章 31: More Messing Around
A loud groan escaped Kenpachi's mouth as he slowly opened his eyes and looked around in confusion while slowly raising his upper body from the ground.
"Urgh, where am I?"
"Pretty much the same place where your fight with Yuna-sensei ended, but now inside a small house."
Hearing someone talking to him, Kenpachi looked at the source of the voice and found a woman with long black hair and white eyes with her upper body sprawled on a table, looking at him with a neutral expression.
Kenpachi briefly scanned her with her eyes before he realized who he was looking at.
"You were one of the people spectating the fight."
"I'm honestly impressed you remembered me. The name is Hisoka, by the way."
Kenpachi simply nodded his head, not really caring about Hisoka, as his eyes continued wandering through the room.
"Where is Yachiru?"
"Which one? The little girl or Captain Unohana?"
"The little girl."
Hisoka chuckled in amusement as she pointed her finger at the Zanpakuto leaning against the wall next to Kenpachi.
"Shouldn't you know that best?"
At first, Kenpachi was confused about what Hisoka was talking about, but after realizing what was going on and remembering the battle, he had just experienced a massive smile appeared on his face.
"Right, it was like that. To think she was my Zanpakuto Spirit all these years."
Hisoka nodded her head in agreement with Kenpachi's reminiscent words. However, she was somewhat surprised when a glint of sadness briefly passed through his face, confusing her for a short moment before a wry smile appeared on her face.
"Since you can use your Bankai, you can call her at any time."
A glint of realization passed through Kenpachi's eyes; moments later, an excited little girl appeared in the middle of the room.
"Ken-chan! Did you have fun!? You did, didn't you!? Hehe, that was the best battle ever! Ah, I didn't have a chance to thank bis sis Yuna yet. Gotta go!"
As soon as she appeared, she immediately started babbling away and was just about to leave the room to find Yuna when Hisoka grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and raised her up like a kitten.
"Sensei is currently... err... busy. You can thank her later."
"Ehh? No fair! I wanna go now!"
Hearing Yachiru's stubborn words, Hisoka simply shook her head and tossed her at Kenpachi, who quickly caught her.
"Sensei is currently busy doing... adult activities with Captain Unohana and Rangiku."
At first, Kenpachi tilted his head in confusion, but moments later, he realized what was going on, causing his eyebrows to rise in question. He wasn't expecting that Retsu had an interest in that kind of stuff. He always assumed she to be like him, only interested in fighting. However, moments later, he simply shrugged his shoulder, no longer caring about this matter.
"Be obedient, Yachiru; you can thank her later."
A pout appeared on Yachiru's face, but she nevertheless nodded her head before climbing onto Kenpachi's body like he was a tree before sitting down on his shoulder.
"Fine, but I demand more cocoa!"
A warm smile to appeared on Hisoka's face as she nodded her head and got up from her sitting position.
"How long was I out?"
She was just about to leave to get more drinks when Kenpachi asked another question, which Hisoka answered with a shrug of her shoulders.
"I'm not entirely sure, as there are no clocks here, but I would guess around three hours."
Kenpachi hummed in acknowledgment before he noticed something else that was rather weird.
"Now that I think about it, how come you aren't afraid of me? I don't really care what other people think about me, but people under the Lieutenant level are usually afraid of me, so I'm rather curious why you aren't."
Hearing yet another question from Kenpachi, Hisoka briefly wondered whether he had always been this talkative, but she quickly concluded that the likely cause was his extraordinarily good mood after fighting Yuna. So, with a shrug of her shoulders, she answered Kenpachi's question.
"It's because I have nothing to fear from you."
Kenpachi's eyebrows rose as his aura grew a bit sharper.
"Hoo? And why is that?"
"Because I'm much weaker than you."
As soon as Kenpachi heard Hisoka's answer, his rising aura collapsed as his shoulders sagged, almost causing Yachiru to fall off. Right, he wouldn't bother cutting down weaker people that didn't oppose him. If he were to do so, he might as well start attacking insects, random wildlife, and stones.
So, without further interruptions, Hisoka left the room to satisfy Yachiru's demands, leaving Kenpachi and her to themselves.
Seeing Hisoka leaving the room, Kenpachi took his sword and inspected it.
"Haa~ I want to fight her again~"
"You can't, Ken-chan! You are still hurt!"
Kenpachi could only smile wryly while nodding his head when he heard Yachiru's words. Indeed, his whole body was currently hurting, undoubtedly the aftereffect of using his Bankai.
"Yes, it's too early to fight her again. Besides..."
He raised his sword higher as his eyes filled with determination, and a twisted grin split his face.
"... before I fight her again, I need to get stronger. Much stronger."
Meanwhile, above the underground gave, utter chaos had broken loose within Seireitei.
First, it only started snowing softly over around an area of a few square kilometers, which was a weird phenomenon, especially considering it was far from winter, but considering there was a Captain that could control ice, people weren't too surprised.
However, when a raging blizzard suddenly engulfed all of Seireitei, people started panicking, resulting in the Head Captain giving out a command to find Captain Hitsugaya, the one who could control ice, and either stop him from whatever he was doing or, in case he wasn't doing anything, to stop whatever was going on.
The result? Captain Hitsugaya was easily found within his Divisions compound, looking at the falling snow in a daze. Only after shaking him seriously did he manage to get out of his stupor, and as soon as he heard the Captain Commander's order, he activated his Bankai and flew in the air.
Unfortunately, he couldn't control what was going on in the slightest. He could neither influence the weather nor could he handle the falling snow, which bewildered him greatly.
So, he started communicating with his Zanpakuto only to receive an answer laced with fear that clearly stated that it was unwilling even to try seizing control of a single snowflake, confusing Captain Hitsugaya even more.
'Wasn't my Zanpakuto supposed to be the strongest ice-type Zanpakuto? What is going on? What kind of phenomenon is this?'
However, before that question could be answered, the blizzard calmed down and returned to its initial form: A small patch of land with snow gently falling from the sky.
Seeing that everything had calmed down, Captain Hitsugaya was confident that he could remove the last patches of the snowstorm, but yet again, his ability failed, not working in the slightest.
"'WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"
Despite yelling out that question, no one answered him as everyone looked at the constant snowfall in bewilderment.
Just like that, another two days passed as Yuna indulged herself in... other activities.
As soon as Kenpachi was healed, he left the underground cave, Yuna not really caring about that due to his shitty sense of direction and general thirst for another battle. She was certain Kenpachi wouldn't disclose her hiding spot.
Closely following Kenpachi, Hisoka left as well, as she could no longer stand the constant noise generated by Yuna's... activities. Yet again, Yuna didn't care about her leaving, as she knew that Hisoka wouldn't be stupid enough to betray her.
Luckily, Hisoka wasn't important enough for someone to notice her absence in the first place, while Kenpachi wasn't gone long enough for people to notice his absence. Everyone just assumed he spent the whole time randomly running around the city, trying to find his target.
Retsu and Rangiku, on the other hand, decided to stay inside the hideout for now. Both of them were already "confirmed" to have gotten kidnapped, so they decided to spend some time in the hideout, relaxing their bodies and minds.
After having some fun with Retsu and Rangiku, Yuna decided to yet again cause some mischief inside Seireitei, causing its inhabitants to shiver without knowing the cause. And around an hour later, Yuna found her target: The Omaeda clan. Or, to be more precise: Marechiyo Omaeda.
Apparently, the Omaeda clan was one of Seireitei's noble clans, making them a decent target in the first place, but Marechiyo was a little bit of a special case. Somehow, he managed to make it to the position of Lieutenant of the Second Division, which specializes in stealth, while being heavily overweight. So, Yuna smelled foul play, thinking that he got the position through his family.
Obviously, that wasn't certain, so Yuna decided to test him a little and see if he had adequate skills for that position, and if not... well, there were a few Kido spells and techniques Yuna would like to test out.
So, after stealthily looking around the compound for a few more minutes, Yuna found the person she was looking for. Unfortunately, he was accompanied by a petite woman with black hair and gray eyes wearing a Captain's robe.
'Captain Soi Fon, huh? Not sure what I should do about her. From what I have heard, she has a strict no, nonsense attitude, which isn't really my type. Oh well, in the current situation, I can't do anything about her anyway. She is neither as free-spirited as Rangiku nor can I lure her with battles like Retsu. Oh well, guess I'll test out the big boy and leave.'
As she finished those thoughts, she appeared behind Marechiyo at a speed she was confident Rangiku would notice and threw a punch at his face. Since both of them were Lieutenants, Marechiyoshould at least be able to detect an approach at that level.
Just before Yuna's fist could reach his face, it was intercepted by a hand. However, that hand, unfortunately, didn't belong to Marechiyo, but Soi Fon instead, causing Yuna to shake her head.
"To think the intruder would dare to sneak attack someone, in my presence. You are either confident, stupid, or insane."
"Mah, I'll take 'confident' and 'insane'. You can give 'stupid' to your Lieutenant. Seriously, I half expected it, but he really bought himself into his position, didn't he?"
Naturally, Marechiyo was outraged hearing Yuna's claim and angrily pointed his finger at her while she disengaged Soi Fon.
"What!? Nonsense, I got this position fair and square!"
As soon as he finished speaking, Yuna snorted in disdain while shaking her head.
"You didn't even notice such a mediocre stealth attack. No matter how I look at it, someone that unaware of his surrounding has no place in a stealth force."
Hearing Yuna's words, Soi Fon had some doubts bubbling inside as she glanced at Marechiyo. Or rather, she glanced at his bulging belly.
'When he got promoted, he certainly had what it took to get the position, but is that still the case? Hasn't that belly been getting bigger?'
A shiver went through Marechiyo's spine as Soi Fon glared at his belly.
"O-Oi, Captain, you aren't actually taking this intruder's words to heart, are you?"
"Not really, but she certainly is making a good point. But why do I have to block a sneak attack directed at you? Did I suddenly turn from your Captain into your babysitter? After we capture this woman, you can look forward to some very intense training sessions."
Marechiyo's eyes widened in horror as soon as Soi Fon informed him about the additional training before he glared at Yuna angrily.
"Damnit, this is all because of you!"
As he finished speaking, he unsheathed his blade and held it in front of him as it started glowing.
"[Crush them, Gegetsuburi]"
As soon as he finished speaking, his Zanpakuto turned into a giant metal ball with spikes attached to it, dumbfounding Yuna.
'What the hell is that supposed to do? Does he throw it? Or maybe he uses it like a fancy rook in close combat?'
[Both sound pretty stupid, that thing must have some kind of unique ability.]
'Right, everything else doesn't make sense.'
While Yuna was chatting with Kurama, Marechiyo bent his knees, and moments later, he vanished and reappeared behind Yuna using [Flash Step], his Zanpakuto held high above his head, ready to smash it down.
"YOU ARE ACTUALLY USING IT LIKE A FANCY ROCK!!!"
"YOU IDIOT, STOP!!!"
Unfortunately, Yuna and Soi Fon yelled at the same time, preventing Marechiyo from hearing what his Captain said.
Although Yuna was genuinely shocked by the silly method, Marechiyo fought, in the end, he simply wasn't her opponent. So, she merely raised her hand, careful not to hit one of the spikes on Marechiyo's weapon, and easily caught it. Simultaneously, she moved her other and smacked the hilt of her sword into his side, making him faint.
Seeing her Lieutenant getting one-shot, Soi Fon clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"That damn fatso. What is he thinking attacking an enemy that is willing to attack a Captain by himself?"
"Well, Soi Fon, at least he has proven himself to be capable of a pretty decent [Flash Step], reducing the punishment I planned for him."
Soi Fon couldn't help but scowl at how casually Yuna addressed her and briefly wondered how she knew the name [Flash Step], but hearing the word "punishment", she shelved those things away for now.
"Punishment? What are you talking about? I don't you have any business punishing anyone intruder."
"Well, if I want to punish someone, I do it. As if anyone could stop me. Besides that, it's not like it is any harsh punishments. Just a few little Kido prank spells I came up with."
Soi Fon's eyebrows rose when she heard the term "Kido prank spells", as she didn't believe that a random intruder could come up with new Kido spells, and even if they could, she couldn't fathom why they would bother developing pranks instead of something worthwhile.
"What are you even talking about? Whatever, it doesn't really matter, as I will capture you anyway. Tell me do you know what happens when the Corps Commander of the Executive Militia Corp draws their blade?"
As she finished speaking, she grabbed the handle of the blade she wore horizontally on her back while a vicious grin appeared on her face.
"What am I talking about? Well, you know, stuff like forcing him to fart randomly in public, accommodated by a bunch of confetti. Or him occasionally getting a cake in the face. Stuff like that. As for that blade thingy, I have no idea."
Soi Fon was just about to draw her blade when she heard Yuna's answer, causing her face to become deadpan.
"Seriously? Farts and cake? That's really immature."
Yuna's eyes widened in shock as she pointed a heavy shaking finger at Soi Fon.
"Y-You didn't just say that! Take that back immediately, or you will no longer have a spot in my harem!"
"WHO THE HELL WANTS A SPOT IN YOUR HAREM!!!"
As Soi Fon yelled at her, a smug smile appeared on Yuna's face while proudly puffing out her chest.
"Isn't that obvious? Everyone. Whether young or old, men or women, everyone wants in, but alas, I, unfortunately, have high standards and can only take in a selected few."
[Meaning, hot women.]
'Hey, hey, that's just not true. Appearance isn't really important. Rather than that, they need to be fun to be around.'
[And you surely aren't saying that because appearance can be fixed with cultivation techniques, right?]
'...Hehe.'
[~Gah Yuna hypocrit, Gahahaha]
'You sure know some hard words, Chaos.'
[Chaos, smart, Gah~]
Meanwhile, Soi Fon was looking at Yuna in utter bewilderment.
"You are delusional."
"I prefer the term 'insane'. Anyway, what about that sword thing?"
Hearing Yuna's question, Soi Fon managed to get out of her bewilderment as her vicious smile returned.
"That's right, as soon as my blade is drawn..."
Soi Fon unsheathed her blade, causing dozens of people in black clothing to appear around Yuna using [Flash Step].
"... the execution begins."
Meanwhile, Yuna looked around the people who had just appeared and nodded in approval.
"Those were some pretty good [Flash Steps]. I'm a little impressed."
Soi Fon couldn't help but get a little angry at how nonchalant Yuna talked despite being surrounded by her squad. She was just about to start talking when the atmosphere around Yuna shifted, turning much more dangerous.
"In that case, do you know what happens when this Yuna Uzumaki draws her blade?"
Yuna flared her Spiritual Pressure, causing Soi Fon to frown and a few weaker members of her squad to take a step back.
'This will be harder than I thought. Hopefully, I can overwhelm her with my speed.'
While Soi Fon was thinking about her next step, Yuna slowly pulled out one of her blades, and as soon as it was fully drawn, a smirk appeared on her face.
"Cake happens."
*SPLAT*
Dozen of cakes appeared out of nowhere and smacked every single person surrounding Yuna, including Soi Fun and Marechiyo, into the face.
Soi Fon instantly wiped the cake out of her face and glared at Yuna angrily. However, the person she tried to glare at was no longer there, and the only thing that was left was an ice statue of Yuna that was smirking at her in an insufferable manner, almost causing one of her blood vessels to burst in anger. If it was just that, Soi Fon might have been still fine, but on top of that insufferable smirk, the statue looked like it was languidly stretching its body, perfectly revealing its curves while almost showing the stuff that shouldn't be shown.
"F*CK!!! WHY ARE YOU STANDING AROUND IN A DAZE!? SEARCH HER AND BRING ME HER HEAD!!! NOW!!!"
As she finished speaking, everyone around her scattered to look for Yuna while Soi Fon used [Flash Step] to approach Yuna's statue and swung her blade at its neck.
*Clang*
The sound of metal hitting something incredibly hard echoed through the courtyard, dumbfounding Soi Fon as her blade didn't even leave a scratch on the statue.
'What the hell!? This looks like normal ice; how isn't it breaking!?'
Again and again, she slashed at the statue's neck, and the more she slashed, the angrier she became. Even the thought of using her Bankai briefly flashed through her mind, but she quickly dismissed that thought. So, after hacking at Yuna's statue for a few more minutes, she decided to simply give up and leave with the thought that it at least didn't stand at her home.
As Soi Fon was leaving, a pair of purple eyes looked at her in amusement and followed closely behind her. She didn't know it yet, but as soon as that purple pair of eyes found out where she lived, there would be a new addition to Soi Fon's home.
'[Divine Ice Style: Heavenly Statue Creation Substitution Art]'
[Is stalking a woman and erecting a statue of oneself in her home the newest method to pick up women?]
'Hehe, erect.'
[Gah~ Errect, Gahahaha!]
[*Sigh* I'll take that as a yes.]
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