章 105: I swear soysauce does not work well with human meat!
Guilt was living rent-free in the bookworm's chest. It crept up, consumed Kurokawa, and finally pushed her off the edge once the timing was right. That was why she chose to die at Han's hands. In Kurokawa's mind, she believed nothing else was left to live for.
Kuro's shell was so tough that even the main character of I Will Survive With A Harem Ending did not get through. But we should all know by now that inside that shell was a girl who desperately wanted to be acknowledged. She was like anyone else in this world or outside, looking for a place to call home and rest without worries. Honestly, that is just not Kurokawa alone. Everyone in this world desires that. In her broken voice, she told me she wanted to be noticed, cared for, and looked after. She was human.
There was only one way and only one to break the shell: from the inside. Unfortunately, Kurokawa lacked the conviction to turn the strength used to create the barriers around her body into growth in the past. Thus, the critical moment when she could cast off her inner fears without being hurt never came. The story ended horribly for her. It was a tragedy in all of its meaning.
But now, things are different! Although I do not understand how much my influence contributed, Kurokawa has been able to face me directly with everything laid bare. The thing I saw might have dealt the blow Kurokawa needed most. That scene where Kurokawa proposed to me was like a tiny light at the end of the tunnel for her. It lit up her heart and its cold, lonely space. She knows now someone is really looking after her despite everything.
Because said shell was nearly indestructible, Kurokawa bloomed brighter than the sun when she walked out. It was the nutrition needed to become this Kurokawa with a cheek rubbing my shoulder.
I merely gave her a place. Kurokawa decided the rest.
...If we are being exceptionally picky here, I have a foot in her sudden changes.
Nothing to brag about. This is only the basics of the basics for me. It is not like I feel proud or anything. Shut up!
I should stop puffing my chest, though...
Kuro is the iridescent flower that blossoms from adversaries, growing not from soil and sunshine but from stones and storms. She is the duckling that came to accept its reflection in the water. It knew it was different from the other ducklings, and nothing was wrong. By doing what she did, Kuro cast off the veil before her face to see the world in its true colors. At the same time, she finally lets herself be vulnerable to everything that can happen.
If that is not bravery, I do not know what is. For someone who had to deal with anxiety about appearance, the bookworm did something completely unimaginable on my part. From this moment onward, Kuro knows she will have to listen and endure the stares and whispers of everyone. She came to terms with her greatest nemesis, self-doubt, just like those heroes in her novels, even when she knew that things could bite her in the future.
Some may say there are those who have to face threats in their lives that are much worse than Kuro's trial while not saying a word. That the things she has been through were incomparable if put next to their suffering. I offer formal condolences as their shallow nature has made it clear nothing gets through them.
A hero's journey has never been about fighting a boss or how big of an obstacle they are about to face. Any author can write its death in the first chapter, emphasizing how big and bad the great evil really is. The real journey for anyone in this life is about self-discovery. It is a story about growth, about how the protagonist fixes their mistakes and improves.
Kurokawa did that. She is strong, and no one can say anything about it to change my mind. This is also why I will not take any credit from her.
"Thank you for being here, C. You don't understand how grateful I am." Tears slowly fill the corners of her green eyes.
"Thank you for waiting, Kurokawa." If she did not, things would have been...different.
In a way, she gave me a feeling of finally letting go of something. When I saw the invisible chains tied to Kuro's body broken and faded into the air, Kurokawa putting her hand down and letting the wind blow through her hair depicted the same thing, albeit no chains were visible. Nevertheless, the atmosphere was similar. It was freedom that I felt from her. If the touch freed her body, then that moment freed her soul.
Throughout the years of finding a way to solve her event, I learned that she needs acceptance more than anything. To put her first step forward, she craved affirmation. That affirmation must come from within her heart, which was impossible for someone who never acknowledged her well-being. She has done it now. Everything is put behind.
No, perhaps I am saying this wrong. Kurokawa did not deny her past. Someone as smart as Kuro does not forget the events and regards them as non-existent. On the contrary, she looked at her drawbacks and embraced them like hugging a friend. She changed not because of abandoning her existence or refusing to accept the truth but because she did the exact opposite.
I accept Kurokawa for who she was and is.
And today...
She, too, has begun to do the same.
To the bookworm, who has never shown her scar to anyone, today has been a memorable day. I am not exaggerating to say she would remember this day until the end.
"I am glad, Kurokawa, to see you like this."
"And I am glad to be by your side, my dear husband."
Objectively speaking, if the other two heard this, they would probably go berserk. Even when Laura and Rachel have changed considerably compared to their past variants, their possessiveness should be there. And I, as someone who already has a legitimate girlfriend, am not supposed to accept such behaviors.
"Okay, so about the husband thing..."
We should not do that.
"Hm? What about it?" Kurokawa looks at me innocently. "I love you and want you to stay by my side forever. Isn't that enough?"
Ugh! My heart! Also, for someone as smart as her, it is weird she is thinking so naively.
Although I hate to break it down for Kuro, and my heart strangely refuses to do it, my mind is still in absolute control. Fear of death triumphs over horniness. Yes, the girls are much milder than their previous versions. There is a chance of me actually getting a harem out of it. And yes, I am not risking my life. At least not until I can confirm they can live together.
"Firstly, I really appreciate your feelings. I would have accepted your confession if Laura was not my current girlfriend. Who wouldn't want to be with someone as beautiful as you?"
Kurokawa remains unaffected by my words. A smile never leaves her beaming face.
Is it just me, or is my rejection totally ineffective toward these girls? Rachel was like that. Kurokawa is, too. Are they not supposed to feel dejected even a little? I would have been devastated if I were in their shoes, honestly.
"I understand we saw the same thing, Kuro. But I don't know if what happened in that...world was real. If because of an illusion that you have come to be attached to me, that would not be right."
"That world was real, C. We all saw it. More importantly, I think you liked having me by your side." Kurokawa tilts her head and looks at me with the eyes of a child. "I am your wife. You are my husband. We shared a precious oath that binds our souls together. It's just that simple."
I do like it. But I will not let Kuro know.
Shaking my head to clear out nonsensical thoughts, I continue: "I'm afraid you can't call me that. You know already what kind of relationship Laura and I are in now."
"If you are afraid of me doing something drastic, don't. I don't mind being the third wife, though. I came last, after all." The bookworm chuckles. "As long as I am with you, that's more than enough for me."
"That's not the poi-Wait? Third wife? Since when did I get a second wife?" I then stop for a quick break for my tiny brain to work some more. "On second thought, since when did I have a wife?"
Hearing my sentences, Kurokawa immediately claps her hands: "Exactly, you don't have a wife. That's why it's fine to call you my husband. As. A. Wife."
It seems I have stepped directly into her verbal trap card.
Laura is going to sashimi my dick for this...
(Man, would you look at that, we're over 100 chapters now. I never thought I would get this far.)
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