Chapter 80
I had woken up in a sweat, perspiration was beading my forehead and I was panting. I felt hot. Normally I would have thought I was sick, but I knew what it was.
I knew I had a strange dream. A very very strange one. But I could not for the life of me recall a thing. The only evidence was the wetness between my legs and the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
"Madeline…" I muttered my name in a trance as if I had heard it chanted over and over again. I frowned and decided to get ready for the day.
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*Jules POV*
Rejection was something I had felt often growing up. I had exhibited the same towards myself. I had rejected the part of me that everyone rejected. I had tried to become a pure blood human despite feeling like an imposter.
It had been normal to reject it. A practice so well mastered It came as second nature to me.
So when I finally realised that I truly wasn't human and found the one person who didn't reject me for it. Yet even she didn't want me truly. Even she couldn't get passed having a lover who wasn't completely human.
I thought back to her words.
'To give you the best selection'.
Was that what she said? Or was it 'to help you find someone else to replace me?'
What had she meant?
Why was Madeline any different? What made her unlike the other women who came to see me for who I am. Why did it have to be her?
I recalled the warmth of her hand on my own and the way her fingers had traced mine. Had she even known what feelings she spurred in me?
It was night and yet I couldn't sleep at all. I simply stared at the ceiling above me and slowly I sat up. For a moment I was unsure of whether I was still sleeping when my feet moved by themselves. It was as if I were in a trance. I was walking towards the walls and I shut my eyes to prepare for the pain of the impact, but it never never hit me. Instead I opened my eyes in the hallway outside my room. My legs did not stop and I was sure I was dreaming when my feet planted me outside her room.
I had walked passed here so often, only glancing at the door before walking passed. Wishing for her to step out and greet me and yet I once claimed to never be one for romances.
But here I was, walking fearlessly into her room.
I couldn't explain how lovely she was at that moment. Her hair sprawled across the pillow and her soft breaths escaping her lips.
"Madeline…" I whispered, wishing her eyelids would open and look at me. "Madeline" I repeated. "Madeline…"
She seemed to stir for a moment that was much too exhilarating. When she stilled completely I let a long breath- I wasn't sure if it was relief or disappointment.
My hand reached for her hair and suddenly I was in a white empty plane, void of everything.
Her mind.
She was asleep. Her mind at peace. But I wanted to see her- to feel her so desperately that I conjured her into the white plane, but like before she lay on her back, eyes shut.
I wanted her to wake up- so much that I loudly called her name.
"Madeline!"
No movement whatsoever.
I had called her again and again but she never stirred. It was different to what father had explained. He would converse and walk with mother, but Madeline had not moved last time and even now she didn't move either.
I sat next to her sleeping body, peering at the peaceful face. She was beautiful. Everything down to her fingernails .
Was she this beautiful when I first met her? I had almost missed her completely that day at the opening ball, so why could I barely look away from her right now?
My eyes swept down her body, a heat rising in me and I looked away. Anger pulsed through me at the thought of another man entangled up with her. Her "intended".
I scoffed, but even mocking couldn't cover up the way my heart felt torn at the fact she was so close yet so beyond my reach.
I hadn't even had a rational thought when my hand brushed against her face and I recalled my last visit. That time I simply wanted a drink, just a sip but it had escalated.
Could I get away with it again?
Could I mark her in our dreams?
I breathed in her scent. Leaning down, my hands bracing on her small shoulders as I inhaled in the crook of her neck. The scent was something else. Awakening all my desires with a single whiff.
I could feel the usual hardness that was only ever triggered by her. I wanted to feel that ecstasy once again, but knowing this wasn't a dream made me feel something strange. I wasn't sure what it was. It was a sort of heavy weight in my chest that was followed by a long melancholic ache.
Was it guilt?
But still I breathed in her scent, my lips eventually claiming her neck. My teeth sunk into her soft skin, the sweetness numbing my mind and just like that everything turned red.
My senses dulled into the ecstasy and suddenly desire greatly overpowered all reason.
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