章 53: Chapter 54 - Shinobu POV
Shinobu POV
There some minor drama (you can skip if you cringe)
The time of my life, I never expected to have a lover by my side and shared a similar pain of losing someone important. I had been impressed by his ability to adapt and grow further. Though, he always shrugged it off by telling her it was his skills that let him quickly learn.
However, I begged to differ as it wasn't just his skills rather something that I can't quite point my finger at. Once his training was over and left for the Muichiro quarter, I felt anxious.
It was foreign emotion for me that made me want him to stay by my side and learn more about him. Ever since he chose to show me what my life could have been without him had scared me.
I won't hesitate doing it but doesn't I wasn't afraid of seeing myself die as my younger adopted sister fought for her life. I only spent a few weeks with him and already knew that he wasn't manipulative and honest about things.
It would have been easy to use his knowledge to use me and yet provide nearly everything to save me from tragedy. I wanted to thank him but his world is different from mine and there's nothing I could have offered.
Every time he turned from his train made me want to repay him rather than just letting him stay at my mansion. Ryuu who hides a great pain within a carefree smile and humble attitude.
His smile was like mine before I learned about my future. I wonder how much it pains me seeing him hide it and make me act more bold.
I teased him as much as I could to make him vulnerable until he finally agreed to tell me some things about his past. However, he was too ignorant at my advances, blushing like a child that thoroughly enjoyed it.
During that time he trained Muichiro and seeing him tirelessly working on himself made me want to help him. When I learnt that he was going to train under Mitsuri-san, I became anxious for some odd reason.
It's as if I'll lose something by letting him be with another woman. It was only then I realized that I grew to like him. His humble nature and carefree personality made me desire to look deeper.
Something at the back of my head that I won't be the only one beside him. There would be others that would want to be by his side. Though, it was normal for a man to have two to three wives take for example tengen-san.
Regardless, I pondered day and night if my attraction was real for three whole weeks. I told him how I feel in a vague way and as I have predicted, had someone before me.
I tried to hide it feeling devastated. I couldn't be the only one by his side and let him come out with his true feelings. However, I knew that I wanted him to be happy and accepted it.
Times flew by and Ryuu has grown more open to me and even became more bold replying to my teasing. A month has passed training with Mitsuri and I've learned that he took a day break.
I shrugged it off since he deserves a little break for training continuously. However, once I saw his expression, I noticed something was wrong.
It was night when I witnessed him having a cup of wine drinking his heart out and laughing to himself. I would never forget that night listening to his rant while drinking.
"Why did you have to do that!? If you're alive then maybe you had a family or two and mom and dad wouldn't have to struggle!"
I hid close by hearing his drunken scream and the sound of something crashing to see him throwing clay bottle wine that has a thick aroma that no human should consume.
I could see him looking at the sky grimly that night seemed to fall for him. It pains me to look at him and want to run straight to him but I felt hesitant.
I don't why but I knew acting right and then would have ruined something. Then he started a chuckle that grew in loud laughter that seemed to echo in the night.
"It's your birthday today as well as your death anniversary….If you're alive maybe I could have been an uncle right now. Even if I have the power to revive you….it doesn't change the pain of losing you in our life."
His words seem to speak about his brother that I've always heard coming from him. He seems to drink his grief similar to me by hunting Demons. The pain won't go away by doing that alone.
'Reviving my sister…'
I would do anything to revive my sister who died 2 years ago which made me wonder for how long had Ryuu's brother been dead.
"It's been exactly 10 years if I was in my world. But I swear I'll revive you and maybe hook you up with a few women! I think you'll get jealous once you see my Shinobu. She's gorgeous and alluring and likes to bully me..."
Ryuu said his opinion without a filter. I couldn't help but smile hearing his compliment and wary smile at the last part.
"Even if that's the case she's a strong headed woman who acts come and carefree yet also gentle and emotional. I've been trying my best to give my all but you bastard brother never said having a relationship was this hard! It pains me whenever I don't get the chance to be with her!"
He cursed his brother that made me smile and understand that he was also in pain every time he's not around with her. Ryuu was so kind that he thought of others before himself.
"You've told me that having a harem would be cool but it's really hard….I'm holding myself back since, you know Justine? Yeah I want to give her my first but I know it would hurt shinobu being some side woman."
Now I vaguely understand why his desire for a harem which he mentions often was because it was his brother's own desire. I felt happy that he was thinking about how I feel.
It is frustrating for me to fall for a man who already has another lover. Maybe, I could have found other men that would only love me and yet I could see that Ryuu won't abandon anyone because it's his nature.
I decided to approach him, who was sitting on the ground. With his elbow resting in his kneecap and saw him turn to look at her with his eyes seemingly wet from tears.
"S-Shinobu…"
"Shhhh...let me just embrace you."
He looked at me bewildered before I wrapped my arms around him, calming him down. I could smell the sting aroma of the alcohol but kept my embrace.
"Y-You let go since I reeked of alcohol."
"I'm sorry…."
I apologize because he paused and stared at me confused as to why I apologized. I only gave a warm smile, kissed his lips and tasted the alcohol.
"I'm sorry that you thought you're alone doing everything. I never knew that you're afraid of hurting me. Remember I've chosen this and I could always leave you but I won't."
He seems to have no plan on moving and his hand touches my arms as he silently looks down. Ryuu felt slightly sober from her presence.
"I know….but I always thought that life could be easy like fiction I read but no. Those are not life but lies. I hope you don't regret your decision in the end."
"After I learn how you truly felt then I won't."
I tighten my hug as the two of us silently enjoy the night. I was hesitant at first but I've decided to ask him.
"How….how did he pass away?"
Ryuu fell silent for a moment hesitant to speak about but decided to tell the truth.
"My brother was someone who sold drugs who gained a large amount of money without any idea since it was his trusted friend who gave the job but eventually he was betrayed and used as some stepping stone."
He clenched his fist in anger that I could feel his desire to make revenge since I was the same with Demons. I want to help him and punish them for hurting my Ryuu-kun. We stared at the star, having grown more to understand each other.
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