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9.48% Justice And Desire / Chapter 23: | Perfect Ambience

章 23: | Perfect Ambience

𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀

I took a deep breath and sank back into the seat, placing my hand on my forehead. This was why I didn't want to come home. Everything always went haywire whenever I was around my family. For so long, I'd denied my father by not joining the family business. I thought by not having any part in it, I would have some semblance of a normal life. But it seemed like no matter what I did, my life would never be my own. 

    Never. 

    Antonio turned back and looked out over the road. "What happened between you and Enzo?" 

    I closed my eyes and exhaled. "You're the genius, why don't you tell me?" 

    "I'm serious, Vanessa." 

    "So am I." 

    "Both of you, stop," Daniel bellowed. " You guys are giving me a headache."

    "And the cop?" Antonio asked, blatantly ignoring Daniel. 

    "Oh, my God!" I pulled my palms down my face in frustration. "Nothing is going on with the cop. Enzo was being a jerk, and James just—" 

    "James?" Antonio interrupted. "So, you're on a first-name basis with the cop now?" 

    I gaped at him, partly because I couldn't believe he was giving me the third degree…and also because I had nothing to say to that. Nothing. There was no way I could explain how Detective Gunner and I got to a first-name basis. It just kind of happened. Great. Just great. 

    Again, I turned my gaze out the window, flat-out ignoring Antonio and his dark stare of disapproval. Now that I said his name, James was all I thought about. When he pinned me up against that damn wall, I wanted nothing more than for him to tear my clothes off like a damn caveman. The way his dark gaze raked over my face, the look of pure sexual hunger reflecting in his hazel irises, made everything south of my navel pulse with need. 

    God, I needed to get him out of my mind. I took my phone from my purse, and I stopped breathing. There was James' face in a little bubble in the corner of my screen, signalling a new message—from him. My heart wasn't beating. No, it was pounding against my ribs like it wanted out. Like it needed air.  

    I took a deep breath then hesitantly clicked on the icon, and up popped the message. 

      

    James: 31 Unity Ct #4. Let's finish what we started. 

      

    Oh, my God, did he send me his address? Holy shit. My heart tried to force its way up my throat, my stomach closes behind it. And right on cue, I rubbed my thighs together thinking about everything he made me feel back at the club when he was inches away from kissing me. Every fibre of my being wanted to taste his lips and wanted to know what his tongue would feel like dancing with mine.

I wanted him to pin me against that wall with his hard body until I became one with the damn concrete. For a few seconds, we were completely swept up by the moment, utterly captivated by each other. But when I felt his warm breath against my wet lips, knowing I was a split second away from tasting him, I stopped. I was too consumed, too entranced by him, by what I was feeling, and the last time I felt that way, I made the worst mistake of my life. 

    I glanced at Antonio, thinking about the anger and disappointment he must be feeling. It seemed like that day had come, the day the biggest mistake I ever made would come back to taunt me. 

    When I looked back at my phone, I let my finger hover over the keyboard. Everything inside me was screaming for me to go to him, to take what I needed from him. To forget about all the rules and live my life for me, for what I wanted, even if it was only for one night. 

    But I couldn't. 

    Unfortunately, my life was not my own. I might not agree with or like the rules we were forced to live by, but this was my family. Was I so selfish I would jeopardize everything, risk hurting my family because of one detective who had the undeniable talent of getting me wet and needy with a single goddamn glance? 

    No. Yes. 

    Shit. 

    Daniel parked the car in front of the house and switched off the ignition. The heaviness of the silence around the three of us was slowly suffocating me, and I couldn't stay in the damn car any longer. 

    I opened the door and got out. Antonio jumped out and called, "Vanessa, wait." 

    "What?" I turned to face him. 

    The sullen look on his face gave me this weird feeling of warning that moved across the back of my neck. 

    "Dad needs to know." 

    I frowned. "Excuse me?" 

    He closed the passenger side door and started toward me. "Dad needs to know about whatever happened between you and Enzo." 

    "Antonio, man," Daniel started, "don't be an asshole." 

    Antonio looked at Daniel. "An asshole? Am I being an asshole for trying to protect the family?" 

    Daniel slammed his door shut. "No, you're being an asshole for not wanting to protect your damn sister." 

    "Can you both not see that that's exactly what I'm trying to do?" Antonio bellowed.  

    "No, you're not. You're being an ass." 

    "Fuck you, Daniel. You see, that's your problem. You don't have a loyal bone in your body. Did she fuck you up so bad you couldn't give a shit about your own goddamn family anymore?" 

    Daniel rushed toward Antonio, stopping only a few feet away. His eyes were wild, angry orbs staring at Antonio like he wanted to tear his head off. "Don't talk about shit you know nothing about." 

    Antonio met his glare. "Maybe if you were a little more loyal to the family, I wouldn't have to bring shit up." 

    Daniel snorted. "Loyal? You think you're being loyal right now, Antonio?" 

    "Yes," Antonio answered without hesitation. The tension was so thick, I was sure this night was going to end with my two brothers beating the shit out of each other.  

    Daniel took an intimidating step toward Antonio, and it felt like my heart was about to rip through my chest.  

    "She's your fucking sister, Antonio. You have no idea what that son of bitch did to her, yet you're standing here wanting to expose her wounds, her shame, for everyone to see…for Dad to see. Where's the loyalty in that?" 

    Antonio stepped back and looked at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. And then, as if it was fate, Mother Nature chose that exact moment to start raining. It was as if she thought the cold, hard drops of water, and flashes of thunder would be the perfect ambience for this epically disastrous scene. And who knew? Maybe she was right.


章 24: | Going Insane

𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀

My tears threatened to escape, and I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep myself from crying. 

    "What did he do to you, Vanessa?" I heard Antonio ask softly, his eyes wide with concern. 

    I couldn't look at him, so I let my gaze drop to the ground beneath my feet and wrapped my arms around my chest. I knew what he had to be thinking, and it was nothing like that. It was worse. For three years, I carried this burden, knowing my mistake would one day come out in the open. And here I was, unable to keep my secret any longer. 

    Antonio moved closer. "Vanessa did he—" 

    "No," I interrupted him. "No, he didn't." I still couldn't look at him. The guilt was too much, tearing at my soul. Admitting this to Antonio was almost as bad as it would be admitting it to my father. 

    "Then what did he do?" 

    Finally, I gathered the courage to look up and glanced between Daniel and Antonio. A tear slipped down my cheek, and I took a deep breath. 

    "Enzo didn't do anything to me that I didn't want him to." 

    And then the dam broke. Tears stormed relentlessly down my face, and my chest started to close in, growing tighter, making it almost impossible to breathe. 

    I can't do this. I can't face this. Not now. 

    I darted toward the car and pushed Daniel out of the way when he tried to reach for me. I was in the car and reversing out of the driveway so fast, that neither Antonio nor Daniel had any time to stop me. 

    While I sped down the streets, I wiped at my face as tears kept on coming. I couldn't remember the last time I cried this hard.  

    Oh, wait. Yes, I can. New Year's Eve, three years ago, when I realized I was exactly what Enzo called me—a little lamb. A little lamb who trusted everyone, who followed anyone willing to lead. A little lamb who didn't know any better, naïve and weak. A little lamb who would follow the devil to the slaughterhouse because maybe, just maybe the world wasn't so fucked up, and there might be something good waiting behind the door you were about to walk through. And once you walked through that door, realizing you'd been tricked, you didn't fight for survival. You just lay down and stared at the knife that was about to slice through your throat and let your soul bleed out of you within a matter of seconds. 

    That's me, Vanessa Bologna …the little lamb.

*****

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

It had been hours since I sent her my address.  

    What the hell was I thinking? Oh, right…I wasn't. My raging hard-on had completely ruined my ability to think like a fucking adult. All I could think about was giving my cock what it wanted. Her.  

    She had read my message. Her little face icon was there right next to my message. But she didn't reply—which was probably for the best. 

    For whom? My dick would ask. 

    For everyone, you fucking huge piece of flesh that tends to make me act like a fucking caveman! 

    Oh, my God, I was losing my mind. 

    I gulped down my entire beer and slammed it on the counter, the frustration getting the better of me. Even though there were a hundred reasons for me to stay the hell away from her, to forget her, I only had one reason not to…because I didn't want to. I didn't want to stay away from her. I didn't want to forget about her.

  

    And even after seeing the threat in Enzo's face, I still didn't give a fuck. Why did it feel like I would happily go through the devil if it meant I could have her? That thought alone was proof enough that I was insane. 

    I glanced at my watch and saw it was almost one a.m. I let out a breath, trying to push the images of her out of my head, then glanced down the hall, thinking tonight might be a good night to try to sleep in my bed for a change. 

    Just as I started toward the bedroom, there was a faint knock on the door. My heart and my cock reacted simultaneously. My heart, because who would be knocking on my door at one in the morning? And my cock, because…it might be her. 

    I walked slowly to the door, my instincts sending me into automatic stealth mode, thinking this might be the threat Enzo promised by staring at me with his freaky fucking eyes. The best part? I didn't even have my gun. That son of a bitch commander asshole took my gun and badge, and now all I had to defend myself with were my fast-flying fists, hard as fuck thighs, and my boyish good looks. Super.  

    I braced my hands on both sides of the door and leaned forward to look through the peephole, my heart jackhammering like crazy inside my chest.  

    Motherfucker. 

    I flicked the latch and unlocked the door, flinging it open. "Vanessa?" 

    She glanced up, her clothes and hair dripping wet. It looked like she decided to take a hike in the goddamn rain. But, by God, she never looked hotter. 

    "James." With pleading eyes, she stared at me, and the animal in me reacted.  

    I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside before slamming the door shut and pinning her against it. Dark, deep-set eyes stared up at me, and I saw the hunger swirl around in those chocolate irises. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, and they made me want to lose all control.  

    "What are you doing here?" 

    "You invited me." 

    "You didn't reply to my message. I didn't think you'd come." My gaze flitted from her eyes to her mouth, her lips glistening with temptation. 

    "I wasn't planning on coming." 

    "What changed your mind?" 

    She lifted her chin, and our gazes locked. "I decided I wanted to finish what we started." And that was the moment I lost control, slamming my lips onto hers.  

    The second our mouths collided, we moaned in unison as electricity shot between us like lightning bolts of desire and passion. Her lips were cold, yet her mouth warm, tasting like mint and tequila. I had no idea what was happening; all I knew was I didn't want it to stop.  

   


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