章 234: Broadcast

Multiple high profile individuals of the Underworld sat watching Caesar's weapon test in various places around the world. The poison gas was certainly potent, but the point had already been made. So why was Caesar taking so long to start speaking to them again and make his sales pitch?

The screen finally changed, but it wasn't the sight of the mad clown scientist they were presented with.

"Hello! You might be wondering where Boss Caesar has gone? Well, he is currently indisposed on the toilet, so I'm taking over!" A woman in a hazmat suit said cheerfully.

A red haired man wearing lipstick snorted at her words. "Somebody is making a big move, eh? I could swear I know that voice from somewhere, but I can't remember who… Do you know, Killer?"

"Hmm, maybe? I'm not sure, but if you can't remember it probably isn't someone worth remembering, right Captain?" Killer answered.

"Perhaps, but it feels important somehow. Oh well, I'm sure it'll sort itself out later." Eustass Kid said, casting aside his ponderings for now. "Let's go finish the preparations, I'm getting antsy from all this sitting around!"

On the screen, the woman continued. "Oh dear, I was going to present the chemical weapon to all you scumbags- er, valued customers, but it seems that Boss Caesar's ass gas escaped the bathroom and killed all the test subjects. What a terrible, terrible shame! I guess this means we'll have to postpone the test until a future date, but not to worry! I'll make sure that Boss Caesar doesn't have his favorite bean and broccoli burritos before the presentation next time, okay? Goodbye~!"

The broadcast abruptly ended leaving many of the Underworld brokers confused or angry. The more intelligent ones among them realized something was really off about it. Not that they would discuss this odd event with anyone else, after all information was powers and most certainly wasn't freely given.

A giant grouper fishman with long tusks on either side of his head stared at the static of the projection. His name, or rather his title, was Jack, an Allstar of the Emperor Kaido's crew and one of the man's closest confidants.

Jack narrowed his eyes in suspicion for several moments before finally saying "I didn't know Caesar had bowel problems, he has my pity." He knew all too well the misery of your favorite food not sitting well in your stomach; he had the same problem with elephant steaks himself. Queen ate red bean soup all the time and never had any trouble at all, the lucky bastard.

A few immediately recognised the woman in the broadcast as Harpin D. Cherry. Tamago and Pekoms were mildly amused by Cherry's antics, but also glad to have something good to report to Big Mom. No doubt she'sd be interested in snatching Caesar from the Straw Hats if ever given the opportunity, especially with the clown's expertise in poisonous weapons of mass destruction, something that would come in handy against the Neo Marines.

Another was Rob Lucci, who clenched his teeth remembering the humiliation he suffered at Cherry's hands. Ultimately it didn't matter, though, because in the end the winner was the one who was still alive and he would be the one who triumphed.

He really needed to find a way to relieve some stress. His "promotion" to CP0 had him surrounded by idiot celestial dragons and he wasn't allowed to kill any of them no matter how obnoxious they were.

Rob Lucci sighed, maybe he could find a slave to execute for "trying to escape".

In another room in a certain Kingdom, a man who looked to be made of snot stood up and made his way through many corridors and found himself in a courtyard with a pool where a man wearing pink feathers was relaxing on a couch with several beautiful, scantily clad women serving him. Next to him sat a little girl with turquoise hair and an odd monocle eating grapes. The girl winced each time she swallowed a grape and rubbed her bandaged throat that pulled at the heartstrings of anyone who saw it.

"Young Master, I think something strange is going on with Caesar." The snotty man said.

The man on the couch, Shichibukai Doflamingo, felt his smile slightly falter but didn't vanish just yet. "How so?"

"His presentation for that new weapon of his was interrupted and shut down, supposedly by one of his subordinates. However, the woman wasn't one of his centaurs, so I think she was a fraud." The snot man, Trebol, explained.

The rest of Doflamingo's smile was wiped off of his face and he immediately picked up his den den mushi and attempted to contact his trusted subordinate, Vergo, who was on Punk Hazard.

*Purururururu!* *Gacha*

"Hello, this is the shitty restaurant. Can I take your shitty order?" answered the snail in an unfamiliar voice.

Veins appeared on Doflamingo's forehead with an odd creaking sound. "Who the hell is this?"

"That's rather rude. Shouldn't you introduce yourself first before asking who I am?" the voice asked in a casual, arrogant tone.

Doflamingo's officers were staring at the den den mushi in disbelief at the audacity of the man on the other side.

An ominous cackle poured out from Doflamingo's mouth, one that his men knew meant he was royally pissed off and liable to torture the cause of that laughter to death. "If you don't know who I am, then you're in for a rude awakening. Stay right where you are, so we can continue this conversation in person."

*Click* Doflamingo hung up the den den mushi, then dialed it once more. This time trying to contact the spy he left to monitor Caesar.

*Puru- Gacha* "Hello, this is the shitty-" *Click*

The little girl looked mildly concerned after that, though it didn't deter her from stuffing grapes into her mouth. She asked in a somewhat scratchy voice, "Is big sis okay?"

"If she isn't okay, then I'll bring back some new toys for you to play with." Doflamingo said before he flew into the air at great speed.

If Doflamingo's subordinates died for him, that would be fine, but it was wholly unacceptable for them to die pointlessly. If Monet and Vergo were still alive, he'd have to punish them accordingly for not only failing but also not even taking the enemy out with themselves.

As invisible strings pulled him through the air, he pondered what terrible things he could do to the enemy's families in front of them in order to mellow out his bad mood.

…

"What the hell are you doing?!" Law snatched the two den den mushi out of Sanji's hands, but the damage had already been done. Doflamingo was on his way here right now.

It would still take a number of hours for the Shichbukai to travel this far, but even that was too close for comfort for Law.

"Isn't it fine? We're leaving anyway." Luffy said dismissively. He, at least, thought the 'shitty restaurant' bit was hilarious.

Law planted his face into his palms and briefly contemplated stabbing the Straw Hats in the back right now whilst Cherry was off 'treasure hunting', as she put it.

The silver lining, he supposed, was that the Straw Hats had enough muscle on their crew to power through a bad situation if it came up and it was true that they were pretty much set to sail whenever.

"While subtlety has never been my strong suit, I have to agree with Law-dono that we shouldn't taunt the enemy haphazardly." Jinbe said, giving Law some hope that maybe this alliance wasn't so bad after all.

"Aw, but haphazard taunting is my favorite pastime!" Cherry said as she landed near the group, causing Law's hopes to be expertly dashed.

"I thought your favorite pastime was nearly dying?" Robin teased with a mocking smile that made Cherry pout.

"I've never 'nearly' died! I either die or survive within a comfortable margin of lethal damage!" Cherry retorted with a harrumph.

"I've finished treating all the children! We can leave them with the marines without any worries now." Chopper said, finishing up the last of the remaining tasks they had on this island.

Some tearful goodbyes were exchanged with the children and even the G5 marines. Then they finally set sail to leave the extreme wasteland of an island.

"So why are you on our ship?" Sanji asked the samurai and his son.

"Don't be that way, we're going the same direction regardless." The samurai said shamelessly. "Besides, I owe you filthy pirates a debt for helping my piece my body back together and returning my son to me, and that's something I cannot accept."

"That's a rude way to say thank you." Zoro commented.

"Introductions are in order!" The samurai said loudly, ignoring Zoro's comment. "I am a samurai of Wano country, Kin'emon, and this is my son, Momonosuke!"

They both gave a short bow.

"Shishishi, just let them come along, the more the merrier!" Luffy said, so the others could only acquiesce.

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章 235: Sock

"Are you sure you want to leave Vergo and Monet there for Doflamingo to find? He'll just bring them back and they'll bolster his forces, right? At the least you should have taken their hearts with you as insurance." Robin said to Law.

"No, Doflamingo wouldn't accept his subordinates being at my mercy and might just kill them himself to remove the risk of betrayal, however slim that chance may be. This also shows him that even his officers mean nothing to us and it projects our strength, thus increasing the pressure of the threat we pose." Law explained.

"We'll have to take your word for it, since you seem to know Doflamingo better than any of us do, by which I mean not at all." Franky remarked.

"I've interacted with him on a few occasions, but I must say he wears his mask of arrogance well enough that I could not gauge anything about him." Jinbe said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Nevermind all that serious business!" Cherry said. "Who wants to eat this devil fruit?"

Cherry held aloft a dark blue-violet apple with swirl patterns on its surface. "It's a zoan fruit, specifically the Sala Sala Fruit, Model: Axolotl. They're aquatic animals, so even if you fall into the ocean you won't drown if you're transformed. Its most notable characteristic is its extreme regenerative ability which can regrow limbs, or repair spinal, organ, and even brain damage to an extent. Other than that, though, it isn't a particularly powerful fruit by Zoan standards."

Jinbe dismissed the idea of eating it immediately, which was understandable given his primary fighting technique was fishman karate. Rather, even if that wasn't the case he wouldn't give up swimming for any devil fruit.

That left only Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Nami remaining as the only non devil fruit users.

"We're already mostly devil fruit users already. If the shitty cook or I ate it, that'd be one less person to save any of your hammers from sinking, and we can't count on Usopp or Nami to do it with their weak muscles." Zoro commented reasonably.

""What did you say, you bastard?!"" Usopp and Sanji shouted at him in unison. Usopp to defend his physique and Sanji to defend Nami's honor from insult no matter how well founded the observation was.

Although she was tempted by the regenerative capability, Nami didn't really like the idea of becoming a slimy frog-lizard. Usopp on the other hand, thought back to the times he got his ass kicked and found the idea of healing more quickly very appealing. Although a devil fruit that aided his sniping would be the ideal if he was to take on the curse, how likely was it that he'd run into such a thing?

"You don't have to decide right this instant, Usopp." Cherry said, seeing his indecision. "And nobody has to eat it at all if none of us want it, since we could sell it for a pretty penny. Lot's a big, fat piggy banks would cough up a hell of a lot of cash for the chance to restore their bodies to their whole state."

Nami's eyes flashed with Beri Signs and she leapt towards the fruit in Cherry's hand, only for it to be moved away from her grasping greedy hands before they could snatch it.

"We need the money, Cherry, so give it over! There'll be other devil fruit in the future, but they won't all be worth a billion, no, TEN billion Beri!" Nami said, almost drooling just thinking about it.

"You can't buy happiness, Nami." Cherry said.

"I don't need to buy happiness! Money makes me happy just having it!" Nami countered, swinging for the fruit again.

Cherry put her other palm on Nami's forehead, leaving her looking like a child flailing her arms desperately. "Do we need to have an intervention? I think Nami might be an addict?"

Chopper looked genuinely concerned, which prompted Nami to snap out of her slightly maddened state and blushed in embarrassment. 'What am I doing?! I'm a thief, damn it, not a purse snatcher! I'll take it when she isn't paying attention!'

"Why don't you put it in your spear? Then we'll have a new friend!" Luffy suggested. Nami looked at him angrily like he had betrayed her.

Chopper, Cabernet, and Merry looked like they liked that idea, but Cherry shut it down immediately. "No, I neither want nor need another Zoan in my arsenal. Not to mention it wouldn't be nearly as smart as Cabernet or Merry are, as they had their own spirits to start with. I'd only consider it if I got my hands on a Mythical Zoan, like a dragon or something."

Cherry turned her gaze back to Nami. "By the way, I've got enough information to vastly improve your Clima-Tact. When I'm done with it, even the ordinary heat, cold, and static balls will be formidable weapons. Naturally this means you'll be able to create bigger, better weather effects, and much faster as well."

Nami's eyes lit up, completely forgetting about 'her' devil fruit. "How so? I've got it pretty fine tuned already, I'm not sure how you'll improve it further, let alone by a large extent."

"It'll be similar to being an artificial devil fruit, only I'll skip the medium of a fruit and just put the effect directly into the staff." Cherry explained briefly.

"Okay, but you need to make it adjustable if it's going to be much stronger. Control is more important than power." Nami said, already doing calculations for what she could accomplish with a stronger Clima-Tact.

This would be Cherry's first attempt to create a finished product with Vital Energy Inscriptions. She'd been practicing with throw away pieces for a few months and she had a decent grasp on it now. In the case of the Clima-Tact, she'd be using what she learn from her very in depth study of the Rumble Rumble Fruit inside of Sakura Tengoku, as well as her understanding of heat and cold from Ace's Flame Flame Fruit, Akainu's Magma Magma Fruit, Aokiji's Ice Ice Fruit, and finally Monet's Snow Snow Fruit.

With this abundance of information as her disposal, the Clima-Tact was the perfect choice to create a unique and complex inscription with multiple effects. She would practice on some disposable items first, though, of course. Perhaps even make some ammunition for Usopp to launch at people?

Cherry came out of her thoughts and lightly slapped Nami's thieving hand that was reaching for the fruit. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something, Luffy."

"Hm? What do you want to ask?" Luffy asked, lying on the ground and picking his nose.

"Whose vivre card do you have in your hat? The one sewn into the red strap." Cherry asked.

Luffy took off his hat and found what she was referring to. He scratched his head in confusion and said "I don't know, but it feels like it's important for some reason?"

…

"Huff… Huff… Huff…" Rock'em Sock'em the sock monkey breathed heavily as he hid behind a barrel in an alley. In the street, a few of the Doflamingo pirates ran past the alley shouting in consternation for having lost their prey.

Rock'em Sock'em heaved a sigh of relief as their voices disappeared in the distance. He looked down at his hand that was soaked in dry blood. He didn't feel good about stabbing the green haired girl in the throat, but he was desperate and she wasn't as young as she appeared anyway.

"Psst." A whispered voice came from further in the alley. Rock'em Sock'em turned to see a tin soldier toy peeking around the corner at him.

"Come with me if you want to live." The tin soldier whispered to him and disappeared behind the corner.

Rock'em Sock'em didn't know if he could trust the tin soldier. The other toys were slaves to Doflamingo, but the tin soldier could have simply ratted him out. He'd take his chances and see what the tin soldier wanted. If he was an enemy, then he'd crush him like a tin can, or he'd try at least. He wasn't sure he could do much with these pitifully weak sock arms.

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