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As of now, the patreòn is 3 chapters ahead.
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(A/N: the times changed for the uploads and I didn't know, so here's an extra chapter. Enjoy.)
Seeing as he wasn't allowed to kill young Miles Morales for his transgressions, Peter threw himself back into examining the lamp.
After a few hours, he came to a full understanding of the enchantments on the lamp and how to summon the Genie.
'I just have to rub the lamp a few times while injecting it with energy...' Peter thought as he sat back in his chair. 'Eldritch energy should work.'
Other than that, this particular lamp was made to do a few things.
Although most of the enchantments are normal Genie stuff, like summoning, becoming the master, getting three wishes, and all of that good stuff, the lamp also has a few add-ons.
Though most of them don't really matter, except for one.
The lamp will disappear after the third wish is granted, alongside the Genie of course.
Meaning, after the wish is granted, the lamp will teleport itself somewhere in the vast Universe, ready to be used once again by whoever finds it.
'Maybe I should waste a wish on keeping it out of other people's hands?' Peter wondered.
After all, this is a comic book world, where villains lurk in every corner of the universe.
Just imagining Thanos, Ego, or even some small-time bad guy finding the lamp and getting 3 wishes sends a shiver down Peter's spine.
"Looks like I'll only get two wishes..." Peter muttered as MJ came walking into the room and let out a tired sigh. "How did the talk go?"
He watched in amusement as MJ flopped onto the bed and pushed her face into a pillow.
"That bad, huh?" Peter laughed.
"You have no idea..." MJ says as she pulls her face out of the pillow. "I had to explain to them..."
-Flashback-
MJ sat on the coffee table in front of the kids, who were attentively listening to her explanation.
"...and that's why kissing like that is only for somebody you love, like your boyfriend or girlfriend." She finished her long-winded talk.
"Does that mean we're Miles' girlfriends now?" Lily asked in confusion.
"I don't think my dad will like that I have a boyfriend..." Gwen mutters in contemplation.
George Stacy is a high-level member of the Police Department, who has made quite a few joking threats over the years about shooting his daughter's future boyfriend.
"I don't think my dad does either..." Lily nods in understanding.
"..." Little Miles just sat there quietly with a confused look and a blushing face.
"No, that's not what I'm saying..."
-Flashback End-
"By the time I got them to understand that they weren't in Miles' harem, they started asking about sex, which was a whole other can of worms..." MJ groaned as she threw the blanket over herself, disappearing from the world.
"Are you sure that I can't just beat the kid a little bit?" Peter asks and receives a pillow to the face for his troubles.
...
After having dinner, where Peter had to deal with May and Grace squealing about Lily's kissing fiasco, the family hung out for a while before Lily's bedtime.
As Peter was leaving Lily's room after putting her to bed, he was immediately surrounded by the woman of the house.
"What's this about Lily being your AI assistant?" Grace asks disapprovingly.
"Well, I made her because I needed an assistant, so I offered her the job." Peter explains with a shrug. "But if she doesn't want to, then that's fine too. I can always make another less lifelike AI to do it."
"Good, because she's too young to be exposed to the type of criminals that you deal with." Grace seemed to be in favor of Peter's backup plan.
"Are you sure she's old enough to make this kind of decision?" May asked worriedly.
"Lily isn't a normal 10-year-old girl." Peter says matter of factly. "Actually, she's not even a year old, but that's not the point. Lily is already smart enough to have graduated college with a masters degree ten times over. Yeah, she's childlike and naive and we'll keep treating her as a child, but that doesn't mean we should hold her back with the rules and expectations of a normal kid."
"..."
That seemed to shut everyone up, as they didn't have a counter to Peter's little speech.
"Though, feel free to express your opinions to her." Peter says with a shrug. "I have no problem either way."
"Fine, I'll talk to her tomorrow." Grace mutters as she walks off down the hall followed by May.
Both of them didn't seem to agree with Lily making the choice herself, especially Grace, but they couldn't exactly argue with Peter's logic.
After all, he is her father.
The only possible route of changing his mind would be convincing MJ, though she didn't seem too bothered with Peter's decision.
"I'm going to sleep. Today has been an exhausting day..." MJ says as she walks off.
"We could pick up where we left off-"
*Bam!*
"No." MJ denies him instantly as she slams the bedroom door behind her, leaving Peter alone in the hallway.
Peter sighs as he looks down at his right hand and smiles wryly.
"At least I still have you..."
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After relieving himself the good old fashion way, Peter sat in the living room with a notepad and pen, thinking of good wishes that he could make.
The list started with the obvious stuff.
At first, Peter was thinking of the normal superpowers
Invisibility.
Superhuman Strength, though he already had that.
Flying
Shapeshifting
Super Speed, like the Flash.
Super Senses
Telepathy
Mind Control
Telekinesis
...
The list went on for a few pages before Peter gave up and crossed each of them out.
'It's just too generic...' Peter thought as he started thinking more abstractly.
Concept-type powers centered on an idea that allows essentially any effect related to it.
For example, Autopotence(Omnipotence over oneself), Boundary Manipulation, and Subjective Reality.
Function-type powers centered on what they do, which usually specialized in relatively specific fields.
For example, Creation, Destruction, and most Manipulations.
Mechanism-type powers centered on the manipulation of immanent laws of reality.
For example, Causality Manipulation, Physics Manipulation, and Virtual Warping.
Source-type powers centered on their origin are usually supernatural, allowing a variety of applications.
For example, Divinity, Lordship Powers, Magic, and Supernatural Dominion.
Unfathomable powers without actual cause or mechanism, which are defined as beyond understanding.
For example, Author Authority, Logic Manipulation, and systems.
Systems like a game status screen, missions, shops, inventory, and everything else definitely piqued Peter's interest.
'I could literally live my life like a game character and grow infinitely in the process...' Peter thought in interest, though the Genie may not be powerful enough to do something like that. 'Actually, almost everything that I just listed is probably outside of any Genie's power...'
Although he didn't believe that the Genie would be able to grant him things like Author Authority, Divinity, Virtual Warping, Creation, and Autopotence, Peter still left them on this list just in case it was possible.
'I only get two wishes, so I better make sure I'm thorough...' Peter thought as he stayed up all night filling the pages of his notebook with all sorts of ideas. 'I could try tricking the Genie into giving me more wishes...'
After thinking on that idea for a moment, Peter remembered the crazy intricate enchantments on the lamp.
"Yeah... That probably won't work." He muttered in disappointment.
Every possible loophole he could think of seemed to be covered by the lamps enchantments.
(A/N: I can't make him too OP after all)
By the time the sun rose and brightened the dark living room, Peter was just finished picking his wishes.
He made three different sets of wishes.
The first set consisted of the most overpowered stuff that he could think of, so basically Omnipotence-related stuff.
Though in case that isn't possible, Peter came up with two other sets of slightly lesser wishes.
And if those two aren't possible, then he'll just have to go back to the drawing board once again.
Peter also thought of wishing Thanos dead, though that seemed like a waste of a wish, as he could already be dead for all Peter knew.
And even if he isn't, then Peter can still handle him on his own, as he originally planned from the beginning.
"I need to get a lawyer to write up three separate contracts for these wishes..." Peter thought as only one name came to mind.
Whipping out his phone, Peter called the best and blindest lawyer he knew.
"Uhh, do you know what time it is?" Daredevil answered the phone with a tired groan.
"Yeah, but I need some help with a few contracts." Peter heard another groan from the other end. "Wake up, get some breakfast, and meet me in my office in an hour."
"Make it two..." Matt muttered as he ended the call.
"So rude..." Peter commented as he walked off to the kitchen and started making breakfast for the family.
As Peter was cooking a large breakfast for the many women in his life, he heard a knock at the door.
'Who the hell is at my door? It's not even 6 am yet...' Peter thought as he walked over and pulled the door open. "Why are you here?"
Standing across from him was the one and only bald spymaster, Nick Fury.
"My wife and daughter live here. How else am I supposed to see them?" Fury scoffs as he pushes past Peter and strolls inside.
"Sorry, let me rephrase." Peter says as he closes the door and follows after his father-in-law. "Why are you here so early in the morning?"
"Not all of us can make our own hours, like you. This is the time slot that I have open today." Fury says as he walks into the kitchen and found a bunch of freshly cooked breakfast foods. "I didn't know that you could cook?"
Peter watches as the old spy starts making a plate of food for himself.
"Well, no offense but your daughter is a horrible cook, so I ended up filling that role in the relationship." Peter says with a laugh.
"Oh, trust me, I know." Fury winced as he remembered the last time MJ cooked for him.
"Well, make yourself at home, I guess." Peter says as Fury sat down at the table with his food. "I'm going to wake up..."
Peter was just about to say his daughter's name, but then he remembered that Fury has no idea that Lily even exists.
Instantly, a smirk appeared on his face as Peter walked out of the kitchen, confusing Fury with his odd behavior.
'This will be an entertaining morning...' Peter thought as he climbed the steps and opened Lily's bedroom door.
Lily slept sprawled out on her bed with her mouth wide open and drool leaking out onto her pillow.
"Rise and shine, Princess." Peter says as he walks over and pulls the curtains open, lighting up the room in an instant.
"Ugh..." Lily groaned as the sun hit her face, waking her up. "5 more hours..."
"Isn't the line 5 more minutes?" Peter asks as he takes a seat on her bed.
"5 minutes isn't long enough..." Lily grumbled as she peeked up at her smiling father. "Can you stop being so happy in the morning? It's a time of dread and slothfulness, not joy and happiness."
"Well, my little thesaurus, there's a reason for this smile." Peter says as Lily stares up at him in interest. "Your grandpa is here and he doesn't even know that you exist."
"Is it Fury?" Lily asks in excitement.
Instantly, her usual morning mood disappeared.
She knew all about her grandpa from the data she stole from the Tower.
"Yeah, and I was thinking we could prank him a little bit. Are you in?" Peter asks as Lily's face blooms into a mischievous smile, matching her fathers perfectly.
"What's the plan?"
A/N: 2006 words
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Stones?!