smiled and said, "Keep going."
For the rest of the rain-soaked walk to Hopper's, he explained the ins and outs of semantics and rhetoric to her, even realizing for himself how crazy language is. He wasn't quite sure she was understanding everything, but he was sure she had gotten the basics. He became so wrapped up in telling her all these things and she was so entranced by this concept she had never thought about that neither of them realized they had finally made it to their destination.
The third time it happened was a Sunday morning and he was in the middle of finishing his homework when he heard a knock on his bedroom door and El came bursting in at such a speed that he was immediately worried she was in trouble. But when she ran and jumped onto his bed, landing on her back, he relaxed and soaked in the sight of her looking his happy.
"Teach me something?" she asked excitedly. This time, he knew exactly what she was going to learn. He dropped his assignment, knowing he'd have time to do it later and dragged her to his basement. Pulling up a chair for her, he seated himself in his infamous Dungeon Master seat and opened his D&D manual.
For the next two hours, Mike spilled all of the knowledge he possibly could to her about this fantasy game him and his friends absolutely adored. He sounded like a complete nerd and he knew it, but the fascinated look on El's face was all he needed to know that she didn't care how dorky he sounded. She let him ramble on and on and when she quietly asked if she could join them on their next campaign, he could've kissed her right then and there.
Yes, he was a nerd. But he was her nerd and that's all that mattered.
But then one night, Mike showed up unexpectedly at El's doorstep. It was well past midnight, when a knock on the door had jolted her out of the restless slumber she had been in. Hopper opened the door and as soon as she heard Mrs. Wheeler's voice, her stomach dropped. She scurried out of bed as a list of all the reasons she could possibly be here at this hour ran through her head, each one of them making her more worried than the last. Hopper was blocking the doorway when she ran into the living room and she could only listen to Mrs. Wheeler's words as she tried to peek around him.
"...he just started screaming and screaming," she was saying. "When I ran into his room, he was sitting upright in his bed and he couldn't stop shaking. He looked like he had seen a ghost or something, he was so panicked. I tried to ask him what had happened, but the only thing he would say was 'Eleven' over and over again. I'm so sorry to disturb her, but she isn't still awake by any chance?"
El finally managed to get past Hopper, poking her head out from under his arm. And there he was. His face was turned downwards, but El could see the steady stream of tears running down his cheeks as he bit his lip in shame. He looked so fragile, so...broken in the moonlight, that El had to choke back her own tears that immediately sprung up.
"Mike," she whispered, and Hopper stepped back. Mike's head shot up and when their eyes locked, he let out a sob, covering his mouth when he realized what he had done. Her chest ached for him. It took a lot to get him to cry, and she knew him well enough to know he really didn't like crying in front of people besides her, so whatever happened had to have been terrible.
Ignoring the adults watching them, she threw her arms around him and pulled him in close. His arms wrapped tightly around her back, and she could feel his body trembling. He whispered her name in a strangled voice meant only for her to hear.
"You're okay. You're okay. You're safe. I'm safe. It's okay," she repeated in his ear. She hated seeing him in pain and wished for the hundredth time that she could bear all the nightmares and flashbacks, instead of him having a portion of them.
"My mom doesn't understand and Hopper barely does either. Please...please don't leave me," he said in a shaky, low voice and she understood right away. Releasing him, she slid her hand into his and led him back into her house, refusing to listen to the protests from the adults. Because both Mike and El knew they'll never get it.
He followed her to her room and he hesitantly sat on the edge of her bed, staring down at his hands. She shut the door and climbed onto the bed next to him. Pressuring him into talking was out of the question, so she just sat in silence and watched him trying to compose himself as she rubbed her hand gently up and down his back.
"Nightmare," he finally whispered, wiping at his eyes. El hesitated before saying, "About...about me?" although she suspected she already knew the answer. "Yeah..." he admitted. She winced. Causing Mike pain was the last thing she would ever want to do on this earth.
He sighed and flopped down on her bed, his head landing in her lap. Scrubbing the tears from his eyes, he curled his body in towards her. Her fingers automatically moved through his hair, playing with the ends as his eyelids dropped shut. The serene look that came over his face made her smile and she was almost certain he was asleep, when she heard him mumble something.
"Hey El?"
"Yes?"
"Teach me something?"
She paused. "Mike...you know so much." What could she possibly teach him, the boy who always had an answer? And besides, he was so much better at explaining things than she could ever hope to be.
"I...I just want to hear your voice..." he murmured, lifting his eyes to meet hers.
Her heart shattered at the pleading edge to his words and she lovingly stroked his cheek as she racked her brain for something, anything she could say to him.
He must've seen the struggle on her face, because he began saying "El, I'm sorry, you don't have-"
"Papa taught me something."
Silence.
She forced herself to keep going. "He taught me bad things. He taught me there are bad people. He taught me hurt. And pain. And all the bad feelings."
She felt him place his hand over hers, the one resting on the bed. His touch grounded her as she continued talking.
"He taught me I was nothing. He taught me I was bad."
"El..."
"He taught me I had to do bad things. He taught me I had to go to bad places. He taught me I was good if I did bad things." Her voice began to waver, but she pressed on.
"He taught me I was a monster."
His fingers were now gripping hers and he started to sit up, ready to comfort her, but she gently put a hand on his shoulder. He rested his head on her legs once more, with a concerned look on his face. "El..." he tried again.
"Mike. You taught me something too.
You taught me good things. You taught me happiness and friendship. You taught me Eggos and Dungeons and Dragons. You taught me words and forgiveness. You taught me butterflies," she said, pointing to her stomach, "and fuzzy feelings. You taught me hugs and kisses."
By now, Mike was blushing and a wobbly smile was creeping onto his face.
"You taught me I'm not the monster.
You taught me promises.
You taught me love."
At that, he lifted his head off her lap and wrapped his arms around her, his face burrowing into the crook of her neck. She smiled as she held on tight to him, working up the courage to say what she was about to say.
"Mike," she whispered in his ear.
"I love you."
She's said it before, but each time seems to hold more truth than the last. Her heart pounded, like it did every time she spoke those three words out loud, and patiently awaited the response she knew was coming.
The elated smile spreading across his face when he lifted his head made the fizzy sensation spread all throughout her body. Staring into his perfect eyes tempted her to say it again.
"Michael Wheeler. I. Love. You."
He hooked a finger under her chin and her heart skipped a beat as he gently pulled her in. She could feel his breath on her lips as he tenderly whispered, "Eleven? I love you too."
She doesn't think she'll ever get tired of hearing that.
His kiss holds an intensity that sends sparks all through her body. It's short, but she wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world.
When they pulled back, El was giddy with adrenaline and she found herself giggling, the happiness bubbling out of her as he smiled and pecked her lips one more time.
"I really like saying that to you," Mike murmured, causing her to grin even more. She let out a content sigh and laid down among her pillows, watching as Mike followed suit, positioning himself to face her. They took to just staring at one another, El letting her eyes roam around his face, admiring every feature.
He eventually asked a question that made her pause.
"You don't believe what Papa taught you anymore, right? You know everything he ever said or did to you was wrong?"
Pondering this, she eventually nodded solemnly. A thought suddenly popped into her head, surprising her. However, she was even more surprised when she realized it was true.
"He was wrong.
He hurt me in terrible ways.
But you know what?
I forgive him."
週次パワーステータス
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