章 480: Humans Can Not See What Does Not Exist!
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 480 Humans Can Not See What Does Not Exist!
"Wait, Douman, these people..."
Seimei still wanted to say something, but before he could finish speaking, he was directly pushed toward the arena by Kagura.
"Big brother, I'll leave the first match to you! We will cheer for you from below!" Gintoki crossed his arms and snorted, "Then, leave the following matches to us!"
"Before Crystel nods, I will not acknowledge you as my in-law!" Seimei turned around and shouted angrily, "Speaking of which, if you really want to help, no matter how you look at it, this first game that has nothing to do with Shikigami should be yours, right? How bad are you in math?"
"Come on, siscon," Kagura shouted at Seimei.
"Seimei-san, you must be careful when answering the seventh!" Shinpachi shouted at Seimei.
"Seimei-sama, good luck." Gedoumaru shouted perfunctorily, "I believe that if it was the strongest Onmyoji like Seimei-sama, he would definitely be able to answer such a simple nine-nine multiplication table correctly."
"This kind of thing has nothing to do with being the strongest Onmyoji, right? It should be said that it is something that even ordinary people know, right?" Seimei was speechless, but then he noticed that Gintoki and the others behind him all turned their faces to the side, including Gedoumaru and Kawaki.
"Forget it, forget it. If I continue to talk, I will feel that there is not even a normal person on my side..." Seimei held his forehead and sighed helplessly. Then, he raised his head and walked toward the arena step by step.
Seeing Seimei walk into the arena, Douman snorted disdainfully, "Hmph, sending a general in the first match? Looks like there really is no one else to use. Hahahaha..."
"Who are you laughing at for being an idiot who can't even do the multiplication table?!" Gintoki and the others shouted at the same time.
"No one said that!" Douman shouted angrily, "By the way, are you admitting this to yourselves? Are you admitting to yourself that you can't even recite the complete nine-nine multiplication table?"
"Douman, stop saying useless words," Seimei said faintly, "Come on up."
"Our situation is different from yours. The talented Shirino clan will not send out their generals in the first match." Douman snorted and then asked a Shirino clan member behind him, "Hey, is the old man in the accounting room not here yet?"
"In the end, you also don't know it right?!" Gintoki and the others shouted.
"Who is the old man in the accounting room?!" Shinpachi ask.
"Old... old... old man is here..." A little old man who looked at least seventy-five years old, carrying a cane and with a trembling waist bent into a boomerang, staggered over, "I... I heard... Leader... The leader asked me to fight..."
"The first match written test will be handed over to you! Old Man!" Douman said angrily, "As the accountant in charge of Shirino clan expenses, you will never lose in this kind of place! I believe in you!"
"Thanks... thanks to the leader... Hey, that... what is it... I must be... Hey, that... what is it..."
"Alright, alright! Hurry up and go up!" Douman said impatiently, "Stop talking slowly! Come up quickly!"
...
On the stage, facing each other in front of two tables with white paper and pens, sat Seimei and the old accountant from the Shirino clan who were almost losing his teeth.
In the middle position between the two people was a bald Onmyoji from the Shirino clan holding a microphone and acting as the host.
"Cough cough!" The host cleared his throat and spoke to the crowd, "Now let me explain the rules a little. Three Onmyoji from each side will team up with their Shikigami to determine a victor through a battle of magic."
"There will be any legal implications if someone were to die. And if you give up before you die, you will survive, but naturally, you'll lose. Then I will now explain the rules for the first match."
"The first match is a written test. The purpose is to test the contestant's basic intelligence and common sense. In this new era, it is impossible for an Onmyoji to only have strength but turn out to be an idiot. Absolutely not, you should at least have a certain level of knowledge."
"Hey! Who are you calling an idiot?!" Douman shouted angrily.
"Um...Contestant Douman, I'm not referring to you. Please don't belittle yourself in this way." The host continued, "Finally, let me introduce the rules of the first match. The two contestants have to answer the out-of-order nine-nine multiplication formulas prepared on the table within half an hour. Remember, it is only half an hour! In addition, you can ask for help Shikigami! The full score is 90 points! Two points will be deducted for each wrong answer! In the end, the one with the higher score wins! Then...begin!!"
"Come on! Big brother!" Gintoki shouted at Seimei on the stage.
"Who are you calling big brother!" Seimei snapped, "Then, shut your mouth and be quiet while I do the questions!"
"The first match was already so difficult," Kagura shook her head and said with a sigh, "It's actually a multiplication table that's out of order-aru. Even a siscon would not be able to answer all of it correctly."
"What is six times seven equal to, Shinpachi?" Gintoki whispered to Shinpachi, "Is it thirty-two or forty-eight?"
"No, Gin-san, six times seven is equal to forty-five," Shinpachi corrected.
"These guys..." Kawaki thought with black lines all over his head.
"Little uncle, help me take a photo-aru." Kagura took out his communicator and handed it to Kawaki, "I want to send the photo to Mommy to see-aru."
"Speaking of which, Kagura-chan looks a lot better wearing this outfit than usual. Is this the so-called uniform theorem?"
After praising Kagura with a smile, Kawaki took the communicator in Kagura's hand, turned on the camera function, and took pictures of Kagura.
And Kagura also played one pose after another very cooperatively.
"Huh huh, even little uncle noticed the feminine charm that I exude-aru?" Kagura snorted twice, revealing a proud face.
After hearing that, Kawaki handed the communicator to Kagura after taking the photo. After a long silence, he said, "I'm sorry, Kagura."
"What do you mean by sorry?!" Kagura instantly exploded and shouted angrily, "Bastard!"
"Kagura, even if it's me, little uncle..." Kawaki shook his head gently, sighed, and continued, "I can't see anything that doesn't exist at all."
"Yes, it's too much, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi said from the side.
"Kagura..." Gintoki shook his head, and then cast a warm and pitying look at Kagura, "Just forget those things. Only by forgetting those pains can you grow more easily."
"No! you can't forget!" Kawaki retorted, and then looked at Kagura with a serious face, "Remember them! Face them directly! Only those who face those pain can grow!"
"All of die!" As she shouted, Kagura kicked Kawaki, Gintoki, and Shinpachi away at the same time.
...
Half an hour later, the first match ended. Seimei covered his face and walked down the stage.
"Well, I hope you can forget about today's first match." Seimei came in front of Kawaki and the others and reminded them in a low voice.
"Forgot something?" Kawaki raised an index finger and said with a squinted smile, "Is it because you tied with that old man who couldn't stand still or because you both answered three questions wrongly?"
"If possible, please forget the entire first match..."
"Big brother, you have worked very hard." Gintoki looked at Seimei with a gentle gaze.
"Why should I be praised by you?"
"Then, the first match will end here. Both sides are tied!" The host or the referee spoke again, "Because the first match is a tie, the second match will be more decisive! By the way, if the second match is also a tie, then the third match will be added as the final decider!"
"We are going, siscon." With that, Kagura dragged Shinpachi to the stage.
"Hey! In a sense, this is also the final! Why did the two of you go up just like that?" Seimei, who had come back to his senses, quickly turned around and shouted at Kagura and Shinpachi on the stage.
"Big brother, don't worry. I'm sure that they'll be able to win.." Gintoki stepped forward and stood beside Seimei, "They aren't so weak as to lose to magic."
"Yes, I always believed that Kagura could win," Kawaki said casually as he crossed his arms.
"What's the point of believing? Why do I see that the two of them are definitely going to lose?" Seimei pointed at Shinpachi and Kagura on the stage and continued, "Also, this isn't about losing to magic. That isn't even a Shikigami, right?"
"No, it's a Shikigami. The Yorozuya gofer," Gintoki lied without blushing.
"It's a gofer wearing full-body tights, right?" Seimei retorted. Then, he saw Shinpachi, who was standing on the stage and twisting his body, his eyes darting around. He continued expressionlessly, "Look at his eyes, they are swimming all over! It's doing the butterfly! It's splashing everywhere!"
On the other side, Douman also chose the participants for the second match. It was a middle-aged man named Yasunori.
"Yasunori, take the second match!" Douman shouted to Yasunori, who was standing on the arena stage, "If you can, end them in the second match! Show them the might of the Shirino clan."
"Yes, my lord!" After responding, the man named Yasunori took out a folded paper man from his sleeve. He pinched the paper man with his index and middle fingers and shouted, "I summon you, Yashamaru!!"
As soon as he finished speaking, the paper man in Yasunori's hand turned into a ray of light and flew to the center of the arena.
After a bang, smoke rose from the arena.
A few seconds later, the figure of the Shikigami appeared in the gradually dissipating smoke.
Seeing the blue-skinned Shikigami in front of him, with a strong body, a ferocious face, and a height of at least three meters, full of fangs, staring at him with a fierce expression, Shinpachi was frightened. After being stunned for a few seconds, Shinpachi's eyes rolled back and he fell forward toward the ground.
After falling to the ground, Shinpachi's body was still tensed up due to fear. At the same time, Shinpachi was trembling uncontrollably.
"Hey, he stopped doing the butterfly! He's sunk to the bottom of the pool!" Looking at Shinpachi who kept opening his mouth like a fish, Seimei couldn't help but complain, "Call the lifeguard! He's drowning! Save him, quick!"
But at this time, Shinpachi finally recovered and crawled toward the arena's edge.
"No! Gin-san! I definitely can't!" Shinpachi crawled to the edge of the arena and shouted at Gintoki.
However, Gintoki did not seem to care. He dug his nose and naturally turned his face to the side. At the same time, Seimei also turned his face to the side. As for Kawaki, he was sitting cross-legged with his hands crossed. No one knew what he was thinking.
"Hey? Don't ignore me! Bastards!" Shinpachi shouted loudly. But then, Shinpachi thought of the rules announced by the host before ----- If you give up before you die, you will survive.
Thinking of this, Shinpachi stood up without hesitation, raised his hands, and shouted to the host on the side, "I give..."
Without waiting for Shinpachi to finish speaking, Kagura covered Shinpachi's mouth and stopped him from continuing.
"Huh?" The host looked over in confusion, "Did you say something, Team Ketsuno?"
"Nothing at all. I forgot to feed him!" As she said that, Kagura took out a can of dog food from somewhere and pressed it directly into Shinpachi's mouth. She said in a low voice, "Here's some Pedigree jam. Eat up."
( Pedigree: dog food brand.)
"Then I will now explain the rules for the second match," The host continued. At the same time, a small path slowly rose and connected to the arena, "The second match will consist of a three-legged race by Shikigami and master that culminates in..."
"Is this an eating race?" Shinpachi raised his head in surprise, "We have a chance of winning then!"
However, just as Shinpachi finished speaking, the host said what he hadn't had the time to say earlier, "The pandemonium-eating race.".
Looking at the two extremely curious-looking creatures hanging above the finish line on the other side of the trail, which were the same except for the color, and disgusting mucus dripping from their bodies, Shinpachi opened his mouth and screamed. He turned his head around and cursed wildly, "Ah----! Wh-What the hell is a Pandemonium?!"
"One of the SHikigami's favorite foods. Pandemonium larvae." Gedoumaru, who was below the stage, explained unhurriedly, "Well, it's sort of like a snack. You're so lucky~ You get to eat this in an eating contest. "
"How could something so creepy be a snack?!" Shinpachi retorted crazily.
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