章 162: Change

[Zero's Pov]

"Hey, guys."

It was pretty funny to see how awkward my new friends were acting after the little incident. While Robert had gone over to Gomerick, I had naturally stayed with Stella and Thomas, who both weren't quite sure how to act.

In the end, after a couple of seconds debating whether or not it would be appropriate, Stella finally resolved herself. Before I knew it, my head was squished between her softness as she hugged me tightly, making Thomas stand around even more awkwardly.

"Stella?"

"Shh... Just... Stand still for a bit."

If we had been alone, this scene might have been quite emotional, but as we were now standing in the middle of a group of both freshmen and sophomores, I didn't feel like this was the time or place for it.

However, something inside of me made it so I didn't protest, instead just accepting the warmth of another human being for a moment. 'Just... just for a bit. It should be fine to just stand here for a second, right? I should be allowed to just... breathe for a bit? Ah, she smells nice...'

Unfortunately for us, a very irritated Caroline and a blushing Akane just came back from the other ring, "Hey, Stella, are you sure you should do this right here? There are a lot of people watching, you know?"

She quickly released me from her arms as she realized what kind of situation she was in, her face glowing bright red, "Oh, I was just... This wasn't..."

I didn't want the one who had gifted me a couple of seconds of relief to have to stand alone against Caroline, who I knew would have a clear upper hand in a mental war, so I came to her rescue once again.

"It's okay, Stella. Thank you, I needed that. And isn't it enough that I understand what you meant to do? I'm happy to have a friend like you!"

Unable to take the critical hit Stella just smiled with red cheeks and turned her eyes to the ground. At the same time, I imagined I could hear Caroline let out an inaudible *Tch!* but she wasn't foolish enough to show anyone her feelings about the matter.

"Zero, would you mind coming with me for a bit?"

Our teacher also came to us, wearing a very complicated expression. "Sure? But don't you have more matches to watch over?"

Waving her hand, she explained the solution she had found, "Don't worry, I have a replacement that will be here any second now. Also, it won't take that long, so we will just miss one or two matches at most. Ah, he is here."

Coming into the stadium, we could see a teacher walking in while yawning, clearly incredibly uninterested in whatever was going down. "Ms. Turner, I'm here... So these are the new students? They sure look shabby. So, what's the order of duels? And is that white-haired squirt supposed to be Zero?

Seeing the teacher that didn't want to be here in the first place talk, it was hard not to be surprised to see Ainu having such an unenthusiastic teacher. While Jessica gave him the list of matches and told him a bit about the students, I took a second to look a bit closer at him.

All in all, he was a very ordinary-looking man, with brown hair and dark eyes. His body as well was incredibly unassuming, with the only thing sticking out being his olive skin, but when I sent out a subtle pulse of mana to gauge him, his head suddenly turned to me. For a second, my whole being was enveloped in a primal fear seeing the intent behind his eyes.

'Who is he?'

"Brat, haven't you learned any manners? Ah, I did hear about you not having much experience. So, do you want me to give you some? I promise you that you will learn a lot."

"Mr. Abbas, please refrain from threatening my students. Now, go ahead and start the next match. At this rate, we will be stuck here for the rest of the day."

"Haa, fine. I was just joking a bit. Then, please come forward... Caroline and Akane?"

"Now, please follow me, Zero."

Leaving the others to their own devices, I followed my teacher to the best of my ability while trying not to run. However, there was such a clear difference between the length of our legs that I sometimes had to awkwardly speed up to make sure she didn't get too far away.

Exiting the stadium, she quickly found a bench that she invited me to sit down at with her. For some reason, she brought out something from her spatial inventory. An item I had never seen her use before.

*Click!, Puff*

A stream of smoke exited her mouth as she exhaled a deep breath she had taken with the cigarette in her mouth. 'Hmm? Is this some kind of intervention? Maybe something about the world and how I am not fit to be a student at Ainu?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. Is it okay for you if I smoke for a bit while we talk?'

'Sure you didn't. What a shitty actor you are, Jessica.'

Of course, I couldn't say that out loud, instead opting to just smile brightly, "Of course! I don't mind!"

Setting her eyes up to the sky that had begun to darken a bit, she spoke with a heavy tone, "You know, Zero, this world... No, the people of this world, they might not be what you think they are."

"What do you mean, teacher?"

"I mean that your way of looking at the world isn't the way most people view things, especially humans. And... if you're going to survive at Ainu, I think you need to change how you look at things. And, if you can't... Then..."

'Ah, maybe the church made it clear that they wanted me to finish my education here, no matter what. So instead of telling me directly that I'm not fit to be here, she is trying to make Zero realize it himself. How silly...'

Standing up, I kept my childish smile on my face, contrasting the sharp lines of my face and eyes, "Hey, Ms. Turner, am I really the one you want to change?"

Caught off guard by the question she hadn't ever expected to come, she couldn't quite find any words to answer as she looked at me, "I-I... What do you mean?"

Now it was my turn to turn my eyes to the sky, working hard to feel the vast loneliness of the stratosphere. It was a place that was oh-so-very close to Zero and yet so far away. This was the setting I chose for the current conversation.

"I'm also starting to become aware that things outside weren't like I thought they would be, that some people do bad things to good people. Also, I've noticed that I wasn't the one I thought I was."

"Isn't it silly? I am supposed to be the one to support everyone around me, the one who has to make sure we get through the inevitable war that is coming. Yet, I have already broken down several times already. And I can understand why you think I should change."

"Zero..."

Raising a hand toward the sky, I wanted to finish the painting as symbolic as I could make it, "Whatever happens, I can't change. No, I don't want to change. Because that would mean that I have lost my purpose. And without it, I am nothing. Haha, it's sad, isn't it? But unlike other people, I don't have the possibility to choose a normal life."

'Something's wrong...'

Although I was smiling brightly, tears had inadvertently started running down my cheeks again, and even though I felt like I was in control, I didn't feel like I spoke words of my own.

"I wasn't sent here to change, I am here to help others change. No, I am here to protect them so they can change on their own. Because that's what living is about. Living is about changing, about evolving and becoming more than you were yesterday."

I knew that these weren't the words of James, they were the words of Zero. However, both of my personas somehow resonated heavily with the words.

"But I can't change, nor do I want to. We all have our roles to play, Jessica, and this is my role. I'm the shield that will always revolve around humanity and the shield that will never change its form. This is my redemption, the way I make up for being a burden to the people around me."

I had no idea what kind of words I allowed Zero to speak out of our mouth, but I knew I had to let it happen. This was the first time our beings resonated with each other, and although we didn't share the same view of the world, nor did we have the same ambitions, right at this moment, we fully understood each other.

No, just for a second, I fully understood myself. Now I understood. There had been no lie about what I told Sophie and Sarah. In the end, Zero would inevitably perish.